EVENT #18: EMERGENCE - IC EVENT LOG

[abraxasmods]

Event #18 - Emergence

OOC Plotting Post ⦁ Pre-Event Info ⦁ Setting Descriptions

Whether voluntary or by force, you find yourself transported to the Singularity's crater. There probably aren't many resistors - officials have taken great pains to convince you to come voluntarily, reserving force as a last resort - but it's clear that everyone is required for this to work. It takes multiple mages to stabilize the portal, but you make it there in one piece. If you cooperate, you'll be asked to walk towards the ancient relic. If you resisted, you might be forced to do so while restrained. Regardless, a heavy fog soon descends around the area, obscuring you and your vision.

If you have thoughts of turning back, it's too late: for some of you, the second you step across the threshold, a force pulls at your chest and absorbs your psyche at once. For others, a mystical call beckons you to walk a little further before the same effect takes hold. And for a rare few, the call brings you to the Singularity itself, where you're compelled to touch it - and are subsequently swallowed up like the others.

The Horizon doesn't greet you like you might expect. Instead, something far stranger awaits.

Please communicate with your fellow players as needed! We also recommend discussing with us if you plan on a major environmental upheaval. As a rule of thumb, you should avoid changes to the landscape that will significantly alter the established map.

We've also posted comment sections for WORLDBUILDING and HANDWAVED submissions. Instructions can be found at the respective links.

Year 20,879

When you open your eyes, it feels like you've only blinked. If your body has transformed or you're someplace that shouldn't exist, it doesn't strike you as odd. You were always here. Everything around you was always here, and your physical alterations and new abilities - while perhaps not originally there - have been a part of you for a long, long time.

The world of Abraxas isn't completely foreign. Familiar territories remain, as well as the familiar faces of those with long lifespans. But a lot has changed in 800 years, too, especially where the Gods are concerned. Alongside the Old Gods of the Ancient Pantheon and the Cardinal Gods of the New Order, a third class of deities formed from you and your fellow Summoned: the Ecesis Gods of the Iterum Pantheon.

Politics, People, & Gods

Abraxas's political landscape remains complex, with continued tensions over land, worship, resources, and power. Nonetheless, since the Free Cities is no longer intent on destroying the Singularity, conflict over the ancient relic has lessened. All territories agree that the Godlands - and the Singularity - belong to the Gods themselves.

Beliefs and Gods

The active presence of the Summoned confirms the existence of the Gods. As a result, most Abraxans turn to the Summoned and other Gods for aid or protection. Extreme reverence exists in certain areas, especially on the Isle of the Lost and in parts of Solvunn. In other places, though, the Gods are merely acknowledged as a facet of life - a force that helps or hinders depending on temperament and should be respected, much like the sea. The Gods play a crucial role, sure, but so do the rain and stars. This is particularly true in the Feywilds, the Nether, and the Free Cities.

Small pockets of non-believers actively denounce the Gods. They claim the Summoned should be wiped from the world and the Singularity destroyed to prevent future invasions. Labeled dangerous heretics by Thorne and Solvunn, and "regressives" by the Free Cities - whose scientists and philosophers liken such thinking to be as foolish as declaring the sun unworthy or the earth to be flat - these people are shunned from society. In Solvunn, the consequences are more severe: heretics are exiled to the Barren, where they are subsumed by the desert, the Maw, or whichever Gods may punish them.

At the other end, some sects revere the Godlands so much that they believe feeding themselves to the relic will enhance Abraxas' good fortune for generations to come. Such cults are quite rare, but there are reports of mortals throwing themselves into the Singularity's crater and disintegrating as a gesture of their devotion to the divine.

International Relations

Due to the combined change in their priorities, Thorne and the Free Cities are less at odds. The Free Cities believes in protecting the Singularity; Thorne no longer seeks to control it. Nonetheless, mistrust flares on occasion.

While things are peaceful during these three months and have been for a few decades, Abraxas hasn't found a cure for war in the Gods. Conflict has broken out in the past and will again. Eyes are on the Nether as it grows in power, and who knows how long Thorne will be content with its losses? Will they convince the Velan Republic to reunite and turn against the Free Cities? For now, though, the territories have found their stride and appear more interested in progress than fighting.

