EVENT #18: EMERGENCE - IC EVENT LOG

[abraxasmods]

Event #18 - Emergence

OOC Plotting Post ⦁ Pre-Event Info ⦁ Setting Descriptions

Whether voluntary or by force, you find yourself transported to the Singularity's crater. There probably aren't many resistors - officials have taken great pains to convince you to come voluntarily, reserving force as a last resort - but it's clear that everyone is required for this to work. It takes multiple mages to stabilize the portal, but you make it there in one piece. If you cooperate, you'll be asked to walk towards the ancient relic. If you resisted, you might be forced to do so while restrained. Regardless, a heavy fog soon descends around the area, obscuring you and your vision.

If you have thoughts of turning back, it's too late: for some of you, the second you step across the threshold, a force pulls at your chest and absorbs your psyche at once. For others, a mystical call beckons you to walk a little further before the same effect takes hold. And for a rare few, the call brings you to the Singularity itself, where you're compelled to touch it - and are subsequently swallowed up like the others.

The Horizon doesn't greet you like you might expect. Instead, something far stranger awaits.

Please communicate with your fellow players as needed! We also recommend discussing with us if you plan on a major environmental upheaval. As a rule of thumb, you should avoid changes to the landscape that will significantly alter the established map.

We've also posted comment sections for WORLDBUILDING and HANDWAVED submissions. Instructions can be found at the respective links.

Year 20,879

When you open your eyes, it feels like you've only blinked. If your body has transformed or you're someplace that shouldn't exist, it doesn't strike you as odd. You were always here. Everything around you was always here, and your physical alterations and new abilities - while perhaps not originally there - have been a part of you for a long, long time.

The world of Abraxas isn't completely foreign. Familiar territories remain, as well as the familiar faces of those with long lifespans. But a lot has changed in 800 years, too, especially where the Gods are concerned. Alongside the Old Gods of the Ancient Pantheon and the Cardinal Gods of the New Order, a third class of deities formed from you and your fellow Summoned: the Ecesis Gods of the Iterum Pantheon.

Politics, People, & Gods

Abraxas's political landscape remains complex, with continued tensions over land, worship, resources, and power. Nonetheless, since the Free Cities is no longer intent on destroying the Singularity, conflict over the ancient relic has lessened. All territories agree that the Godlands - and the Singularity - belong to the Gods themselves.

Beliefs and Gods

The active presence of the Summoned confirms the existence of the Gods. As a result, most Abraxans turn to the Summoned and other Gods for aid or protection. Extreme reverence exists in certain areas, especially on the Isle of the Lost and in parts of Solvunn. In other places, though, the Gods are merely acknowledged as a facet of life - a force that helps or hinders depending on temperament and should be respected, much like the sea. The Gods play a crucial role, sure, but so do the rain and stars. This is particularly true in the Feywilds, the Nether, and the Free Cities.

Small pockets of non-believers actively denounce the Gods. They claim the Summoned should be wiped from the world and the Singularity destroyed to prevent future invasions. Labeled dangerous heretics by Thorne and Solvunn, and "regressives" by the Free Cities - whose scientists and philosophers liken such thinking to be as foolish as declaring the sun unworthy or the earth to be flat - these people are shunned from society. In Solvunn, the consequences are more severe: heretics are exiled to the Barren, where they are subsumed by the desert, the Maw, or whichever Gods may punish them.

At the other end, some sects revere the Godlands so much that they believe feeding themselves to the relic will enhance Abraxas' good fortune for generations to come. Such cults are quite rare, but there are reports of mortals throwing themselves into the Singularity's crater and disintegrating as a gesture of their devotion to the divine.

International Relations

Due to the combined change in their priorities, Thorne and the Free Cities are less at odds. The Free Cities believes in protecting the Singularity; Thorne no longer seeks to control it. Nonetheless, mistrust flares on occasion.

While things are peaceful during these three months and have been for a few decades, Abraxas hasn't found a cure for war in the Gods. Conflict has broken out in the past and will again. Eyes are on the Nether as it grows in power, and who knows how long Thorne will be content with its losses? Will they convince the Velan Republic to reunite and turn against the Free Cities? For now, though, the territories have found their stride and appear more interested in progress than fighting.

