𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐤𝐚 "ate 12 sandwiches & napped" 𝐬𝐮𝐢 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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abraxaslogs2021-10-19 07:47 pm
aquaveiled) wrote in abraxaslogs2021-10-19 07:47 pm
If you believe in magic, come along with me [OPEN & Closed]
WHO: Himeka & you!
WHAT: Conjury lessons and incidental mingling
WHEN: Throughout October
WHERE: Solvunn - Primary & the outskirts to the northeast
[ ooc; I default to brackets but I am happy to write in prose! Whatever you feel comfortable with. If you want to join training but haven't signed up yet first, feel free to do so in the link above. ]
i. conjury training; outskirts [CLOSED to current students]
[ If only E-Sumi-Yan could see her now. Being something of a protege in her own right, it was fairly common for Himeka to be asked to step in with both the new and senior members of the Conjurer's Guild. The only non-Padjal White Mage known and the Warrior of Light at that, all of them were keen to speak with her--hear her stories, learn from what they could.
Now...that never meant she was a particularly good mentor by any means. Truth be told, it was in these instances that she started to realize that in all her practice, most things came naturally and she hadn't spent much time thinking on the mechanics of what and how she was doing what she was.
Well, that's got to change. The Conjurer's Guild had centuries of experience and knowledge and training, while the other hopefuls here in Solvunn may need a little extra something if they are going up against any other nations bent on harnessing the power of the Singularity, for good or for ill. The least she can do is teach a few healing spells and show them how to throw rocks.
Rocks come first, of course. ]
Let's try this again.
[ She puts her hands on her hips, assuming what she hopes is an authoritative pose. ]
You only need to...force your will on the ground! Of sorts. As if you want it to move.
[ Yeah...totally easy! ]
ii. after hours; outskirts [OPEN]
[ White magics have come easy since she began her training, but despite her natural proclivity to magics in general, her other fields required a little more concentration. So when she finally calls it quits for that day's lessons, Himeka uses the evening hours to practice on her own. Without her job stones and proper equipment, channeling of Red and Black magics will take time. And as much as she enjoys running errands about town to meet people, being without her abilities those months in the dungeon have made their return feel all the more precious.
Standing (presumably alone) not far from the forest's edge, Himeka inhales slowly before calling forth her leylines beneath her feet, slowly rotating about her form. They make the air around her crackle as they settle and she refines their shape. It takes a few seconds.
Then, her vision darts to a large stone near by and, without much preamble, she raises her hands in the air as dark energy radiates and collects around them before an explosion of fire is set upon the stone, causing it to scorch and shatter--
--hopefully not to anyone who happens to be on the path nearby. ]
iii. a witch without a wand; solvunn proper [OPEN]
[ Himeka has quickly found that there is a reason that mages and sorcerers use all sorts of canes, wands, and rods to channel their magic--it's so much more easy to control and amplify. Therefore, she's determined to fashion something of one for herself.
And really, how hard can it be? She knows they are made from natural materials and Solvunn has an abundance of those about. So a few carved sticks and a nice rock or something should be good enough, right? Right!
Except as she sits on a fence that lines the road right into the center of town, she frowns as she looks down at her creation. She found a shiny stone and tied it with twine to a long stick, but it looks more like a child's attempt to make a club that anything an actual wielder of ancient magics would dare use. Not if they wanted to be taken seriously, at least.
Himeka sighs, watching the people walk to and fro into town. She lazily waves her "wand" and one of those people. ]
Zap.
[ Except it doesn't zap any poor, unsuspecting soul (thankfully). The "wand" pops, sparks, and then catches fire. She immediately drops it. ]
Shite!
xx. wildcard
[ ooc; If you want something related that isn't listed there or just want a random thread, feel free to hit me up on the discord server or at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
doggystyle and we can work something customized out. ]
WHAT: Conjury lessons and incidental mingling
WHEN: Throughout October
WHERE: Solvunn - Primary & the outskirts to the northeast
[ ooc; I default to brackets but I am happy to write in prose! Whatever you feel comfortable with. If you want to join training but haven't signed up yet first, feel free to do so in the link above. ]
i. conjury training; outskirts [CLOSED to current students]
[ If only E-Sumi-Yan could see her now. Being something of a protege in her own right, it was fairly common for Himeka to be asked to step in with both the new and senior members of the Conjurer's Guild. The only non-Padjal White Mage known and the Warrior of Light at that, all of them were keen to speak with her--hear her stories, learn from what they could.
