EVENT #18: EMERGENCE - IC EVENT LOG

[abraxasmods]

Event #18 - Emergence

OOC Plotting Post ⦁ Pre-Event Info ⦁ Setting Descriptions

Whether voluntary or by force, you find yourself transported to the Singularity's crater. There probably aren't many resistors - officials have taken great pains to convince you to come voluntarily, reserving force as a last resort - but it's clear that everyone is required for this to work. It takes multiple mages to stabilize the portal, but you make it there in one piece. If you cooperate, you'll be asked to walk towards the ancient relic. If you resisted, you might be forced to do so while restrained. Regardless, a heavy fog soon descends around the area, obscuring you and your vision.

If you have thoughts of turning back, it's too late: for some of you, the second you step across the threshold, a force pulls at your chest and absorbs your psyche at once. For others, a mystical call beckons you to walk a little further before the same effect takes hold. And for a rare few, the call brings you to the Singularity itself, where you're compelled to touch it - and are subsequently swallowed up like the others.

The Horizon doesn't greet you like you might expect. Instead, something far stranger awaits.

Please communicate with your fellow players as needed! We also recommend discussing with us if you plan on a major environmental upheaval. As a rule of thumb, you should avoid changes to the landscape that will significantly alter the established map.

We've also posted comment sections for WORLDBUILDING and HANDWAVED submissions. Instructions can be found at the respective links.

Year 20,879

When you open your eyes, it feels like you've only blinked. If your body has transformed or you're someplace that shouldn't exist, it doesn't strike you as odd. You were always here. Everything around you was always here, and your physical alterations and new abilities - while perhaps not originally there - have been a part of you for a long, long time.

The world of Abraxas isn't completely foreign. Familiar territories remain, as well as the familiar faces of those with long lifespans. But a lot has changed in 800 years, too, especially where the Gods are concerned. Alongside the Old Gods of the Ancient Pantheon and the Cardinal Gods of the New Order, a third class of deities formed from you and your fellow Summoned: the Ecesis Gods of the Iterum Pantheon.

Politics, People, & Gods

Abraxas's political landscape remains complex, with continued tensions over land, worship, resources, and power. Nonetheless, since the Free Cities is no longer intent on destroying the Singularity, conflict over the ancient relic has lessened. All territories agree that the Godlands - and the Singularity - belong to the Gods themselves.

Beliefs and Gods

The active presence of the Summoned confirms the existence of the Gods. As a result, most Abraxans turn to the Summoned and other Gods for aid or protection. Extreme reverence exists in certain areas, especially on the Isle of the Lost and in parts of Solvunn. In other places, though, the Gods are merely acknowledged as a facet of life - a force that helps or hinders depending on temperament and should be respected, much like the sea. The Gods play a crucial role, sure, but so do the rain and stars. This is particularly true in the Feywilds, the Nether, and the Free Cities.

Small pockets of non-believers actively denounce the Gods. They claim the Summoned should be wiped from the world and the Singularity destroyed to prevent future invasions. Labeled dangerous heretics by Thorne and Solvunn, and "regressives" by the Free Cities - whose scientists and philosophers liken such thinking to be as foolish as declaring the sun unworthy or the earth to be flat - these people are shunned from society. In Solvunn, the consequences are more severe: heretics are exiled to the Barren, where they are subsumed by the desert, the Maw, or whichever Gods may punish them.

At the other end, some sects revere the Godlands so much that they believe feeding themselves to the relic will enhance Abraxas' good fortune for generations to come. Such cults are quite rare, but there are reports of mortals throwing themselves into the Singularity's crater and disintegrating as a gesture of their devotion to the divine.

International Relations

Due to the combined change in their priorities, Thorne and the Free Cities are less at odds. The Free Cities believes in protecting the Singularity; Thorne no longer seeks to control it. Nonetheless, mistrust flares on occasion.

While things are peaceful during these three months and have been for a few decades, Abraxas hasn't found a cure for war in the Gods. Conflict has broken out in the past and will again. Eyes are on the Nether as it grows in power, and who knows how long Thorne will be content with its losses? Will they convince the Velan Republic to reunite and turn against the Free Cities? For now, though, the territories have found their stride and appear more interested in progress than fighting.

