EVENT #18: EMERGENCE - IC EVENT LOG

[abraxasmods]

Event #18 - Emergence

OOC Plotting Post ⦁ Pre-Event Info ⦁ Setting Descriptions

Whether voluntary or by force, you find yourself transported to the Singularity's crater. There probably aren't many resistors - officials have taken great pains to convince you to come voluntarily, reserving force as a last resort - but it's clear that everyone is required for this to work. It takes multiple mages to stabilize the portal, but you make it there in one piece. If you cooperate, you'll be asked to walk towards the ancient relic. If you resisted, you might be forced to do so while restrained. Regardless, a heavy fog soon descends around the area, obscuring you and your vision.

If you have thoughts of turning back, it's too late: for some of you, the second you step across the threshold, a force pulls at your chest and absorbs your psyche at once. For others, a mystical call beckons you to walk a little further before the same effect takes hold. And for a rare few, the call brings you to the Singularity itself, where you're compelled to touch it - and are subsequently swallowed up like the others.

The Horizon doesn't greet you like you might expect. Instead, something far stranger awaits.

Please communicate with your fellow players as needed! We also recommend discussing with us if you plan on a major environmental upheaval. As a rule of thumb, you should avoid changes to the landscape that will significantly alter the established map.

We've also posted comment sections for WORLDBUILDING and HANDWAVED submissions. Instructions can be found at the respective links.

Year 20,879

When you open your eyes, it feels like you've only blinked. If your body has transformed or you're someplace that shouldn't exist, it doesn't strike you as odd. You were always here. Everything around you was always here, and your physical alterations and new abilities - while perhaps not originally there - have been a part of you for a long, long time.

The world of Abraxas isn't completely foreign. Familiar territories remain, as well as the familiar faces of those with long lifespans. But a lot has changed in 800 years, too, especially where the Gods are concerned. Alongside the Old Gods of the Ancient Pantheon and the Cardinal Gods of the New Order, a third class of deities formed from you and your fellow Summoned: the Ecesis Gods of the Iterum Pantheon.

Politics, People, & Gods

Abraxas's political landscape remains complex, with continued tensions over land, worship, resources, and power. Nonetheless, since the Free Cities is no longer intent on destroying the Singularity, conflict over the ancient relic has lessened. All territories agree that the Godlands - and the Singularity - belong to the Gods themselves.

Beliefs and Gods

The active presence of the Summoned confirms the existence of the Gods. As a result, most Abraxans turn to the Summoned and other Gods for aid or protection. Extreme reverence exists in certain areas, especially on the Isle of the Lost and in parts of Solvunn. In other places, though, the Gods are merely acknowledged as a facet of life - a force that helps or hinders depending on temperament and should be respected, much like the sea. The Gods play a crucial role, sure, but so do the rain and stars. This is particularly true in the Feywilds, the Nether, and the Free Cities.

Small pockets of non-believers actively denounce the Gods. They claim the Summoned should be wiped from the world and the Singularity destroyed to prevent future invasions. Labeled dangerous heretics by Thorne and Solvunn, and "regressives" by the Free Cities - whose scientists and philosophers liken such thinking to be as foolish as declaring the sun unworthy or the earth to be flat - these people are shunned from society. In Solvunn, the consequences are more severe: heretics are exiled to the Barren, where they are subsumed by the desert, the Maw, or whichever Gods may punish them.

At the other end, some sects revere the Godlands so much that they believe feeding themselves to the relic will enhance Abraxas' good fortune for generations to come. Such cults are quite rare, but there are reports of mortals throwing themselves into the Singularity's crater and disintegrating as a gesture of their devotion to the divine.

International Relations

Due to the combined change in their priorities, Thorne and the Free Cities are less at odds. The Free Cities believes in protecting the Singularity; Thorne no longer seeks to control it. Nonetheless, mistrust flares on occasion.