Now...that never meant she was a particularly good mentor by any means. Truth be told, it was in these instances that she started to realize that in all her practice, most things came naturally and she hadn't spent much time thinking on the mechanics of what and how she was doing what she was.
Well, that's got to change. The Conjurer's Guild had centuries of experience and knowledge and training, while the other hopefuls here in Solvunn may need a little extra something if they are going up against any other nations bent on harnessing the power of the Singularity, for good or for ill. The least she can do is teach a few healing spells and show them how to throw rocks.
Rocks come first, of course. ]
Let's try this again.
[ She puts her hands on her hips, assuming what she hopes is an authoritative pose. ]
You only need to...force your will on the ground! Of sorts. As if you want it to move.
[ Yeah...totally easy! ]
ii. after hours; outskirts [OPEN]
[ White magics have come easy since she began her training, but despite her natural proclivity to magics in general, her other fields required a little more concentration. So when she finally calls it quits for that day's lessons, Himeka uses the evening hours to practice on her own. Without her job stones and proper equipment, channeling of Red and Black magics will take time. And as much as she enjoys running errands about town to meet people, being without her abilities those months in the dungeon have made their return feel all the more precious.
Standing (presumably alone) not far from the forest's edge, Himeka inhales slowly before calling forth her leylines beneath her feet, slowly rotating about her form. They make the air around her crackle as they settle and she refines their shape. It takes a few seconds.
Then, her vision darts to a large stone near by and, without much preamble, she raises her hands in the air as dark energy radiates and collects around them before an explosion of fire is set upon the stone, causing it to scorch and shatter--
--hopefully not to anyone who happens to be on the path nearby. ]
iii. a witch without a wand; solvunn proper [OPEN]
[ Himeka has quickly found that there is a reason that mages and sorcerers use all sorts of canes, wands, and rods to channel their magic--it's so much more easy to control and amplify. Therefore, she's determined to fashion something of one for herself.
And really, how hard can it be? She knows they are made from natural materials and Solvunn has an abundance of those about. So a few carved sticks and a nice rock or something should be good enough, right? Right!
Except as she sits on a fence that lines the road right into the center of town, she frowns as she looks down at her creation. She found a shiny stone and tied it with twine to a long stick, but it looks more like a child's attempt to make a club that anything an actual wielder of ancient magics would dare use. Not if they wanted to be taken seriously, at least.
Himeka sighs, watching the people walk to and fro into town. She lazily waves her "wand" and one of those people. ]
Zap.
[ Except it doesn't zap any poor, unsuspecting soul (thankfully). The "wand" pops, sparks, and then catches fire. She immediately drops it. ]
Shite!
xx. wildcard
[ ooc; If you want something related that isn't listed there or just want a random thread, feel free to hit me up on the discord server or at
cw brief mention of parental death
Hime?
[ It's probably a brain thing, is his first thought. He doesn't know shit about medicine. He can patch up external wounds, not. Fuck. The medical care here is so far behind what he's used to, and even if it wasn't they're in the middle of nowhere, and. Fuck.
There's a brief flash of a boy, younger than five, maybe one of the first things he remembers, but it's hazy, unclear, almost like a dream — not real except for the part where he knows on some level, in some way, this happened — that his mom is dead and Lydia is looking after him now, and it's gone before he can really even think about it. The impression of the memory is on his skin, and then it evaporates like it was never even there. Might as well have never happened, but for the feeling that his heart hurts, not the literal muscle, just. These aren't things he really. Feels.
