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ABRAXAS MODS ([personal profile] abraxasmods) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2024-04-17 10:07 am
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EVENT #18: EMERGENCE - IC EVENT LOG

Event #18 - Emergence
Whether voluntary or by force, you find yourself transported to the Singularity's crater. There probably aren't many resistors - officials have taken great pains to convince you to come voluntarily, reserving force as a last resort - but it's clear that everyone is required for this to work. It takes multiple mages to stabilize the portal, but you make it there in one piece. If you cooperate, you'll be asked to walk towards the ancient relic. If you resisted, you might be forced to do so while restrained. Regardless, a heavy fog soon descends around the area, obscuring you and your vision.

If you have thoughts of turning back, it's too late: for some of you, the second you step across the threshold, a force pulls at your chest and absorbs your psyche at once. For others, a mystical call beckons you to walk a little further before the same effect takes hold. And for a rare few, the call brings you to the Singularity itself, where you're compelled to touch it - and are subsequently swallowed up like the others.

The Horizon doesn't greet you like you might expect. Instead, something far stranger awaits.

Please communicate with your fellow players as needed! We also recommend discussing with us if you plan on a major environmental upheaval. As a rule of thumb, you should avoid changes to the landscape that will significantly alter the established map.

We've also posted comment sections for WORLDBUILDING and HANDWAVED submissions. Instructions can be found at the respective links.

Year 20,879
When you open your eyes, it feels like you've only blinked. If your body has transformed or you're someplace that shouldn't exist, it doesn't strike you as odd. You were always here. Everything around you was always here, and your physical alterations and new abilities - while perhaps not originally there - have been a part of you for a long, long time.

The world of Abraxas isn't completely foreign. Familiar territories remain, as well as the familiar faces of those with long lifespans. But a lot has changed in 800 years, too, especially where the Gods are concerned. Alongside the Old Gods of the Ancient Pantheon and the Cardinal Gods of the New Order, a third class of deities formed from you and your fellow Summoned: the Ecesis Gods of the Iterum Pantheon.
Politics, People, & Gods
Abraxas's political landscape remains complex, with continued tensions over land, worship, resources, and power. Nonetheless, since the Free Cities is no longer intent on destroying the Singularity, conflict over the ancient relic has lessened. All territories agree that the Godlands - and the Singularity - belong to the Gods themselves.
Beliefs and Gods
The active presence of the Summoned confirms the existence of the Gods. As a result, most Abraxans turn to the Summoned and other Gods for aid or protection. Extreme reverence exists in certain areas, especially on the Isle of the Lost and in parts of Solvunn. In other places, though, the Gods are merely acknowledged as a facet of life - a force that helps or hinders depending on temperament and should be respected, much like the sea. The Gods play a crucial role, sure, but so do the rain and stars. This is particularly true in the Feywilds, the Nether, and the Free Cities.

Small pockets of non-believers actively denounce the Gods. They claim the Summoned should be wiped from the world and the Singularity destroyed to prevent future invasions. Labeled dangerous heretics by Thorne and Solvunn, and "regressives" by the Free Cities - whose scientists and philosophers liken such thinking to be as foolish as declaring the sun unworthy or the earth to be flat - these people are shunned from society. In Solvunn, the consequences are more severe: heretics are exiled to the Barren, where they are subsumed by the desert, the Maw, or whichever Gods may punish them.

At the other end, some sects revere the Godlands so much that they believe feeding themselves to the relic will enhance Abraxas' good fortune for generations to come. Such cults are quite rare, but there are reports of mortals throwing themselves into the Singularity's crater and disintegrating as a gesture of their devotion to the divine.
International Relations
Due to the combined change in their priorities, Thorne and the Free Cities are less at odds. The Free Cities believes in protecting the Singularity; Thorne no longer seeks to control it. Nonetheless, mistrust flares on occasion.

