Jaskier "old-timey fuckboy" Alfred Pankratz (
cointosser) wrote in
abraxaslogs2021-10-01 09:35 pm
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[ CLOSED ] when I'm like this, you're the one I trust
Who: Jaskier, Ciri, Geralt, eventually Sam?
When: First week of October
Where: The desert outskirts of Cadens
What: Jaskier attempts to help Ciri learn magic with disastrous results.
Warnings: Bodily injury, may move to mild body horror depending.
[With the climate they found themselves in, it only made sense for them to really embrace their new... eccentric talents. At least, that was what Jaskier tells himself, and when he tells himself it -- regarding Ciri, in particular -- it all makes sense, of course. If they are all gifted with magic, then it only makes sense to make use of it.
After all, it's free. And they need skills to make a living off of. As far as he understands, Ciri is, er, well. Like Geralt. A hunter.
Magic, hunting. It all fits together.
Okay, fine. He's terribly bored also. And he's tired of being the only one with magic around here. (He's still avoiding the whole plant thing. He prefers not to think about it, actually.]
All right, my dear. I -- well, I don't claim to know many, er, spells, but we can start on what I started on. Simply a little bird. [He, of course, adds a completely unnecessary flourish to his movements, and a bit of sparks, holding out his hand with a dove sitting on his palm.]
It's a bit hard to describe. I sort of... imitated watching it, I suppose.
[He sort of definitely wants to see Ciri try to imitate his flourish.]
When: First week of October
Where: The desert outskirts of Cadens
What: Jaskier attempts to help Ciri learn magic with disastrous results.
Warnings: Bodily injury, may move to mild body horror depending.
[With the climate they found themselves in, it only made sense for them to really embrace their new... eccentric talents. At least, that was what Jaskier tells himself, and when he tells himself it -- regarding Ciri, in particular -- it all makes sense, of course. If they are all gifted with magic, then it only makes sense to make use of it.
After all, it's free. And they need skills to make a living off of. As far as he understands, Ciri is, er, well. Like Geralt. A hunter.
Magic, hunting. It all fits together.
Okay, fine. He's terribly bored also. And he's tired of being the only one with magic around here. (He's still avoiding the whole plant thing. He prefers not to think about it, actually.]
All right, my dear. I -- well, I don't claim to know many, er, spells, but we can start on what I started on. Simply a little bird. [He, of course, adds a completely unnecessary flourish to his movements, and a bit of sparks, holding out his hand with a dove sitting on his palm.]
It's a bit hard to describe. I sort of... imitated watching it, I suppose.
[He sort of definitely wants to see Ciri try to imitate his flourish.]
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Geralt steps into the room without announcing himself. His hair's only half-heartedly swept up, though he does, to his credit (and Sam's) look as if he's gotten sleep and eaten more than a few bites. ]
I imagine he'll regret his insistence soon. [ Because a Witcher's appetite is not small, and especially not so while healing. Geralt figures he'll hunt Sam a deer later to repay him. In the meantime, he settles against the wall beside Jaskier's bed. He's got something in his hands: the lute inside its case, which had been put aside during all this.
His gaze lingers on the scar as he sets the lute next to Jaskier. The bruises on his throat. (He wants to say at least it wasn't his voice this time, but Jaskier needs his hands equally as much.) ] Decided on which thrilling monster gave you that scar yet?
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He doesn't need to thank Geralt. It says everything that he even thought of the instrument. Brought it to him again.]
Somehow I think it would be impossible to eat him out of house or home. [He glances to the scar with a laugh and, dare he say it, the smallest bit of a flush.] How did you guess? [He holds his arm out as if for Geralt to inspect it, running fingers gently along the ridge.] Do you think anyone would believe a warg? Surely a bard can fight off a warg single-handedly. Armedly. [He lifts the plate of food and places it on top of the lute case, pushing it towards him with silent insistence.
Hmm, maybe not a warg. He'd hate to get people afraid of wolves again, knowing one of his friends turns into one.
Jaskier watches him, his humor fading. A thousand questions to ask, but only one is prominently important.]
How is Ciri?
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Try a small weasel, if believability is your concern.
[ He lifts his eyes from the scar to the plate Jaskier pushes his direction. The concept of a sandwich is new to him, but it's one he's embraced for its practicality. He takes one of the halves without hesitating, long used to eating what Jaskier won't have or won't finish.
