[ And as much as Lucifer's instinct was to kill everyone standing between him and Istredd, his fear of causing them damage was higher. It's a different type of panicking but one nevertheless. He has mellowed a great deal over time but he's never lost his killer instinct, only learned to curb it. Istredd was grateful because he didn't want to be afraid of more than one direction being a problem. ]
And I couldn't have him be in here.
[ Istredd doesn't know if Kyle's aware of Lucifer's deep trauma and past time in a cage, alone for so long that it would drive anyone mad. He barely handled being in that safe room, being trapped. Istredd would much rather the two of them be here alone, with no one else making enough trouble to end up here with them. It only makes things more destructive.
Istredd also thinks they are likely safe, that this is more symbolic or information gathering than anything else, which is why he probably won't hold his tongue as much as he should have. But he is, down deep, afraid. It reminds him too much of Vilgefortz and what is ahead of him there. This entire experience has led him to relive Thanedd, an unpleasant reminder. ]
You have the Horizon at least for now.
[ Istredd is too clingy so he probably would struggle with a relationship mostly in the Horizon, but since he does not believe they are here forever, an occasional Nocwich trip will again be an option. He couldn't bear the thought of even going to Nott without Lucifer, that level of clingy. ]
Why? I would, but I am also desperate to create that anchor with it, if possible.
[ Istredd can admit that his desperation is very real, he's not thinking as logically about it as he should, but he needs that security of hooking people who want to stay in. ]
no subject
[ And as much as Lucifer's instinct was to kill everyone standing between him and Istredd, his fear of causing them damage was higher. It's a different type of panicking but one nevertheless. He has mellowed a great deal over time but he's never lost his killer instinct, only learned to curb it. Istredd was grateful because he didn't want to be afraid of more than one direction being a problem. ]
And I couldn't have him be in here.
[ Istredd doesn't know if Kyle's aware of Lucifer's deep trauma and past time in a cage, alone for so long that it would drive anyone mad. He barely handled being in that safe room, being trapped. Istredd would much rather the two of them be here alone, with no one else making enough trouble to end up here with them. It only makes things more destructive.
Istredd also thinks they are likely safe, that this is more symbolic or information gathering than anything else, which is why he probably won't hold his tongue as much as he should have. But he is, down deep, afraid. It reminds him too much of Vilgefortz and what is ahead of him there. This entire experience has led him to relive Thanedd, an unpleasant reminder. ]
You have the Horizon at least for now.
[ Istredd is too clingy so he probably would struggle with a relationship mostly in the Horizon, but since he does not believe they are here forever, an occasional Nocwich trip will again be an option. He couldn't bear the thought of even going to Nott without Lucifer, that level of clingy. ]
Why? I would, but I am also desperate to create that anchor with it, if possible.
[ Istredd can admit that his desperation is very real, he's not thinking as logically about it as he should, but he needs that security of hooking people who want to stay in. ]