EVENT #18: EMERGENCE - IC EVENT LOG

[abraxasmods]

Event #18 - Emergence

OOC Plotting Post ⦁ Pre-Event Info ⦁ Setting Descriptions

Whether voluntary or by force, you find yourself transported to the Singularity's crater. There probably aren't many resistors - officials have taken great pains to convince you to come voluntarily, reserving force as a last resort - but it's clear that everyone is required for this to work. It takes multiple mages to stabilize the portal, but you make it there in one piece. If you cooperate, you'll be asked to walk towards the ancient relic. If you resisted, you might be forced to do so while restrained. Regardless, a heavy fog soon descends around the area, obscuring you and your vision.

If you have thoughts of turning back, it's too late: for some of you, the second you step across the threshold, a force pulls at your chest and absorbs your psyche at once. For others, a mystical call beckons you to walk a little further before the same effect takes hold. And for a rare few, the call brings you to the Singularity itself, where you're compelled to touch it - and are subsequently swallowed up like the others.

The Horizon doesn't greet you like you might expect. Instead, something far stranger awaits.

Please communicate with your fellow players as needed! We also recommend discussing with us if you plan on a major environmental upheaval. As a rule of thumb, you should avoid changes to the landscape that will significantly alter the established map.

We've also posted comment sections for WORLDBUILDING and HANDWAVED submissions. Instructions can be found at the respective links.

Year 20,879

When you open your eyes, it feels like you've only blinked. If your body has transformed or you're someplace that shouldn't exist, it doesn't strike you as odd. You were always here. Everything around you was always here, and your physical alterations and new abilities - while perhaps not originally there - have been a part of you for a long, long time.

The world of Abraxas isn't completely foreign. Familiar territories remain, as well as the familiar faces of those with long lifespans. But a lot has changed in 800 years, too, especially where the Gods are concerned. Alongside the Old Gods of the Ancient Pantheon and the Cardinal Gods of the New Order, a third class of deities formed from you and your fellow Summoned: the Ecesis Gods of the Iterum Pantheon.

Politics, People, & Gods

Abraxas's political landscape remains complex, with continued tensions over land, worship, resources, and power. Nonetheless, since the Free Cities is no longer intent on destroying the Singularity, conflict over the ancient relic has lessened. All territories agree that the Godlands - and the Singularity - belong to the Gods themselves.

Beliefs and Gods

The active presence of the Summoned confirms the existence of the Gods. As a result, most Abraxans turn to the Summoned and other Gods for aid or protection. Extreme reverence exists in certain areas, especially on the Isle of the Lost and in parts of Solvunn. In other places, though, the Gods are merely acknowledged as a facet of life - a force that helps or hinders depending on temperament and should be respected, much like the sea. The Gods play a crucial role, sure, but so do the rain and stars. This is particularly true in the Feywilds, the Nether, and the Free Cities.

Small pockets of non-believers actively denounce the Gods. They claim the Summoned should be wiped from the world and the Singularity destroyed to prevent future invasions. Labeled dangerous heretics by Thorne and Solvunn, and "regressives" by the Free Cities - whose scientists and philosophers liken such thinking to be as foolish as declaring the sun unworthy or the earth to be flat - these people are shunned from society. In Solvunn, the consequences are more severe: heretics are exiled to the Barren, where they are subsumed by the desert, the Maw, or whichever Gods may punish them.

At the other end, some sects revere the Godlands so much that they believe feeding themselves to the relic will enhance Abraxas' good fortune for generations to come. Such cults are quite rare, but there are reports of mortals throwing themselves into the Singularity's crater and disintegrating as a gesture of their devotion to the divine.

International Relations

Due to the combined change in their priorities, Thorne and the Free Cities are less at odds. The Free Cities believes in protecting the Singularity; Thorne no longer seeks to control it. Nonetheless, mistrust flares on occasion.

While things are peaceful during these three months and have been for a few decades, Abraxas hasn't found a cure for war in the Gods. Conflict has broken out in the past and will again. Eyes are on the Nether as it grows in power, and who knows how long Thorne will be content with its losses? Will they convince the Velan Republic to reunite and turn against the Free Cities? For now, though, the territories have found their stride and appear more interested in progress than fighting.

Magic & The Singularity

Magic is relatively unchanged and is a vital part of Abraxan life. The small kingdom of Thorne continues to practice Academic Magic. Meanwhile, Wild Magic plays the same important role in the Velan Republic (formally Nott). Meanwhile, the Free Cities has developed New Magic further. The goal of decoupling magic from technology is less of a focus. Instead, researchers are eager to find new ways to fuse magic and innovation, including aspects of the Gods. Portable shrines, for example, are popular with traveling merchants.