Magic & The Singularity

Magic is relatively unchanged and is a vital part of Abraxan life. The small kingdom of Thorne continues to practice Academic Magic. Meanwhile, Wild Magic plays the same important role in the Velan Republic (formally Nott). Meanwhile, the Free Cities has developed New Magic further. The goal of decoupling magic from technology is less of a focus. Instead, researchers are eager to find new ways to fuse magic and innovation, including aspects of the Gods. Portable shrines, for example, are popular with traveling merchants.

High Magic no longer exists as a specific school of magic now that offerings, pacts, and requests to the Gods are a part of everyday life across Abraxas. Solvunn has returned to its roots, using the ancient Academic Magic practiced by the Lunae for standard tasks while turning to the Gods for greater blessings.

The Singularity has been relatively stable for the past two or three centuries. While occasional disturbances rumble, for the most part, the presence of the Summoned has strengthened it, alleviating its displeasure and ensuring that Abraxas - and possibly the universe itself - continues to exist. Indeed, academic writings from Thorne and the Free Cities across time suggest that the Singularity's devouring of the world has considerably slowed. It is now as much of a threat as the eventual collapse of the sun, something that is bound to occur but not for eons.

Of course, this could quickly change if the Summoned or any other Gods provoke the Singularity by rejecting its connection or denying its magic...so all should take care not to upset the nature of things.

Old World, New World

The map of Abraxas has undergone some notable shifts, although many names and places are the same.

Setting descriptions are HERE for your reference.

Mechapolis, the Witchwood, and the Barren/the Maw contain prompts related to the event itself. Information about those areas can be found under "Exploring the Land" in the section The World as the Divine (Month 1-2).

Month 1-2: Submersion

What do you last remember? Well, that depends. You might recall most things perfectly clearly. You might have new memories that don't feel new at all. Or, you might only remember the most recent year or two. Regardless, there is something missing: an important face, a handful of key events...maybe you don't remember having ever lived anywhere except Abraxas. You might find this unsettling, or you might accept it as just the way things are.

You've transcended those old memories, anyhow. You feel a little distant from the person you were centuries ago, and you most likely look different, too. Perhaps you've sprouted giant wings, become a formless void, or you're now a shapeshifter with no permanent appearance. You've gained a substantial amount of power and influence, the type that people of this world attribute to the Gods.

The first half is a more sandbox-like environment designed for scenarios that emphasize CR and personal character moments. Active conflict between the emergent reality and the world will not arise until the second half.

The World as the Divine

The mortals have bestowed you with a title and possibly a new alias. Do you know your mortal name anymore? Some of you might've taken on a new identity, or you might have held very tightly onto who you were. Regardless, your abilities have grown. Your new powers and appearance are as unique as your dominion, influenced by your interests, subconscious desires, or personal relationships.

While in your full God form, you'll move through the world unperceived. Only when you're sought by a mortal - followers, believers, cultists - can you consciously make your complete divine presence known. To be seen freely by all, you'll have to take on a less overwhelming shape to the mortal gaze. Those who have met the Old Gods or Cardinal Gods in the past finally understand why they seldom reveal their true selves, often arriving in hazy visions or speaking through animals.

Exploring the Land

◎ The Witchwood

As the Summoned continued to ascend, their power began to coalesce, creating a new ecosystem never seen before. The dense woods, originally a temperate climate, warmed and grew into a thriving jungle. The air is humid and heavy with magic, the sky locked into an eternal sunset. Reds and oranges filter through the thick canopy. Birdcall and animal cries echo throughout the jungle. Trees and rocks seemingly move at night, meaning the Witchwood is impossible to map. Foolhardy souls who venture too deep are rarely seen again - unless divine intervention prevents a tragic fate from befalling them. Perhaps one of those intervening Gods is you?

The most dangerous beasts in the Witchwood are the demigod spawns. Creatures born from the Summoned, demigods are powerful enough to affect the world around them should they ever leave the magic-encased forest. See Impact & Consequences for more details on the demigods and how, as the Summoned, you can help maintain Abraxas' ecosystem.

◎ Mechapolis

Heartwood Syndrome persisted in Fomalhaut long after the quarantined population died out. The port city stood as a monument to loss for nearly a century until about 200 years in when the Summoned gained notable influence as Gods. This resulted in a slow but steady acceptance of the Singularity's power as a positive force for potential advancement. New Magic boomed, leading to increased sophistication in technology and the refinement of automatons.