While things are peaceful during these three months and have been for a few decades, Abraxas hasn't found a cure for war in the Gods. Conflict has broken out in the past and will again. Eyes are on the Nether as it grows in power, and who knows how long Thorne will be content with its losses? Will they convince the Velan Republic to reunite and turn against the Free Cities? For now, though, the territories have found their stride and appear more interested in progress than fighting.
Magic & The Singularity
Magic is relatively unchanged and is a vital part of Abraxan life. The small kingdom of Thorne continues to practice Academic Magic. Meanwhile, Wild Magic plays the same important role in the Velan Republic (formally Nott). Meanwhile, the Free Cities has developed New Magic further. The goal of decoupling magic from technology is less of a focus. Instead, researchers are eager to find new ways to fuse magic and innovation, including aspects of the Gods. Portable shrines, for example, are popular with traveling merchants.

High Magic no longer exists as a specific school of magic now that offerings, pacts, and requests to the Gods are a part of everyday life across Abraxas. Solvunn has returned to its roots, using the ancient Academic Magic practiced by the Lunae for standard tasks while turning to the Gods for greater blessings.

The Singularity has been relatively stable for the past two or three centuries. While occasional disturbances rumble, for the most part, the presence of the Summoned has strengthened it, alleviating its displeasure and ensuring that Abraxas - and possibly the universe itself - continues to exist. Indeed, academic writings from Thorne and the Free Cities across time suggest that the Singularity's devouring of the world has considerably slowed. It is now as much of a threat as the eventual collapse of the sun, something that is bound to occur but not for eons.

Of course, this could quickly change if the Summoned or any other Gods provoke the Singularity by rejecting its connection or denying its magic...so all should take care not to upset the nature of things.
Old World, New World
The map of Abraxas has undergone some notable shifts, although many names and places are the same.

Setting descriptions are HERE for your reference.

Mechapolis, the Witchwood, and the Barren/the Maw contain prompts related to the event itself. Information about those areas can be found under "Exploring the Land" in the section The World as the Divine (Month 1-2).


Month 1-2: Submersion
What do you last remember? Well, that depends. You might recall most things perfectly clearly. You might have new memories that don't feel new at all. Or, you might only remember the most recent year or two. Regardless, there is something missing: an important face, a handful of key events...maybe you don't remember having ever lived anywhere except Abraxas. You might find this unsettling, or you might accept it as just the way things are.

You've transcended those old memories, anyhow. You feel a little distant from the person you were centuries ago, and you most likely look different, too. Perhaps you've sprouted giant wings, become a formless void, or you're now a shapeshifter with no permanent appearance. You've gained a substantial amount of power and influence, the type that people of this world attribute to the Gods.

The first half is a more sandbox-like environment designed for scenarios that emphasize CR and personal character moments. Active conflict between the emergent reality and the world will not arise until the second half.

The World as the Divine
The mortals have bestowed you with a title and possibly a new alias. Do you know your mortal name anymore? Some of you might've taken on a new identity, or you might have held very tightly onto who you were. Regardless, your abilities have grown. Your new powers and appearance are as unique as your dominion, influenced by your interests, subconscious desires, or personal relationships.

While in your full God form, you'll move through the world unperceived. Only when you're sought by a mortal - followers, believers, cultists - can you consciously make your complete divine presence known. To be seen freely by all, you'll have to take on a less overwhelming shape to the mortal gaze. Those who have met the Old Gods or Cardinal Gods in the past finally understand why they seldom reveal their true selves, often arriving in hazy visions or speaking through animals.
Exploring the Land
The Witchwood
As the Summoned continued to ascend, their power began to coalesce, creating a new ecosystem never seen before. The dense woods, originally a temperate climate, warmed and grew into a thriving jungle. The air is humid and heavy with magic, the sky locked into an eternal sunset. Reds and oranges filter through the thick canopy. Birdcall and animal cries echo throughout the jungle. Trees and rocks seemingly move at night, meaning the Witchwood is impossible to map. Foolhardy souls who venture too deep are rarely seen again - unless divine intervention prevents a tragic fate from befalling them. Perhaps one of those intervening Gods is you?