Magic & The Singularity

Magic is relatively unchanged and is a vital part of Abraxan life. The small kingdom of Thorne continues to practice Academic Magic. Meanwhile, Wild Magic plays the same important role in the Velan Republic (formally Nott). Meanwhile, the Free Cities has developed New Magic further. The goal of decoupling magic from technology is less of a focus. Instead, researchers are eager to find new ways to fuse magic and innovation, including aspects of the Gods. Portable shrines, for example, are popular with traveling merchants.

High Magic no longer exists as a specific school of magic now that offerings, pacts, and requests to the Gods are a part of everyday life across Abraxas. Solvunn has returned to its roots, using the ancient Academic Magic practiced by the Lunae for standard tasks while turning to the Gods for greater blessings.

The Singularity has been relatively stable for the past two or three centuries. While occasional disturbances rumble, for the most part, the presence of the Summoned has strengthened it, alleviating its displeasure and ensuring that Abraxas - and possibly the universe itself - continues to exist. Indeed, academic writings from Thorne and the Free Cities across time suggest that the Singularity's devouring of the world has considerably slowed. It is now as much of a threat as the eventual collapse of the sun, something that is bound to occur but not for eons.

Of course, this could quickly change if the Summoned or any other Gods provoke the Singularity by rejecting its connection or denying its magic...so all should take care not to upset the nature of things.

Old World, New World

The map of Abraxas has undergone some notable shifts, although many names and places are the same.

Setting descriptions are HERE for your reference.

Mechapolis, the Witchwood, and the Barren/the Maw contain prompts related to the event itself. Information about those areas can be found under "Exploring the Land" in the section The World as the Divine (Month 1-2).

Month 1-2: Submersion

What do you last remember? Well, that depends. You might recall most things perfectly clearly. You might have new memories that don't feel new at all. Or, you might only remember the most recent year or two. Regardless, there is something missing: an important face, a handful of key events...maybe you don't remember having ever lived anywhere except Abraxas. You might find this unsettling, or you might accept it as just the way things are.

You've transcended those old memories, anyhow. You feel a little distant from the person you were centuries ago, and you most likely look different, too. Perhaps you've sprouted giant wings, become a formless void, or you're now a shapeshifter with no permanent appearance. You've gained a substantial amount of power and influence, the type that people of this world attribute to the Gods.

The first half is a more sandbox-like environment designed for scenarios that emphasize CR and personal character moments. Active conflict between the emergent reality and the world will not arise until the second half.

The World as the Divine

The mortals have bestowed you with a title and possibly a new alias. Do you know your mortal name anymore? Some of you might've taken on a new identity, or you might have held very tightly onto who you were. Regardless, your abilities have grown. Your new powers and appearance are as unique as your dominion, influenced by your interests, subconscious desires, or personal relationships.

While in your full God form, you'll move through the world unperceived. Only when you're sought by a mortal - followers, believers, cultists - can you consciously make your complete divine presence known. To be seen freely by all, you'll have to take on a less overwhelming shape to the mortal gaze. Those who have met the Old Gods or Cardinal Gods in the past finally understand why they seldom reveal their true selves, often arriving in hazy visions or speaking through animals.

Exploring the Land

◎ The Witchwood

As the Summoned continued to ascend, their power began to coalesce, creating a new ecosystem never seen before. The dense woods, originally a temperate climate, warmed and grew into a thriving jungle. The air is humid and heavy with magic, the sky locked into an eternal sunset. Reds and oranges filter through the thick canopy. Birdcall and animal cries echo throughout the jungle. Trees and rocks seemingly move at night, meaning the Witchwood is impossible to map. Foolhardy souls who venture too deep are rarely seen again - unless divine intervention prevents a tragic fate from befalling them. Perhaps one of those intervening Gods is you?

The most dangerous beasts in the Witchwood are the demigod spawns. Creatures born from the Summoned, demigods are powerful enough to affect the world around them should they ever leave the magic-encased forest. See Impact & Consequences for more details on the demigods and how, as the Summoned, you can help maintain Abraxas' ecosystem.