A line of tension tightens his shoulders. He sighs. Ciri is...he'd succeeded in distracting her for the night. Easing some of her worries. But he knows it's temporary, that she needs guidance she can trust in, and Geralt hasn't got any way of reaching Yennefer. Not without provoking suspicion from those undoubtedly always on edge in Thorne.
He's quiet when he answers. ] She's afraid.
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[Said affectionately, with a laugh that's soft and makes him hold his neck for a moment. Ow. Still, he can't help himself. A weasel. It's not Geralt if he isn't still an ass.
Jaskier takes a bite of his own half if only because he doesn't want Sam in here thinking he doesn't appreciate his food. (It's delightful. He's very fond of sandwiches already. It's such a simple concept -- shove everything you'd like to eat at once between bread.)
It's not the answer he wants, but it doesn't surprise him, either. Geralt has never minced words.] Not of me, I imagine. [He looks away, sighing.] I'm still not sure what went wrong. I'm simply sorry she had to drag me all the way here. [He turns back to Geralt.] I'm very happy you're the one who trained her, considering how capable she is. Otherwise I'm sure one of us would now be weasel food.
[Do weasels live in the desert? Look, it doesn't matter.]
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Jaskier's remark turns his expression sharp. His eyes cut towards the bard. Yeah. He has trained her. To slay monsters, wield a sword. She needs more than that. It must be the reason how she knows Yennefer, how they're close, and yet. He's realizing if that's true, if Ciri has spent time with Yennefer and is still so unsure of her magic, it means her power is...a hell of a lot more than Geralt imagined. ]
The Singularity affects those with their own power...differently. I can't access any of the magic you have, either.
[ He truthfully isn't trying to hide it from Jaskier, what Ciri is capable of—not that he knows much about it in the first place. More that he's been wanting Ciri to do it on her own time, when she's ready. It's not his secret to tell, not even to Jaskier. He pauses. ]
You should talk to her. She'll want to hear from you you're all right.
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Jaskier's mouth opens, then closes.
He purses his lips.]
I didn't realize. [He pauses.] That Ciri had her own power.
[The way Jaskier looks away sharply says it all: he's suddenly uncomfortable. No, no. It's worse. He's uncomfortable and irritated. Was this what the two of them had been so strange about since the portal? Jaskier isn't stupid, but he figured it had been... Witcher-y things. Things he couldn't understand as a normal man.
The irritation quickly fizzles out. He doesn't have the energy for it. But he does have energy for calmer things... like a genuine sadness. His heart growing heavy in his chest, his fingers start fiddling with the edge of the blanket on top of him.
They didn't trust him. It all hits him so suddenly. A feeling he had held off for weeks because it simply didn't make sense... or he'd rather it didn't. They did not trust him. Or Ciri didn't trust him. Why else would Geralt not have told him? Ciri must have asked him not to. Geralt wasn't exactly open, but he could not imagine a world where Geralt would purposefully keep things from him. Not when they were important. Not when they could be dangerous.
It's not so much bitterness when he answers, but the reflection of that heavy heart. His voice is soft, closing the book on his lap.]
Are you sure she wants to?
[Could he not be trusted because he was dead to her? Had she ever really known him? That lingering thought clung to his mind even now. Even though he had spent so much time with her, it never felt like it... fit. Like it was easy for her.]
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We thought this world simply prevented her from using any of it. [ His voice is firm, and underneath that, seeking an understanding. Not that he believes Jaskier would think he deliberately left him in the dark about what could be so fucking dangerous. (He still feels responsible, despite that.)
He exhales. Fuck. Every day that passes, more of his edges begin to fray, and at this point, it feels as if he's doing everything he can to keep it all from bursting at the seams. This. Jaskier, with his newfound powers, so much of Ciri that he still can't understand, and a world outside that's determined to swallow everyone up in its obsession with the Singularity's power. The truth is, Geralt has largely gone without much concern over Jaskier back on the Continent. Sometimes, of course, when Jaskier followed him on a hunt. Rare moments where unexpected danger came. But for the most part, Jaskier has always taken care of himself with little trouble. It's only now that there is an unshakable pressure, a mounting dread that whatever is coming, he'll fail to protect those most important to him. ]
I'm sure. [ There's more he's getting from Jaskier, from the way he's reacting, that he can't place his finger on. He studies his friend for a moment before letting it go. Geralt has things he's not told Jaskier, but he's never lied to him outright and now is no different. Ciri was not alone in her decision to keep silent. He has little desire to leave Jaskier believing otherwise. ] She needed time to decide how to tell you. I told her to wait until she was ready.
