❂ open & closed

[thoughts]

Who: river & you!!
When: all of february
Where: nocwich and castle thorne
What: river studying magic and continuing her wily adventures! some open and closed starters below
Warnings: possible mentions of human experimentation, torture, and child abuse

[ ooc: as always, please take a look at river's opt-in/opt-out post to let me know how you'd like me to handle her psychic powers around your character, especially as her mental state becomes more volatile. hover over any chinese text for a translation. feel free to reach out to me at ragemarshmallow on discord if you have questions or ideas for a different starter! ♡ ]

Comments

hopefully this isn't too late :)

[ordinar]

[After Istredd has concluded the lesson, Wilhelm sticks around — ostensibly to continue practicing on his own, but mostly because he notices River lurking at the back of the room like a waifish ghost. At the back of his thoughts lingers the question of how she's settling in here. It had taken him a long time to stop feeling like he was completely out of place in this world. Offering her a smile, he approaches.]

Hey, River. You're studying magic now?

[Well, obviously. But he never claimed to be a dazzling conversationalist...

Today's lesson focused on elemental spells. While Wilhelm prefers his magic, the power that now feels as much a part of him as his pulse, his teacher thought it would be a good idea to study academic magic as a means of finetuning his control and precision. Academic magic relies on reciting the incantation exactly right and with the proper amount of conviction. It's completely different from the magic the Singularity has imbued him with, but at the same time they're like diverging branches of the same tree.]

i am the latest ever, pls feel free to ignore ;;;;

[thoughts]

[ it's an apt observation; river has been haunting istredd's classroom for several days now, always lurking in the back to watch everything before slipping away as soon class ends. of course she's seen wilhelm here too, but she hasn't approached him yet even though istredd encouraged her to make friends. it's all very new and she's taking things pretty slowly to try to find her feet in this world.

so she's grateful when he comes up to her first and smiles warmly. ]

I want to try. She memorized the periodic table of elements in chemistry but there were no fancy words to tell them what to do.

shh it's ok

[ordinar]

[He's just...going to let her somewhat strange comment fly past. (Shit, but it's been a while since he's thought about the periodic table of elements.)]

Yeah, well, the cool thing is that anyone can do magic. Like, I'm from a world where there's no magic at all, so I didn't think I could. I felt like... [His arms fold together, and his shoulders pull into a shrug.] I wasn't allowed, you know?. But I was wrong.

[It's his to take as much as anyone else's. And hers to take too.]

[thoughts]

It still feels theoretical.

[ but it's helpful to hear him say it, as someone else from a world without magic. there's just so much to learn. river knows wilhelm has been here much longer than her; she eyes him curiously and wonders how much he knows by now, how many classes he's been taking and for how long.

instead, she asks: ]

What does it feel like, for you?

[ whether that's using magic or sitting here learning about it, she's curious what it's been like for him. she's struggling, but maybe he's figured it out already. ]

[ ooc: i'm so sorry this is so late!! i'm catching up after being out last month, pls feel free to ignore! ♡ ]

[ordinar]

Magic?

[He shifts on his feet, putting his words in order.]

It depends... With academic magic— [He gestures to the classroom around them to indicate the type of magic they'd been practicing.] —the kind where you have to say a spell, it feels like...when I say the words, something is moving through me.

[Faint like a pulse, but undeniably there.]

I have my own magic too. I mean, I got it here, but I don't have to say anything to use it. It's more like... [He scratches at his head.] I have to reach inside and draw it out.

[thoughts]

[ like something is moving through him... that kind of makes sense, for what jack had said during the winter festivals about magic being a form of communication - channeling energy through speech to create magical effects.

this is the first time she's hearing of magic someone received after arriving that doesn't come out of a book, though. river blinks at him and tilts her head. ]

It's yours? Where does it come from? How did it get inside of you?

[ is that an awkward way to ask that question? she's just not sure she understands. how did it become his if he didn't learn it? ]

[ordinar]

[He has to stifle a laugh at the phrasing. Sorry, you can't just ask a teenage boy how something got inside of him.]

The Singularity, I guess. It's the source of all magic. I don't know how I got it, or why... All of a sudden, I was lighting things on fire totally by accident.

[To demonstrate, he takes a slow, deliberate breath, and on the exhale — a small flame crackles to life in his palm. He holds it up for River to see.]

I had a hard time controlling it at first. I couldn't always make it spark when I wanted, or I couldn't snuff it out when I was done. But I practiced a lot and got better at it.

[thoughts]

[ when the little burst of fire appears in his hand, river's eyes light up just as brightly with awe. she can't help reaching toward it with one hand, not quite the proverbial child touching an open flame but a slightly more cautious curiosity as she hovers just close enough to feel the heat emanating from it like any other nature fire. ]

Were you scared? A fire that rages inside of you. Are you afraid of burning?

[ himself or others - when she looks up at him again, it might feel like she's looking through him, almost as though she can see the answer there but wants to hear him say it. ]

[ordinar]

[His expression shifts, the shadow of a grimace emerging. Wilhelm has come a long way in controlling his fire, and managing the guilt his mistakes have left him with, but it remains a heavy subject for him, hard to drag out. Something about the way River looks at him, like he's a book with all his pages fluttering open, demands an honest answer. If he can help her have an easier time with magic, then...he feels that he owes it to her. And to his past self, too.]

Not anymore...

[Turning his palm over, he lets the flame slide like liquid into his other hand.]

I used to be scared. [His eyes lower to the fire, its light dancing in his dark pupils.] Because I had trouble controlling it, I...hurt a lot of people once. It was an accident, but I felt responsible. So...I thought it would be best if I just never practiced magic again.

[He looks to her again.]

The thing is, it was still there inside me. The longer I tried to keep it shut away, the harder it got. It was like...it needed to come out.

[thoughts]

[ she sees the flicker of the fire in his memories, feels the weight of the guilt that lingers in his heart, and watches the flame move smoothly between his hands as she wonders about that. a flame that rages inside of him, and a spark that didn't want to go out.

as mystical as it all is, river seems thoroughly enchanted, her eyes warm and a small smile on her face as she stares at his hands. ]

You worked hard. Made it yours, set it free. Fire can destroy, but it's necessary for things to grow.

[ maybe it helped him grow too. her smile widens as she looks to his eyes again to find the light in them. ]

That's lìhàile, Wilhelm - very cool. Does it feel better now?

[ordinar]

[There was a time when just talking about it would have sent a stomach-churning, chest-tightening wave of anxiety through him. Terrified that what he'd done would come to light, he was tight-lipped about the incident in Nocwich and tight-fisted about his guilt. Now, he grins back at River. After struggling for so long to get this right, her validation, so small and simple a thing, feels like a form of absolution.]

Yeah, it feels much better.

[And because she seems enchanted by his fire, he floats it out of his hand, dancing it around her in slow, loose circles.]

You'll get there too someday, River.

a good place to wrap? c:

[thoughts]

[ when the fire moves toward her, river freezes in place, but there isn't a drop of fear in her eyes. she looks amazed, her fingers twitching at her side like she really might want to reach out and touch it after all. to come from a place of guilt and shame to this level of control - fēicháng kù. ]

I hope so.

[ she doesn't know if the chaos inside of her comes from the singularity or if there's anything new from being in abraxas. but if wilhelm worked hard to improve himself and get past the shadows of his past, she can try too. ]

Will you show me what else you've learned?

[ she'll listen to anything he'd like to share, now or in the future. her studies have just begun; it'll be nice to have an upperclassman to learn from. ]