Magic & The Singularity

Magic is relatively unchanged and is a vital part of Abraxan life. The small kingdom of Thorne continues to practice Academic Magic. Meanwhile, Wild Magic plays the same important role in the Velan Republic (formally Nott). Meanwhile, the Free Cities has developed New Magic further. The goal of decoupling magic from technology is less of a focus. Instead, researchers are eager to find new ways to fuse magic and innovation, including aspects of the Gods. Portable shrines, for example, are popular with traveling merchants.

High Magic no longer exists as a specific school of magic now that offerings, pacts, and requests to the Gods are a part of everyday life across Abraxas. Solvunn has returned to its roots, using the ancient Academic Magic practiced by the Lunae for standard tasks while turning to the Gods for greater blessings.

The Singularity has been relatively stable for the past two or three centuries. While occasional disturbances rumble, for the most part, the presence of the Summoned has strengthened it, alleviating its displeasure and ensuring that Abraxas - and possibly the universe itself - continues to exist. Indeed, academic writings from Thorne and the Free Cities across time suggest that the Singularity's devouring of the world has considerably slowed. It is now as much of a threat as the eventual collapse of the sun, something that is bound to occur but not for eons.

Of course, this could quickly change if the Summoned or any other Gods provoke the Singularity by rejecting its connection or denying its magic...so all should take care not to upset the nature of things.

Old World, New World

The map of Abraxas has undergone some notable shifts, although many names and places are the same.

Setting descriptions are HERE for your reference.

Mechapolis, the Witchwood, and the Barren/the Maw contain prompts related to the event itself. Information about those areas can be found under "Exploring the Land" in the section The World as the Divine (Month 1-2).

Month 1-2: Submersion

What do you last remember? Well, that depends. You might recall most things perfectly clearly. You might have new memories that don't feel new at all. Or, you might only remember the most recent year or two. Regardless, there is something missing: an important face, a handful of key events...maybe you don't remember having ever lived anywhere except Abraxas. You might find this unsettling, or you might accept it as just the way things are.

You've transcended those old memories, anyhow. You feel a little distant from the person you were centuries ago, and you most likely look different, too. Perhaps you've sprouted giant wings, become a formless void, or you're now a shapeshifter with no permanent appearance. You've gained a substantial amount of power and influence, the type that people of this world attribute to the Gods.

The first half is a more sandbox-like environment designed for scenarios that emphasize CR and personal character moments. Active conflict between the emergent reality and the world will not arise until the second half.

The World as the Divine

The mortals have bestowed you with a title and possibly a new alias. Do you know your mortal name anymore? Some of you might've taken on a new identity, or you might have held very tightly onto who you were. Regardless, your abilities have grown. Your new powers and appearance are as unique as your dominion, influenced by your interests, subconscious desires, or personal relationships.

While in your full God form, you'll move through the world unperceived. Only when you're sought by a mortal - followers, believers, cultists - can you consciously make your complete divine presence known. To be seen freely by all, you'll have to take on a less overwhelming shape to the mortal gaze. Those who have met the Old Gods or Cardinal Gods in the past finally understand why they seldom reveal their true selves, often arriving in hazy visions or speaking through animals.

Exploring the Land

◎ The Witchwood

As the Summoned continued to ascend, their power began to coalesce, creating a new ecosystem never seen before. The dense woods, originally a temperate climate, warmed and grew into a thriving jungle. The air is humid and heavy with magic, the sky locked into an eternal sunset. Reds and oranges filter through the thick canopy. Birdcall and animal cries echo throughout the jungle. Trees and rocks seemingly move at night, meaning the Witchwood is impossible to map. Foolhardy souls who venture too deep are rarely seen again - unless divine intervention prevents a tragic fate from befalling them. Perhaps one of those intervening Gods is you?

The most dangerous beasts in the Witchwood are the demigod spawns. Creatures born from the Summoned, demigods are powerful enough to affect the world around them should they ever leave the magic-encased forest. See Impact & Consequences for more details on the demigods and how, as the Summoned, you can help maintain Abraxas' ecosystem.