High Magic no longer exists as a specific school of magic now that offerings, pacts, and requests to the Gods are a part of everyday life across Abraxas. Solvunn has returned to its roots, using the ancient Academic Magic practiced by the Lunae for standard tasks while turning to the Gods for greater blessings.

The Singularity has been relatively stable for the past two or three centuries. While occasional disturbances rumble, for the most part, the presence of the Summoned has strengthened it, alleviating its displeasure and ensuring that Abraxas - and possibly the universe itself - continues to exist. Indeed, academic writings from Thorne and the Free Cities across time suggest that the Singularity's devouring of the world has considerably slowed. It is now as much of a threat as the eventual collapse of the sun, something that is bound to occur but not for eons.

Of course, this could quickly change if the Summoned or any other Gods provoke the Singularity by rejecting its connection or denying its magic...so all should take care not to upset the nature of things.

Old World, New World

The map of Abraxas has undergone some notable shifts, although many names and places are the same.

Setting descriptions are HERE for your reference.

Mechapolis, the Witchwood, and the Barren/the Maw contain prompts related to the event itself. Information about those areas can be found under "Exploring the Land" in the section The World as the Divine (Month 1-2).

Month 1-2: Submersion

What do you last remember? Well, that depends. You might recall most things perfectly clearly. You might have new memories that don't feel new at all. Or, you might only remember the most recent year or two. Regardless, there is something missing: an important face, a handful of key events...maybe you don't remember having ever lived anywhere except Abraxas. You might find this unsettling, or you might accept it as just the way things are.

You've transcended those old memories, anyhow. You feel a little distant from the person you were centuries ago, and you most likely look different, too. Perhaps you've sprouted giant wings, become a formless void, or you're now a shapeshifter with no permanent appearance. You've gained a substantial amount of power and influence, the type that people of this world attribute to the Gods.

The first half is a more sandbox-like environment designed for scenarios that emphasize CR and personal character moments. Active conflict between the emergent reality and the world will not arise until the second half.

The World as the Divine

The mortals have bestowed you with a title and possibly a new alias. Do you know your mortal name anymore? Some of you might've taken on a new identity, or you might have held very tightly onto who you were. Regardless, your abilities have grown. Your new powers and appearance are as unique as your dominion, influenced by your interests, subconscious desires, or personal relationships.

While in your full God form, you'll move through the world unperceived. Only when you're sought by a mortal - followers, believers, cultists - can you consciously make your complete divine presence known. To be seen freely by all, you'll have to take on a less overwhelming shape to the mortal gaze. Those who have met the Old Gods or Cardinal Gods in the past finally understand why they seldom reveal their true selves, often arriving in hazy visions or speaking through animals.

Exploring the Land

◎ The Witchwood

As the Summoned continued to ascend, their power began to coalesce, creating a new ecosystem never seen before. The dense woods, originally a temperate climate, warmed and grew into a thriving jungle. The air is humid and heavy with magic, the sky locked into an eternal sunset. Reds and oranges filter through the thick canopy. Birdcall and animal cries echo throughout the jungle. Trees and rocks seemingly move at night, meaning the Witchwood is impossible to map. Foolhardy souls who venture too deep are rarely seen again - unless divine intervention prevents a tragic fate from befalling them. Perhaps one of those intervening Gods is you?

The most dangerous beasts in the Witchwood are the demigod spawns. Creatures born from the Summoned, demigods are powerful enough to affect the world around them should they ever leave the magic-encased forest. See Impact & Consequences for more details on the demigods and how, as the Summoned, you can help maintain Abraxas' ecosystem.

◎ Mechapolis

Heartwood Syndrome persisted in Fomalhaut long after the quarantined population died out. The port city stood as a monument to loss for nearly a century until about 200 years in when the Summoned gained notable influence as Gods. This resulted in a slow but steady acceptance of the Singularity's power as a positive force for potential advancement. New Magic boomed, leading to increased sophistication in technology and the refinement of automatons.

Originally designed to clear and guard Fomalhaut, they were eventually used to rebuild it. Fomalhaut became known as the City of Machines and was renamed Mechapolis. Although humans are barred from entering for safety, the automatons gather soil and air samples for study and perform fishing duties. The clockworks require routine maintenance and must return to a hub city or outpost for recalibration. Clockwork birds are used to communicate with Mechapolis. They can broadcast through the Free Cities's primitive "radio" towers.

You can enhance clockwork performance, boosting the towers or providing additional energy to the automatons. Scientists often have "rituals" when performing maintenance or experiments to earn the Gods' favor, hoping this will prevent their inventions from breaking down.

