Viktor (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
techmaturgy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
abraxaslogs2024-07-15 10:44 am
techmaturgy) wrote in abraxaslogs2024-07-15 10:44 am
[open] july catchall
Who: Viktor and special guests and you
When: throughout July & August
Where: Cadens, the Horizon, Nocwich
What: ah oh no we were indirectly responsible for bombing the castle
Warnings: war crimes
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whitticus and on discord also at whitticus.]
When: throughout July & August
Where: Cadens, the Horizon, Nocwich
What: ah oh no we were indirectly responsible for bombing the castle
Warnings: war crimes
no subject
[ Jesper whistles at that. Alright so it's a little more serious than him making something innocently, he knew it was dangerous potentially and tried to destroy it. It doesn't change his mind, but he can see why that is something that would weigh more heavily. Also something he'd be more worried about confronting them over. ]
It's still not your fault. You didn't weaponize it. You should always put the blame where it belongs, on the people who intentionally do bad things.
[ Jesper should know! He was a criminal and often the person who did said bad things. Never anything like a biological weapon or inventing something bad, but he's a killer through and through, more than most people know since he's outwardly such a friendly and warm individual. He shrugs, putting his arm on the back of the bench, relaxing.]
I mean, I assume you're going to do exactly that with this talk, but you know. In case you were being hard on yourself. When it comes to this war, the responsible people are the ones who caused it.
no subject
It is my fault. I shouldn't have given them the opportunity in the first place.
[Shouldn't have built it in the first place, even if the more logical part of him knows it would mean resigning himself to death.]
It was foolish, to think I could build it and destroy it without anyone knowing, or watching. They raided my laboratory when I was in recovery.
[So it was calculated, on their part.]
no subject
[ Jesper doesn't know why he did, but he is confident that there was a reason. He figures a lot of scientists would create simply to see if they could, he's seen that before. Hell, sometimes he's that person, given that his unique set of skills can do a lot that he doesn't always think through. He's already gotten in trouble at least once for carelessly using his powers in a way that got him caught. And the Saints know that someone out there in the Badlands remembers what he impulsively did with Dean. ]
I know nothing I say is going to make you feel better though. I get it. When I screw up, there's no comfort I can accept from others.
[ Every time he falls off the wagon, he hates himself a little more, and his loved ones try to help, but there simply is no use for it. It's not the same thing as what Viktor's going through, but that impulse is similar. Just not letting yourself off the hook. ]
Do you really think they're going to listen to you, though? They stole something of yours when you were in recovery.
no subject
Jesper, at least, seems to recognize that Viktor is going to blame himself no matter what. He appreciates the effort, but this is something he's going to have to come to terms with on his own.
But he appreciates the practicality. Viktor makes a defeated little gesture.]
I have to try. Maybe there's some kind of--a deal we can make. I could try to interest them in shielding technology instead, or--
no subject
[ Jesper would know. He used to be one of them. It was more a survivor mindset, the ability and willingness to do whatever it took to survive and fight. A pebble into a bullet, a bit of fabric into a noose. It's still where his mind goes when he thinks there could be trouble. The military is violent by their very description, they're there for that reason, in his opinion. But he is also someone who has fled the military most of his life. He's a weapon for himself, not for them.
He lowers his voice a little, although he's checked, there's no one around to hear their conversation. He's still a little paranoid.]
I've been hiding my ability to make clothing into armor the entire time I've been here. For a lot of reasons, but you'd think, making clothes into something protective, that can't be so bad. But there's no way of knowing what they'd use it for. I don't trust them.
[ Jesper doesn't trust them especially now when war has begun. He can't say he blames them for attacking the castle given what happened to them, he would've done the same thing if the Crows were in danger, but it puts them in a pickle. No matter which way they turn, it's war. And people with skills like the two of them, they're weapons. ]
Of course, I say that, but Hilda and I have been designing clothes with a little bit of my power in it, for normal folks. Means they could find me, if it's too good.
no subject
[They found a way regardless, and Viktor simply can't not work. It's integral to who he is as a person, and he wants to improve this place while he's here. The only real solution is to stop building anything at all, but then the most vulnerable citizens here would suffer. Viktor can't exactly stand by, while that happens.
Hearing Jesper tell him why this is a bad idea while simultaneously admitting he's been hiding his own work rankles something in him. At least he's trying to do something.]
I suppose you have a better suggestion, then? Since I have no leverage and anything else I build might be similarly stolen and misused.
no subject
[ But Jesper does have the kind of mind that they do, which is probably why he is so paranoid, why he understands the way they think. Criminals aren't that far removed from a military, at least not his. And technically martial law this long is criminal in its way, so he's dealing with his own people. Jesper hasn't made his history a secret.
Whoever did this, they have to be a genius, like Viktor himself. They needed to know how and then build on it to create those bombs. Impressively, really. Wylan used to do that, something his merchling he knows didn't like to share. It was one of those things he fell into, it wasn't in his nature. ]
No, but I got you to stop thinking about vomiting, didn't I?
[ Jesper smiles wryly at him. He shrugs. ]
My better idea is that you need to give yourself a break and probably not give them more ideas. You're a good guy, the smartest guy I know. You aren't responsible for what bad people do.
no subject
[He still very much wants to throw up. Viktor wants to argue that it certainly doesn't take a genius to think of ways to misuse his technology, but they must have enlisted Klingel, when it came to cracking his notes. That in itself is vomit-inducing.]
If I gave them the means, then I am responsible.
[At least partially. His intentions don't matter, not when people are dead.]
no subject
[ Jesper may be able to walk away any time he wanted, but that's not true of anyone. He wouldn't judge Viktor if he did get sick though. All of this is definitely the sort of thing that other people who are responsible types would find nauseating. Jesper's just not that type. He's cool as a cucumber, even when he's doing the wrong thing. Sometimes especially when he's doing the wrong thing. ]
I wouldn't blame my gunsmith for the times I've pulled the trigger.
[ He sighs and looks over at Viktor. He cares, that's why he's bothering to talk it out at all, and Viktor's at least engaging back. He doubts they'll find someone among the Summoned who would hold this over the inventor's head. Hard to say if anyone native in this world would feel differently though. Not that it matters. ]
Do you want help? I'm not a tech genius but I am one hell of a salesman.
no subject
He could argue that there should be no need for gunsmiths--that there should be no reason for humans to make things to kill other humans at all--but that is more idealistic (and unrealistic) than he could ever be.]
I'm not sure that's the best idea. [Viktor has to do this on his own, but even then, he hasn't really forgotten that Jesper is often on thin ice with the government.] I don't think they like you very much.
we can wrap soon! (this was very cute)
[ It's an act though and he drops it right away since this is a serious situation and he is capable of being serious. He has been this whole conversation, actually, and his offer was genuine. Jesper wants to help Viktor, and since he can't talk him out of blaming himself, maybe that's one way. But he nods. ]
Obviously, you're right. The feeling is mutual too.
[ It's lucky for everyone involved that he was pulling punches when they dragged him to the crater. Jesper studies Viktor. ]
I'll wait here for you. Whatever goes on in there, having a friend to walk you back would be nice, right?
no subject
[If Jesper wants to wait here for him, even if it might be hours, well. Viktor doesn't necessarily need anyone to walk him back, but it's a nice gesture.]
If you're still here when I'm done, I'll message you to pick me up.
And wrap!
[ Jesper pats him on the back comfortingly. He will be in the area for when Viktor comes out and walk him back. It's a small gesture but one he can do.]