◎ Mechapolis

Heartwood Syndrome persisted in Fomalhaut long after the quarantined population died out. The port city stood as a monument to loss for nearly a century until about 200 years in when the Summoned gained notable influence as Gods. This resulted in a slow but steady acceptance of the Singularity's power as a positive force for potential advancement. New Magic boomed, leading to increased sophistication in technology and the refinement of automatons.

Originally designed to clear and guard Fomalhaut, they were eventually used to rebuild it. Fomalhaut became known as the City of Machines and was renamed Mechapolis. Although humans are barred from entering for safety, the automatons gather soil and air samples for study and perform fishing duties. The clockworks require routine maintenance and must return to a hub city or outpost for recalibration. Clockwork birds are used to communicate with Mechapolis. They can broadcast through the Free Cities's primitive "radio" towers.

You can enhance clockwork performance, boosting the towers or providing additional energy to the automatons. Scientists often have "rituals" when performing maintenance or experiments to earn the Gods' favor, hoping this will prevent their inventions from breaking down.

◎ The Barren/The Badlands

Once contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities, the Badlands was split into two by a large ravine shortly after Thorne retreated to Hayle. With neither side able to breach the gap, Solvunn naturally laid claim to the western half while the Free Cities retained its eastern half. On the eastern side, the chasm swallowed several well-known bandit camps and the presence of a new entity further drove them away. Bandits now occupy the mountains northeast of Aquila. Due to the entity's threat, the Free Cities increased its military presence in the Badlands to keep careless or foolish travelers from straying too far.

Meanwhile, Solvunn has named its portion of the wasteland the Barren and sought the Gods' assistance to form an enchanted forest. Those who enter are lost forever. Meant for more than just protection, the forest and the Barren serve as a place of exile. Heretics are taken into the woods and left to wander towards the Barren's harsh desert. There, they will face the elements, be devoured by the waiting Maw...or encounter a God.

As a God, you can lead the exiles to their salvation or doom, but choose carefully: the Maw is hungry and must be fed. These exiles want you dead. They don't care for you, and should their lack of faith spread, they might revive attempts to destroy the Singularity - and with it, your home. Is it so wrong to leave them to their fate? On the other hand, saving them might convert them by demonstrating your kindness.

◎ The Maw

The Maw lurks beneath the chasm dividing the Badlands. Named for its gaping jaws, the Maw waits at the widest part of a jagged canyon, mouth open and salivating in the desert heat. Rows and rows of teeth as tall as a man spiral downward into a bloodshot throat. When sated, it retreats deep into the gully, barely visible aside from the shine of a tooth. When hungry, it draws closer to the surface. Hot and heavy winds often carry the putrid scent of its half-digested meals.

Solvunn is not the only territory that uses the Maw. The Free Cities will occasionally march criminals and bandits in that direction, as well, tossing them into the gaping mouth, although this method of execution is much rarer. Desperate exiles from Solvunn will try to cross the chasm despite the danger. None ever make it - at least, not without divine intervention.

Horizon, "Death," and Dormancy

Your domain in the Horizon is no longer constrained by size. How it's changed depends on you. The more detached from your mortality, the more likely it'll have surrealist elements: bizarre statues, physics-defying architecture, odd visual or psychological effects. The Horizon feels like home to all Gods, although you ought to take care not to heed its call beyond reason. Shutting yourself off from the physical world can result in unintended consequences...but completely refusing to enter the Horizon will do the same.

Additionally, Gods are beyond true death, but that doesn't mean you can act with impunity. Engaging in an exhaustive battle with other Gods can weaken you into dormancy. In this state, you will enter an ethereal void inside the Singularity. As you heal, you'll slowly be able to return to your Horizon domain and then the physical world once more. Depending on the extent of the damage, this process could take anywhere from months to decades. For instance, losing your head could take a few months, total dismemberment might take a year, and being vaporized into atoms can take a few decades.

Mortals cannot achieve this level of damage, even if they seemingly "succeed" in striking true. Only a God can weaken another God into dormancy. If a mortal removes your head, you can merely pick it up and put it back on.

Impact & Consequences

In the early years of your ascension, you might've wondered why the existing Gods seemingly intervened so little. Why did they not demonstrate their powers more blatantly over the thousands of years? Is it apathy? A desire to watch rather than act? As you come into your abilities, you realize that the Singularity and the universe are significantly more delicate than you thought. You begin to understand why the Gods have behaved the way they do.