◎ The Barren/The Badlands

Once contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities, the Badlands was split into two by a large ravine shortly after Thorne retreated to Hayle. With neither side able to breach the gap, Solvunn naturally laid claim to the western half while the Free Cities retained its eastern half. On the eastern side, the chasm swallowed several well-known bandit camps and the presence of a new entity further drove them away. Bandits now occupy the mountains northeast of Aquila. Due to the entity's threat, the Free Cities increased its military presence in the Badlands to keep careless or foolish travelers from straying too far.

Meanwhile, Solvunn has named its portion of the wasteland the Barren and sought the Gods' assistance to form an enchanted forest. Those who enter are lost forever. Meant for more than just protection, the forest and the Barren serve as a place of exile. Heretics are taken into the woods and left to wander towards the Barren's harsh desert. There, they will face the elements, be devoured by the waiting Maw...or encounter a God.

As a God, you can lead the exiles to their salvation or doom, but choose carefully: the Maw is hungry and must be fed. These exiles want you dead. They don't care for you, and should their lack of faith spread, they might revive attempts to destroy the Singularity - and with it, your home. Is it so wrong to leave them to their fate? On the other hand, saving them might convert them by demonstrating your kindness.

◎ The Maw

The Maw lurks beneath the chasm dividing the Badlands. Named for its gaping jaws, the Maw waits at the widest part of a jagged canyon, mouth open and salivating in the desert heat. Rows and rows of teeth as tall as a man spiral downward into a bloodshot throat. When sated, it retreats deep into the gully, barely visible aside from the shine of a tooth. When hungry, it draws closer to the surface. Hot and heavy winds often carry the putrid scent of its half-digested meals.

Solvunn is not the only territory that uses the Maw. The Free Cities will occasionally march criminals and bandits in that direction, as well, tossing them into the gaping mouth, although this method of execution is much rarer. Desperate exiles from Solvunn will try to cross the chasm despite the danger. None ever make it - at least, not without divine intervention.

Horizon, "Death," and Dormancy

Your domain in the Horizon is no longer constrained by size. How it's changed depends on you. The more detached from your mortality, the more likely it'll have surrealist elements: bizarre statues, physics-defying architecture, odd visual or psychological effects. The Horizon feels like home to all Gods, although you ought to take care not to heed its call beyond reason. Shutting yourself off from the physical world can result in unintended consequences...but completely refusing to enter the Horizon will do the same.

Additionally, Gods are beyond true death, but that doesn't mean you can act with impunity. Engaging in an exhaustive battle with other Gods can weaken you into dormancy. In this state, you will enter an ethereal void inside the Singularity. As you heal, you'll slowly be able to return to your Horizon domain and then the physical world once more. Depending on the extent of the damage, this process could take anywhere from months to decades. For instance, losing your head could take a few months, total dismemberment might take a year, and being vaporized into atoms can take a few decades.

Mortals cannot achieve this level of damage, even if they seemingly "succeed" in striking true. Only a God can weaken another God into dormancy. If a mortal removes your head, you can merely pick it up and put it back on.

Impact & Consequences

In the early years of your ascension, you might've wondered why the existing Gods seemingly intervened so little. Why did they not demonstrate their powers more blatantly over the thousands of years? Is it apathy? A desire to watch rather than act? As you come into your abilities, you realize that the Singularity and the universe are significantly more delicate than you thought. You begin to understand why the Gods have behaved the way they do.

Of course, whether you care to keep the world (and yourself) in balance is another story, but to be sure, some of the other Gods and the Summoned do - and you may have to defend your choices.

The equilibrium mechanic is described in OOC terms HERE. The Singularity and a character's ascension will not inherently sway them one way or the other. Any temptations will result from individual personality and development.

Instability Effects

To maintain the universe's equilibrium, you need to be cautious of when and how you interfere when using your status to alter the state of the world. Conversely, you'll also need to take care not to withdraw entirely. Several Gods have undergone periods of instability, though others haven't. Which category you fall under is up to you. It depends on who you are, your experiences, and your desires.

◎ Should you refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE your Godhood or enter the Horizon, you'll find yourself losing time. You may forget how you got from one place to another, or names you knew yesterday slip your mind. Lapses in memory or time can be temporary or permanent, but one thing they are is certainly confusing. With magic building inside you and nowhere for it to go, your power will begin to spill over, causing the Singularity to exhibit bursts of power that spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

◎ Should you give into the temptation to OVERINDULGE your Godhood or retreat to the Horizon for excessive periods, you'll lose more of yourself and your history. You may make decisions that feel unlike you, forget larger chunks of old memories, or struggle to distinguish what's real. Unrestrained use of magic will cause you to absorb yet more power, causing the Singularity to lose power in brief spurts, which can spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

These effects can be halted or even reversed in some cases. You might need someone's help to bring you back or convince you there's another way, or maybe you're the one seeking others out to assist. What you do soon understand is that your ability to manage your powers and stabilize your connection to the Horizon directly affects the Singularity and Abraxas...something that may have been true the moment you were summoned.