◎ Mechapolis

Heartwood Syndrome persisted in Fomalhaut long after the quarantined population died out. The port city stood as a monument to loss for nearly a century until about 200 years in when the Summoned gained notable influence as Gods. This resulted in a slow but steady acceptance of the Singularity's power as a positive force for potential advancement. New Magic boomed, leading to increased sophistication in technology and the refinement of automatons.

Originally designed to clear and guard Fomalhaut, they were eventually used to rebuild it. Fomalhaut became known as the City of Machines and was renamed Mechapolis. Although humans are barred from entering for safety, the automatons gather soil and air samples for study and perform fishing duties. The clockworks require routine maintenance and must return to a hub city or outpost for recalibration. Clockwork birds are used to communicate with Mechapolis. They can broadcast through the Free Cities's primitive "radio" towers.

You can enhance clockwork performance, boosting the towers or providing additional energy to the automatons. Scientists often have "rituals" when performing maintenance or experiments to earn the Gods' favor, hoping this will prevent their inventions from breaking down.

◎ The Barren/The Badlands

Once contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities, the Badlands was split into two by a large ravine shortly after Thorne retreated to Hayle. With neither side able to breach the gap, Solvunn naturally laid claim to the western half while the Free Cities retained its eastern half. On the eastern side, the chasm swallowed several well-known bandit camps and the presence of a new entity further drove them away. Bandits now occupy the mountains northeast of Aquila. Due to the entity's threat, the Free Cities increased its military presence in the Badlands to keep careless or foolish travelers from straying too far.

Meanwhile, Solvunn has named its portion of the wasteland the Barren and sought the Gods' assistance to form an enchanted forest. Those who enter are lost forever. Meant for more than just protection, the forest and the Barren serve as a place of exile. Heretics are taken into the woods and left to wander towards the Barren's harsh desert. There, they will face the elements, be devoured by the waiting Maw...or encounter a God.

As a God, you can lead the exiles to their salvation or doom, but choose carefully: the Maw is hungry and must be fed. These exiles want you dead. They don't care for you, and should their lack of faith spread, they might revive attempts to destroy the Singularity - and with it, your home. Is it so wrong to leave them to their fate? On the other hand, saving them might convert them by demonstrating your kindness.

◎ The Maw

The Maw lurks beneath the chasm dividing the Badlands. Named for its gaping jaws, the Maw waits at the widest part of a jagged canyon, mouth open and salivating in the desert heat. Rows and rows of teeth as tall as a man spiral downward into a bloodshot throat. When sated, it retreats deep into the gully, barely visible aside from the shine of a tooth. When hungry, it draws closer to the surface. Hot and heavy winds often carry the putrid scent of its half-digested meals.

Solvunn is not the only territory that uses the Maw. The Free Cities will occasionally march criminals and bandits in that direction, as well, tossing them into the gaping mouth, although this method of execution is much rarer. Desperate exiles from Solvunn will try to cross the chasm despite the danger. None ever make it - at least, not without divine intervention.

Horizon, "Death," and Dormancy

Your domain in the Horizon is no longer constrained by size. How it's changed depends on you. The more detached from your mortality, the more likely it'll have surrealist elements: bizarre statues, physics-defying architecture, odd visual or psychological effects. The Horizon feels like home to all Gods, although you ought to take care not to heed its call beyond reason. Shutting yourself off from the physical world can result in unintended consequences...but completely refusing to enter the Horizon will do the same.

Additionally, Gods are beyond true death, but that doesn't mean you can act with impunity. Engaging in an exhaustive battle with other Gods can weaken you into dormancy. In this state, you will enter an ethereal void inside the Singularity. As you heal, you'll slowly be able to return to your Horizon domain and then the physical world once more. Depending on the extent of the damage, this process could take anywhere from months to decades. For instance, losing your head could take a few months, total dismemberment might take a year, and being vaporized into atoms can take a few decades.

Mortals cannot achieve this level of damage, even if they seemingly "succeed" in striking true. Only a God can weaken another God into dormancy. If a mortal removes your head, you can merely pick it up and put it back on.

