Jaskier "old-timey fuckboy" Alfred Pankratz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cointosser) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
abraxaslogs2021-10-01 09:35 pm
cointosser) wrote in abraxaslogs2021-10-01 09:35 pm
[ CLOSED ] when I'm like this, you're the one I trust
Who: Jaskier, Ciri, Geralt, eventually Sam?
When: First week of October
Where: The desert outskirts of Cadens
What: Jaskier attempts to help Ciri learn magic with disastrous results.
Warnings: Bodily injury, may move to mild body horror depending.
[With the climate they found themselves in, it only made sense for them to really embrace their new... eccentric talents. At least, that was what Jaskier tells himself, and when he tells himself it -- regarding Ciri, in particular -- it all makes sense, of course. If they are all gifted with magic, then it only makes sense to make use of it.
After all, it's free. And they need skills to make a living off of. As far as he understands, Ciri is, er, well. Like Geralt. A hunter.
Magic, hunting. It all fits together.
Okay, fine. He's terribly bored also. And he's tired of being the only one with magic around here. (He's still avoiding the whole plant thing. He prefers not to think about it, actually.]
All right, my dear. I -- well, I don't claim to know many, er, spells, but we can start on what I started on. Simply a little bird. [He, of course, adds a completely unnecessary flourish to his movements, and a bit of sparks, holding out his hand with a dove sitting on his palm.]
It's a bit hard to describe. I sort of... imitated watching it, I suppose.
[He sort of definitely wants to see Ciri try to imitate his flourish.]
When: First week of October
Where: The desert outskirts of Cadens
What: Jaskier attempts to help Ciri learn magic with disastrous results.
Warnings: Bodily injury, may move to mild body horror depending.
[With the climate they found themselves in, it only made sense for them to really embrace their new... eccentric talents. At least, that was what Jaskier tells himself, and when he tells himself it -- regarding Ciri, in particular -- it all makes sense, of course. If they are all gifted with magic, then it only makes sense to make use of it.
After all, it's free. And they need skills to make a living off of. As far as he understands, Ciri is, er, well. Like Geralt. A hunter.
Magic, hunting. It all fits together.
Okay, fine. He's terribly bored also. And he's tired of being the only one with magic around here. (He's still avoiding the whole plant thing. He prefers not to think about it, actually.]
All right, my dear. I -- well, I don't claim to know many, er, spells, but we can start on what I started on. Simply a little bird. [He, of course, adds a completely unnecessary flourish to his movements, and a bit of sparks, holding out his hand with a dove sitting on his palm.]
It's a bit hard to describe. I sort of... imitated watching it, I suppose.
[He sort of definitely wants to see Ciri try to imitate his flourish.]
no subject
Oh. Oh, of course. The Wild Hunt, too. Yes, can't do anything without them.
[You know, the mythological Wild Hunt that definitely does not exist, mostly used as a boogeyman to lure children to bed on time. The Wild Hunt was after Ciri because some Elven blooded bullshit made her the equivalent of a legendary artifact or something. Which could blow people up.
As one does.
He drops his hands suddenly with exasperation and, perhaps surprisingly, irritation.] Cirilla, the Lion Cub of Cintra, and my very dear friend, I know your biggest worry right now is not attempting to throw us back into our own plane. You have got to be fucking kidding me. How on earth could you even be thinking about that right now? [He gestures wildly, wincing when the movement hurts, but not stopping.] With all this shit happening to you? How are you even so calm? I would be losing my entire head!
[And screaming about it, and letting everyone absolutely know he was in the biggest trouble of his life. And she told Geralt about this? And that fucking beast kept it from him? (Okay, he can't blame Geralt, but he's annoyed and scared and it's easy to be annoyed with Geralt.)]
This only means we must double down on our lessons. No more birds. Or -- birds, if you'd like, but we need control first. A base level. Establishment of... of restraint and respect, on equal levels, for this power you hold.
[And his own, even if it is nothing compared to hers. It's all so reflective of himself. Hers did far more damage, but if she hadn't been able to stop it, would he have -- would she be all right? From the power those vines had exhibited? He couldn't let that happen again. Not because he was in danger. Not because he could not control them.]
no subject
What she doesn't expect is for Jaskier to... scold her?! For reassuring him that her priority is still to get them home safely??
Ciri flinches back slightly at his outburst, startled by the intensity of it. If Geralt's ears weren't already good enough to hear them whisper in this room, he'd definitely hear that. ]
Jaskier! Please, keep your voice down! [ She scrambles to catch his flailing arms by the wrists, halfway on top of his lap on the bed. He's probably not talking loudly enough for anyone outside to hear, but she's just a bit panicked and tightly-wound right now.