Demigod Spawns

Under the red haze of the Witchwood, monstrous creatures known as demigods or spawns emerge from crimson waterfalls and claw their out through the mossy soil. Born out of instabilities caused by careless actions from all Gods, they're usually contained to the Witchwood. For the most part, the older Gods - and the Summoned, if they choose - keep the demigods from leaving. However, now and again, one or two might escape, damaging towns, destroying villages, or causing ecological destruction in ways that are similar to natural disasters.

Demigods are not sentient. How they look can vary, but their appearances are often corrupted and disturbing: twisted animals, amorphous blobs, or alien-like parasites. They may resemble a monster you recognize from home.

Defeating one is possible but a challenge even for the Gods. Most crucially, you cannot kill your own spawn. Another God must deliver the killing blow, so working together is imperative. Should too many demigod spawns be allowed to invade the Witchwood, they will overwhelm and disrupt the Singularity further. Culling them is the only way to maintain stability.

You can submit demigod spawns you create to the WORLDBUILDING section if you want. Similar to using character powers, just keep the scale of destruction at a reasonable level.

Hearing Echoes

Echoes are a form of prayer that resonates through your connection with the Singularity. Solvunn has dedicated a monument to where the "First Echo" was heard, though the accuracy of this is debatable. Like the Network, you can hear an Echo regardless of where you are and can shut them out with concentration. However, your ties to Godhood may compel you to listen every so often. Mortals can entreat you through more formal methods (rituals, offerings, seasonal ceremonies) or in a moment of duress or desperation. They may seek you specifically or call to any God who will listen.

You can answer or ignore these cries for help as you like, but your choices carry consequences. Answer too many too eagerly, and your increased interference in mortal lives can upset the world's equilibrium - and the Singularity. Ignore your impact on the world, and your refusal to accept your ascension will equally destabilize the land as prayers go unheard.

Interacting with Other Gods

The Old Gods and the Cardinal Gods are an equal part of this world. For the most part, you coexist peacefully, though personal pacts and tensions can play a role. Each of you is aware of the impact of your actions on the Singularity: extreme displays of power are reserved for substantial transgressions, considering the price it carries.

Further, the older Gods have also walked the earth for centuries before you came. To them, you're still young, and rising against one of them won't end well for you. Nonetheless, many older Gods are more interested in giving advice or guiding you, ensuring the health of the Singularity and the universe so as not to doom all of you - Gods and mortals alike - to the void.

You can REQUEST AN INTERACTION with a God. Interactions will be brief but informative.

You will not be able to request a specific God. For logistical reasons, we have curated the list of Gods available ahead of time. However, we'll do our best to pick one from the pool that suits the purpose of your request.

Month 3: Awakening

Over the past 2 months, you've existed in the emergent reality without question. As you enter the third month, however, everything you've known over the past many centuries begins to shift. You might decide to investigate further, wondering if there's more out there that you aren't seeing. Alternatively, you might choose to ignore it, believing that your awakening is damaging the world and your life.

Catalysts

A catalyst can occur at any time through any circumstance. Do you see a familiar face you've forgotten in the eyes of a stranger? Do you recall a moment in your past while watching the mortals? Has a friend approached you specifically to try and remind you of the things you've forgotten?

With each memory returned you'll gain another piece of yourself. Depending on how much you've lost and how hard you'll cling to this reality, the effect may be clarifying or it might cause you distress and confusion. You might begin to encounter temporal cracks: buildings or areas that normally don't exist will flicker in and out of existence, or your reflection will briefly show an image of you from before your transformations took hold.

If you allow yourself to doubt your abilities or divinity, you might have trouble controlling your powers. If you've made alterations to your Horizon domain, it might start to revert to its original design.

These cracks are difficult to ignore, but if you bury your head, you can make them disappear - briefly, at least.

Shattered Skies

The effects go beyond the individual. As more of you and your fellow Gods reawaken, the sky also begins to form cracks that spread like broken glass. Through the fractures, you glimpse flashes of lightning and a swirling fog. The fissures only grow larger.

Soon, you realize you can see the Singularity itself, reflected upside-down in the crater. Disconcerting though it is, it may serve as proof that something is very wrong. Of course, you can also refuse to acknowledge this disturbance, closing your eyes to the crumbling sky. Doing so will let you remain unaware to the very end, but your friends who are seeking the truth might find your denial distressing.