Impact & Consequences

In the early years of your ascension, you might've wondered why the existing Gods seemingly intervened so little. Why did they not demonstrate their powers more blatantly over the thousands of years? Is it apathy? A desire to watch rather than act? As you come into your abilities, you realize that the Singularity and the universe are significantly more delicate than you thought. You begin to understand why the Gods have behaved the way they do.

Of course, whether you care to keep the world (and yourself) in balance is another story, but to be sure, some of the other Gods and the Summoned do - and you may have to defend your choices.

The equilibrium mechanic is described in OOC terms HERE. The Singularity and a character's ascension will not inherently sway them one way or the other. Any temptations will result from individual personality and development.

Instability Effects

To maintain the universe's equilibrium, you need to be cautious of when and how you interfere when using your status to alter the state of the world. Conversely, you'll also need to take care not to withdraw entirely. Several Gods have undergone periods of instability, though others haven't. Which category you fall under is up to you. It depends on who you are, your experiences, and your desires.

◎ Should you refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE your Godhood or enter the Horizon, you'll find yourself losing time. You may forget how you got from one place to another, or names you knew yesterday slip your mind. Lapses in memory or time can be temporary or permanent, but one thing they are is certainly confusing. With magic building inside you and nowhere for it to go, your power will begin to spill over, causing the Singularity to exhibit bursts of power that spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

◎ Should you give into the temptation to OVERINDULGE your Godhood or retreat to the Horizon for excessive periods, you'll lose more of yourself and your history. You may make decisions that feel unlike you, forget larger chunks of old memories, or struggle to distinguish what's real. Unrestrained use of magic will cause you to absorb yet more power, causing the Singularity to lose power in brief spurts, which can spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

These effects can be halted or even reversed in some cases. You might need someone's help to bring you back or convince you there's another way, or maybe you're the one seeking others out to assist. What you do soon understand is that your ability to manage your powers and stabilize your connection to the Horizon directly affects the Singularity and Abraxas...something that may have been true the moment you were summoned.

Demigod Spawns

Under the red haze of the Witchwood, monstrous creatures known as demigods or spawns emerge from crimson waterfalls and claw their out through the mossy soil. Born out of instabilities caused by careless actions from all Gods, they're usually contained to the Witchwood. For the most part, the older Gods - and the Summoned, if they choose - keep the demigods from leaving. However, now and again, one or two might escape, damaging towns, destroying villages, or causing ecological destruction in ways that are similar to natural disasters.

Demigods are not sentient. How they look can vary, but their appearances are often corrupted and disturbing: twisted animals, amorphous blobs, or alien-like parasites. They may resemble a monster you recognize from home.

Defeating one is possible but a challenge even for the Gods. Most crucially, you cannot kill your own spawn. Another God must deliver the killing blow, so working together is imperative. Should too many demigod spawns be allowed to invade the Witchwood, they will overwhelm and disrupt the Singularity further. Culling them is the only way to maintain stability.

You can submit demigod spawns you create to the WORLDBUILDING section if you want. Similar to using character powers, just keep the scale of destruction at a reasonable level.

Hearing Echoes

Echoes are a form of prayer that resonates through your connection with the Singularity. Solvunn has dedicated a monument to where the "First Echo" was heard, though the accuracy of this is debatable. Like the Network, you can hear an Echo regardless of where you are and can shut them out with concentration. However, your ties to Godhood may compel you to listen every so often. Mortals can entreat you through more formal methods (rituals, offerings, seasonal ceremonies) or in a moment of duress or desperation. They may seek you specifically or call to any God who will listen.

You can answer or ignore these cries for help as you like, but your choices carry consequences. Answer too many too eagerly, and your increased interference in mortal lives can upset the world's equilibrium - and the Singularity. Ignore your impact on the world, and your refusal to accept your ascension will equally destabilize the land as prayers go unheard.

Interacting with Other Gods

The Old Gods and the Cardinal Gods are an equal part of this world. For the most part, you coexist peacefully, though personal pacts and tensions can play a role. Each of you is aware of the impact of your actions on the Singularity: extreme displays of power are reserved for substantial transgressions, considering the price it carries.

