[ OPEN / CLOSED ]

[emulsions]

Who: Carmy + Various
When: July
Where: Horizon, Nott
What: Catch-all
Warnings: Canon warnings

hold onto my soul, darling i'm near
don't you ever let the other live in fear;

(( plot with me discontinued ))

Comments

[ordinar]

[He definitely deserves a fancy car after everything he's been through. When Wilhelm first arrived in this world and began experimenting with the contours of the Horizon, he'd thought about creating his own Ferrari, in homage to the one in whose passenger seat he'd made so many memories. But there was the problem of learning to drive. He'd always expected that his brother would be there to guide him through adjusting the mirrors, reading the dashboard, shifting gears. Accepting any other reality was like swallowing a live coal.

It wasn't until two springs ago, after he emerged from the darkness of what they'd all come to refer to as the pit, that he finally created the car. It was the distraction he needed while he tried to heal from what happened down there.]

2018. [The same year Erik was old enough to get his license.] You can see it, if you want.

[Which is probably unnecessary to say when Carmy is already standing. Wilhelm follows him through the restaurant's kitchen and dining space, silently eyeing the unfamiliar equipment of the former and the stylish decor of the latter. He's glad that walking directly behind the guy provides a good excuse to not look him in the eye when he drops that question.]

Yeah. I haven't seen him in two years.

[emulsions]

[ The answer 2018 brings a bizarre rush of relief and familiarity. They aren't hitting 2023 yet, but it's less than ten years ago and he's learning that that's in the upper range of good enough.

The car's not the point, but Carmy admires it, anyway, because yeah, it's a damn nice car, sleek and brand new, like the ones that'd pull up to Noma or Ever, and from the way the kid talks and dresses, he gets the feeling that this isn't just a fantasy. That somewhere out there in his home life, he could afford a car just like this one, probably even several.

It's not the first time he's touched lives with people like that—comes with the job—and so he doesn't give it too much thought. Instead, he's thinking two years is a long fucking time. ]

That how long you've been here?

[ordinar]

[As they emerge from the low lighting of the restaurant, it occurs to him that maybe Carmy was asking what year he's from, not the car. But the answer isn't all that different. Maybe it doesn't matter. In any case, the Ferrari crouches low to the pavement, all sleek lines and black shine. With the top permanently rolled down, its cherry red leather interior lies exposed like an invitation.

Wilhelm nods, fingers idly tracing the curve of the car's hood. It doesn't match up exactly — Erik had died a month before he came here, so he's been missing him for longer. But he doesn't want to get into all of that.

From his pocket, he produces the key and thumbs the unlock button. A smooth chirp sounds from inside the car.]

You can sit behind the wheel, if you want.

🎀 wrap soon?

[emulsions]

[ He chuckles, quiet. Nice offer, but... ] No. No, it's okay.

[ Two years is a long time. But then, he's hitting on a couple months himself, and he wonders what it means. Most of the time, it's easier not to think about it, all the fucking implications that make his head hurt. He wakes up, he goes to work, sometimes he pops in here to work on a restaurant that doesn't exist in this world and maybe doesn't exist anywhere anymore.

He doesn't fucking know.

He peers into the leather interior, looking but not really looking. Because it's not totally about the car, is it? ]

I had a brother, too. [ He isn't sure why he says it, but he does and it's out there. ] I, um...I hope you get to see yours again.

yes!

[ordinar]

[A shadow of something flickers across his face when Carmy says that. Wilhelm isn't sure if there's such a thing as the afterlife, but he hopes there is. He needs it to be real. The particulars of it don't matter much to him — it could be heaven or hell, a blankness they're all suspended in or never-ending darkness. It doesn't really matter, as long as Erik is there.

He wonders if Carmy is the older brother or the younger one. It makes a lot of difference, he thinks, in the kind of person you turn out to be. He also wonders about the difference between have and had. Wilhelm still talks about Erik in the present tense — I have a brother, he's four years older, wait, no, now it's only two, then it'll be only one — as if somewhere out there he could be walking around, smiling and warm and alive.

But he doesn't ask any of these things, he just accepts the man's statement with a nod. His hand, with the key still in it, has fallen back to his side.]

Yeah, I hope you get to see yours too.