The sky won't hold, though. Eventually, it does shatter completely - and you awaken abruptly, your body and others scattered several feet away from the Singularity's crater as if you were physically thrown out. The fog begins to dissipate. The lightning has stopped, the unrelenting storms fading across Abraxas. Whatever you went through, it seems to have done exactly what the territories hoped: stabilize the Singularity.

Characters will be returned home afterward. They will be thanked for their assistance regardless of if they cooperated.

Resistors will not face any consequences, as long as they don't cause excessive trouble upon their return. Officials will issue an apology for the heavy-handed action, stating that they saw no other way to keep the world safe. With the portals and weather returning to normal, it does seem to have worked...even if characters may not find the method agreeable.

---

Comments

— ★ sam

[assembles]

[ More and more, it feels like normal life for them just isn't possible.

For Steve, it began with people granting him accolades for all the work he did around the Cities. A normal enough thing, even though he did everything in his power to reject the medals they tried to give him, or the statues they built to commemorate his work. Over time, that attention and respect from the people of the Free Cities has led to the development of his Horizon-gifted powers, which have reached a level he isn't always comfortable with.

Then, there was the lack of aging. Obviously, people started to notice. Not just him, but all the Summoned. A few of them have also gone through some physical changes, and not just a pair of horns or a change in eye color or something small like that.

He and Sam have gone back and forth on it. They're changing, their very bodies warping as their power grows, and how are they supposed to handle it? Steve never asked for all this, not when he's always just wanted to live among people and help out the little guy.

You don't get powers and not use them for good, though. That goes against everything he knows, and so round and round they go, trying to decide what's best as they resist feeding into the whispers of godhood.

Steve still can't turn away from people in need of help, though, and so he returns to their home in the city only after checking in on things at the mining camp. It's in much better shape than how he first found it, that's for sure. There was a particularly difficult project on their plates right now, a mine shaft which collapsed unexpectedly and needs to be cleared out. Steve had granted the workers the inspiration to move forward with it.

Still, for as long as they can, they'll fight for their normalcy and their routines. Hence, the house. Steve grabs for his keys and unlocks the front door, then steps inside. ]

Hey — I'm home.

[ He sets down a few things on the little table near the door, then walks into the living space. No Sam. He moves over to the stairs that lead up to the bedroom. ]

Sam? You up there?

[ Maybe he went out somewhere, although they'd already talked about dinner plans. Hopefully there wasn't some kind of emergency, but Steve goes to settle on the couch and give it a few minutes before he jumps to any conclusions. ]

[falcony]

[ that doesn't mean they don't try.

and they do - try that is. even when sam knows, or at least has been forced to recognize, how futile it turns out to be. they try and stay at mag's for as long as they can, which turns out to be longer than they should. sam watches mag age, and then pass, and then tries to carry the inn on in her name. but as the medals pile up and the battles continue, and with both of them (not including the other summoned making a name for themselves) drawing more eyes than either of them really want, it becomes... well. dangerous, in a lot of ways. a nuisance in many others.

eventually, they move out. eventually, steve is steve for long enough that all of cadens starts to idolize him. eventually, sam starts to recognize the sheer way their abilities and powers are changing them, and begins to pull back. it's subtle enough that he thinks (maybe, perhaps, stupidly) no one can tell. pulling back on his calming is the hardest, but thankfully he's in a good enough position most people listen to him all the same. his flight, his control of wind, his healing - it's a decision he makes every day, and then every day after.

he hits a stride, even as he and steve start to bicker a little more often. even when sam starts to recognize his own...he doesn't want to say it's off, he doesn't want to say he's off, but their stride is not as in sync. still, they love each other, sam loves steve, and he can make it work. he can make all of this work. maybe the difficulties are just that he's not built to be turning a hundred, and then a hundred ten. and maybe that's what's wrong, he's just not meant to be this old, and that's why he seems to be...forgetting. or, rather, not forgetting, but losing things. losing time. losing trains of thought. he supposes being upwards of a hundred and fifty means that hours in a day don't really mean as much, and he should be happy with the simple fact he's not in a wheelchair or old folks home or something, but... it's hard. it is. and he knows he hasn't been his best.

they will work this out, though. he knows they will. even today, when sam is just going about chores - having been out himself on errands, on helping out with a few more local issues and some families of soldiers who'd recently got sent off to investigate things out in the badlands - and just made it home an hour, maybe an hour and a half earlier, feeling...

off isn't the right word, but it's also all he can say. because he's fairly certain he only got home about an hour ago, but maybe it was more than that? maybe less? he doesn't remember how he got upstairs or what he's been doing since, but his gut, his stomach, it's upended. it's off-kilter.

he hears steve downstairs, hears him call for him, but he can't...he can't speak just yet. he can't form the words. it's another one, two, three, maybe five or six minutes before he is able to - his eyes wide as he stairs at his hands in the bedroom they share together. as he must be seeing things, but he's suddenly not sure, and...okay, actually. he needs steve up there. he needs steve's opinion. ]

Steve? Babe- up. Up here. Can you...? [ sam watches as the edges of his hands go a little fuzzy, fade in and out, and he swallows. shit, shit, shit, if something is going on with the singularity again- ] Come up here?