Originally designed to clear and guard Fomalhaut, they were eventually used to rebuild it. Fomalhaut became known as the City of Machines and was renamed Mechapolis. Although humans are barred from entering for safety, the automatons gather soil and air samples for study and perform fishing duties. The clockworks require routine maintenance and must return to a hub city or outpost for recalibration. Clockwork birds are used to communicate with Mechapolis. They can broadcast through the Free Cities's primitive "radio" towers.

You can enhance clockwork performance, boosting the towers or providing additional energy to the automatons. Scientists often have "rituals" when performing maintenance or experiments to earn the Gods' favor, hoping this will prevent their inventions from breaking down.

◎ The Barren/The Badlands

Once contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities, the Badlands was split into two by a large ravine shortly after Thorne retreated to Hayle. With neither side able to breach the gap, Solvunn naturally laid claim to the western half while the Free Cities retained its eastern half. On the eastern side, the chasm swallowed several well-known bandit camps and the presence of a new entity further drove them away. Bandits now occupy the mountains northeast of Aquila. Due to the entity's threat, the Free Cities increased its military presence in the Badlands to keep careless or foolish travelers from straying too far.

Meanwhile, Solvunn has named its portion of the wasteland the Barren and sought the Gods' assistance to form an enchanted forest. Those who enter are lost forever. Meant for more than just protection, the forest and the Barren serve as a place of exile. Heretics are taken into the woods and left to wander towards the Barren's harsh desert. There, they will face the elements, be devoured by the waiting Maw...or encounter a God.

As a God, you can lead the exiles to their salvation or doom, but choose carefully: the Maw is hungry and must be fed. These exiles want you dead. They don't care for you, and should their lack of faith spread, they might revive attempts to destroy the Singularity - and with it, your home. Is it so wrong to leave them to their fate? On the other hand, saving them might convert them by demonstrating your kindness.

◎ The Maw

The Maw lurks beneath the chasm dividing the Badlands. Named for its gaping jaws, the Maw waits at the widest part of a jagged canyon, mouth open and salivating in the desert heat. Rows and rows of teeth as tall as a man spiral downward into a bloodshot throat. When sated, it retreats deep into the gully, barely visible aside from the shine of a tooth. When hungry, it draws closer to the surface. Hot and heavy winds often carry the putrid scent of its half-digested meals.

Solvunn is not the only territory that uses the Maw. The Free Cities will occasionally march criminals and bandits in that direction, as well, tossing them into the gaping mouth, although this method of execution is much rarer. Desperate exiles from Solvunn will try to cross the chasm despite the danger. None ever make it - at least, not without divine intervention.

Horizon, "Death," and Dormancy

Your domain in the Horizon is no longer constrained by size. How it's changed depends on you. The more detached from your mortality, the more likely it'll have surrealist elements: bizarre statues, physics-defying architecture, odd visual or psychological effects. The Horizon feels like home to all Gods, although you ought to take care not to heed its call beyond reason. Shutting yourself off from the physical world can result in unintended consequences...but completely refusing to enter the Horizon will do the same.

Additionally, Gods are beyond true death, but that doesn't mean you can act with impunity. Engaging in an exhaustive battle with other Gods can weaken you into dormancy. In this state, you will enter an ethereal void inside the Singularity. As you heal, you'll slowly be able to return to your Horizon domain and then the physical world once more. Depending on the extent of the damage, this process could take anywhere from months to decades. For instance, losing your head could take a few months, total dismemberment might take a year, and being vaporized into atoms can take a few decades.

Mortals cannot achieve this level of damage, even if they seemingly "succeed" in striking true. Only a God can weaken another God into dormancy. If a mortal removes your head, you can merely pick it up and put it back on.

Impact & Consequences

In the early years of your ascension, you might've wondered why the existing Gods seemingly intervened so little. Why did they not demonstrate their powers more blatantly over the thousands of years? Is it apathy? A desire to watch rather than act? As you come into your abilities, you realize that the Singularity and the universe are significantly more delicate than you thought. You begin to understand why the Gods have behaved the way they do.