While things are peaceful during these three months and have been for a few decades, Abraxas hasn't found a cure for war in the Gods. Conflict has broken out in the past and will again. Eyes are on the Nether as it grows in power, and who knows how long Thorne will be content with its losses? Will they convince the Velan Republic to reunite and turn against the Free Cities? For now, though, the territories have found their stride and appear more interested in progress than fighting.

Magic & The Singularity

Magic is relatively unchanged and is a vital part of Abraxan life. The small kingdom of Thorne continues to practice Academic Magic. Meanwhile, Wild Magic plays the same important role in the Velan Republic (formally Nott). Meanwhile, the Free Cities has developed New Magic further. The goal of decoupling magic from technology is less of a focus. Instead, researchers are eager to find new ways to fuse magic and innovation, including aspects of the Gods. Portable shrines, for example, are popular with traveling merchants.

High Magic no longer exists as a specific school of magic now that offerings, pacts, and requests to the Gods are a part of everyday life across Abraxas. Solvunn has returned to its roots, using the ancient Academic Magic practiced by the Lunae for standard tasks while turning to the Gods for greater blessings.

The Singularity has been relatively stable for the past two or three centuries. While occasional disturbances rumble, for the most part, the presence of the Summoned has strengthened it, alleviating its displeasure and ensuring that Abraxas - and possibly the universe itself - continues to exist. Indeed, academic writings from Thorne and the Free Cities across time suggest that the Singularity's devouring of the world has considerably slowed. It is now as much of a threat as the eventual collapse of the sun, something that is bound to occur but not for eons.

Of course, this could quickly change if the Summoned or any other Gods provoke the Singularity by rejecting its connection or denying its magic...so all should take care not to upset the nature of things.

Old World, New World

The map of Abraxas has undergone some notable shifts, although many names and places are the same.

Setting descriptions are HERE for your reference.

Mechapolis, the Witchwood, and the Barren/the Maw contain prompts related to the event itself. Information about those areas can be found under "Exploring the Land" in the section The World as the Divine (Month 1-2).

Month 1-2: Submersion

What do you last remember? Well, that depends. You might recall most things perfectly clearly. You might have new memories that don't feel new at all. Or, you might only remember the most recent year or two. Regardless, there is something missing: an important face, a handful of key events...maybe you don't remember having ever lived anywhere except Abraxas. You might find this unsettling, or you might accept it as just the way things are.

You've transcended those old memories, anyhow. You feel a little distant from the person you were centuries ago, and you most likely look different, too. Perhaps you've sprouted giant wings, become a formless void, or you're now a shapeshifter with no permanent appearance. You've gained a substantial amount of power and influence, the type that people of this world attribute to the Gods.

The first half is a more sandbox-like environment designed for scenarios that emphasize CR and personal character moments. Active conflict between the emergent reality and the world will not arise until the second half.

The World as the Divine

The mortals have bestowed you with a title and possibly a new alias. Do you know your mortal name anymore? Some of you might've taken on a new identity, or you might have held very tightly onto who you were. Regardless, your abilities have grown. Your new powers and appearance are as unique as your dominion, influenced by your interests, subconscious desires, or personal relationships.

While in your full God form, you'll move through the world unperceived. Only when you're sought by a mortal - followers, believers, cultists - can you consciously make your complete divine presence known. To be seen freely by all, you'll have to take on a less overwhelming shape to the mortal gaze. Those who have met the Old Gods or Cardinal Gods in the past finally understand why they seldom reveal their true selves, often arriving in hazy visions or speaking through animals.

Exploring the Land

◎ The Witchwood

As the Summoned continued to ascend, their power began to coalesce, creating a new ecosystem never seen before. The dense woods, originally a temperate climate, warmed and grew into a thriving jungle. The air is humid and heavy with magic, the sky locked into an eternal sunset. Reds and oranges filter through the thick canopy. Birdcall and animal cries echo throughout the jungle. Trees and rocks seemingly move at night, meaning the Witchwood is impossible to map. Foolhardy souls who venture too deep are rarely seen again - unless divine intervention prevents a tragic fate from befalling them. Perhaps one of those intervening Gods is you?