Of course, whether you care to keep the world (and yourself) in balance is another story, but to be sure, some of the other Gods and the Summoned do - and you may have to defend your choices.

The equilibrium mechanic is described in OOC terms HERE. The Singularity and a character's ascension will not inherently sway them one way or the other. Any temptations will result from individual personality and development.

Instability Effects

To maintain the universe's equilibrium, you need to be cautious of when and how you interfere when using your status to alter the state of the world. Conversely, you'll also need to take care not to withdraw entirely. Several Gods have undergone periods of instability, though others haven't. Which category you fall under is up to you. It depends on who you are, your experiences, and your desires.

◎ Should you refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE your Godhood or enter the Horizon, you'll find yourself losing time. You may forget how you got from one place to another, or names you knew yesterday slip your mind. Lapses in memory or time can be temporary or permanent, but one thing they are is certainly confusing. With magic building inside you and nowhere for it to go, your power will begin to spill over, causing the Singularity to exhibit bursts of power that spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

◎ Should you give into the temptation to OVERINDULGE your Godhood or retreat to the Horizon for excessive periods, you'll lose more of yourself and your history. You may make decisions that feel unlike you, forget larger chunks of old memories, or struggle to distinguish what's real. Unrestrained use of magic will cause you to absorb yet more power, causing the Singularity to lose power in brief spurts, which can spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

These effects can be halted or even reversed in some cases. You might need someone's help to bring you back or convince you there's another way, or maybe you're the one seeking others out to assist. What you do soon understand is that your ability to manage your powers and stabilize your connection to the Horizon directly affects the Singularity and Abraxas...something that may have been true the moment you were summoned.

Demigod Spawns

Under the red haze of the Witchwood, monstrous creatures known as demigods or spawns emerge from crimson waterfalls and claw their out through the mossy soil. Born out of instabilities caused by careless actions from all Gods, they're usually contained to the Witchwood. For the most part, the older Gods - and the Summoned, if they choose - keep the demigods from leaving. However, now and again, one or two might escape, damaging towns, destroying villages, or causing ecological destruction in ways that are similar to natural disasters.

Demigods are not sentient. How they look can vary, but their appearances are often corrupted and disturbing: twisted animals, amorphous blobs, or alien-like parasites. They may resemble a monster you recognize from home.

Defeating one is possible but a challenge even for the Gods. Most crucially, you cannot kill your own spawn. Another God must deliver the killing blow, so working together is imperative. Should too many demigod spawns be allowed to invade the Witchwood, they will overwhelm and disrupt the Singularity further. Culling them is the only way to maintain stability.

You can submit demigod spawns you create to the WORLDBUILDING section if you want. Similar to using character powers, just keep the scale of destruction at a reasonable level.

Hearing Echoes

Echoes are a form of prayer that resonates through your connection with the Singularity. Solvunn has dedicated a monument to where the "First Echo" was heard, though the accuracy of this is debatable. Like the Network, you can hear an Echo regardless of where you are and can shut them out with concentration. However, your ties to Godhood may compel you to listen every so often. Mortals can entreat you through more formal methods (rituals, offerings, seasonal ceremonies) or in a moment of duress or desperation. They may seek you specifically or call to any God who will listen.

You can answer or ignore these cries for help as you like, but your choices carry consequences. Answer too many too eagerly, and your increased interference in mortal lives can upset the world's equilibrium - and the Singularity. Ignore your impact on the world, and your refusal to accept your ascension will equally destabilize the land as prayers go unheard.

Interacting with Other Gods

The Old Gods and the Cardinal Gods are an equal part of this world. For the most part, you coexist peacefully, though personal pacts and tensions can play a role. Each of you is aware of the impact of your actions on the Singularity: extreme displays of power are reserved for substantial transgressions, considering the price it carries.

Further, the older Gods have also walked the earth for centuries before you came. To them, you're still young, and rising against one of them won't end well for you. Nonetheless, many older Gods are more interested in giving advice or guiding you, ensuring the health of the Singularity and the universe so as not to doom all of you - Gods and mortals alike - to the void.

You can REQUEST AN INTERACTION with a God. Interactions will be brief but informative.