The most dangerous beasts in the Witchwood are the demigod spawns. Creatures born from the Summoned, demigods are powerful enough to affect the world around them should they ever leave the magic-encased forest. See Impact & Consequences for more details on the demigods and how, as the Summoned, you can help maintain Abraxas' ecosystem.
Mechapolis
Heartwood Syndrome persisted in Fomalhaut long after the quarantined population died out. The port city stood as a monument to loss for nearly a century until about 200 years in when the Summoned gained notable influence as Gods. This resulted in a slow but steady acceptance of the Singularity's power as a positive force for potential advancement. New Magic boomed, leading to increased sophistication in technology and the refinement of automatons.

Originally designed to clear and guard Fomalhaut, they were eventually used to rebuild it. Fomalhaut became known as the City of Machines and was renamed Mechapolis. Although humans are barred from entering for safety, the automatons gather soil and air samples for study and perform fishing duties. The clockworks require routine maintenance and must return to a hub city or outpost for recalibration. Clockwork birds are used to communicate with Mechapolis. They can broadcast through the Free Cities's primitive "radio" towers.

You can enhance clockwork performance, boosting the towers or providing additional energy to the automatons. Scientists often have "rituals" when performing maintenance or experiments to earn the Gods' favor, hoping this will prevent their inventions from breaking down.
The Barren/The Badlands
Once contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities, the Badlands was split into two by a large ravine shortly after Thorne retreated to Hayle. With neither side able to breach the gap, Solvunn naturally laid claim to the western half while the Free Cities retained its eastern half. On the eastern side, the chasm swallowed several well-known bandit camps and the presence of a new entity further drove them away. Bandits now occupy the mountains northeast of Aquila. Due to the entity's threat, the Free Cities increased its military presence in the Badlands to keep careless or foolish travelers from straying too far.

Meanwhile, Solvunn has named its portion of the wasteland the Barren and sought the Gods' assistance to form an enchanted forest. Those who enter are lost forever. Meant for more than just protection, the forest and the Barren serve as a place of exile. Heretics are taken into the woods and left to wander towards the Barren's harsh desert. There, they will face the elements, be devoured by the waiting Maw...or encounter a God.

As a God, you can lead the exiles to their salvation or doom, but choose carefully: the Maw is hungry and must be fed. These exiles want you dead. They don't care for you, and should their lack of faith spread, they might revive attempts to destroy the Singularity - and with it, your home. Is it so wrong to leave them to their fate? On the other hand, saving them might convert them by demonstrating your kindness.
The Maw
The Maw lurks beneath the chasm dividing the Badlands. Named for its gaping jaws, the Maw waits at the widest part of a jagged canyon, mouth open and salivating in the desert heat. Rows and rows of teeth as tall as a man spiral downward into a bloodshot throat. When sated, it retreats deep into the gully, barely visible aside from the shine of a tooth. When hungry, it draws closer to the surface. Hot and heavy winds often carry the putrid scent of its half-digested meals.

Solvunn is not the only territory that uses the Maw. The Free Cities will occasionally march criminals and bandits in that direction, as well, tossing them into the gaping mouth, although this method of execution is much rarer. Desperate exiles from Solvunn will try to cross the chasm despite the danger. None ever make it - at least, not without divine intervention.
Horizon, "Death," and Dormancy
Your domain in the Horizon is no longer constrained by size. How it's changed depends on you. The more detached from your mortality, the more likely it'll have surrealist elements: bizarre statues, physics-defying architecture, odd visual or psychological effects. The Horizon feels like home to all Gods, although you ought to take care not to heed its call beyond reason. Shutting yourself off from the physical world can result in unintended consequences...but completely refusing to enter the Horizon will do the same.

Additionally, Gods are beyond true death, but that doesn't mean you can act with impunity. Engaging in an exhaustive battle with other Gods can weaken you into dormancy. In this state, you will enter an ethereal void inside the Singularity. As you heal, you'll slowly be able to return to your Horizon domain and then the physical world once more. Depending on the extent of the damage, this process could take anywhere from months to decades. For instance, losing your head could take a few months, total dismemberment might take a year, and being vaporized into atoms can take a few decades.