Except Himeka's not dead, and the worst is over. He thinks. Hopes. Or else they're probably fucked.
Amos is kneeling beside her; he reaches out to touch her but only makes it so far as his hand hovering over her shoulder, like he'll fuck that up. His voice is soft, though. ] You okay?
no subject
Slowly she peels her eyes open, forcing her vision to focus on Amos' face. He's close but is clearly hesitant to touch--she wouldn't mind, but she doesn't force it on him either. Just as slowly she nods.
The name still rings in her head, clear as the day. ]
...Who is Lydia?
[ His...mother? ]
no subject
The relief instantly turns into nothingness when she says the name Lydia. Amos' body stiffens, frozen. A coldness washes over him, starting from his gut and covering every part of his being. He goes from slack-jawed to teeth clenched — not all that strongly, but any ease he might have been feeling is gone.
He doesn't know what the fuck just happened. He just knows whatever it was, he doesn't like it.
Amos pulls back from Himeka, more just so that he isn't hovering over her than to put any real distance between them. He sits back down and stares at her, wariness in his gaze, nostrils flaring. For a long time, he doesn't answer, just staring at her, assessing her as though she's a threat.
He could ask her how she knows that name, but he figures it doesn't really matter. He's just pissed that she does. Eventually, he jerks his stare back out towards the water, picks up his fishing rod again. His heart's not in it. His knuckles are white.
His voice is soft, but there's a rasp to it. An edge. ] That's personal.
no subject
She gathers herself, knowing that she shouldn't feel put off by the fact he withdrew comfort when it should be she who is offering to him. She has to remind herself of that.
Himeka keeps a hand at her temple as she tries to force the headache away, instead concentrating on her friend. On the image--all too like this--of him sitting by the water so many years ago. ]
I know.
[ Well...she knows that it's personal in that it was his. ]
But I saw her and you on some sort of dock. You were much younger.
no subject
He knows what she saw, then. Doesn't know how she knows, but he knows what, exactly, it was. He'd let his mind drift there, a not-quite-pleasant memory for the not-quite-pleasant time he's been having out in Solvunn — Himeka aside, until a minute ago — and. Well. There are worse things he could have remembered in that moment.
Better things too, though. He's not happy, but the edge is gone from his voice. He's wary, but he's not going to attack her or anything. (Unless he has to. This is new territory for him. And his day had gotten that much brighter when she'd shown up, until this.) ]
A kid.
[ That was him, yeah. He'd seen echoes of himself when he'd visited Baltimore for the first time as an adult not too long ago, too. Only that was him. His memories. This is.
Amos lets out an aggravated sigh, runs a hand through his hair in frustration, brushing back any strands that may have fallen onto his forehead. He doesn't know what to do with this. ]
How?
[ His voice goes from blunt to tired. He still doesn't answer her question. ]
no subject
That's for another time.
What Amos has shared of his past and the people he holds close has always been of his own volition. He's quiet, reserved with these sorts of things until he feels comfortable. Himeka knows this, but she pushes anyway. It isn't often that she receives a vision for no reason. This has to mean something, doesn't it? ]
Yes.
[ He doesn't elaborate, clearly upset. Should she be surprised?
But explanations are definitely in order. He's not from her world so this must seem strange. Hells, it's strange even back on the Source. ]
I have an ability known as the "Echo"...
[ She straightens, dropping her hand to her lap as she watches him with visible concern. ]
Which, in my case, means that I will sometimes catch glimpses of someone's past--near or distant.
no subject
But his ability to empathize has a limit, and somebody seeing that much of him, knowing that much of him, is too new and strange. Disconcerting. Nobody he's met since he left Baltimore the first time knows shit about Baltimore at all. And now here's somebody, not even of his world, and the amount she suddenly knows about him—
Amos listens, because that's about all he can do. He doesn't understand what she's saying at all. He also has no choice but to treat it as the truth. It's a shitty position to be in, at someone else's mercy like this. He doesn't like it.