You will not be able to request a specific God. For logistical reasons, we have curated the list of Gods available ahead of time. However, we'll do our best to pick one from the pool that suits the purpose of your request.

Month 3: Awakening

Over the past 2 months, you've existed in the emergent reality without question. As you enter the third month, however, everything you've known over the past many centuries begins to shift. You might decide to investigate further, wondering if there's more out there that you aren't seeing. Alternatively, you might choose to ignore it, believing that your awakening is damaging the world and your life.

Catalysts

A catalyst can occur at any time through any circumstance. Do you see a familiar face you've forgotten in the eyes of a stranger? Do you recall a moment in your past while watching the mortals? Has a friend approached you specifically to try and remind you of the things you've forgotten?

With each memory returned you'll gain another piece of yourself. Depending on how much you've lost and how hard you'll cling to this reality, the effect may be clarifying or it might cause you distress and confusion. You might begin to encounter temporal cracks: buildings or areas that normally don't exist will flicker in and out of existence, or your reflection will briefly show an image of you from before your transformations took hold.

If you allow yourself to doubt your abilities or divinity, you might have trouble controlling your powers. If you've made alterations to your Horizon domain, it might start to revert to its original design.

These cracks are difficult to ignore, but if you bury your head, you can make them disappear - briefly, at least.

Shattered Skies

The effects go beyond the individual. As more of you and your fellow Gods reawaken, the sky also begins to form cracks that spread like broken glass. Through the fractures, you glimpse flashes of lightning and a swirling fog. The fissures only grow larger.

Soon, you realize you can see the Singularity itself, reflected upside-down in the crater. Disconcerting though it is, it may serve as proof that something is very wrong. Of course, you can also refuse to acknowledge this disturbance, closing your eyes to the crumbling sky. Doing so will let you remain unaware to the very end, but your friends who are seeking the truth might find your denial distressing.

The sky won't hold, though. Eventually, it does shatter completely - and you awaken abruptly, your body and others scattered several feet away from the Singularity's crater as if you were physically thrown out. The fog begins to dissipate. The lightning has stopped, the unrelenting storms fading across Abraxas. Whatever you went through, it seems to have done exactly what the territories hoped: stabilize the Singularity.

Characters will be returned home afterward. They will be thanked for their assistance regardless of if they cooperated.

Resistors will not face any consequences, as long as they don't cause excessive trouble upon their return. Officials will issue an apology for the heavy-handed action, stating that they saw no other way to keep the world safe. With the portals and weather returning to normal, it does seem to have worked...even if characters may not find the method agreeable.

---

Comments

[iustise]

[‘A jog’ did not explain the wild look that Jaskier had thrown behind himself, when he had first stopped. As if he had expected something, or perhaps someone to be in pursuit.

John does not press, but he finds that he often does not need to. Not here and now, as Verity. And not, he supposes, as Lord John Grey himself either. He wonders if his godhood somehow was created from that — if he created it himself, perhaps? — and the world tilts on its axis for the briefest of moments. He tightens his hold on Jaskier’s arm and decides it’s best not to think of such things, for the time being.]

Besides that. [He echoes, and considers his answer for a moment.]

I was with Geralt, for a time. In a cabin in the mountains. [A smile plays across his face. Despite how it had ended, there are good memories there. He was sorry that the moment of peace they had built together had been thus interrupted.

Shattered, as it were.]

He built this one himself, this time.

[cointosser]

[Jaskier glances down at their entwined arms, and for half a second there is a frown to his normally soft brows. Had he simply imagined the tightening of his grip? He hardly think Verity fears Jaskier escaping his touch, and he has made no attempt to, so --

Oh, look. Now the Wolf's got him bloody anxious, which is, frankly, a state that should be absolutely impossible for him. Is he not the Sun, after all?

And his name comes up again. Jaskier huffs, but it's light and affectionate. Nothing Geralt could do to him would ever truly upset him.] He does have a penchant for using his hands. And he isn't bad with them. [It would normally be a double entendre, but Jaskier's mind is still preoccupied from his running before.] Forgive my saying so, but it shocks me still you're such a good match. He's always been such an irritable bastard. [His smile returns, brows smoothed out.