Mortals cannot achieve this level of damage, even if they seemingly "succeed" in striking true. Only a God can weaken another God into dormancy. If a mortal removes your head, you can merely pick it up and put it back on.

Impact & Consequences
In the early years of your ascension, you might've wondered why the existing Gods seemingly intervened so little. Why did they not demonstrate their powers more blatantly over the thousands of years? Is it apathy? A desire to watch rather than act? As you come into your abilities, you realize that the Singularity and the universe are significantly more delicate than you thought. You begin to understand why the Gods have behaved the way they do.

Of course, whether you care to keep the world (and yourself) in balance is another story, but to be sure, some of the other Gods and the Summoned do - and you may have to defend your choices.

The equilibrium mechanic is described in OOC terms HERE. The Singularity and a character's ascension will not inherently sway them one way or the other. Any temptations will result from individual personality and development.

Instability Effects
To maintain the universe's equilibrium, you need to be cautious of when and how you interfere when using your status to alter the state of the world. Conversely, you'll also need to take care not to withdraw entirely. Several Gods have undergone periods of instability, though others haven't. Which category you fall under is up to you. It depends on who you are, your experiences, and your desires.
◎ Should you refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE your Godhood or enter the Horizon, you'll find yourself losing time. You may forget how you got from one place to another, or names you knew yesterday slip your mind. Lapses in memory or time can be temporary or permanent, but one thing they are is certainly confusing. With magic building inside you and nowhere for it to go, your power will begin to spill over, causing the Singularity to exhibit bursts of power that spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

◎ Should you give into the temptation to OVERINDULGE your Godhood or retreat to the Horizon for excessive periods, you'll lose more of yourself and your history. You may make decisions that feel unlike you, forget larger chunks of old memories, or struggle to distinguish what's real. Unrestrained use of magic will cause you to absorb yet more power, causing the Singularity to lose power in brief spurts, which can spawn demigods in the Witchwood.
These effects can be halted or even reversed in some cases. You might need someone's help to bring you back or convince you there's another way, or maybe you're the one seeking others out to assist. What you do soon understand is that your ability to manage your powers and stabilize your connection to the Horizon directly affects the Singularity and Abraxas...something that may have been true the moment you were summoned.
Demigod Spawns
Under the red haze of the Witchwood, monstrous creatures known as demigods or spawns emerge from crimson waterfalls and claw their out through the mossy soil. Born out of instabilities caused by careless actions from all Gods, they're usually contained to the Witchwood. For the most part, the older Gods - and the Summoned, if they choose - keep the demigods from leaving. However, now and again, one or two might escape, damaging towns, destroying villages, or causing ecological destruction in ways that are similar to natural disasters.

Demigods are not sentient. How they look can vary, but their appearances are often corrupted and disturbing: twisted animals, amorphous blobs, or alien-like parasites. They may resemble a monster you recognize from home.

Defeating one is possible but a challenge even for the Gods. Most crucially, you cannot kill your own spawn. Another God must deliver the killing blow, so working together is imperative. Should too many demigod spawns be allowed to invade the Witchwood, they will overwhelm and disrupt the Singularity further. Culling them is the only way to maintain stability.

You can submit demigod spawns you create to the WORLDBUILDING section if you want. Similar to using character powers, just keep the scale of destruction at a reasonable level.

Hearing Echoes
Echoes are a form of prayer that resonates through your connection with the Singularity. Solvunn has dedicated a monument to where the "First Echo" was heard, though the accuracy of this is debatable. Like the Network, you can hear an Echo regardless of where you are and can shut them out with concentration. However, your ties to Godhood may compel you to listen every so often. Mortals can entreat you through more formal methods (rituals, offerings, seasonal ceremonies) or in a moment of duress or desperation. They may seek you specifically or call to any God who will listen.