He asks her how she's calm. He thinks she's calm. Ciri stares at him with naked disbelief. She doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. She doesn't know how to tell him that she's fucking scared to the marrow of her bones every blessed day and that she's lived like this for years and that if she doesn't figure out how to get them back home she might not even have any of them to return to, that she's terrified she'll end up wandering alone through unfamiliar planes, running and lost forever.
Of course she's losing her entire fucking head. Only constantly.
And after all this, after everything he's been through the last couple of days, after nearly losing a limb and his livelihood, this absolutely daft blockhead of a bard still wants to practice magic with her.
Ciri lets him go. She sits back down on the side of the bed and slumps over with her face in her hands and her elbows on her knees and just. Sits there. Shoulders shaking. Laughing and crying at the same time. ]
no subject
And now their daughter, the Child of Surprise, going through all of this -- because he had to believe it, if Geralt believed it. He'd only fucking found out dragons existed, like, half a year ago. (It's been so long already.)]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, this is a lot, but I'm fine --
[He stares back at her. All at once, she folds in on herself. Away from him. Perhaps away from the world. To him, she did look calm -- because anything short of running and screaming simply did not make sense to him.]
Oh, my dear. Ciri. [He reaches for her much more easily this time, giving her a tight squeeze. So it is too much. For him, for her.] Wait, are you laughing? You sound terrible. [Oh, no. He can't tell. That's probably a bad sign. He gives her the hug of his life, the scar on his arm shifting with the squeeze of his arms. He always sees it now, at the corner of his arm, but -- well, why the fuck should one mistake stop them? He's never run from his mistakes in his life. If he gave up because of one fuck up, he'd hardly be a bard at all.] I have absolutely fuck-all idea of how to help you, but rest assured, I will not leave you to this alone. I -- none of us will, I promise.
no subject
When Jaskier scoots forward to hug her, Ciri leans sideways into him. She's reassured to feel how hard he can squeeze her despite his injury. She doesn't move to pull away. ]
...thank you.
I'm glad you're here.
[ It's a selfish thing to say. None of them should be here, and she shouldn't be glad he's where he shouldn't be, but she is, and she won't take it back. ]
no subject
To be fair, she held it all back so well.]
Are you joking? I'm SO glad you're here! That we could meet! Not that I think you would be any less fun as a child, which... I suppose, for me, you would be still.
[He presses his lips to the top of her head affectionately.] You and Geralt. This place would be awfully shit alone.
no subject
...yeah. It would.
[ But it's not. Well, not as awfully shit as it could be. Not as lonely. And Ciri knows what it's like to be all alone on a foreign world with only herself to rely on and the fear driving her forward.
It's not like that now. Despite the strangeness of their lost years, they are still--
Family. Her and Geralt and Yennefer. And, yes, Jaskier too. ]
no subject
Well. I don't know what to do with all this, and I can't imagine why on earth you decided now was the best moment to tell me, but it's good to be behind us now. Please, if you can help it, try not to hide suspiciously ancient and dangerous prophecies and your inclusion in them if you can.
[It's, maybe, sort of a joke. He's... well, calmer, sort of -- mostly, he's glad that Ciri is all right. That she understands he's here for her, despite what happened between them. That doesn't matter to him. Like Geralt, it was accidental. And how could he hold it against them? When they both did everything they could to save him?
It's almost enough to laugh over. Like father, like daughter. Two attempts to off the bard.
He releases her before it can become too emotional and, he imagines, awkward for her.] Geralt knows all of this? The full extent of it?
[Mostly because he probably knows now. But also because Jaskier would rather not partake in the hiding of things.]
no subject
But that is too heavy to say now, and Ciri suspects he understands. So she only nods, lets out a breathy noise that might be an attempt at a laugh, and scrubs the edges of her sleeves over her face. She's not wearing makeup today, at least. ]
I'll do my best. There are no others I'm aware of. And... if you have questions, I will do my best to answer where I can. [ Some things, she may not be able to speak on. She's still hesitant, and she knows Geralt is too. About their... future. About how everything might or might not still be as it should back on the Continent. But if Jaskier gets another stupid idea in his head again, she'll at least do her best to reassure him as much as feels reasonably safe.
To his question about Geralt, Ciri nods. As they pull away from one another to a comfortable distance, she rearranges herself on the edge of the bed with her closer knee tucked up beneath her again, facing him now with looser shoulders and a less frayed expression for the first time in days. ]
He knows. All of it.
[ She hesitates again, then. It's a bit of a snag she hadn't expected, how much Jaskier dislikes Yennefer right now. ]
...so does Yennefer. It's- I think it's why she stayed in Thorne.
[ Perhaps not all of it. Ciri's sure she has her own reasons (ambitions) but she knows it had certainly influenced her decision, and Geralt's decision to bring them here. She really hadn't meant to keep it from Jaskier so long on purpose, but it feels empty now to say that she'd simply... wanted to forget, wanted to get distracted, just for a little while. ]
no subject
He does not want to stress Ciri out anymore. He's already made her cry, which is a terribly blow to his chivalrous reputation, which he undoubtedly has and maintains consistently.