Of course, whether you care to keep the world (and yourself) in balance is another story, but to be sure, some of the other Gods and the Summoned do - and you may have to defend your choices.

The equilibrium mechanic is described in OOC terms HERE. The Singularity and a character's ascension will not inherently sway them one way or the other. Any temptations will result from individual personality and development.

Instability Effects

To maintain the universe's equilibrium, you need to be cautious of when and how you interfere when using your status to alter the state of the world. Conversely, you'll also need to take care not to withdraw entirely. Several Gods have undergone periods of instability, though others haven't. Which category you fall under is up to you. It depends on who you are, your experiences, and your desires.

◎ Should you refuse to ACKNOWLEDGE your Godhood or enter the Horizon, you'll find yourself losing time. You may forget how you got from one place to another, or names you knew yesterday slip your mind. Lapses in memory or time can be temporary or permanent, but one thing they are is certainly confusing. With magic building inside you and nowhere for it to go, your power will begin to spill over, causing the Singularity to exhibit bursts of power that spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

◎ Should you give into the temptation to OVERINDULGE your Godhood or retreat to the Horizon for excessive periods, you'll lose more of yourself and your history. You may make decisions that feel unlike you, forget larger chunks of old memories, or struggle to distinguish what's real. Unrestrained use of magic will cause you to absorb yet more power, causing the Singularity to lose power in brief spurts, which can spawn demigods in the Witchwood.

These effects can be halted or even reversed in some cases. You might need someone's help to bring you back or convince you there's another way, or maybe you're the one seeking others out to assist. What you do soon understand is that your ability to manage your powers and stabilize your connection to the Horizon directly affects the Singularity and Abraxas...something that may have been true the moment you were summoned.

Demigod Spawns

Under the red haze of the Witchwood, monstrous creatures known as demigods or spawns emerge from crimson waterfalls and claw their out through the mossy soil. Born out of instabilities caused by careless actions from all Gods, they're usually contained to the Witchwood. For the most part, the older Gods - and the Summoned, if they choose - keep the demigods from leaving. However, now and again, one or two might escape, damaging towns, destroying villages, or causing ecological destruction in ways that are similar to natural disasters.

Demigods are not sentient. How they look can vary, but their appearances are often corrupted and disturbing: twisted animals, amorphous blobs, or alien-like parasites. They may resemble a monster you recognize from home.

Defeating one is possible but a challenge even for the Gods. Most crucially, you cannot kill your own spawn. Another God must deliver the killing blow, so working together is imperative. Should too many demigod spawns be allowed to invade the Witchwood, they will overwhelm and disrupt the Singularity further. Culling them is the only way to maintain stability.

You can submit demigod spawns you create to the WORLDBUILDING section if you want. Similar to using character powers, just keep the scale of destruction at a reasonable level.

Hearing Echoes

Echoes are a form of prayer that resonates through your connection with the Singularity. Solvunn has dedicated a monument to where the "First Echo" was heard, though the accuracy of this is debatable. Like the Network, you can hear an Echo regardless of where you are and can shut them out with concentration. However, your ties to Godhood may compel you to listen every so often. Mortals can entreat you through more formal methods (rituals, offerings, seasonal ceremonies) or in a moment of duress or desperation. They may seek you specifically or call to any God who will listen.

You can answer or ignore these cries for help as you like, but your choices carry consequences. Answer too many too eagerly, and your increased interference in mortal lives can upset the world's equilibrium - and the Singularity. Ignore your impact on the world, and your refusal to accept your ascension will equally destabilize the land as prayers go unheard.

Interacting with Other Gods

The Old Gods and the Cardinal Gods are an equal part of this world. For the most part, you coexist peacefully, though personal pacts and tensions can play a role. Each of you is aware of the impact of your actions on the Singularity: extreme displays of power are reserved for substantial transgressions, considering the price it carries.

Further, the older Gods have also walked the earth for centuries before you came. To them, you're still young, and rising against one of them won't end well for you. Nonetheless, many older Gods are more interested in giving advice or guiding you, ensuring the health of the Singularity and the universe so as not to doom all of you - Gods and mortals alike - to the void.

You can REQUEST AN INTERACTION with a God. Interactions will be brief but informative.