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Clear the air.
Geralt's exhalation is forced enough that a frown comes to Jaskier's brows. Without thinking about it, he takes Geralt's hand in his. He squeezes. He has only barely recovered and still is not quite sure what Geralt did for him. He does, however, recognize he was saved by him. Ciri and he both saved him. It would be silly to doubt the two of them after all of this -- after they have all taken care of each other -- but being left in the cold, it's easy for a mind to conjure all sorts of things.
He snorts.]
Now that, I believe. That sounds like your typical advice. [Whatever all of this is, Jaskier knows quite well he needs to speak with Ciri. Despite this new revelation. He needs her to know he doesn't blame her because, if she's anything like Geralt, she will. Even if she doesn't say it.]
I don't know what all of this is, as you well know, but it doesn't change much, either. We'll simply need to be more careful in the future. [He slides his hands away to pick at his sandwich now. It's his promise to talk to her. But... at least she's all right. He'd been fretting over it. What he could've done --]
And how are you? [He looks Geralt in the eye, reading his face.] Please, do not just say fine. Sam didn't need to tell me how far you rode. Or that...
[He silences. Or that you came for me.] Moreover, how is Roach? I hope she is being spoiled as we speak.
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He accepts the promise, wordless. He's worried for Ciri, too. Wishes he knew more, that he could do more.
Quietly, he bundles up his concerns, puts them aside. Jaskier is alive. In the end, that's the most important part. ]
What happened to finding the topic of horses unattractive? [ His eyebrow lifts. Roach is perfectly content. Grazing in her stables, treated to an apple. Couldn't be better. He'd ridden far, but. Hell, he'll ride as far as he needs to for Jaskier. That's never in doubt in his mind.
And perhaps he's avoiding the question of how he's doing, though after a second, Geralt returns to it. He is fine, physically, but he knows that's not exactly what Jaskier is asking after. Despite himself, he admits, ] I could use a drink or three.
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[Which means she's fine. It is one less thing to worry about. And, in a way, asking about Roach is asking about Geralt.
He's... well, not fine. He hadn't said fine. But he was, with that answer, stressed. To say the least.
Jaskier gives him a wry smile, biting into his sandwich. How simple is it that a bit of old company has brought his appetite back. He feels distinctly more alive than he must have been for days.] I'm fairly sure Sam would have my head if I sneaked off now, but I promise you, we will go drinking very soon. [He rubs his arm, the ghost of the pain there. Now, having been awake, having all this time to think, he can remember what it felt like. What magic tearing his body open felt like.
It's a bit harder to envy Geralt's sexy little scars now.]
I could use at least one myself. [In between one bite and the next, he decides he wants to say it. That which goes often so unsaid between them.] Thank you, Geralt.
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He sits back, devouring the rest of the sandwich. It's good, seeing Jaskier eating. Looking brighter, more alert. Talking about needing a drink. Don't they all?
His expression softens at the edges. It needn't be said. It's not about gratitude between him and Jaskier. Only the simple fact that Geralt would prefer to not have Jaskier leave this world yet. ]
Just don't do it again. [ The remark is wry. ] You aren't allowed more scars than me.
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He is still here. Through the actions of his companions.]
I would have to do a lot of fucking up to get to that point. [He laughs lightly, only holding his throat for a moment. It didn't hurt terribly, only like a muscle was pulling gently there. This time, he was not so afraid his singing would be impacted, but he certainly wouldn't be attempting for a few days more.] I just want you to know that next time you claim we aren't friends, I'm going to mention you rushing to my side all over again, like a knight to save his princess.
[It feels even better to tease him again, too.] And yes, thank you, that does make me the princess. Certainly I feel like one after being hauled here so valiantly.
[Though it goes without saying that even Jaskier has noticed that Geralt does not so much claim otherwise. Surely he has finally come to realize how fantastic and talented his traveling companion is.]
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It's been some time, actually, that Geralt has openly denied they're friends. Maybe he should start again. Tradition's sake. He doesn't right now, though he does roll his eyes. A shadow flickers beneath, easy to miss but there. The sense that Jaskier's casual teasing has touched on a deeper thread. ]
I'm not a knight.