Jaskier nods. Geralt would certainly know now, if he was listening. Which he probably was. It was simply a thing Jaskier has put up with on his travels with the Witcher. Nothing is secret, nor sacred. Geralt's manners are akin to a mule's, and hhe is subtle about absolutely fucking nothing.
It's charming. (Maybe.)
Jaskier's gaze flicks away at the mention of Yennefer, a suddenly roiling in his stomach that leaves him uncomfortable. Oh. Oh, no. Oh, fuck. Because the mention of her reminds him that. That he'd seen her. In his visions. The Yennefer he met in the Horizon. The one that --
He clears his throat.] I see. I thought perhaps she was simply having another spat with Geralt. [He turns back to Ciri.] I'm glad we've... we've talked, Ciri. I want you to know I hold nothing against you, I promise. And I don't want to drive you to fear these things you can do. Having only met you and beginning to know you, I am sure they can be beautiful things.
no subject
That's a relief. I think I am quite tired of questions, myself. Another day, perhaps.
[ The offer is there: she's not trying to exclude him or hide anything more. They're both just tired. Jaskier understands that much.
Ciri bites back a sigh at the mention of Yennefer's spat with Geralt; her smile slips. She wants to be understanding and let them figure out whatever it is they need to figure out, but it is frustrating to watch. She can only hope that Yennefer is okay. The last time they'd seen each other, in the Horizon, Ciri hadn't even been able to ask her questions about her situation in Thorne, and can only hope she's not wasting away in a cell still. Or worse. ]
...thank you, Jaskier. [ But you have no idea what you're talking about, she doesn't quite say aloud. Just mostly. ]
Many would call you foolish, but it's kind of you to think so.
I'm just glad you're well now. I'm certain there are apothecaries in Cadens that can mix an ointment for your arm. The scar is fresh. There are ways to help it fade.
[ She should know. ]
I'll ask around tomorrow. Promise.
no subject
Oh, please. People call me foolish for a million different things. Do you really think I listen anymore? [He pats her arm, giving her a classic Jaskier smile. He prefers to think on the positive side of things... because whatever she is considering about herself, could he not also imagine of his own magic? It's not the same, and it never will be, but to him, it's as dangerous as Wild Hunts and bloody prophecies. It can still kill him just as easily.
Exhibit 1, as he draws his arm back.]
You needn't bother. [He flexes his arm, tracing the scar with his fingers.] Don't you think it's fetching? I mean, now we all match! Perhaps one may mistake it for a very fierce war scar. Maybe I fought off a wolf, or -- or an elven assassin!
no subject
Now we all match! He says it so easily. He says it because he already forgives her, because he can already move his arm again due to being magically healed, because it won't affect his playing and it doesn't disfigure him or hinder him. He is lucky; Ciri is happy that all of these things turned out to be true for Jaskier, and that any sense he may have had of how much worse it could have been has already fled him. To him, it can be a grand adventure, a new tall tale to spin for every pretty thing he's wooing who might ask him coyly where he got it.
Ciri knows he won't tell them the truth for her sake, and he'll hide the shameful thing with lies and stories, much the same way she pulls her bangs over her face and lines her eyes to distract and obscure. ]
Scars don't suit bards. And besides, you'll be singing a different tune [ no pun intended ] when you find your arm stiffening and itching and your range of movement impaired. I'll go to market, and I'll bring you something, and you'll use it. You'll still have enough left to tell your stories.
[ And it gives her something tangible to do, to help. Maybe it's selfish, her motivation equal parts desire to help Jaskier and the need to assuage her own guilt. Oh, well.
Ciri unfolds her legs from beneath her, moving to stand. ]
I think Geralt could use a hand with supper. You need your rest.
no subject
That he knew of, at least.
He tips his head.] All that sounds awful. And you. You're awfully bossy, too. [When Jaskier lifts his eyes, his brows darken a bit as he tries to read her expression. It isn't like Geralt, who he feels he knows rather well inside and out. After all this time, he better. But Ciri is... an unknown. Surely she must know more of him than he knows of her.
His smile returns.] Very well, my lady. If you insist. [To be fair, he wouldn't mind skipping all that stiffening and itching. It does not sound very enjoyable.
He wonders if she's driving herself from him already on purpose. It's not in him to force her to stay.] Of course. Thank you for coming to check on me. [He gives her a little wave.] You must know I adore the doting attention.
[I do hope you'll be all right.]
no subject
I do insist. Enjoy the doting while you can.
Once you're better, we've got work to do.
[ What that will look like, she's not sure yet. But she accepts his offer, tentatively, vulnerably. She's scared, but he's right. She must learn how to take charge of whatever the Singularity's done to her control over her own magic; Jaskier's scar will be a daily reminder, after all. ]