You will not be able to request a specific God. For logistical reasons, we have curated the list of Gods available ahead of time. However, we'll do our best to pick one from the pool that suits the purpose of your request.

Month 3: Awakening

Over the past 2 months, you've existed in the emergent reality without question. As you enter the third month, however, everything you've known over the past many centuries begins to shift. You might decide to investigate further, wondering if there's more out there that you aren't seeing. Alternatively, you might choose to ignore it, believing that your awakening is damaging the world and your life.

Catalysts

A catalyst can occur at any time through any circumstance. Do you see a familiar face you've forgotten in the eyes of a stranger? Do you recall a moment in your past while watching the mortals? Has a friend approached you specifically to try and remind you of the things you've forgotten?

With each memory returned you'll gain another piece of yourself. Depending on how much you've lost and how hard you'll cling to this reality, the effect may be clarifying or it might cause you distress and confusion. You might begin to encounter temporal cracks: buildings or areas that normally don't exist will flicker in and out of existence, or your reflection will briefly show an image of you from before your transformations took hold.

If you allow yourself to doubt your abilities or divinity, you might have trouble controlling your powers. If you've made alterations to your Horizon domain, it might start to revert to its original design.

These cracks are difficult to ignore, but if you bury your head, you can make them disappear - briefly, at least.

Shattered Skies

The effects go beyond the individual. As more of you and your fellow Gods reawaken, the sky also begins to form cracks that spread like broken glass. Through the fractures, you glimpse flashes of lightning and a swirling fog. The fissures only grow larger.

Soon, you realize you can see the Singularity itself, reflected upside-down in the crater. Disconcerting though it is, it may serve as proof that something is very wrong. Of course, you can also refuse to acknowledge this disturbance, closing your eyes to the crumbling sky. Doing so will let you remain unaware to the very end, but your friends who are seeking the truth might find your denial distressing.

The sky won't hold, though. Eventually, it does shatter completely - and you awaken abruptly, your body and others scattered several feet away from the Singularity's crater as if you were physically thrown out. The fog begins to dissipate. The lightning has stopped, the unrelenting storms fading across Abraxas. Whatever you went through, it seems to have done exactly what the territories hoped: stabilize the Singularity.

Characters will be returned home afterward. They will be thanked for their assistance regardless of if they cooperated.

Resistors will not face any consequences, as long as they don't cause excessive trouble upon their return. Officials will issue an apology for the heavy-handed action, stating that they saw no other way to keep the world safe. With the portals and weather returning to normal, it does seem to have worked...even if characters may not find the method agreeable.

---

Comments

[areou]

( don't worry about the nickname, percy. just go with the flow. she hadn't expected it to be as easy as name calling, either, so she isn't surprised when he barely questions it. but is pointedly not going to engage or try to explain. she has a job to do, and she isn't about to get sidetracked with an erroneous conversation about whether or not she's insulting him. (she is and she isn't. that's just how they are.)

she drags his free arm behind her with little regard for what might be considered manhandling (she would say this barely qualifies) and secures her own arm around his waist, something like fastening two seatbelts, then latches her other hand to the slope of his shoulder, giving it a quick pat as if to say giddyup. )

Ready when you are, Jackson.

[seaweedbrain]

[ It almost surprises him how little he resists the way that Clarisse has taken control of this situation. She 'buckles' herself in, and while Percy concedes that he had suggested she hold onto him while he takes them across the distance between landmass to landmass, it's the manner of her attitude that continues to be ... different.

He supposes if she really had some nefarious plan in mind, she wouldn't wait until they crossed the ocean to have it come to fruition. Neither of them have ever been terribly good with waiting, or with plans; the fire and the ocean aren't exactly the most controlled elements when allowed freedom.

And he's about halfway in between the mainland and the Isle, cutting through waves of icy-cold saltwater without a drop of it getting either of them wet, before it even occurs to Percy that she'd called him 'Jackson'.

Why didn't that faze him right away? It's not his name.

It's ... not even familiar. ]

Why did you call me that? [ he asks, once they've made it across. He looks towards the little island, studying it for their next move, before he crouches a little to let her down. ]

[areou]

( she won't complain about not getting soaked this time. it's a refreshing change of pace, really. but once they're across, she hangs on for a moment too long, maybe, as if she expects him to just snap out of it just like that. wishful thinking. she huffs out the breath she'd been holding, flicking his temple with her finger. )

I'm waiting for you to figure that out yourself.

