abraxaslogs | When I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time

"I was. Geralt, Yennefer, Jaskier and I."

They've been here together since then. She and Yennefer just a little while after Jaskier and Geralt. It feels like a lifetime ago, even if it was only a few scant years. Does it feel that way to Yennefer and Geralt, too, despite their long-lived natures? Surely it must.

Ciri eyes the robot curiously, but doesn't ask.

"So you were quite late." As an arrival from their sphere, she means.

"Yennefer was shocked to see me. Our last meeting before I showed up here was uncomfortable to say the least." With her throwing herself at him for the first time since they were young, and him being the one to reject her. It was all out of fear. They've worked that out since and have been together for a long time now. Having her separated from him again has been painful for him.

The robot approaches her but it can't sniff like an actual animal, it just decides to sit by her feet and look up at her. It is a thick metallic creature and while petting it is an awkward experience, it personality-wise seems to react like any animal. It scans her instead of sniffing.

"Shepard gave me that, it's from her planet. I don't understand technology at all." Luckily it'll never need to be fixed or anything! It just exists, a permanent fixture from her mind into his space.

"How are you, Ciri?"

It looks like something from Aloy's world, but tiny; she thinks to tell Aloy about this little robot creature later.

In the meantime, she's actually here for a reason.

"What information do you have on the sickness visited upon the Free Cities by your newest unhinged ruler?"

They might be on better terms by far, all things considered, but one thing Ciri has "inherited" from Geralt is a low tolerance for pointless small talk. She and Istredd are still far from the kind of closeness it would take to spend time idly talking about their feelings.

She is, however, capable of respecting his propensity for seeking knowledge, and trusts him to have the latest information from Thorne. Even stuck in the dungeons, she's pretty sure he's been keeping tabs on all sorts of things. Being a nosy nerd has its uses.

"Heartwood, I think I heard?" Istredd did know a little bit about it, although not as much as would be in the libraries of the Free Cities academies. "Apparently it saps all magical potential from people, I'm sure by now you've seen the symptoms themselves. It's a cruel disease for this world. The loss of magic, physical transformation, and permanent quarantine is life ruiner on every level." He has a lot of sympathy for anyone going through that extreme of a change.

"You will find more information on it at the libraries in Cadens. I only wish I could go myself. I don't believe they've ever had an outbreak here in Thorne." Not that he would want a disease like that here, but it is curious, very curious actually. He considers. "Which is interesting, because how did Sidwell get his hands on a strain? One he could control enough to make a very specific biological attack on a specific location."

Istredd hasn't fully given that consideration, given his situation, but it really is ... odd. "Perhaps Thorne has had that in their pocket for a long time, in the military's hands."

"Yes. That is what they call it." She nods, encouraging him to keep talking. Most of it is what she already knows, but she was curious about his level of knowledge as well, so Ciri doesn't interrupt.

It's the last part she herself was interested in. Why she wanted to talk to Istredd about this in the first place. She's plenty capable of researching whatever is in the Cadens libraries on her own, after all. That's not going to tell her a damn thing about Thorne.

"Interesting is one word for it. I wonder where it came from. When it first cropped up, originally. You're right that the resources in Cadens will likely give me better answers, but..."

She shrugs.

"It's odd. Whatever the method, Sidwell has achieved what he no doubt sought: a disruption in the Free Cities' military capacity. The attacks were targeted. On the one hand, it's good that the infected are a much smaller part of the population that was initially feared. On the other, the military outposts are in disarray.

"And another thing: it'll likely come as no surprise to you that all the Summoned have been deemed immune to the illness. What do you make of that?"

"All illnesses do come from somewhere, but I haven't heard anything about the beginning of this one." Perhaps they simply don't know or there was nothing to trace about it. Not everything has a perfect answer, especially with illnesses, but he does wonder now that Thorne apparently had their hands on it.

"I didn't know someone could trap an illness like that and release it with such precision." Biological warfare through spreading plague is possible but it's usually sloppier than this. Istredd assumes the person who released it at the Free Cities died with it, but they don't know for certain. "Magic can hold infected air but ... I don't know. It's confusing."

He assumes this would be happening more frequently in their sphere if it was readily possible.

"My concern was always that throwing a coup would make Thorne weak to a Free Cities attack. Sidwell apparently agreed." Let's not dive too deeply into how Istredd acknowledges the man's pragmatic mind mirrors his in more than one way. It's different in the ways that matter. But Stregobor would probably admire Sidwell a great deal.

"The Singularity won't let us be. Have you heard of any Summoned getting sick of even a minor cold or flu since arriving? It's already been altering us."

"I... hadn't thought of that," Ciri admits slowly, her brows furrowing.

"I rarely get sick. Always been that way." Probably her own genetics, come to think of it. She's never really thought about it.

"Obviously, Geralt doesn't either. Jaskier is... Resilient."

She frowns. There is Viktor's case, most obviously. (Though he'd always been sick, and it wasn't something that had happened in Abraxas... Does that count?)

"No, there are definitely Summoned who've gotten sick. One of my friends was really sick, in fact-- though he was able to find a solution."

"Sick from an illness here? That is surprising. I suppose that means it is most of the Summoned, not all of them in that case." Perhaps there is no perfect formula then. It is rare to be one hundred percent anything correctly, no matter how much he'd like it to be that clear.