The most dangerous beasts in the Witchwood are the demigod spawns. Creatures born from the Summoned, demigods are powerful enough to affect the world around them should they ever leave the magic-encased forest. See Impact & Consequences for more details on the demigods and how, as the Summoned, you can help maintain Abraxas' ecosystem.

◎ Mechapolis

Heartwood Syndrome persisted in Fomalhaut long after the quarantined population died out. The port city stood as a monument to loss for nearly a century until about 200 years in when the Summoned gained notable influence as Gods. This resulted in a slow but steady acceptance of the Singularity's power as a positive force for potential advancement. New Magic boomed, leading to increased sophistication in technology and the refinement of automatons.

Originally designed to clear and guard Fomalhaut, they were eventually used to rebuild it. Fomalhaut became known as the City of Machines and was renamed Mechapolis. Although humans are barred from entering for safety, the automatons gather soil and air samples for study and perform fishing duties. The clockworks require routine maintenance and must return to a hub city or outpost for recalibration. Clockwork birds are used to communicate with Mechapolis. They can broadcast through the Free Cities's primitive "radio" towers.

You can enhance clockwork performance, boosting the towers or providing additional energy to the automatons. Scientists often have "rituals" when performing maintenance or experiments to earn the Gods' favor, hoping this will prevent their inventions from breaking down.

◎ The Barren/The Badlands

Once contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities, the Badlands was split into two by a large ravine shortly after Thorne retreated to Hayle. With neither side able to breach the gap, Solvunn naturally laid claim to the western half while the Free Cities retained its eastern half. On the eastern side, the chasm swallowed several well-known bandit camps and the presence of a new entity further drove them away. Bandits now occupy the mountains northeast of Aquila. Due to the entity's threat, the Free Cities increased its military presence in the Badlands to keep careless or foolish travelers from straying too far.

Meanwhile, Solvunn has named its portion of the wasteland the Barren and sought the Gods' assistance to form an enchanted forest. Those who enter are lost forever. Meant for more than just protection, the forest and the Barren serve as a place of exile. Heretics are taken into the woods and left to wander towards the Barren's harsh desert. There, they will face the elements, be devoured by the waiting Maw...or encounter a God.

As a God, you can lead the exiles to their salvation or doom, but choose carefully: the Maw is hungry and must be fed. These exiles want you dead. They don't care for you, and should their lack of faith spread, they might revive attempts to destroy the Singularity - and with it, your home. Is it so wrong to leave them to their fate? On the other hand, saving them might convert them by demonstrating your kindness.

◎ The Maw

The Maw lurks beneath the chasm dividing the Badlands. Named for its gaping jaws, the Maw waits at the widest part of a jagged canyon, mouth open and salivating in the desert heat. Rows and rows of teeth as tall as a man spiral downward into a bloodshot throat. When sated, it retreats deep into the gully, barely visible aside from the shine of a tooth. When hungry, it draws closer to the surface. Hot and heavy winds often carry the putrid scent of its half-digested meals.

Solvunn is not the only territory that uses the Maw. The Free Cities will occasionally march criminals and bandits in that direction, as well, tossing them into the gaping mouth, although this method of execution is much rarer. Desperate exiles from Solvunn will try to cross the chasm despite the danger. None ever make it - at least, not without divine intervention.

Horizon, "Death," and Dormancy

Your domain in the Horizon is no longer constrained by size. How it's changed depends on you. The more detached from your mortality, the more likely it'll have surrealist elements: bizarre statues, physics-defying architecture, odd visual or psychological effects. The Horizon feels like home to all Gods, although you ought to take care not to heed its call beyond reason. Shutting yourself off from the physical world can result in unintended consequences...but completely refusing to enter the Horizon will do the same.