( which might sound like cryptic bullshit — and maybe it is to some extent — but it'll make sense once he does figure it out. not that she's gonna stand around wasting time trying to explain it to him. she steps forward, tugging on his arm before she takes off, calling over her shoulder: )

This way. We're almost there.

( it's only a short walk inland to a little clearing with a pond, where several turtles have waddled out of the water and seem to be inspecting a hastily constructed chariot. it's not quite as impressive as ares' actual war chariot, but it's pretty close, even if all the images of people dying won't be making it into any art museums anytime soon. she'd been in a rush to recall what they looked like. there aren't any horses, either, but there is a handwritten sign that reads OFFICIAL ZOO VEHICLE plastered to the front of the carriage.

she glances at him sidelong, apprehension seeping into her shoulders. if this doesn't work, well — she's pretty much out of ideas. )

My asshole brothers stole my dad's chariot, remember? Phobos and Deimos?

( her eye twitches just saying their names, like a curse. even after all this time, it's hard to forget the way they messed with her head. harder to push aside the the way it feels like all of this has just been one long phobos-induced hallucination. she probably won't be shaking it anytime soon, even if she knows it's all fake. )

[seaweedbrain]

[ He's about to call her out on that, to outright question how he would figure something so out of the realm of his knowledge out, but that's not ... quite true either, is it?

Something about it, the name and the way that Clarisse says it, feels familiar in a way that he can't explain. It makes no sense. But there's time to question her, thoroughly, later, to ask if these are stories she'd heard or something she was making up herself. He wonders if maybe some of his patrons have started to craft stories about him as a mortal, perhaps to make him seem more relatable.

All manner of reasoning wants to spin a tale in his head but he looks between Clarisse and the island of turtles, before finally landing his gaze on the chariot nestled in a clearing. He can hear the crashing of waves nearby, but he's never been more focused on something so wholly unrelated to the ocean until now.

It looks ... familiar.

He reluctantly turns to look at Clarisse like he's on the cusp of remembering why this thing is so familiar but she's waiting for him to respond. His mind is reeling, and he's seeing plain as day what is obviously an important item to Clarisse.

It occurs to him then that this could be a trick, perhaps Clarisse isn't Clarisse at all but some other nefarious god with shapeshifting abilities trying to lure him into a trap. It occurs to him that taking him all the way out here to this small, remote little island could be a part of that plan. He could (should) challenge her to fight right now to prove that she's Clarisse and not an imposter, because his friend has always had a very distinct, signature fighting style; the spark that could ignite his godlike ire is never far away these days. (And it would be right for trying to trick the Herald of Telluric Springs.)

But he finds that he doesn't want to do it.

He shakes his head. ]

You're speaking in riddles. Who are Phobos and Deimos? [ The names on his tongue feel familiar too, like he should know who they are even if he's certain he's never heard of them before. ] What is this really about?

[areou]

( she knew it wouldn't be easy. she knew that. but it's still frustrating. she still wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him and scream wake up, percy, just wake up!

but she doesn't. because she doesn't think that will actually get her anywhere.

so she doubles down on her little reenactment, the memory she hoped would flip some sort of switch in percy's brain. but maybe she miscalculated. maybe she misjudged him. maybe this meant more to her than it ever did to him. maybe this isn't actually going to work. maybe — )

It's about you and me and this — ( she gestures around them, not just at the clearing, but the whole island, this whole place, the echo of something she thought was the formative foundation of their entire relationship ) — fucking everything. Do I really need to spell it out for you, Percy? Do you really want me to pretend? Cower in fear because those fucking dipshits thought it would be funny to ruin my one shot at proving a daughter of Ares deserves respect and honor as much as his sons?

( her jaw stiffens, her eyes nearly wet as she stares him down, looking so much smaller than she ever had as a god, looking painfully human. )

I know you remember, Percy. ( a beat, then a little more choked: ) I need you to remember. You called me your friend that day. That was the first time. You didn't have to — do anything for me, I didn't even want you to, but you did. And now I need you to do this for me. ( she reaches for his shoulder, squeezing encouragingly, but also a little desperately. ) Because that's who you are. You're Percy Jackson, the most annoying friend I've got. ( she takes a steadying breath, then relents: ) Please.

