there are nights you say you don't remember [open!]

[tedandroses]

Who: Teddy and (you?)
When: backdated from just post-Event through May (and into the first weeks of June if it works better for where you want to run into Teds!)
Where: Around Solvunn, in the Horizon, Nocwich
What: Post-event feels; May-early June catchall
Warnings: Nothing major: some feelings of derealization. Re-remembering distressing events. If that needs to be upgraded I'll mention in the subject lines.


Teddy opens her eyes, blinking. The sky was falling down, and --

Their cheek is pressed into the dust, hard against the rock, and when they try to push themself to a sit, it feels like they haven't used their joints in -- they were thinking years, but no, that's wrong; the whole thing was wrong. They were trying to wake up. They were trying to...

Oh. Oh god.

It comes crashing back like a wave: the storms, the crater, the fog. And the memories. All the memories Teddy still -- or can now recall -- the terror of knowing they were losing. Pushed roughly to the forefront: not just the things they'd lost but those they'd given up to Sam in desperation to not lose it forever.

Sam -- Teddy shouldn't even know Sam. Much less, feel the instinctive urge to thank him as he's hit by an onslaught of memories of his home and family that tumble over each other so intensely he sits back down hard. He shouldn't know -- so much -- about so many things --

People are moving. People are telling them things; their voices don't feel like real sounds, but some part of Teddy's brain interprets it for her, and she gets back to her feet and allows herself to be directed toward the carts going to Solvunn. Her eyes catch on even more familiar forms, even beloved, heading in other directions, and she knows she's never looked at them here: can feel that her body recalls but does not know being embraced, jostled, laughed with.

That knowing feels like a great wave lifting them off their feet and shoving them underneath the water over and again. (They shouldn't know what the ocean feels like.) They want to be sick. They want to scream. They can't do any of it: just let it roll them over. They sit, silent and finally, blissfully unthinking for the ride. It's not until they're back in Solvunn, safe under blankets, that they burst into stifled, hiccuping sobs until they can't breathe.


Far above, the Abraxas skies are blue and cloudless like Teddy's never seen.

>> HORIZON
>> SOLVUNN
>> NOCWICH

[OTA! If there's nothing that catches your eye/you want something slightly different let me know at wingedvoices and I'll start one!]

Comments

[inthenameofhades]

"No, that's...not unreasonably," Zagreus says slowly. "I suppose when you put it that way...I can see how it's something mortals would fear. But you don't go away forever, not really. Your shades still live on, in the Underworld."

Well. For a certain value of 'live', anyway.

"And I'm sure mortals never ever have really big families that fight all of the time," Zagreus says dryly, giving Teddy a sardonic grin.

Zagreus might not have met many mortals before coming to this realm, but that didn't mean he hadn't read a lot of histories and epics. Petty familial squabbling clearly wasn't the exclusive domain of the gods.

[tedandroses]

It would be nice, Teddy thinks, to be that sure of what the afterlife is like. Maybe that's exactly how it is in his own world, too -- though that might be a real disappointment, or at least, a shock to a lot of people in his life.

Because they're inclined toward debate when they think it'll be taken as it's meant -- in this case, as teasing -- they tip their head a little and ask, eyebrow lifting, "and the shades in the Underworld, how often do they hang out with their loved ones? ...Excluding any epic sneaking in plans. We've got those stories. Don't usually end well."

Teddy can't help but laugh at that, a wide flash of teeth that surprises itself to her face and crinkles her eyes. "Oh, never," she deadpans, and grins, shoulders shrugging in a huff, putting her hands in her lap and sitting very tall (which isn't very tall) and faux-proper. "Mortals all have two-point-five children and happy round-the-table dinners every night where we discuss how everyone did at school, and it's always good. I'll have you know."

They can barely satirize it without laughing. "Yeah, yeah, okay. The scale's a little different, though. Or. Well. The effect." Even that's a little rich coming from someone who grew up throwing distance from the Hatfield-McCoy stomping grounds. "Though," they add, mulling for a moment. "I do have a big family --well, ish, not as big as some I know, but big enough -- and we all get on. ...Got..." It's odd to try and figure out how to talk about them; are they ever going to see them again? What's even happening back home?

"I did always wonder, growing up, if my parents wished they had more than just me, both having brothers and sisters and me with so many cousins. But." Teddy shrugs.

[inthenameofhades]

"That depends, I suppose," Zagreus says, thinking about it. "For those Shades who are sentenced to Tartarus...likely not much at all. Those in Elysium or Asphedel could spend as much time as they like. Although it would be difficult, if they want to spend time with someone who lives in a different part of the Underworld."

It was possible, if a Shade had permission from Hades to travel. Like Orpheus, and Achilles. But that was a boon not often given.

"We have something in common then! Just don't ask me how many cousins I have. Too many to count, I suspect." But that was what happened when you had Zeus and Poseidon for your uncles. "But I'm glad your family all get along. That shouldn't be something unusual, among mortal or divine families, but...it's not as common as it should be, unfortunately."

[tedandroses]

"Oh, I meant --" Teddy smiles wryly, even though she's walking a tightrope between banter and a fairly sensitive subject. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad to talk to Zagreus about it, but it's not like he's going to be able to confirm anything, or change it. "I meant, with people who haven't died. You know? You said that no one's really gone," she reminds him, "that they live on as shades.

"But. Well, I mean, I reckon for a lot of people who believe in an afterlife, whether it's like yours or a different one, it is still a comfort to think of them living on. But it's not the same as being able to ask them a question, or, give them a hug..."

And there it is, choking off the end of the sentence. Teddy rubs their eyes before tears can make an appearance and makes a face. "Sorry. Made myself think too much."

They're happy to move on to big families. Teddy laughs despite himself at Too many to count. "The stories my world has about your uncles make them sound...rather prolific," he says, trying to be diplomatic. "I try to avoid that part with all the -- you know, the teenage demigods? Do you talk to them much? That must be weird for you, having a bunch of -- what, new half-siblings and cousins who ...I imagine don't quite have the same versions of your family?"