Further, the older Gods have also walked the earth for centuries before you came. To them, you're still young, and rising against one of them won't end well for you. Nonetheless, many older Gods are more interested in giving advice or guiding you, ensuring the health of the Singularity and the universe so as not to doom all of you - Gods and mortals alike - to the void.

You can REQUEST AN INTERACTION with a God. Interactions will be brief but informative.

You will not be able to request a specific God. For logistical reasons, we have curated the list of Gods available ahead of time. However, we'll do our best to pick one from the pool that suits the purpose of your request.

Month 3: Awakening

Over the past 2 months, you've existed in the emergent reality without question. As you enter the third month, however, everything you've known over the past many centuries begins to shift. You might decide to investigate further, wondering if there's more out there that you aren't seeing. Alternatively, you might choose to ignore it, believing that your awakening is damaging the world and your life.

Catalysts

A catalyst can occur at any time through any circumstance. Do you see a familiar face you've forgotten in the eyes of a stranger? Do you recall a moment in your past while watching the mortals? Has a friend approached you specifically to try and remind you of the things you've forgotten?

With each memory returned you'll gain another piece of yourself. Depending on how much you've lost and how hard you'll cling to this reality, the effect may be clarifying or it might cause you distress and confusion. You might begin to encounter temporal cracks: buildings or areas that normally don't exist will flicker in and out of existence, or your reflection will briefly show an image of you from before your transformations took hold.

If you allow yourself to doubt your abilities or divinity, you might have trouble controlling your powers. If you've made alterations to your Horizon domain, it might start to revert to its original design.

These cracks are difficult to ignore, but if you bury your head, you can make them disappear - briefly, at least.

Shattered Skies

The effects go beyond the individual. As more of you and your fellow Gods reawaken, the sky also begins to form cracks that spread like broken glass. Through the fractures, you glimpse flashes of lightning and a swirling fog. The fissures only grow larger.

Soon, you realize you can see the Singularity itself, reflected upside-down in the crater. Disconcerting though it is, it may serve as proof that something is very wrong. Of course, you can also refuse to acknowledge this disturbance, closing your eyes to the crumbling sky. Doing so will let you remain unaware to the very end, but your friends who are seeking the truth might find your denial distressing.

The sky won't hold, though. Eventually, it does shatter completely - and you awaken abruptly, your body and others scattered several feet away from the Singularity's crater as if you were physically thrown out. The fog begins to dissipate. The lightning has stopped, the unrelenting storms fading across Abraxas. Whatever you went through, it seems to have done exactly what the territories hoped: stabilize the Singularity.

Characters will be returned home afterward. They will be thanked for their assistance regardless of if they cooperated.

Resistors will not face any consequences, as long as they don't cause excessive trouble upon their return. Officials will issue an apology for the heavy-handed action, stating that they saw no other way to keep the world safe. With the portals and weather returning to normal, it does seem to have worked...even if characters may not find the method agreeable.

---

Comments

𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝟑

[beautifullies]

𝐶𝑎𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑦𝑠𝑡 ϟ 𝐽𝑜𝑛 𝑆𝑛𝑜𝑤

[beautifullies]

There's something in the air, something that has made even the normally peaceful Claire feel on edge. She's gone from pacing her woods to wandering Winterfell, because there she's at least connected to her husband when he's away. She's anticipating his return, pacing the great hall when she finally senses him and finally, she lets some of her tension melt.

Turning to face him, it's a struggle to keep her pleased smile in place. Something is different, she can sense it, but perhaps if she pretends all is well, it will be.

"You've returned; I wasn't far from going mad with missing you." A deep exaggeration, but a way to test the waters. If he has it in him to tease her back a bit, maybe things will be fine.

[northerndragon]

None of this is Claire's fault. It's the part that has made him heartsick, since his time in the mountains with Thancred: what Jon has begun to suspect will devastate his wife, the last person he would want to hurt.

So when he returns, he is closed off, eyes hooded, expression bleak. But her little joke makes him smile -- a sad, sickly smile.