He's been to one of Geralt's cabins. They're nothing if not cozy. Warm. The way Sam had always felt like home... he thinks Geralt brings that to his cabins, too.] Though you've an eternity's worth of patience, which certainly doesn't hurt.

[iustise]

[It speaks to how preoccupied they both are that the double-entendre passes them by. And Jaskier is right. He has seen it, in the care with which Geralt has built the cabins they have spent their winters together in. The intricacies of the little carved wooden figures that he had given him over the years. John had loved them all, and the way they had spoken of the man underneath the gruff exterior. He’d had a special place for them on his bookshelf in the little country home of his Horizon. His home.

He will miss it there, he thinks, sadly. He will miss all of this.

He offers his companion the flash of a smile in return, though, at the following words. The observation is not an insult, at least where John’s own character is concerned. And as for the comments on Geralt himself — well. Jaskier is one of Geralt’s oldest friends, and far be it from him to argue with him over the other man’s character. And now John does remember—

A hand, warm against his cheek. The taste of wine on his lips. A Carnivale.

His face warms at the memory, and he does his best to drag himself away, lest he get caught in the dizzying question of when this was…]

I do not know about an eternity, but patience does help. As does, I suppose, an ability to understand that which is not spoken aloud.

[It is useful with Geralt, who is particularly reticent in sharing much of anything on any given day. But also in conversation with others. Such as now, he expects.]

[cointosser]

You'll have an eternity before you know it's passed.

[The words, especially from Jaskier, sound shockingly wistful. For a moment, he looks away, and perhaps he sees something in that darkened, storming sky. An omen, or something worse? He has written more songs than he can count on the passage of time. How when it does not matter, that the world, in some way, becomes incomprehensible.

People become incomprehensible, when they're reduced to only moments, or periods, or eras... and existence is leaving one era, only to enter the next, having left pieces of oneself behind.

His eyes glint back to John, a shocking blue. A song that Jaskier dare not sing begins to craft itself in the back of his mind.] Surely you're not implying anything about me, beloved Verity. I always speak my mind.

[iustise]

[John’s light blue eyes meet Jaskier’s in return. Soft and perhaps more understanding than he would have a right to be, if he did not know why the sky is slowly breaking apart.

If he had not spent the last few centuries (how much time has it been?) getting to know the man at his side. For all that they are separate in demeanor, he and Geralt have more in common than they may realize with the way they guard the truth of their emotions so close to their chest. Geralt’s behind a wall of muscle and steel and Jaskier? The effect is subtler, and there is certainly less growling involved, but pretty words and a pretty smile can still an armor be. John understands this well himself.

Gently, he replies:]

I am listening.

[cointosser]

[It has been so long since he has worn a mask; longer still that it has cracked and fractured so easily under the gaze of another. Jaskier has prided himself on being a man -- god -- whatever -- that had no need for misdirection nor lies. Not even a big of fog over his intentions.

He was the sun. Direct. Forthcoming. Bright.

Yet he feels cold now; hidden behind some other's shadow.

Truth always finds its man, as they say. It cuts through to the heart of things, just as easily and thoroughly as Geralt's sword.

Jaskier takes Verity's hand in his, holding it tight. His palm is clammy, where Verity's is warm.] Something is wrong. And I don't want to learn what it is. I am, in fact, terrified of learning what it is.

MY APOLOGIES for the wait, life has been A Lot

[iustise]

[John can feel Jaskier's anxiety, in the tightness of his crip. In the sweat which is coating his hand. He can see it there now in the way he is struggling with this. He lets him take his time in speaking, squeezing gently in return, before Jaskier speaks.

And then he knows. He knows that Jaskier knows, or at least is starting to figure it out. The truth.

John knows that they are balanced on a precipice. He is careful, gentle as he replies, light blue eyes seeking out Jaskier's:]

What is it that frightens you?

no worries!

[cointosser]

[And Jaskier knows he knows. That Verity has seen something, pierced through the veil, and is calm, slow, collected... bringing a horse to water and waiting as it learns that it can drink.

Watching as the horse decides whether the water is poisoned or not.

Jaskier has long been a master of poison and toxins; if he wanted to, he could blight out this entire world in an instant. He's sure of that. And this? Gods, this is toxic even to his kind.

There was a time where the answer to that question would be, what isn't there to fear?]