[assembles]

[ No human is meant to be this old, no.

Steve's thought about it a lot as the time has passed and their seeming immortality has become more and more obvious. There's a reason that they have a set lifespan, isn't there? Sure, there are other races like Asgardians who live to be thousands and thousands of years old, but they're built for it, somehow. Time passes differently for them, and maybe it's that the days don't weigh as heavy, or a year for them can sometimes feel like an hour, but they're meant to live that long.

For someone like Steve, who in many ways had already believed he was living on borrowed time after the Valkyrie's crash, this is too much. It's too much for Sam too, that has become obvious over the years. And Steve will admit, there are days when he wonders if their stubborn insistence on remaining as human as they can even when they're obviously now something more than that is doing more harm than good.

They're making it work, though, or so Steve thought.

And then, all of a sudden, Sam's voice sounds through the house.

Steve immediately stands from the couch, and almost instantly he knows that something is wrong. It's not just the hint of something in Sam's voice, an edge to it he can pick out even from this distance, but also the fact that he waited so long to respond to him. Even if he'd been in the bathroom, he would have yelled back. Or if he'd been napping, Steve's voice would have woken him up. So why—

It's fine. No reason to panic. ] Coming! [ He starts up the stairs and shoves aside any worries he might have, at least for the space of time it takes to reach the bedroom. There he finds Sam sitting on the edge of their bed, but something is very wrong.

His whole self is faded at the edges, like a washed out photograph. More than that, he's flickering. He'll disappear, if only for a split second, like a dying lightbulb in a dark hallway. ]

Sam? [ Steve isn't able to keep the urgency out of his tone, though he knows when Sam hears that it will probably only make things worse. His brow furrowed, he continues to watch the man he loves more than anything flit in and out of existence, his own face awash with concern. ] Sam, what... what is this?

[falcony]

[ maybe that's just it- maybe, in a way, they've doomed themselves to this fate. humans are not meant to live this long, aren't meant to see the decades upon decades upon decades build into centuries, build into even longer, and aren't meant to live through this much. but by staying human, by fighting each day to remain tethered to that reality that perhaps shouldn't still be, is what the issue is.

maybe it is their sheer stubbornness that is causing them harm.

sam doesn't know- his gut tells him that losing their humanity will only cause them, and everyone else, harm. that by becoming what he's watching his peers become, they lose the best way for them to help others. but he doesn't know, not really. his gut tells him one thing, but then he's left wondering if his gut was prepared to watch a hundred years pass, to watch politics and morals and lives come and go. he's always trusted his gut, always trusted his heart- but as of late he feels like he's questioning even those.

so he does what he can- he holds on to what he knows, helps where he thinks its needed, and refuses to answer the call of godhood. refuses to do any of it with any cheats, or shortcuts, because if he can't do it as him then what is the point?

well. apparently this. sam watches and feels a distantly familiar unsettling feeling in his stomach. he watches his hands fade, like the lines of a watercolor painting when you add too much water, and- no. no, he does not feel the same. he can't feel the same. it can't be happening again because the odds of that...

he watches his hand flicker, not quite connecting that it must be his whole body, too. he blinks, and steve is standing there, right in the doorway, saying his name with a panic that sam feels all the way into his gut. ]

Steve? [ he doesn't mean to match the same tone, but something like fear fills his throat. he swallows, tries to force it down, as his eyes go back to his hands. he turns them over, tries to find something about it that might help, but it doesn't. ] I don't- I don't know. I don't know what's happening. You... you see it, right?

[assembles]

[ It's rare for either of them to let any fear show, whether through a flash in their eyes or by clawing its way up their throats. Steve can hear it loud in clear in Sam's voice, though, and he knows that it echoed his own.

The memory comes crashing back into him before he can fully understand the context, but it drives him forward, across the room where he snatches Sam's hand out of the air and holds it tight. He stares down at it, looking for any sign of gray of black dust. Even without it there, the reality is still the same: it looks like Sam is threatening to blink out of existence. ]

I see it.

[ He hates to think of how it must feel, to become indistinct, to lose one's sense of place in the world. Steve doesn't want to make things worse by asking too many questions when Sam is just as confused as he is. His shoulders slump as he moves to sit on the couch at Sam's side, still gripping his hand as if his touch will be enough to keep it solid and extant.