"Don't go mad on my account," he begins. Then, helpless, "I shouldn't have gone to Hayle. Come here."

The urge to hold her when he sees her isn't gone.

[beautifullies]

He doesn't have to ask twice; Claire reaches out to him, feeling her stomach twist into knots at his expression. Her face presses to his shoulder, breathing deeply in an effort to soothe herself. If she can stay in that hug, in his arms, maybe they can ignore it. Even as that fleeting, pointless thought crosses her mind, she knows things can't be that way. There's no ignoring until later, not this time.

"What happened, Jon?"

She doesn't move, words muffled by his clothing.

[northerndragon]

For a long moment, he only continues to hold her tightly. It might be the last moment before everything changes. Or it might be nothing so terrible as that. The trouble is that there is little way to know without going forward.

Eventually, he relaxes his embrace a little. It is hard to know how to even begin to talk about this, so he decides to begin at the beginning.

"What do you recall of your life before Abraxas?" The question is careful -- hesitant.

[beautifullies]

Claire has pulled back enough to see his face, and she frowns slightly at the question, ready to dismiss it off hand.

"What do you mean before? I've always been here, father has always lived here." The Doctor, she means, but already there are questions she's never thought of before, brimming at the edge of her mind. She's never asked about her mother, where she was born.

"I don't understand why you're asking."

[northerndragon]

He shakes his head, slow and serious.

"We were brought here, all of us. It's why they called us The Summoned. I remember meeting you then -- your hair was dark. I lived in Thorne, and you in Solvunn. I thought you a kind lady. The Doctor -- he was never your father."

Was he? Perhaps he was, and Jon didn't know. It's possible, but it doesn't seem likely.

[beautifullies]

Claire feels her stomach drop, and she reaches out to grab the edge of a side table. Memories clashing, but nothing that she wants to be true. She doesn't want a fatherless life. She doesn't want a life without...him.

"Just a lady."

She lets out a humorless laugh, trying to see the bigger picture.

"So everyone's lives, they all means nothing, we're not...us?"

[northerndragon]

He pulls away a little so that he can look at her, then tilts his head, thoughtful.

"We are us." He means that he is Jon, she is Claire; less so that everything that they now think is true might actually be so. "But not everything we think we remember may be right. I had forgotten something important. That wall in Hayle, it... I guarded a wall like that. I joined a brotherhood when I was eight-and-ten. Its purpose was to protect the Seven Kingdoms, the North, from the things beyond the Wall.

"It doesn't mean our lives mean nothing. It means that we don't know them as well as we might."

𝐶𝑎𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑦𝑠𝑡 ϟ 𝐴𝑙𝑜𝑦

[beautifullies]

Things can remain as they are. For now.

Claire has retreated to her woods, firmly ignoring the fact that Jon has started to tug at the fabric of her reality. She doesn't want to acknowledge it and so she does her best to remain calm and do what she always does and pass the time with anyone who comes to rest. She's made her domain a respite, calm and soothing for the god on a mission. She's maintained connections this way, and she plans to stay rooted in those relationships.

It isn't footsteps Claire hears, but she feels a presence, and that alone is enough to make her push aside the doubt and worry blossoming in her heart.

"It's good to know you're here, your timing for the tea being ready is flawless." Indeed, Claire is never without, a table and chairs set up as if waiting just for them.

Everything will be fine, if she simply focuses on the present and her company.

[lightkeeping]

This has always been...tenuous. Aloy had come to accept that fact long ago, maybe even before all this. The Earth doesn't maintain balance on its own. She has been its guiding hand, and the work never really stops. Even the slightest disturbance can cause a ripple effect that takes years to right, and Aloy can't help but feel like such a ripple is happening now. It's only a matter of time.

For now, though, there are her friends. Claire's woods have been a source of solace to her over many years, and she'd hate to see them fall victim to the upheaval that seems to be coming.

"I like to think I've gotten pretty good at it."

Aloy's soft smile is the same as ever, and she pulls up a chair in the way she's done hundreds of times now. There's a moment where she seems to recognize that she is safe, and her shoulders relax, slight.

"How are you, Claire?"

