abraxaslogs | Why can't I get over?

"It wasn't easy to come up with spells that would make a wooden wheel work the way Kyle described for the typical kind. This rubber." Istredd has nothing to compare that to, but considering the bikes work well and everyone else is comfortable on them, he must have made it well enough. So the shaky aspect is probably something else. Kyle has been doing physical upkeep but they are still all learning.

"No, I was just going to make my post-class notes." Istredd keeps extensive notes on everything he does. It is important for him to know the progress of his students and he does that best when there is a list involved. Not that he ever forgets, but for posterity.

"It could be I'm very bad at it, but something does feel loose." It has been used frequently lately as more people are checking it out or using them.

The emphasis on the word rubber results in a soft sound of amusement from him as he kneels down to get a closer look at the bike. Wheels weren't exactly antiqued but they were certainly the cheaper option than repulson tech. Rubber being used for wheels had come as a surprise to him to - but what about this world didn't? It wasn't like there were droids around to use the rubber for. "I doubt it has anything to do with your skill."

Not that Istredd needed the words of subtle praise from him. Cassian knows that if tasked with trying to make rubber he certainly wouldn't have gone the route of magic simply because he didn't have the first clue where to start. Not when it seemed that there was nothing remotely close to it in raw material in Thorne, let alone Abraxas.

Each bolt and screw is examined, giving any loose ones more attention. He works in silence for a few moments before another thought tangentially related to Istredd's classes comes to mind. "River is one of your students, right?"

Istredd holds the bike steady so Cassian can take a look at it. "I haven't fallen off it since that first day, so, progress." He smiles wryly since Istredd is capable of making fun of himself. It is somewhat funny that Kyle set up a situation where many otherwise serious individuals end up crashing to the floor because they've never experienced a bicycle, something children use on earth.

"Yes, she's very bright. I think she'll do well at everything once she adjusts." Istredd can already tell that River is used to being the best or excelling in every possible way, and he understands that, being something of an overachiever himself. This all may come a little slower than she wants, but her mind in particular requires a great deal of work to settle and protect.

She'll eventually surpass what he teaches on average and go up the ladder, but when it comes to the mind, he is possibly the best she could find. "Why do you ask?"

"See? Not a skill issue." The wryness is met with a good natured lilt.

He listens quietly to Istredd recount River's progress, finally coming across a particularly stubborn screw that refuses to be tightened. As he unscrews it again to remove it, he motions to his bag. "Hand me the cloth in there?"

When he's finally got it in hand he finally answers the scholar. "I met her when she first arrived. I worry about her." His answer doesn't allude to the time that he's spent with her since or what she really means to him, but there's an undertone of tenderness to the way he says it that might give that impression.

Istredd hands him the cloth, not really knowing what he's doing but it's clearly on the right track. He isn't very technologically savvy and while this would be the very bare basic concept of technology, Istredd is from a very old sphere. Kyle had to explain to him how bikes worked before he was able to do the spells because of that.

"So do I." Understatement. Istredd was one of the people who took care of her on the island when she was having struggles with the ghosts, and he convinced her to go back to Thorne before it got worse. She's one of the few people who understood what he was mentally going through since he doesn't share how mental trauma can exist in a space and trigger someone.

"She's a powerful untrained psychic, it's a very dangerous thing to be without help." Istredd worries about what she had to go through before coming here; clearly someone did not help her, they made it worse. Her mind is fractured. He's been working on helping her strengthen it. "I'm doing what I can but it's a process."

Cassian has no doubt in his mind that if Istredd wanted to understand technology - even something like a bike - would be easy for him to grasp. Putting together a bike is similar enough to learning a spell from a book. There were just more parts. He's probably simplifying it, but it's as close to a metaphor as he can manage.

His brow furrows some as he sits himself on the ground in order to clean the screw. "A psychic?" It's not a phrase he's heard used before, but he figures he can draw broad strokes about what it could possibly mean based on what he's seen and knows. Then again, he doesn't have a problem asking questions to clarify when he doesn't know as much as another. "What is that?"

Istredd is intrigued by greater technology than what he's used to, having listened intently when anyone ever brings it up. He also reads the books placed within his library that reference futuristic situations with great curiosity. It's not something that comes naturally to him, but he probably would absolutely die for some advancements that he can't fathom. He likes spaceships in particular; exploring the galaxy would be fascinating.

"Someone with psionic magic. It's mind magic. Telepathy, telekinesis. The ability to use your mind for specific abilities. It's not common in my sphere, I was one of the rare people who specialized in it." Istredd's work primarily in the Brotherhood was on the research chapter and he was given the leeway to do that as his job. But it was always expected by his mentor that he would return to them some day and use his abilities to their advantage. It didn't matter he hated Stregobor and the rest of them; the mages always went home eventually. It was true, until it all burned down.

"Stregobor, my teacher, took a great deal of time to teach the use of it. She never had that." From what he could tell, she was making it up as she went along, completely vulnerable to the world around her. "She also has a high amount of empathy, she was able to absorb the psychic damage of the Pit, not everyone can feel that when it lingers in the space." Istredd does but he has walls in place, he has absolute control.