"I would have said it unlikely any of us were to die here, that we are protected in a way by our unique status, but Nero's loss proved otherwise." Istredd hasn't forgotten about Nero. They didn't always get along, to say the least, but his last memory of the man is a good one. They worked together on the island and seemed to make some kind of peace. He doesn't grieve the way his true loved ones did, but he does regret.

And he realizes a moment later that might bring up bad feelings for Ciri considering she was close with Nero. He inwardly slaps himself for being imprudent.

"Apologies, I didn't mean to remind you." Technically Nero saved Istredd from Ciri in the Pit. A weird connection they all shared, along with the rest of the Pit. But Ciri knows by now that Istredd's just awkward. He talks too much and thinks too much, especially with her, who he gets nervous around.

"...I think it was an illness from home," she mumbles, more under her breath, finding herself annoyed at Istredd for no reason of his own fault. "But it did get worse here."

The mention of Nero makes her jaw tighten.

"I don't know about your illness theory but the thought we'd somehow be immune from dying is as inane as it is dangerous. Nero was more resilient than most, and still it did not save him. Go tempt the Lady Death yourself if you're so eager."

"I nearly died in the Pit, Ciri, an hour later and I would have been." Istredd was grievously injured from a knife to the gut and nearly bled out in a very anxious Steve Rogers' arms. He truly did barely survive it, but arguably, he shouldn't have. The other natives never made it as far as they did.

"But we seem unnaturally sturdy in this land, that is all I meant. The Singularity's favoritism, I'd guess." They grow more powerful by the day, more likely to be on the path that was shown to them. "I'm sorry I brought him up. We didn't always get along, but we made peace on the island, I had hoped that could turn into friendship."

Foolish, truthfully, he'll never be the type that appeals to certain powerful personalities. Ciri included. Even now he fears backsliding. "I do have a way of putting my foot in my mouth, don't I?"

Ciri sighs. At least he knows it...

"You really have a talent for it, Istredd."

She's not angry with him. Just... sad. Frustrated. Upset. At the situation in general: Nero's loss, the inability to use their unique traits to actually help the people who are falling sick, the worry about the changes going on within the Summoned and what it means in the long term for those of them who've genuinely decided to stay.

Istredd may have learned by now she's liable to lash out when she's stressed. In this case, it isn't even his fault.

"I'm not sure how I feel about the Singularity's favoritism. I don't like the idea that our destiny is determined by the thing. Set on the path of... what? Those shared dreams we had within the crater? These changes we're experiencing have been going on for some time, but after all that, it's really become more obvious, hasn't it?"

"I know, I know." Istredd shrugs. "I promise it's not on purpose." Ciri knows that by now. He's never been good with people. He has more practice recently because of Thorne and his place with the Summoned, but it doesn't come naturally. He says the right thing more often than the wrong now, but she makes him nervous.

He has picked up on her lashing out, and he's hoping it isn't personal. She didn't stomp off, she's talking instead about what's going on and her feelings about it. That he's more comfortable with.

"The New Gods were like us once, I feel confident about that now. They're the former Summoned, if Umbvagher is implying what I think." This has been a theory of Istredd's for a long time, and frankly, he does enjoy being right, but it doesn't mean it feels right. He liked his fake life so much that he didn't want to wake up out of it. Lucifer had to force him out.

"I think that is our future. And I wouldn't know how to stop it even if I wanted to. The Singularity is far more powerful than any one of us." Ciri's always had a destiny. He has no idea if this was always supposed to be a part of it. "You've been a child of prophecy, I know it's not your preference. I wish there was a way to make this all a choice for us."

"There is always a choice."

This, she must believe in. Even if there is nothing else. In the dreamed-up future they'd 'lived,' suspended for weeks in the Singularity's crater, she had been herself in some ways Destiny. But she had also done her best to cling to her humanity, to her own freedom, and allow it for others. She'd opened doors -- but rarely made anyone step through outside their own volition.

And this is exactly the path she'd chosen in that dream too. The very reason she'd fought for decades, centuries to break free from the Singularity, to allow them all the option of leaving if they wanted to, alongside Viktor.

In this moment, she can see that future unfolding. She can see herself making similar mistakes.

Ciri closes her eyes a few moments longer than a blink.

"If any of the former Summoned turned 'new gods' have any shred of their humanity left, I wonder what they would choose. Are they stuck here like the rest of us? Like we were in that dream? Where does the Singularity's will come from? It has one, for all that it's a big fucking rock. What need has it of us?"

"I think they are stuck here like we were. Umbvagher is one of them and he chose to show us it, I think it's from personal experience." He was once a Summoned like them, became a god, and now is stuck there after thousands of years that pass. It makes the most sense, and explains why a god was displaying knowledge of other world's language.

"Lucifer explained to me that he was using symbols called emojis that are from his world, and some others said the same. He was communicating in a way that only made sense if he was from a different sphere once." That is what Istredd took as proof that the theory was correct, and then the vision happened and it seemed like it was the answers they were seeking. The problem being that now the only answers are ones they don't necessarily want to hear.

"I wonder if he showed us that to explain where we are headed ... but perhaps also as a chance to stop it from happening." It's hard to know the temperament of a god that seemed to play games. Istredd feels like knowing their future so early, centuries away from them now, gives an opportunity.

"The Singularity ... I wish I knew. No one is more disappointed than me that I've studied it for years with no clear answers as to its abilities." Istredd has been doing his level best, but it won't talk to him. "I wonder if we have become symbiotic, it gives us power but perhaps we give it back too."

When I'm near the end and I just ain't got the time

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