Additionally, Gods are beyond true death, but that doesn't mean you can act with impunity. Engaging in an exhaustive battle with other Gods can weaken you into dormancy. In this state, you will enter an ethereal void inside the Singularity. As you heal, you'll slowly be able to return to your Horizon domain and then the physical world once more. Depending on the extent of the damage, this process could take anywhere from months to decades. For instance, losing your head could take a few months, total dismemberment might take a year, and being vaporized into atoms can take a few decades.

Mortals cannot achieve this level of damage, even if they seemingly "succeed" in striking true. Only a God can weaken another God into dormancy. If a mortal removes your head, you can merely pick it up and put it back on.

Impact & Consequences

In the early years of your ascension, you might've wondered why the existing Gods seemingly intervened so little. Why did they not demonstrate their powers more blatantly over the thousands of years? Is it apathy? A desire to watch rather than act? As you come into your abilities, you realize that the Singularity and the universe are significantly more delicate than you thought. You begin to understand why the Gods have behaved the way they do.

Of course, whether you care to keep the world (and yourself) in balance is another story, but to be sure, some of the other Gods and the Summoned do - and you may have to defend your choices.

The equilibrium mechanic is described in OOC terms HERE. The Singularity and a character's ascension will not inherently sway them one way or the other. Any temptations will result from individual personality and development.

Instability Effects

To maintain the universe's equilibrium, you need to be cautious of when and how you interfere when using your status to alter the state of the world. Conversely, you'll also need to take care not to withdraw entirely. Several Gods have undergone periods of instability, though others haven't. Which category you fall under is up to you. It depends on who you are, your experiences, and your desires.

◎ Should you refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE your Godhood or enter the Horizon, you'll find yourself losing time. You may forget how you got from one place to another, or names you knew yesterday slip your mind. Lapses in memory or time can be temporary or permanent, but one thing they are is certainly confusing. With magic building inside you and nowhere for it to go, your power will begin to spill over, causing the Singularity to exhibit bursts of power that spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

◎ Should you give into the temptation to OVERINDULGE your Godhood or retreat to the Horizon for excessive periods, you'll lose more of yourself and your history. You may make decisions that feel unlike you, forget larger chunks of old memories, or struggle to distinguish what's real. Unrestrained use of magic will cause you to absorb yet more power, causing the Singularity to lose power in brief spurts, which can spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

These effects can be halted or even reversed in some cases. You might need someone's help to bring you back or convince you there's another way, or maybe you're the one seeking others out to assist. What you do soon understand is that your ability to manage your powers and stabilize your connection to the Horizon directly affects the Singularity and Abraxas...something that may have been true the moment you were summoned.

Demigod Spawns

Under the red haze of the Witchwood, monstrous creatures known as demigods or spawns emerge from crimson waterfalls and claw their out through the mossy soil. Born out of instabilities caused by careless actions from all Gods, they're usually contained to the Witchwood. For the most part, the older Gods - and the Summoned, if they choose - keep the demigods from leaving. However, now and again, one or two might escape, damaging towns, destroying villages, or causing ecological destruction in ways that are similar to natural disasters.

Demigods are not sentient. How they look can vary, but their appearances are often corrupted and disturbing: twisted animals, amorphous blobs, or alien-like parasites. They may resemble a monster you recognize from home.

Defeating one is possible but a challenge even for the Gods. Most crucially, you cannot kill your own spawn. Another God must deliver the killing blow, so working together is imperative. Should too many demigod spawns be allowed to invade the Witchwood, they will overwhelm and disrupt the Singularity further. Culling them is the only way to maintain stability.

You can submit demigod spawns you create to the WORLDBUILDING section if you want. Similar to using character powers, just keep the scale of destruction at a reasonable level.

Hearing Echoes

Echoes are a form of prayer that resonates through your connection with the Singularity. Solvunn has dedicated a monument to where the "First Echo" was heard, though the accuracy of this is debatable. Like the Network, you can hear an Echo regardless of where you are and can shut them out with concentration. However, your ties to Godhood may compel you to listen every so often. Mortals can entreat you through more formal methods (rituals, offerings, seasonal ceremonies) or in a moment of duress or desperation. They may seek you specifically or call to any God who will listen.