"We're training."

Cassian hadn't forgotten the interest he'd seen peek through Istredd during the welcome party. Nor had he forgotten his word that he'd take Istredd on a ship in the Horizon if he ever made it there. One of those things had since been accomplished. But it was his reluctance to spend more time in the Horizon that stopped him.

All of the words that Istredd lists off sounds like things he's heard from fairy tales, from ages gone by. But this wasn't his galaxy which meant getting used to things that sounded impossible like magic and sentient rocks that had tempers.

"I was wondering what happened when we were there." Now he had an answer. He had spent the night awake with her, telling her stories about his galaxy and asking her to tell him ones from hers. It had resulted in a sleepless night, but that wasn't new to him in the least. And while this certainly helped fill in some of the blanks for him, he still doesn't understand. Not fully. Not enough to help her himself. The fact stings what little ego he has.

But there's comfort in knowing that there are others looking out for her who do know. He nods.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" He knows where his talents lie. So does Istredd because he's seen his weak attempts at what feel like the equivalent of parlor tricks.

"Yes, it is very difficult. I felt it too, but I have protections. Imagine that she could literally experience the pain and fear of those who died there. I already knew of it, having been there, but she was not prepared." Istredd had known immediately upon seeing her having a panic attack what was happening. She agreed to leave after his recommendation, because there was no way she could help them with that happening at the same time.

Istredd went through the Pit on his own, and it was a relief that he had no magic at the time. He did not have to actively battle his own pain and those of others around him, it would certainly make him insane for a time. He did experience a type of madness after healing two people down there, taking their illness onto himself, but his mind was strong, and not strong enough. River is so young. He would give anything to take that away from her.

"You can be there for her." Istredd understands where Cassian is coming from. It is a terrible thing, being unable to help someone you care for. "Be her friend, be her port in the storm. She will thrive with people to hold onto."

News that Istredd had been one of the Summoned in the Pit makes him look up from his cleaning as concern for both he and River forms in the deep furrow between his brow. He'd only seen the aftermath of what had happened there both around them and on the people he had encountered. And while he tells himself that becoming attached to those here is a bad idea (this isn't his world, these aren't the people that need him the most), it stirs a desire in him to ensure that that doesn't happen again all the same.

But the part of him that understands, wills this situation to be temporary, pulls him back to reality. All the same he holds Istredd's gaze before nodding, as he begins to screw the screw back into place.

"I appreciate you teaching her. And looking out for her too." He's dubious about magic and all that comes with it - but he can't deny that if it exists here then having people who know how to wield it is just as important. "It explains why she knows things about me I haven't told her."

Or anyone for that matter.

Istredd feels that he mostly has put the Pit behind him, thanks to their visit to the island and the successful burning of it to the ground. He doubts he'll ever be entirely over it, like many of the others, there are permanent scars on their psyche from the experience. They were triggered by being there but it did give some closure. River going meant she was experiencing far too much pain, and none of it hers, so she couldn't put it anywhere.

"For the record, it's unintentional for her. She's too open, she doesn't know how to close others out, and people can think quite loudly at times." Istredd has intense walls to keep other people's thoughts from getting to him, not only the other way around. He and River can understand one another in a way not many can, and there is something that feels good about that, despite it being unfortunate for her.

"I suppose this means you've taken her under your wing too, as you care so much." Istredd studies him thoughtfully, crossing his arms. Cassian isn't the only person concerned for her, but that can be a good thing. River needs all the help she can get. "I think she doesn't want to be different, so treat her as you would anyone."

Even before knowing all of this - her powers and the challenges that she had with them - he had thought she had so much strength for trying to stay there and help as long as she did. That River's empathy and feeling everything she felt hadn't been intentional sparks admiration. But it also sparks a deep sorrow that she has to feel all of it so deeply that she can't find peace at the same time.

She was smart. He knows even without being in the lessons that she'd learn quickly. He just hoped that it was soon so that she could take her power into her own hands.

"I think it'd be better to say that we're "partners in crime," he offers with a nearly bemused air to his voice. "We're equal." He would never think for a moment that he was in a place to guide another in that way. Not in the way that Yennefer and Istredd were to River. He would do as he always did: watching from the shadows, keeping an eye on things in whatever way he could. All the same, it's his part of their silent agreement. And for the first time since arriving here, there's comfort in that.

With the screw sufficiently cleaned he begins to tighten it back into the bike frame. It doesn't take long and when he's done he straightens up, motioning for Istredd to climb back on. "Ready to try again?"

"As someone who greatly appreciates my own, I think that would be very good for her." He is assuming it's not the same way that he and Lucifer are, but before they were anything else, they were good friends who relied on each other. Friendship can keep people sane through the worst of times, and that is something that River could use more of. He can tell she hasn't had the sort of support she really should have, all this time.

Istredd very gingerly gets on the bike. It doesn't look entirely comfortable for him, he is taller than most people who use it, but he needs to know how to use it to improve it. "Thank you. Don't laugh if I fall." He jokes, and takes off.

Why can't I get over?

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i think we can wind down? 💕

we can wrap here!