[beautifullies]

There may well be a time (and soon) when Claire has no choice but to face a reality that seems grim, but for now, it will always make her quietly happy to know that Aloy has a space she knows she's welcome.

Bringing over the tea and sitting with her, Claire wraps her hands around her own cup, quietly wondering if she should try to brush off the question. But then she looks at Aloy and something tugs at her, a faraway thread she tries to ignore completely as something meaningless. Still, her pause has been too long to be considered fine.

"...Jon told me something recently. That things might not be what they seem."

It takes a lot for her to say it, brow drawn together with worry by the time she's finished.

[lightkeeping]

It's not hard to see from the start that Claire is troubled, even though she goes through the motions as if nothing is wrong. Aloy isn't much of a tea drinker, but she accepts it in certain scenarios, like this one--the important thing is it was prepared for her. It lets her know that Claire values her company, and the quiet respite that this visit brings them.

Luckily, it doesn't take long for the concern to make itself known. That's good--Aloy can pry information out of people, but she'd rather have an open conversation, even if the worried expression gives Aloy a twinge of anxiety in turn.

Claire's forest has been a source of comfort and stability for her, all these years. She doesn't want to think about what might happen if it were to go away.

"What do you mean?"

[beautifullies]

Claire takes a deep breath and makes an attempt to seem casual, though when she exhales, everything comes out of her, albeit a little haltingly.

"There...might be a life we're not remembering. A time...before Abraxas, even." Which boggles the mind; she's always been here, she was born here because her father has always lived here, on this planet. Nevermind the holes in what she thinks she knows as fact. Instead of looking at Aloy, she fidgets with a bangle on her wrist.

"I don't understand much more than that, but what we know may not be true."

[lightkeeping]

This is...obviously a lot to open a conversation with, but Claire has shown Aloy so much patience and hospitality over the years that she is inclined to listen, even if it sounds crazy. Aloy knows that they were humans once, but a time before ascension, like it was lived by someone else. Irrelevant, in the scheme of things, given their power and how they've come to shape this world.

What Claire is suggesting is a bit more troubling, though she'll treat it with the same measured skepticism she treats most things.

"Did something happen? Is this something the Singularity is doing?"

The inciting incident of these doubts seem important.

[beautifullies]

Claire tries to slow her thoughts; if Aloy doesn't immediately know what she means, could it be that Jon misunderstood, that the situation isn't what he thinks?

As she finishes the thought and glances at Aloy again to speak, something about her makes Claire pause, tilting her head a bit. That red hair, caught in just the right sunlight, reminds her of a girl with red, wild curls, holding her entire hand around one of Claire's long fingers and leading her through the forest toward a blackberry bush. The memory comes and goes swiftly, but it leaves her sitting a little paler as if she's seen something haunting.

Jon was right. She ignores Aloy's questions for one of her own, the same that was asked of her, only because she thinks it might lead to the answer.

"Do you...remember a life before Abraxas?" Her voice is strained, speaking around a lump in her throat.

[lightkeeping]

Aloy is patient, waiting for Claire to find the right words to describe what might be happening. It still doesn't make much sense to her, but it seems to be upsetting, so she doesn't want to discount it.

The question is less affecting for her than it seems to be for Claire, though it does give Aloy some pause.

"I know that I wasn't always here."

But the details of it have become blurry with time. She supposes it doesn't really matter, but Claire might be hinting at something deeper--something that might mean none of this is real at all.

"I don't really remember it, though."

𝐶𝑎𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑦𝑠𝑡 ϟ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐷𝑜𝑐𝑡𝑜𝑟

[beautifullies]

Claire is fighting to hold onto something that she can't re-spool, no matter how hard she tries. Her entire life, her father has been nearby, able to be seen anytime she'd like. Her father is the one she's turned to for guidance, for reassurance. He's seen her through the end of her first meaningful relationship and toasted her new marriage, they've studied the unusual, pondered echoes, and comforted one another in times of sorrow. That's what she knows.

Except that she also knows her father is dead, long dead, and he was never on this planet. She can't even remember Henry Beauchamp, but she remembers the Doctor.