You can answer or ignore these cries for help as you like, but your choices carry consequences. Answer too many too eagerly, and your increased interference in mortal lives can upset the world's equilibrium - and the Singularity. Ignore your impact on the world, and your refusal to accept your ascension will equally destabilize the land as prayers go unheard.

Interacting with Other Gods

The Old Gods and the Cardinal Gods are an equal part of this world. For the most part, you coexist peacefully, though personal pacts and tensions can play a role. Each of you is aware of the impact of your actions on the Singularity: extreme displays of power are reserved for substantial transgressions, considering the price it carries.

Further, the older Gods have also walked the earth for centuries before you came. To them, you're still young, and rising against one of them won't end well for you. Nonetheless, many older Gods are more interested in giving advice or guiding you, ensuring the health of the Singularity and the universe so as not to doom all of you - Gods and mortals alike - to the void.

You can REQUEST AN INTERACTION with a God. Interactions will be brief but informative.

You will not be able to request a specific God. For logistical reasons, we have curated the list of Gods available ahead of time. However, we'll do our best to pick one from the pool that suits the purpose of your request.

Month 3: Awakening

Over the past 2 months, you've existed in the emergent reality without question. As you enter the third month, however, everything you've known over the past many centuries begins to shift. You might decide to investigate further, wondering if there's more out there that you aren't seeing. Alternatively, you might choose to ignore it, believing that your awakening is damaging the world and your life.

Catalysts

A catalyst can occur at any time through any circumstance. Do you see a familiar face you've forgotten in the eyes of a stranger? Do you recall a moment in your past while watching the mortals? Has a friend approached you specifically to try and remind you of the things you've forgotten?

With each memory returned you'll gain another piece of yourself. Depending on how much you've lost and how hard you'll cling to this reality, the effect may be clarifying or it might cause you distress and confusion. You might begin to encounter temporal cracks: buildings or areas that normally don't exist will flicker in and out of existence, or your reflection will briefly show an image of you from before your transformations took hold.

If you allow yourself to doubt your abilities or divinity, you might have trouble controlling your powers. If you've made alterations to your Horizon domain, it might start to revert to its original design.

These cracks are difficult to ignore, but if you bury your head, you can make them disappear - briefly, at least.

Shattered Skies

The effects go beyond the individual. As more of you and your fellow Gods reawaken, the sky also begins to form cracks that spread like broken glass. Through the fractures, you glimpse flashes of lightning and a swirling fog. The fissures only grow larger.

Soon, you realize you can see the Singularity itself, reflected upside-down in the crater. Disconcerting though it is, it may serve as proof that something is very wrong. Of course, you can also refuse to acknowledge this disturbance, closing your eyes to the crumbling sky. Doing so will let you remain unaware to the very end, but your friends who are seeking the truth might find your denial distressing.

The sky won't hold, though. Eventually, it does shatter completely - and you awaken abruptly, your body and others scattered several feet away from the Singularity's crater as if you were physically thrown out. The fog begins to dissipate. The lightning has stopped, the unrelenting storms fading across Abraxas. Whatever you went through, it seems to have done exactly what the territories hoped: stabilize the Singularity.

Characters will be returned home afterward. They will be thanked for their assistance regardless of if they cooperated.

Resistors will not face any consequences, as long as they don't cause excessive trouble upon their return. Officials will issue an apology for the heavy-handed action, stating that they saw no other way to keep the world safe. With the portals and weather returning to normal, it does seem to have worked...even if characters may not find the method agreeable.

---

Comments

awakening — ◈ dean.

[gynvael]

[ Once he leaves John, he can't shake what happened. It feels like he's seen something he shouldn't—a door unlocked. He still isn't certain what the fuck happened. He only knows it unsettled John, and in turn, that has unsettled Geralt.