He searches her face, his own blank, expressionless. There's something under there. It's not a good something, anger being the one emotion he's intimate with, roiling underneath. But he's good at staying empty, for the most part. Does a decent job of maintaining it here, too. ]
Why?
[ It's all he can think to ask. Why do you have this, why did you use this, why me. There's a hurt in his voice he only recognizes as the vague, completely unhelpful question escapes his lips. It's not often he's hurt. Might as well be a foreign feeling, except it's happened before, and that allows him to place it now.
Huh. Guess he'd built up more trust in her than he'd thought. And now they're here. ]
no subject
But to what end? ]
Why?
[ Himeka echoes, not sure what to do with the question. Why can she do this? Why does she choose to? Why would she choose to see something of his? Well, she can't, but he wouldn't know that, would he? But the way he asks it makes it see like a betrayal.
That is something she hadn't expected. ]
I don't always know why, but it's usually to show me...something? Something important to the person it's from.
[ She turns to face him fully, imploring. ]
Or are you asking why you?
no subject
Something important.
[ A mindless repetition; an affirmation. Yeah. That was kinda an important memory. Lydia was kinda an important person. Not anyone he's brought up. Past is in the past. And now Himeka knows—
Amos shakes his head, a sharp, jerky motion. His teeth are bared, not in threat but in frustration. A part of him curls inwards. He takes in another breath, deep; lets it out, long, and lifts his head again to look right at her. Corrects his posture. The tension in his body helps keep him upright, but that's about all it does. The part of him that's identified her as a threat is overwhelmed by the part that doesn't want it to be true, so for now, it isn't. His body just needs to catch up. ]
Yeah. It got you something important. [ Hurt and defeat in his voice, but he's meeting her gaze head on, eyes flat. He's in the process of trying to cauterize this. It's harder than he'd have thought. ] Guess I am asking why me.
[ Occasionally, he'll have let something slip. If it was relevant, if he needed to convince someone of something and his own personal experiences were the way to do it. This isn't that. He doesn't know what this is. ]
no subject
But he's on guard in ways that he hasn't been with her, even when the first met in Horizon. It's an Amos that she's not used to seeing--always a little withdrawn yes, but there's been a brimming warmth that peeks through the surface, like a part of him wants to share something with people even just in small doses.
Her own eyes drop from his gaze, normally not the type of person to shy away from that, and she can only shake her head. ]
I'm not sure.
[ All she can really offer is her honesty, isn't it? She knows it's not easy but...she's so used to people accepting this as just something that happens with her, around her, even when it isn't the nicest thing.
How foolish she would think that it would be accepted so readily elsewhere. Nor should it...it is invasive. It gives her insight, yes, but... ]
It just...happens sometimes. Maybe because you're here--because we're both here and you're my friend and something is troubling you? And She wants to give me some insight to help?
[ It isn't a memory of something world-ending--not for the greater cosmos, no. But it may be something world-shifting for Amos and that is enough. ]
no subject
[ There's a hint of skepticism to his voice. He looks back on their meeting in the Horizon, how different she looked then; her attempts to make him feel better in the prison yard, as fruitless as they'd ultimately been. How he'd felt when he'd found out she'd also chosen Solvunn.
How he'd felt when he'd seen her approaching him at the gulf's shores, just before all of this. It was better than he'd felt in ages. And now he feels... He doesn't even have a word for how he feels, if he even feels, just that it isn't anything good.
A friend wouldn't have done that in the first place.
The part of Amos that desperately wants things to go back to normal, knows there's a chance they never will, reminds him of the fact that whatever this was, it had hurt Himeka. That she'd said it just happens. That none of this was on purpose.
She could be lying. Based on every interaction they'd had until now, he doesn't think she is.
He notes the way her eyes drop. His own gaze doesn't break. He lets out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. ]
Don't know who She is — [ the only other she he's aware of here is Lydia, and that's simply not possible. Lydia is dead. She doesn't exist here — ] but Himeka. There's no helping me. I am what I am, and that ain't ever gonna change. Best I can do is...