Even though he can feel that warmth periodically disappear under his grip.

He stares Sam in the face, swallowing hard as he braces for when more of him starts to flicker out of his sight. His eyes, his mouth, his everything. ]

Whatever this is, Sam, we have to nip it in the bud. Now.

[falcony]

[ sam blinks, and Steve is there. he doesn't know if it's the speed that the other man has moved or if he's losing time here, too, and that thought shoots a kind of tension through him as soon as Steve snatches his hand out of the air. sam jumps, like he almost wasn't expecting the contact, but that's not quite right either - because he should.

Steve's hand feels... is it cold? no. no it's as warm as ever, but sam loses contact with that cold when his own form flickers. that's what he's feeling now, the loss of sensation however brief, and then the return of it again. Steve sees it too, which- it is a comfort, in some ways, because at least this isn't sam's mid, some nightmare come to life, some illusion from the singularity. except that the relief that he feels is very quickly outshone by the uncertainty.

when Steve pulls him over to the couch, sam comes with him - distracted, staring at where Steve's hand is still wrapped around his own, as if the contrast of seeing them both is what makes this set in. what makes this real.

he swallows, nods, because okay. okay. get a grip, wilson. get a grip. if they're going to figure out what's happening, he can't panic. ]

I know, I know- It's got to be something with the Singularity, or- the Horizon. Something. [ there's a moment there where sam is still looking at their hands, before his eyes move up to Steve's, before he sees the mixture of emotions come across the other man's eyes. sam's lips purse, and he swallows, centers himself. ] You're not... this isn't happening to you, is it.

i meant the bed not the couch rip WELL WHATEVER they're sitting somewhere

[assembles]

[ The Singularity, or the Horizon, or something.

It feels like they've been saying that in speculation for decades now, because they have. And for the most part, the Singularity is always at the root of their problems, causing the world around them to shift around or behave in strange ways. Whether it's their dreams bleeding over, or strange powers that have only grown in strength over time, it always goes back to the Singularity.

So it stands to reason that yeah, it's what gives them their so-called divinity too.

Steve heaves out a breath from deep in his lungs, his grip on Sam's hand only tightening as if he can prevent the phasing with sheer force of will alone.

He can't. ]

No, it isn't. [ Steve states the words flatly as he returns Sam's gaze, his brow creasing more and more as the reality sets in. ] We could ask the others, see if anyone else has experienced or seen something like this, but...

[ That would only delay the inevitable. He feels that cold emptiness that hits every time that Sam's hand disappears from his grip, and glances down again.

His voice comes out like a wire pulled taut. ]

I think we know what the culprit is.

klsjhdlksdj SHHHH THEY CAN BE ON THE BED ITS FINE.

[falcony]

[ some part of sam knows how futile it is to mention it at all. the singularity has been a kind of catch-all target. if anything has gone wrong, if anything has shifted, if there is anything they haven't understood, or that has changed their abilities, or caused problems-

but Steve sighs and sam... sam knows what he's getting at before the words even leave his mouth. it sets off sam's own stubbornness, tightening his jaw a bit where they sit. Steve doesn't let go of him, tightens his own grip even more as sam feels his ends fraying, feels a tug and a letting go and a coming back all at once. ]

Do we. [ it isn't that sam is angry, because the undercurrent of fear and uncertainty is softening any reaction he might be having, but he also doesn't... he can't admit that. even if he knows what it is Steve is referring to, or is pretty certain he does, that can't be it. because then that would mean the choice, the option, their agency in all this is all but a moot point.

his hand tightens around Steve's, a kind of unspoken frustration coupled with the fact sam doesn't want to let go. doesn't know if he can. ]

Steve-

[assembles]

[ This is an argument they've had before, one that has never truly been resolved. Steve hates the idea of giving into something that's been imposed on him just as much as Sam does, but he also didn't like the idea of not using these powers he's been giving, of just letting them languish when he could use them to help people. He can't do anything to change their perception of him as some sort of god; his words, no matter how he delivers them, haven't been able to stop their worship.

It's happening, whether he wants it or not. And it's happened to Sam too, because of course Sam is also helping. But his resistance when it comes to using his powers means that now he's coming apart at the seams, and they're at a point where Sam can't just deny that any more. ]

We do.

[ He pulls his hand away, lifting both up to grip Sam by his shoulders instead. When they're actually corporeal, anyway. ]

I know it's not what we wanted, but there's no stopping it now. If you keep resisting, there's gonna be less and less of you left.

[ Is that what Sam wants? Would he rather vanish than accept what they're becoming? Steve understands that sort of stubbornness, he does, but...