He promises John he will return. It's not his intention to abandon the man, but he needs time to clear his head. And what's a few hours, days, to their eternal years? At first, he tries the Horizon. Settles into the thick snow, the crackling hearth. But something there isn't right, either. The cabin flickers in and out, crumbling stone walls shimmering through. A name he hasn't thought of in centuries rings clear in his mind: Kaer Morhen.

(Why would he remember that now?)

He leaves. Takes Roach and rides eastward. His path is not difficult to spot, moss and trees sprouting where he goes, but even his forest is...wrong. The roots are thicker, impossibly tangled; blood smears the grass and rocks. In the midst of his darkening woods, he glimpses a familiar figure ahead—one he realizes is coming towards him.

Geralt slows Roach to a stop. ] Dean.

[righteously]

( It's gotten easier to find Geralt over the centuries, and he's not sure if that's a reflection of Geralt or of Dean himself — or of their bond, perhaps. Maybe it's because he knows better than to hunt for the man when he doesn't want to be found. Any other time, there's a pull, an instinct, and he's always been a good tracker.

Yeah, he could've sent a message one way or another. Mentally, physically, whatever, but this whole thing... This is bigger than a text.

He could fly. He could mount a horse and ride. He doesn't. At some point a few days ago he'd just started walking, and his feet carry him forward now, and he doesn't actually realize that he's been dragging his sword the entire way, for days, with the tip of it digging a soft groove in the forest floor, somehow still impossibly sharp even after miles of mistreatment that would ruin any regular steel.

There's something wrong with Geralt's forest, just like there's something wrong with Dean's second and third set of wings, molting the way they are like they'd only done once before, several lifetimes ago. )

Gerald.

( He greets, and though the word is chipper enough, there's an undertone of strain beneath it he doesn't bother to hide. The stress reaches his eyes, puts a frown on his lips.

He could angle for some small talk after — how's it hanging, fancy seeing you here, I was in the neighborhood, just the man I've been looking for. He doesn't. His hand flexes; the hilt falls from it, and his sword hits the dirt. He doesn't seem to notice. )

You feel it?

[gynvael]

[ Dean's ability to locate him without fail has always felt right; that, at least, hasn't changed now. Nor does the ancient nickname rolling off Dean's tongue. But he can tell Dean is...off, sword digging carelessly into the ground (hasn't he taught a fellow wolf better?), the feathers on his wings thinning.

He frowns. His gaze flicks to the fallen weapon, then back to Dean. The shadow following him for miles creeps closer. ]

I don't know. [ It's an honest answer. I was with John. He saw thought I was somebody else. But Dean looks distraught, and that takes priority in his mind.

Geralt hops off of Roach. He can't take his eyes off of Dean's wings. His forest magic might be degrading, but the wings are something else. That's a part of Dean.

An icy grip coil around his ribs. Without thinking, he reaches for Dean's arm, flipping it over to see if—

If what? What would even be there? (Why is he thinking of the mark now? When they have long moved beyond demons and corrupted souls?)

Abruptly, he lets go. An uncharacteristic hesitance crosses his expression. ] Your wings. What happened?

[righteously]

( There is no Mark on Dean's arm. He doesn't protest the grab, doesn't so much as tense under the examination — but frankly, it takes him too many seconds to even realize what it is Geralt's doing. He forgot about the Mark. He forgot about that time, and it comes back to him with a rumble of thunder in the background of his mind, feeling fresher than it ought to for having been some eight centuries ago.

It feels like cracks in fine china. It feels like a bullet to a plate glass window.

Geralt drops his arm. It falls limp, hanging heavy at his side, fingers flexing around — nothing, no blade, no weapon. Strange. )

They're molting. ( He says, but that's obvious, and so he — clarifies, sort of: ) They don't feel like mine.

( Does that even make any sense? They're attached to him, and they have been for hundreds of years. But-- have they?