Stumbling into his domain, she looks for him, desperate to be told there's a way to fix it all, to make time go back and put things the way they ought to be.

"Father!"

Because she refuses to give in, not yet. Not yet.

[thedreamer]

It wasn't an easy acceptance for him, admittedly. He'd made so many connections here and everything felt so real, which only serves to flare his temper as it pertains to this world and its mockery of their bodily autonomy; the way it can twist and turn their thoughts, rob their memories, use their pasts against them. It infuriates him and it would regardless if it was only him affected, but it's what this has done to those he loves most that makes it all worse.

It's with hearts as heavy as they've ever been that the Doctor reaches for her hand.

"You've started to remember," he speaks softly. Obviously, given her reaction. His hand holds tightly and securely to hers.

[beautifullies]

"No." The word tears out of her more like a sound of pain than denial. She does hold onto his hand, clinging as tightly as she dares while cycling through what this means.

"I won't lose a father, a husband, a son." She chokes on the last word, thinking of Percy. Adopted, but still hers—only the thread is untangling, and she realizes she has no clue who that boy is. When her eyes meet the Doctor's again, there's a wild storm there, as upset as she's ever been, as he's ever known her, at least.

"Please don't, we can keep this. I need my dad, more now. We can find a way to stop this."

There's a tug of familiarity at her begging and pleading, but she pushes that feeling aside, knowing it feels far away because it's part of a supposed actual life lived, and she wants this one that's ending.

[thedreamer]

He cradles her hand between both of his now for a moment, trying to be as gentle as he can be, while also knowing he can't leave her here to this madness and delusion. It's painful, it will hurt, but she deserves the truth. They all need that.

"I'm sorry, Claire. I truly am, but this isn't real," he speaks firmly, though there's a softness in his eyes nonetheless. "I know it hurts, and it might for a long while, but we can't stay here, we can't live inside of a lie."

He wishes he could take away her pain, he wishes that for everyone, but they can't stay where they don't belong.

[beautifullies]

She's shaking her head, looking at him as if he's betrayed her. "You won't even try." That should be enough to convince her; of course he isn't trying to keep her, he isn't her father, she isn't his. It should enough, but instead she steps back.

"I will, then. I'm not giving up on my life!" It wasn't a lie that long ago, and so she holds her hands out, letting them come to life with blue and white white magic. Her eyes begin to glow gold, and she focuses on the moment Jon returned from scouting with news. The jagged tear in her heart isn't real, but the pain is, and she focuses on it to begin rewinding time.

It doesn't take long for the wind to begin picking up around them, as if the elements themselves are disturbed by her actions.

[thedreamer]

"No, I won't," he says bluntly, though his eyes are soft and filled with concern for her. He'll let her do what she must for now, but he won't leave her and he won't allow her to remain in this delusion either.

"And that won't work," he adds, watching her devolve into that kind of grief that's so difficult to escape from when all that you want is to hold on so desperately. "This is over, Claire, and we're going back, we have to. It's not safe to stay here — listen to me. You won't lose me, you won't ever lose me, but this can't go on."

[beautifullies]

Jon had agreed with her, when she'd proposed that in reality they were little more than strangers. It had been a heartbreaking realization, one she wanted to run from, to somehow keep the fact that she's never lost anyone, in tact.

It's the idea that she can't, that she has to wrap herself back into a life that often hurt, that breaks her. She's stubborn, but not usually in a reckless way; her magic swells with a surge that seems to startle her though she doesn't shy away. Instead she allows it to build, time turning into white and blue blazing energy around her until it bursts in a fury.

Of course it didn't work; when the light fades Claire is in the same place, remembering the same forgotten life, and she sinks to her knees, utterly spent at the display of useless magic. It's killed every plant around her, flowers dead and wilted, trees losing their leaves almost in an instant as branches shrivel.

[thedreamer]

It brings him no joy at all to break her like this, instead turning his stomach over at the sight of her crumpling to the ground. He lets her do what she feels she has to with her magic — not that he could actually stop her regardless — and then he kneels down with her and reaches out for a moment to gently cup her cheek in his hand.

"Claire." Just her name. Just for now.