[seaweedbrain]

I don't —

[ Percy keeps his gaze trained on the chariot for a moment longer at her direction, studying it as though it might ring a bell as to why it matters, and what this has to do with anything.

It feels easier to keep his mind blissfully clouded, and attempting to do anything else is sluggish. In his brain's attempt to sift through eight-hundred years (and then some) of memories, he'd rather give up before he begins. Because it doesn't matter, does it? Whatever Clarisse is trying to make him remember, it's not that important in the grand scheme of things. They're still gods, they still have their realms, and they still remain untouchable. What are a few meagre memories in the past compared to a wide and unlimited future?

But something tugs at him, like a thin, thread-like strand in his chest, when her expression shifts into something he doesn't recall ever seeing from her before: it's vulnerable and pleading and very real, very human.

When she reaches out to squeeze his shoulder, he meets her eyes and hears everything she's saying — You called me your friend that day. That was the first time — and it's like ... he can remember when he'd done what she's describing. He doesn't even know how, but he knows what she's talking about, like the memory had been hiding somewhere behind hundreds of godly ones and at Clarisse's word, had come forth to reveal itself. He remembers being frustrated and annoyed by Clarisse's refusal to accept his help, but he'd done it anyway because ... well, he hated when they were picked on by gods, major or minor, but also because Clarisse was ... Clarisse. For better or worse, they were friends. He hated to see her humiliated because her brothers were huge bullies. ]

That ... really happened. [ His voice is quiet at first, but the fog feels like it's dissipating, and now it's a memory directly conflicting with ones of his godly legacy as he continues to remember. ] We went to the zoo. Deimos ... pretended to be your dad. [ He shakes his head again.

His eldritch sea-god nature feels a little ridiculous now that he's thinking about it. He'd rather not be scaly and tentacly and live in the ocean for more months in a year than not, but more than that it just doesn't feel like something he'd ever choose for himself. There's a reason he turned down godhood before, why would he accept it just to become a hideous all-powerful monster? ] But you beat him, and it was kind of awesome.

[ He remembers seeing his worst fear brought to life through Deimos' illusions too. That's what had done it: he'd seen Camp Half-Blood fall to destruction, all of his friends in danger and calling out to him for help. Clarisse had been one of them; he'd admitted as much. ]

How — how did I forget that?

[areou]

( she can see it start to happen. the way something changes in his eyes — they've always been green, and still are, but it's almost like watching a storm settle out at sea, dark waves becoming crystal clear once again. he starts putting it together and all she can do is nod, afraid that if she says anything more she might interrupt this revelation he's having — or worse, that the emotion swelling in her throat will break free and she might cry. which is not what she wants to do right now.

she swallows hard when he mentions deimos — the vision had felt so real, it still makes her feel uneasy — but then, unexpectedly, she finds herself snorting a laugh, because of course percy would say something stupid like it was kind of awesome. which — yeah, that was all percy, none of the herald. there's an instant relief that washes over her, tangled up with the uncertainty of what to say to that kind of praise. she'd never really considered his perspective in that moment; even now, the mortification of knowing percy saw her like that wants to rear its ugly head, despite the fact that he just said he thought she was awesome. she barely even remembers how she actually defeated deimos, probably because deimos isn't worth remembering for his battle skill.

(percy is still the only one who knows about it, the fear that's rooted so deep she doesn't actually know how far it goes (facing it was a good first step, but that doesn't mean it's gone, she just isn't actively in denial anymore), and clarisse knows percy's not as dumb as he looks — clarisse, who isn't afraid of anything (who pretends not to be), but who is terrified of her own father? percy's not stupid enough to think it's just because ares has that kind of aura. but they've ignored talking about it this long, and clarisse is more than happy to keep it that way for now.)

she eventually musters a half-hearted, ) Shut up. ( and shoves his shoulder playfully, as if to say, this isn't about me, idiot, don't go saying stupid shit like that. ) This whole place is fucking with us, that's how.

( and, then, after a brief hesitation, she tugs him into a hug that would probably crush a normal person's ribs. without letting go, she chides, fondly, ) Took you long enough, asshole.