He shakes his head, dragging a hand through his hair. )

Something's wrong. Something doesn't- feel right, man. I keep thinking, things- things don't really... add up, for me, in a way that makes sense, you know? Sam-

( He starts, then stops. )

You know me. How in the Hell could I let that happen to Sam? Does that sound like me to you?

[gynvael]

[ They what? Deep down, he's aware Dean's wings weren't there from the start, but he can't recall ever not seeing them. Even before—all this, they'd already grown in. He tries to consider if he feels the same, but the truth is, Geralt has not changed between then and now. And yet, when he looks at Roach, the mare seems—hollow. No longer the sturdy companion he's had for ages. As though at any moment, she might crumble to dust.

Eventually, his attention cuts back to Dean's face. ]

You didn't allow anything. [ They have not spoken of Sam in a long time, but this much Geralt has never wavered on. Sam made his choices. His burdens are not Dean's.

Still—that isn't what Dean is asking. However Geralt might feel about it, he recognizes the truth with a sudden sharpness: Dean would not have let his brother drift away without following him down. Whether Sam could be saved or not is beside the point. Looking back, he can't recall the precise moment when Dean let Sam go.

He starts to say something else when the sky above splinters—a single crack cutting through the clouds. ]

Why now? Why is this on your mind after all these years?

[righteously]

( One thing they've never quite seen eye to eye on — Sam's burdens are always, always Dean's. This has been true since he was a child, it was true after the demon blood, it was true after Hell, it was true in every reality, every ending, always. So why, then, has it not held up? When did that start to change? When exactly did things derail? He can't pinpoint it.

He stayed with Geralt for years after his memories were taken. Dean's dedication hasn't changed, his commitment, his loyalty, these are not things godhood has taken from him. His love for his family remains. It's all still there, and he feels, very suddenly, like he has failed. He's failed Sam.

And he's failed Cas.
And he's failed Jo.

And he can taste it, on the back of his tongue — the concept that he might be able to fix it. All of it. To go back, to undo it, to stop it from ever happening in the first place. In ways he cannot understand or describe, it feels possible. The frisson of it is on his skin, static electricity. The cracking of the sky. )

Poughkeepsie.

( He says, his voice barely an exhale, as though the word's supposed to mean something to Geralt. With an abruptness that might be jarring, he closes the distance between them to grip Geralt at the jaw, to grasp firmly, to look him dead in the eyes. )

Look at me. I'm losing it, man, and I need- I need you to tell me you're with me, because I can't go back alone. I can't do it alone.

[gynvael]

[ What? What the fuck— ]

Dean. [ He wraps his hand firmly around the other man's wrist, but makes no effort to pull free. Go back where? (There's something out there. Isn't there? Every time he thinks about Yen, Ciri, he feels an impossible tug in his chest.)

He sighs. For a moment, he's silent. Then: ] I was with someone. John, he—remembered something from long ago. It wasn't like him.

[ And this isn't like Dean. Were it another, he'd have his questions. Not all of them have survived the centuries without their heads fucked with. But John has always been sure of who he is. So has Dean. ]

What did you remember?

[righteously]

( That hand around his wrist, that look in his brother's eyes — no, Geralt's eyes. Not Sam's. The feelings are similar, though, an echo of the dynamic. They share notes, but the song is different. Geralt is and is not his brother; he is and is not other things as well that are so very different from Sam. It's just- for a second, he's thrown back again to somewhere else.

The memory that cracked the sky for Dean, days (weeks? hours?) ago. The feeling that came before the onset of failure, that came before duty and obligation, the feeling that he's simultaneously ashamed of, and sad to let go.

It surfaces again now that Geralt is asking, and the sharpness of it pricks at his eyes. They go wet, shining green.

What did you remember?
Peace. )

I was done.

( The god damn relief of it all just finally being over, before the harsh reality that came with realizing they have to go back. Not knowing if he's got it in him to do a few more decades of all this, let alone centuries.