What all men fear, John. [The name slips, blooming like something sour on his tongue. The toxin invading his body.] Losing what I have.

i hope you won't mind me continuing this even though its super late ;;

[iustise]

[John's expression softens ever so slightly at that confession. The fear of loss...

John is a soldier. He knows that now. He cannot say he had ever truly lost that part of himself, but in a way it had been buried, and for however long he had spent together with his fellow travelers here in this place, he had found peace. But as a soldier, John understands loss. He has faced it, time and time again. Perhaps not exactly in such a way as Jaskier refers, but he suspects it is not so different either.

There are those who might say that it gets easier, over time. But John suspects that those are lies one tells oneself to soften a blow. And being Verity, he is not about to lie to his companion.

John gently squeezes Jaskier's hand in return, where the other man is holding it tight.]

It is not wrong to fear loss. You seek to protect yourself from the pain you know is coming. And so you run.

[John searches the other man's expression gently.]

My dear friend. You know that you cannot run forever.

of course not!!

[cointosser]

[Saying it out loud feels like a mistake, as if its mere utterance makes it all the more likely to approach him, to engulf him, to become true. To lose. All he's done is gain -- for the most part. He almost lost Geralt, once, and if he had, he cannot say what sort of god he would have become after. It had taken so long to bring him back, to help him gain his memories again.

The pain you know is coming?

His heart. Gods, it hurts. Like a physical thing. A squeeze. A prick. A stabbing.

All he has to do is take his hands back and keep running. Because that's what he'd been doing. Running. From a wave about to engulf him.]

We can run together. It's easier. It's so much easier than drowning.

i promise i will be picking up the pace now!!!

[iustise]

[John’s light blue eyes are sad as he listens to the other man’s response. As he watches him struggle, continue to fight this. Of course he is fighting, John supposes. It is instinctual. To protect himself, to protect those he loves, to protect everything he holds dear. And yet…]

Running is easy, on principle. An easy escape, an easy salvation. But once you start, you can never stop, and one day you will find you have left them all behind. Clinging so hard to what you and I both know, in the end, is a lie.

[John’s words are perhaps harsh, direct, but his tone is gentle. He cares for this man, through Geralt yes, but also because they have come to know one another, over these years spent in each other’s company. This bright light. John does not wish to hurt him, but he supposes if anyone must it is better it is himself. Veritas. Familiar, but still outside the core of what John knows will always be family.]

Nothing is ever certain, Jaskier. Even here.

no worries ♥

[cointosser]

[It's a fair point. A sharp, annoying one -- like a splinter digging underneath his nail. Running must be continued, but he's sure he can do it. He has all the time in the world, doesn't he? He never need stop running.

It's that he would leave everyone behind... swept in the wave. Drowning in it. Or did they find something on the other side? A way to float?

Perhaps... he's tired of running. Not that he really recalls it, or how long it's been, but he does know a time that was all he ever did. Run away.

And he has never run away from the ones he's loved. Even when Geralt didn't know him, and that pain stabbed him every day.

He takes both of Vertias's hands in his own, squeezing them.] Then stay with me. While I cease my running.

[iustise]

[John’s eyes soften again, and his fingers tighten gently on his companion’s. Holding him steady against the oncoming tide. He had seen it in the other man’s expression. The pain of the recognition of truth, yes. But also the moment of his decision.

John understands the two of them are only here together by happenstance. Jaskier had not come to seek him out for this conversation. That he had been running haphazardly through the forest in the attempt to flee the weight of the truth crashing down on him. But perhaps Jaskier’s feet had led him here for a reason, nevertheless. For this conversation. For this company.]

My time is yours. [He says, gently.] My dear friend.

[cointosser]

[It is just like the moment with his Starman. The truth had crept closer and closer, but he had managed to slip away, right before the blade could strike. Before the hands could close around his throat.

He's always had a lucky streak. Survived what he shouldn't have been able to. Made too many close calls. The thing was, no man could avoid the storm forever.

Metaphorically. Or, as it crackled above them, the real one.

Verity.

The truth.]