You can answer or ignore these cries for help as you like, but your choices carry consequences. Answer too many too eagerly, and your increased interference in mortal lives can upset the world's equilibrium - and the Singularity. Ignore your impact on the world, and your refusal to accept your ascension will equally destabilize the land as prayers go unheard.

Interacting with Other Gods
The Old Gods and the Cardinal Gods are an equal part of this world. For the most part, you coexist peacefully, though personal pacts and tensions can play a role. Each of you is aware of the impact of your actions on the Singularity: extreme displays of power are reserved for substantial transgressions, considering the price it carries.

Further, the older Gods have also walked the earth for centuries before you came. To them, you're still young, and rising against one of them won't end well for you. Nonetheless, many older Gods are more interested in giving advice or guiding you, ensuring the health of the Singularity and the universe so as not to doom all of you - Gods and mortals alike - to the void.

You can REQUEST AN INTERACTION with a God. Interactions will be brief but informative.

You will not be able to request a specific God. For logistical reasons, we have curated the list of Gods available ahead of time. However, we'll do our best to pick one from the pool that suits the purpose of your request.


Month 3: Awakening
Over the past 2 months, you've existed in the emergent reality without question. As you enter the third month, however, everything you've known over the past many centuries begins to shift. You might decide to investigate further, wondering if there's more out there that you aren't seeing. Alternatively, you might choose to ignore it, believing that your awakening is damaging the world and your life.
Catalysts
A catalyst can occur at any time through any circumstance. Do you see a familiar face you've forgotten in the eyes of a stranger? Do you recall a moment in your past while watching the mortals? Has a friend approached you specifically to try and remind you of the things you've forgotten?

With each memory returned you'll gain another piece of yourself. Depending on how much you've lost and how hard you'll cling to this reality, the effect may be clarifying or it might cause you distress and confusion. You might begin to encounter temporal cracks: buildings or areas that normally don't exist will flicker in and out of existence, or your reflection will briefly show an image of you from before your transformations took hold.

If you allow yourself to doubt your abilities or divinity, you might have trouble controlling your powers. If you've made alterations to your Horizon domain, it might start to revert to its original design.

These cracks are difficult to ignore, but if you bury your head, you can make them disappear - briefly, at least.
Shattered Skies
The effects go beyond the individual. As more of you and your fellow Gods reawaken, the sky also begins to form cracks that spread like broken glass. Through the fractures, you glimpse flashes of lightning and a swirling fog. The fissures only grow larger.

Soon, you realize you can see the Singularity itself, reflected upside-down in the crater. Disconcerting though it is, it may serve as proof that something is very wrong. Of course, you can also refuse to acknowledge this disturbance, closing your eyes to the crumbling sky. Doing so will let you remain unaware to the very end, but your friends who are seeking the truth might find your denial distressing.

The sky won't hold, though. Eventually, it does shatter completely - and you awaken abruptly, your body and others scattered several feet away from the Singularity's crater as if you were physically thrown out. The fog begins to dissipate. The lightning has stopped, the unrelenting storms fading across Abraxas. Whatever you went through, it seems to have done exactly what the territories hoped: stabilize the Singularity.

Characters will be returned home afterward. They will be thanked for their assistance regardless of if they cooperated.

Resistors will not face any consequences, as long as they don't cause excessive trouble upon their return. Officials will issue an apology for the heavy-handed action, stating that they saw no other way to keep the world safe. With the portals and weather returning to normal, it does seem to have worked...even if characters may not find the method agreeable.



unwings: (211_zps066db69c)

[personal profile] unwings 2024-05-07 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ it isn’t often that Castiel leaves his forest any longer, but Istredd is one of the few he makes exceptions for. When he visits, he brings his forest with him, morphing the rooms of the library to leave the isolated tranquility of his home in his wake. As Istredd arrives, he’s sat in a shallow pool, a step along the path of the trickling waterfall as the stream parts around him. He doesn’t look up from the tome he’s paging through when he speaks. ]

He visited last night.