And then unquestionably knowing that it doesn't matter if he can, because he will regardless. For the people around him. Whether he wants to or not. He just- can't do it alone. That's where he draws the line. That's why he's here. )

[gynvael]

[ Concern brings him a half-step forward, the only inch left between them. Now it's his turn to catch Dean's eyes, holding them as he tries to read what's unsaid. They've known each other since the beginning. He does not recall a time when Dean wasn't in his life—

Or so he thought. Suddenly, he isn't sure. Done how? What the fuck does that mean?

No, he knows exactly what Dean means. He can see it etched on Dean's face. But that isn't part of his memories, either. Would Dean not have told him? Did he forget again? And what of himself? What does he remember? For the first time, he stops to truly reflect on the images he's been ignoring. A sprawling fortress—the one that keeps reappearing in the Horizon. Blood running across shattered stone, pooling.

Beneath his feet, the grass crumbles to sand. He finally breaks away. ]

Tell me exactly what you think is happening.

[righteously]

( He can feel the breath between them, recycled air, the heat of it. If he tipped his face forward, their foreheads would touch, and that would be familiar too — but it's not quite the same. Different eyes looking back at him, a differently shaped hand at his wrist. It helps ground him, helps him focus. Keeps him in the present moment, in this, rather than succumbing the phantom feeling of a rebar spike wedged between his shoulder blades. He remembers the edges of his vision going dark.

He's alive.

He shouldn't be, but he is. God damn it, he is.

His voice is low, quiet, a hoarse whisper that suits the proximity between them. )

This isn't real. None of this is real. I don't know how much of it- I don't know how long we've been here, but man... I don't think anything's been real in a long time.

[gynvael]

[ How long is a long time? All of it? He wants to say his memories are clear, he can trace the path of his life, but now that he's reflecting on it, the gaps are larger than he imagined.

Except there's one piece Geralt cannot move past: if Dean is insisting he met his end, then what does that mean should their lives here prove false? He hears what his friend (brother) is saying. He's even inclined to believe him because Dean would not come to him like this unless the matter was grave. He can't pretend he hasn't had questions himself.

But— ]

What about you? [ The words tumble loose. ] You were done. If this ends...

[ Then so does Dean. A weight sits between his ribs. He is no longer familiar with it, he realizes. It's been decades and decades since he's felt true loss. Now it rises like a cresting wave at the possibility. ]

[righteously]

( What about him. Ain't that the question? There's a somber, telling pause — and then a low admission follows. )

I don't know.

( What that means for himself, he can't even start to guess. If he'll just fade out when all this ends, or if he'll wake up with the rest of them, fresh with the memory of a stake in his back, once again alive against all sanity and reason.

There's no way to know except the hard way. )

Does it even really matter?

( They can't just stay in a god damn fantasy land because of him. If they go back, so many things get put right. Dean's life is a small price to pay for reeling Sam back from the edge. For restoring all of Geralt's memories, those last few that have been elusive.

And yeah, maybe he wouldn't so much mind, anyway. )

[gynvael]

[ Geralt stares at him. What sort of question is that? ]

It matters to me.

[ Dean is right. He realizes that. They can't bury their heads in the sand. Nothing in this life or another is perfect. They can only hope that it is theirs, and this—this isn't theirs. And if it isn't theirs, then it isn't Ciri's, either. She is out there somewhere he cannot reach. How long has it been? Is she searching for him, some version of her? Or are they here together?

No. He can't abandon his daughter. But it still fucking matters.

The breath he releases is sharp, dissatisfied. He doesn't say his goodbyes. (It doesn't feel right. Not yet.) ] I'll be back. If you're there.

[righteously]

( His smile is hollow. An empty gesture.

He pulls back, reels himself in, and offers Geralt the only thing he really has to offer right now: comforting bullshit. )

I'll be there.

( As though he can possibly promise that with any kind of confidence. He doesn't believe it, he doubts Geralt will believe it either, but it still doesn't matter. )

Go get your kid. I'll see you on the other side.