[ His voice trails off as it dawns on him that this is exactly what he'd just been remembering: the first time Lydia had told him that he'd have to find someone who's a good person, and listen to them for instruction on how to go through life. (It wasn't the only time she'd tried to teach him that. Just the first.) He'd tried to cast Himeka in that role early on. Someone to help him.
And now, he doesn't know if he can go through with it. Or how much more he should really say to her.
His nostrils flare as he continues to stare at Himeka, trying to figure out what to do next. What to say. It occurs to him that he's fallen silent, has left her hanging like this.
His voice is that much lower, quieter when he decides to continue. ]
Best I can do is find someone to tell me how to be better. Remind me. Every single day of my life. There's no hope for me otherwise. It's the most important lesson I've ever been taught.
[ Probably shouldn't have said it out loud, probably shouldn't have validated any of this, but it's out there now. He doesn't think he was forced into saying it. But he never would've brought it up like this if all of this hadn't happened. He knows there's a difference; it's just hard to feel it right now. ]
no subject
She could explain who She is--Hydaelyn, the Mother Crystal and the one who bestowed Her abilities upon Himeka, whatever the implications--but she doesn't. That seems less important than what Amos is actually telling her.
Himeka shakes her head. ]
Be better? Better than what?
[ What she knows of his past is minimal, but nothing in it reeks of a bad person. She saw a sad boy on the docks guilty seeking comfort from a woman carrying her own heavy burden, and a man in love with his crew and craft. What is there to judge in that? ]
no subject
For all the things he's feeling right now that he can't put a name to, will never be able to put a name to, her question throws him. He's never been asked that before. (He's never shared this much before, that anyone would have a cause to ask him.)
Amos' lips part, and his voice dies in his throat immediately. All of the self-doubt and confused feelings about what Himeka actually is to him now have been replaced with bafflement.
He closes his mouth. Looks down. The gulf is in his peripheral vision. Back at Himeka. ]
Better than... me.
[ Shouldn't that be obvious? He doesn't get how that isn't obvious. ]
I'm not a good person. [ It's stated plainly, emotionless. He's just laying out the facts now. ] Just doesn't come naturally.
no subject
She's certainly not unfamiliar with questions of self-esteem or worth or inherent goodness. Despite appearances and her reputation as a Warrior of Light and Savior of whatever place she's been, Himeka has often question her owned motives and actions along the way. Were they really born out of her desire to do good or simply acting in accordance of what has been asked of her? Did it make up for all the good she may have been able to do by abandoning her home?
Himeka shakes her head, placing a hand over her heart, imploring. ]
All you have ever shown me and my friends has been kindness. You didn't need to, you still did.
no subject
What Amos doesn't expect is for her to protest. His gaze goes to her hand. His own hands stay still, folded in his lap. They were really only ever built for hard labour, for violence. None of the gentle movements Himeka is capable of; none of the sincere attempts to reach him she's giving.
The fact that she's seen a part of him — a part of his past — that nobody else has almost seems secondary now. He's still just. Confused. ]
Sure. Wouldn't have made sense to do anything else.
[ He pauses, searching for the words again. This is. It's hard, making someone understand what, exactly, he is. And of course she wouldn't know — when they'd first met, Amos hadn't remembered any of what made him the way he is. He'd been empty, amiable. The front he defaults to had been his entire being. And then he'd remembered who he is, and the front became just that: a front again, doing its best to hold back all of the other shit that makes him him.
He meets her eyes again. ]
It's not like I'm some kind of maniac. I don't get off on the shit I do. I just do it. I need someone to remind me not to. Otherwise, you know.
[ A half-hearted shrug. He fucks up; he hurts people; he doesn't give it a second thought. Story of his life, whenever he doesn't have an external, aftermarket conscience nearby. ]
no subject
She has to believe this is the case here too.