[ There’s no need to question who he’s talking about. Istredd remains one of the still fewer Castiel ever mentions Dean Winchester to anymore. It’s hardly every conversation they have - sometimes they dig through obscure knowledge, while away hours with intellectual ponderings and debate, or squint at Lucifer and whatever shenanigans he’s getting up to. Cas always ebbs away from discussing most other gods, making no disguise of his distaste for the entire structure of their ascension. The control they wield freely over mortals.

But when there is another Summoned he’ll allow himself to mention - it’s Dean. ]


It’s the same as it ever was. We enjoyed each other, until we didn’t. [ the page turns with more of a snap, Castiel’s carefully guarded calm splintering under the veneer of unshakeable peace. ] It’s paradise, until one of us speaks.
magicalarchaeologist: (close simple)

[personal profile] magicalarchaeologist 2024-05-07 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Istredd is not surprised to see the change when he walks in, having sensed someone changing a section. He is mentally connected to everything in this vast space and Castiel rarely arrives without intending to see him. His wings are off since he doesn't wear them in the library (too many bumped shelves), but his skin is a patchwork of black and starlight.

He's embraced his identity as a god because it brings him this. Endless knowledge. Intimate information. He is gracious and indulgent of his followers but doesn't lord over anyone either. Scholars aren't really the type who need to be intimidated. He knows how Castiel feels about all of it though.

Istredd is also not surprised that it is one of those conversations. Dean and Castiels fraught romance is one he's well versed in now. ]


Speaking is integral to a relationship, Cas. I know you love him and want what you can have, but one of you has to be strong enough to step back and demand a conversation.

[ It's easier said than done, but this is from experience. He had to do the same thing with Lucifer. The two of them were terrible at communication in those early years, and it wasn't always easy to step back and insist on talking instead of swimming safely by that. ]

You may be afraid that it'll end if you do, but in my experience, getting it out in the open could lead you to being closer.
unwings: (pic#14232311)

[personal profile] unwings 2024-05-19 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
Geralt and I manage fine with nods and grunts.

[ it's a wry, petulant attempt at humor, maybe trying to skirt around istredd's accurate read of things. he's always been deftly perceptive when it came to them. when it came to castiel, who'd sooner walk off the edge of a cliff than notice a glaring emotional issue he's been unconsciously repressing with an iron fist. ]

We've tried, again and again and again for centuries, it's damn well open as a barn door now. [ there may even be some pockets of mortals who had the misfortune of overhearing their arguments. ] It's a wonder it hasn't ended already.

[ fear of that might've been petrifying to castiel in the past, but it appears their 'profound bond' hasn't just provided an empathetic link to channel a deep love between them, but also handcuffed them together like two bickering children stuffed into a single "get along" shirt.

the thing is, their arguments go round and round several old topics - his stance on godhood, his neutrality, his splitting away from them, his choice of shoes, how he cooks chicken, that one time 300 years ago when he left the fridge open and the milk spoiled, the list is endless. but they never seem to find whatever's at the center of it. deep down, cas suspects he knows. he suspects dean does too. and it was nothing that ever happened in this plane of existence, the details of it all hazy and warped by each of their aged perceptions.

the truth of it was: a confession weaponized in a hail mary attempt to spare dean's life, and an empty void cas let himself be swallowed by. it was the months after, when dean prayed to him, and though jack brought him back, he left dean on read. he thought he was doing the right thing ("yeah, you always do"). he couldn't tell dean he regrets sacrificing himself, and dean couldn't tell him he regrets letting himself bleed out on that rusty bar. it's was an impasse that just burrowed deeper and deeper, until they couldn't remember where or why it started.

but that's a whole world away, and this is their only home now. ]


I couldn't even say what the original dispute was. It's all muddled together now.
Edited 2024-05-19 06:07 (UTC)
magicalarchaeologist: (intense long hair)

back from vacay, thank you for your patience!

[personal profile] magicalarchaeologist 2024-05-30 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
That's how Geralt is with everyone.