[ You'd make a shitty one, refusing to slay dragons. He pushes the words out of his mind. Feels like lifetimes ago, that conversation on the mountain. He thinks about it sometimes. If the egg hatched. If it survived.
If the gold dragon is still out there, alone. ]
I suppose it's only fitting you're the first princess to be hauled upon an ass.
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[It's not sarcasm to him. Why not? He's seen some rather shitty knights; a particular one hacking at a poor, hungry creature immediately comes to mind. If the Witcher was knighted, he'd make a rather effective one. (A better one.)
His smile turns into a frown as he leans out to smack his arm.] Oh, shut it! I knew it was a mistake, being happy to see you. [He then hides the slight toss of his hand as a sting rolls through it. Ow.] Those were very noble donkeys, I'll have you know. All that shit and they didn't even scare off! I'd like to see one of your ponies be quite so brave.
[Now he's just making fun of him for the sake of it. It's easy to slip back into. Except the ragged scar at the corner of his eye and a soreness in his throat. Unlike the djinn's effects, this left lingering marks.]
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He's not a knight. Or anything in particular. He's just a Witcher. With an annoyance for a companion. (Friend.) ]
Hey. Roach understands when you've insulted her. [ Geralt sounds more offended on his horse's behalf than he ever does defending himself. He's passing Jaskier a cup of water nonetheless. The marks around his throat stand out starkly against Jaskier's pale skin. ] Don't whinge when she bites.
[ He makes no comment about the stiffness in some of Jaskier's movements or the roughness in his voice, just takes a seat on the mattress, moving the plate of food and book to the side to make room. Geralt can't keep stealing Sam's makeshift bed on the couch for his own rest. He'll steal Jaskier's half of the bed instead. He's quiet while he settles; quiet after he settles. Geralt's company does not often come with extended chatter. But it is company and he knows Jaskier could use some of it. ]
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[The exclamation makes him cough. Worth it. He takes a few gulps, shifting his legs under his blanket. It gives him a good way to hide any potential laughing he may do. Geralt's defense of his horse is not surprising, and yet it's always been... so fucking funny. Melitele herself would not dare insult Roach where Geralt could hear. (Only Jaskier dares, somehow.)
Jaskier throws his hands towards his friend as if to show this is exactly one way in which Jaskier is much nicer than him. He would never steal half a sick man's bed. And so why is he shifting over and making room with only a few mumbles of complaint? It. Doesn't matter.]
Don't tell me you're trying to escape Sam. [He even lifts the corner of the blanket and drops it on the Witcher's legs.] Though I imagine he must be overbearing to someone like you.
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He leans back against the pillows. Is he? No. Not escape. Just to give Sam some room. They've invaded his damn home, after all. As hospitable as Sam is, Geralt thinks it still must be a headache. Especially when Sam's got his own shit going on. Someone missing altogether. Someone Geralt still hasn't got any idea what the fuck happened to. ]
He's only that way with you. You absorb it like a crusty bread in soup.
[ The attention, Geralt means, which he isn't saying just to poke fun. Rather, it's that Sam is different with Jaskier than he is with Geralt. Because Sam was overbearing, at first. And then, surprisingly, he wasn't. Geralt is not so oblivious that he doesn't realize it's simply because the man made an effort to step back with the Witcher in particular. There's something to be said about that even if he's refusing to ruminate upon it. About how he feels. Jaskier might've sensed it regardless; Geralt would've normally left the moment Jaskier was capable of moving. Taken the bard and Ciri home. If it were anyone but Sam, he'd have never placed them in the hands of another while he was still not entirely at full strength.
But he's here. Accepting the...help. ]
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[All right, so maybe his appetite truly was beginning to return. Yet his sandwich is now gone and he's trapped against the wall with a Witcher between him and fresh brioche. A shame. So instead, he relaxes and slides down to lay out beside him. His body was still sore, but the bed was damn comfortable. At least he hadn't been forced to heal out on a bedroll somewhere.
He smiles to himself, that he can so easily pick out the words that Geralt doesn't say. Geralt has always had a habit of giving far more information in what he doesn't say than what he does: that Sam has figured out how to approach the Witcher, which Jaskier likes to think is his doing, considering he described so aptly how his friend behaves. (So Sam has a bit part in it, maybe.) And if Geralt was not at least somewhat comfortable here, he would be gone in an instant. Now that they are sure Jaskier isn't meant to expire on the spot.