We're real, aren't we, John? [John. A name that is both familiar as it is not. Not bland, but plain; he's heard it a hundred times before. John settles in his head, though, not Verity, in a way that makes sense to him -- like he has tilted his head and the edges of a painting have blended in the perfect way to reveal its secrets. When he thinks of his own, it is the same. Cadenza settles something sour, something fearful and unfamiliar.] The two of us? [The way he held John's hands, and how John held him back? Their tales of Geralt, their shared affections -- both for the Wolf's grousing and for his fondness?

Bile rises in his godly throat, an all-too-human reaction. His tightening hands, the sweat in his palms. Even the bite of tears in his eyes.] But not this. Not everything else.

[iustise]

[John nods in response to his companion’s questions. Observations. His own grip gentle while Jaskier clutches at him like a lifeline in the storm, for in many ways that’s what he is. He can see the confusion, the panic in the other’s eyes. But there is a new light of understanding dawning there as well, and John will stay with him for as long as he needs to kindle that flame alight.]

We are. [He agrees, softly.] We all are. But you are right.

[He glances up at the sky. The great rift, and the storm within.]

This place is a construct. A lie. And we do not belong here, Jaskier. No matter how perfect it has been made to seem.

[cointosser]

[He laughs, but it's quiet, and more like an exhalation. At least some things don't change.] I hate being right.

[He looks up to the sky above them -- even as the grass under his feet that always grows begins to turn sour and yellow -- and he can see them now. The things he was avoiding, the things he kept his eyes on the ground to avoid. The cracks between the lightning. The sky itself breaking, as if the world is ending.

And there, in the middle of it all, is the Singularity. The very thing that sent him to this world -- a world where he'd had a life he built from the ground-up, specifically the very life he wanted. One where he was himself, but with family. A house with Geralt, with Ciri. A connection with Yennefer. People in the Free Cities he looked after, that he loved. An office he shared with Alucard, their ridiculous collection of portraits of each other. The way they bloody saved the art world. Kol, the baker down the street, who once looked at him with fear.... until Jaskier worked him over enough for Kol to forgive him.

A place where horrible things happen, of course, but also wonderful ones -- all completely out of his control. Where he can meet new people, and watch them leave, and live without relying on the whims of humans to exist.

When he looks back to John, it strangely does feel like a weight has been lifted off of him. The idea of no longer being tied to prayers and wishes -- gods, that would be lovely, wouldn't it? He lives for being selfish.]

Then I should like to leave it. [It isn't perfect. It had all its cracks. And he will never be able to forget seeing Geralt and the Wolf no longer recognizing him. He can live in no perfect world where his closest friend in this world -- or any other -- could forget who he was through mere accident.

He smiles, and his hold on John is no longer a deathgrip.] I don't suppose I could convince you to wake me with a kiss? All good stories have one.

[iustise]

[John doesn’t know how or when their time in this place will end, but he feels it coming. Like a tug deep down at the very core of himself.

There are pieces of this place he will miss dearly, for all it was a construct. His time spent together with friends he had made along the way. Being Verity himself. The quiet moments in Geralt’s cabin, just the two of them together in the woods. The bonds he had built with others, like the man standing before him, holding his hand.

He supposes those will still be there, when things are returned to as they were. But he will have to nurse this, seek it out. See that it holds, once the walls of the territories are back in place.

He offers his companion a soft twist of a smile, his expression wry.]

I am afraid I am not so important a Lord as that — the title is mostly only one of courtesy. Though you may have one for luck, if you would like.

[Without waiting for a reply, John squeezes Jaskier’s fingers in his once more and leans forward to press a gentle kiss against his cheek.]

🎀? thank you for this!! it was a blast

[cointosser]

[Jaskier laughs. For a moment, he doesn't even know what the significance of the response is -- but it's such a ridiculous notion in the first place.]

I'm hardly a princess. The source of the kiss hardly matters, now does it?

[A lord, nor a prince, nor a beast. What he is is a man who means something deeply to Jaskier, because he means something even deeper to Geralt. He sees a being that holds Geralt's heart: someone he would do anything to protect, if he could, but he is the one being protected.

But Geralt would want that, too.

The kiss is so soft. Entirely too soft -- which makes it all the more real. He squeezes John's hand.] I can get by on luck.

[He may not remember the moment it happened. When he woke, or when the dream shattered, or if he was there long enough for the sky to break... but he does remember this. Warm hands, and a light kiss.]