He stares into Sam's eyes, his own expression twitching with pain each time that Sam's face phases out of his view.

His voice hitches as he talks, as much as he tries to hold back on letting that choked sound come through. ] I don't know if I can handle that.

[falcony]

[ it's an argument they've had before, and it's one they'll continue to have, if this elongated existence is anything to go by. sam doesn't know what to do with it, with this years and these powers, with the feeling of becoming something entirely other pressing down on him.

and maybe that's the worst part - sam, who has always known who he was even if he struggled at times with who he wanted to be. who he needed to be. but this? all of this? felt like he was being forced into someone else, something else. zemo had once asked him if he'd have taken the serum, if given the chance, and sam had known without hesitation he wouldn't have. wouldn't have considered it.

over the years, it's become clear to sam that he was never given the chance to say no to this, and it's possible that's the worst part.

or - rather - it's now tied with the way steve looks at him now. the way his voices hitches. sam reaches up, his fingers curling around steve's forearms and despite the conversation, despite the way he feels unsettled, feels himself fading and snapping back, sam can't help but focus on how cool steve's skin feels. always tends to feel, these days. ]

I don't want this. [ because whether or not steve speaks the words aloud, sam hears them. knows what he's asking without asking. ] But I can't sit and let all this just happen to us, either. You know I can't.

[ sam holds steve's eyes, though it's hard to tell how much of that time is spent with his fading, with the flickering of his form reflected back to him in steve's eyes. he can see it there, can see each twitch, each shot of pain. sam tries to squeeze his hand around steve's forearms, but even that doesn't feel solid enough to get a good grip.

he takes a breath - shaky, thick with fear, but an attempt to settle them both all the same. steve is scared, it's something sam has seen before (though not often), and without thinking about himself, sam reaches with one of his hands to wrap it around the back of steve's neck, trying to be comforting when he knows he's the source of it. ] I'm not going anywhere. There has to be something else we can do.

[assembles]

[ It's true that everything that's been happening to them and the ways they've been altered by this place, by the Singularity, it was all done without their say-so. Granted, it seems to just be the nature of existing here at all, and if they had ever found a way home or even been sent back there by chance, they would have avoided this.

They also would have been separated, shot back to different parts in the timeline with no guarantee they would see each other ever again. Steve's memories of back home have become fuzzy over the years, but he knows that much is true.

Neither option was ideal.

But Abraxas is where they've found themselves, for better or worse, and that means they need to deal with this. ]

I know.

[ He heaves out his own shaky breath and closes his eyes when Sam's hand finds the back of his neck. He doesn't want to see the flickering for just a few seconds, but he can still feel the alternating presence and absence of Sam's touch against his neck.

It's rare for Steve to be scared or to show any sort of weakness, it's true, but even if he wanted to lean his weight up against Sam's, that would just risk him pitching over onto the bed when Sam became indistinct again.

After another pause, his eyes open. He clenches his jaw as he's faced with Sam's visage again, there one second and gone the next. ]

You know me, I'm always for finding another way if that's an option. But I'm gonna be honest, I don't see how we stop this. I'm willing to look for some other solution with you, but I just don't know how long we've got before you're...

[ He trails off and shakes his head. How long until Sam can't even really have a conversation with him, because he's more nonexistent than existent? Steve's stomach clenches up at that possibility, but it's not like he can force Sam to use his powers either. Once again, he's being made to feel helpless. ]

[falcony]

[ that is the complicated truth, isn't it? that even if they knew how to get home, even if there was a way for them to be able to get back to their timelines, the reality is knowing that back home - back with sarah, and his nephews, and his life, steve is not there. steve will not be there, except in name, in a reputation that sam will step into every time he puts on that suit and picks up that shield.

and as the decades have gone on, as they've found themselves here for far longer than sam was even alive, that steadfast hope to return home has... well. it hasn't waned, exactly, but sam has noticed how the priorities of it have started to shift. it's started to become less and less important they found their way home, and more and more important that this home worked. that the people, the other summoned, were safe- or as safe as they could be allowed.

that confidence, this place, is what trembles within sam now. what he feels the need to hold through, to grit his teeth and hold steady. but he can see it in steve even now, that where normally sam could be steady for them both, steve won't lean fully into it. can't, with how sam goes cold and then warm again, is solid and then not. he can see steve try, to lean in and then to settle back. ]

We will find it. I'm not losing myself to this- and I always come back. Back to you. [ he clenches his own jaw, then, not pulling away but sitting back. he knows what steve is suggesting, knows what the easiest answer here would be, but he- he can't.

he can't. ] I'm not made to be a god, Steve. You know that.