Jaskier pats his chest as the Witcher breathes. (Or, is it in this moment, Geralt wants company as well? Even Jaskier can't be sure of that.)]
Maybe you ward him off with your scaaaary Witcher face. Speaking of crusty.
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He shifts over a hint for Jaskier to lay down, tucks one arm behind his head. Another day of proper sleep, he'll be back to normal. It's possible the whole thing took more out of him then he'd anticipated. This was different. His injuries were usually tangible: an ache or pain he can pinpoint. This time, he was simply worn down, all of his body sluggish.
It's funny. On occasion he thinks about that. How Sam doesn't entirely know him, and if Geralt might ward him off if he did know everything. Geralt hasn't dwelled on it, exactly, but—its a reality that exists, that's all. Perhaps it isn't important for now. And either way, he does trust Sam regardless. As rare as that is for him.
(He does, maybe, want company from an old friend, deep down in a place he'll not ever acknowledge.) ] Didn't work as well on you as I'd always wanted.
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She must be all right. Geralt would not be here otherwise. Certainly not lying in bed. Getting the Witcher to still when he wasn't meditating was hard enough.
Jaskier snorts.] I'm not so sure you wanted to scare me off. [He leaves that in the air, more of a tease than a character analysis, but Jaskier, despite his endless words and hollers and boundless energy has always been quite perceptive. The White Wolf in the corner of the pub, tucked in a bench with his two swords beside him, radiating an aura of get the fuck away from me -- a man who took a job for shit pay on what almost appeared to be mere whim, who offered him a walk back to town with no further explanation.
Who came running back from his mission because a bard had blown up.
Jaskier pinches Geralt's cheek.] Who could be afraid of this? It'd be like being afraid of a baby griffin.
[He has to be twice as annoying for being twice nearly dead. And because his heart is squeezing painfully with overwhelming affection for this Witcher. It's not the first time he's saved Jaskier's life, but, fuck -- it's a reminder of what he'll do to save it.
It has never been a joke to him, really, the thought of Geralt as a knight. Well. Outside his abysmal attitude.]
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And back to a fucking nuisance. He makes a face, swatting Jaskier's hand away. ] Fuck off.
[ He sighs. Thrice as annoying is more like it. And yet, he's still here, lingering at Jaskier's bedside when Jaskier is, for the most part, doing all right and sure as hell hasn't got a need for someone keeping an eye on him. For which he's glad. He isn't sure what he'd have done if—
Something more, something worse, had happened. If he'd been even further out in the desert, if Ciri hadn't found him in time.
He lets the silence lapse between them, or otherwise lets Jaskier fill it as the bard wishes without much commentary on his part. Only after a few minutes does he speak up again, with one thing he'd meant to tell Jaskier and hadn't had the chance to. ]
I spoke to someone who developed magic like yours. An ability out of nowhere, after leaving Thorne.
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And it will always be easy to annoy him.
For once, Jaskier settles into silence. He's exhausted, to be honest, even now. The potion had healed the arm, but it couldn't make up for days of lying prone on a bed, without eating. Without resting, even. Which he continues to do, actually. He focuses on breathing, the slow in and out of lungs expanding, deflating. The beat of his own heart. At least he can't feel it anymore. How it has quieted to the rhythm it should hold.
Jaskier opens his eyes. He didn't remember closing them.]
Did you? Who? [He turns on his side, stretching out.] Estinien did too, actually. I found him in the Horizon. I suppose I saw a bit of it, in the chaos. Turns into a bloody dragon now. Or, well. Something a bit more scale-y than... elf-y.
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Or during the chaos? He looks over, curious. Estinien, too, was it? Hm. He considers asking more, but Jaskier looks tired as fuck and his only intention had been perhaps, to let Jaskier know that he isn't alone in this strange occurrence. He lets it be. It isn't long before Jaskier's breathing begins to steady and deepen. Once he's certain Jaskier won't wake, he silently slips off the bed. The bard sleeps like a rock, anyhow.
He lingers for a second, watching. (It'd been far too fucking close. All of this.) Then he leaves, to see if he can find either Sam or Ciri. Maybe find something he can do while they've taken over Sam's home. ]