[ Istredd snorts. Their mutual friend is either incredibly easy to deal with or incredibly difficult. Istredd's felt both ways about him over the centuries, but he's very fond of the man. He just knows his limitations when it comes to serious conversations.

He shakes his head and steps over to Castiel, reaching out to squeeze his arm, leading down to taking his hand. There was a time long ago when Istredd found it hard to display physical affection, so distant from people and the way they interacted, but he's since eased into acting by instinct. Castiel is his dear friend and he's suffering. He knows that Castiel and Dean are far more complicated than whatever they are bickering about on the surface. This is an old wound that neither of them can heal. But their love hasn't wavered.]


And my guess is that the original dispute is the problem. Everything you two bicker about now is underlined by that pain. But I know we can't just force back memories that are lost.

[ Istredd's lost plenty himself. He remembers very vague things about his life centuries ago. He sometimes forgets about his worst fight with Lucifer, until they are occasionally reminded, though in that case it's to appreciate how far they came since then. But trying to hold onto the things lost doesn't actually work, he's never been able to grasp them tightly enough to bring it back. And his memory is far better than others. ]

You love one another. Deeply. Eternally. Do you two express that to each other? The positive things that keep you coming back?

[ Perhaps they get too bogged down into the darkness and the feelings they can't handle, when they could focus on the beautiful aspects that bring them together every once and awhile. Something does attach them and Istredd's been a romantic a long time. His relationships are all very open-hearted, with his difficult partners giving way to his need for reassurance. It all works rather well. ]
Edited 2024-05-30 00:18 (UTC)
unwings: (Misha Collins in Supernatural S 07 (102))

no worries at all!! i hope you had a good time!

[personal profile] unwings 2024-06-03 04:10 am (UTC)(link)
[ that's how geralt is with everyone, and it's incredibly efficient. the man says what he means, exactly as much as needs to be said, and that's that. would that everyone were so direct. dean is a puzzle of mixed messages and things unsaid, and cas thinks there used to be a time he could decode him as easy as breathing. but that's all faded now.

istredd takes his hand, and cas interlocks their fingers like second nature. it's been many long centuries, and istredd's been a stalwart companion through them all. his company and contact are always welcome. ]


How do I fix an argument we can't remember?

[ maybe that's it, maybe they'll never get back to where they were, the window of opportunity has passed. the older they get, the more it feels set in stone. and yet, that deep love and cloying need for dean never fades, never so much as flickers, which perhaps makes it all the worse. istredd asks if it's expressed between them, and cas frowns. how much was it really expressed before? he can't recall a time before they were at odds to say. ]

We have sex.

[ does that count?? ]
Edited 2024-06-03 04:20 (UTC)
magicalarchaeologist: (magic listen)

[personal profile] magicalarchaeologist 2024-06-03 02:06 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know. [ He admits. ] Trauma from forgotten memories is not my expertise. But neither of you wants it to end what you have, otherwise it already would.

[ It's not healthy to continue this negativity back and forth, but they are holding on for a reason as far as he can tell, and that means there is something worth holding onto. Istredd knows it's better said than done. He squeezes Castiel's hand warmly. ]

When Yenna and I were young, something happened that broke us apart. I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was bad. We were apart for decades. But I know we found each other again and let go of whatever it was, choosing to move forward.

[ Istredd has that faded away in his mind, and so does she. They didn't hold onto it for one reason or another, perhaps because they did manage to focus on what worked between them, not what broke them apart. What he does know is he's loved her for most of his entire life, there is not a time he can think of when that wasn't the case, and it's what he holds to his heart.

The point is that relationships can be broken and fixed again, in his experience. That it's a choice in the end. He and Lucifer never had that, they never truly parted ways. They've been each other's constant through all the centuries, outside of one fight. A fight that still didn't break them.

The 'we have sex' makes his eyebrows go straight up. ]


Sex isn't enough, not if you want a real relationship. It's good for something casual, but I imagine the things that make you love him aren't solely sex related. Have you told him about the qualities you love in him? The reasons you're in love with him? You must have them.