What this shit he does, though...she's not certain. But Himeka doesn't believe doing a few bad things can make you a bad person. Sometimes "bad things" need to be done. Sometimes the person realizes later and is resolved never to do them again. It's too nuanced, she's long since learned the world is far from black and white. ]
What is it, Amos?
[ The vision hasn't showed her, but it's clear that something else is weighing heavily on his mind. ]
What is it that you do?
no subject
A good day, nothing. Keep my head down. Do my job. If something comes up, though. Someone won't get off my back, or fucks with my people. I'll take 'em out. Kill them, if nobody stops me first. [ He pauses, like he's recalling something. ] Before I got here? When I had to make that trek through a nuclear winter? I mean, you need supplies for that. Not like you ask nicely to get 'em. Didn't even think twice about it until the friend I was with said it was fucked up that I was basically planning on killing a guy to take his stuff. Good people aren't like that.
[ He hasn't forgotten about what's led to him talking about all of this. It's still in the back of his mind, and it still feels weird, that Himeka has seen a part of him now that nobody else has.
But explaining himself — that, he has no qualms about, and once he found the words, they came pretty easily. At the very least, it's a distraction, and one he's perfectly content to lean into. Something that makes sense. ]
no subject
He could have every well written her off as someone disingenuous given her change of appearance in Horizon and the fact she hasn't offered to explain the differences. But he never did, accepting it just as she accepted what little bits of Amos he was willing to share.
So she'll accept this too. ]
...I'd be remiss to say that violence isn't always the answer. I've no small amount of blood on my hands too.
[ Himeka has to separate herself sometimes from the fact that she has killed people who were, in their eyes, just doing their jobs. She tries to avoid finishing blows if she can, but in war that isn't always possible. ]
But it sounds like you were just trying to survive and protect those you care about. Is that right? I won't say that planning to kill someone for what they have is a good thing, but...I certainly understand desperation.
no subject
[ Her admission that she's killed, too, elicits something gentle in him. His features, his voice soften. It's a two-fold response: that Himeka actually does understand some part of him — and with it comes something that could be construed as protective. Because good people shouldn't have to kill, and she's a good person—
She saw a part of his past that he doesn't, hasn't, would have never shared with anyone.
Amos looks down at the rocks that make up the shore to compensate. It's. He doesn't want to think about it. The whole question of killing people, for whatever reason, is much easier, so, back to that.
He looks back up at her with a shrug. ]
Yeah, it was about survival. And it worked. Some guy died, but me and Peaches got to live. I don't really care about anything more than that.
[ He stops, frowns. His gaze drifts in the direction of the town centre that actually makes up the Tertiary Settlement, the small and sparse buildings that can be seen grouped together in the distance, further back of the gulf. ]
I'd do it again, is the thing. Wouldn't think twice about it. Haven't had to here, but, you know. If shit went south, wouldn't be anything stopping me. Shouldn't be the case, but it is.
[ It's a plainly stated fact. He doesn't threaten; he just acts. He's dangerous without someone to guide him; hell, sometimes even with, if things get desperate enough. Though apparently desperation is understandable, but, still. Not like that makes it a good thing — especially not when it's his natural instinct. ]
no subject
Even so, she won't discount the fact that this is something that he sees as inherent in himself, second nature. Or that he can dismiss the man he killed as "some guy". Himeka expects a disconnect--it makes it easier to do when you don't know the names and the faces of the people you kill. It makes it easier to not think about the trickling effect to their friends, loved ones.
So no, she won't tell him it's a good thing like she wouldn't expect someone else to write off her own misdeeds, however necessary they may have felt at the time. To take a life is to take a life. No matter the circumstances, it sticks with you--and it should. ]
"If shit goes south", we would probably need someone willing to make the hard calls.
[ Sometimes you end up on the opposite side of someone you thought you could trust. Those choices are never easy. ]
Still...the choices we make in dire circumstances aren't always the ones we're proud of. I know the lengths I would go to protect the people close to me. And now I think I know yours too.
[ Is that what She is trying to show Himeka? How much she can trust Amos? ]
no subject
There's no trickling effect. If someone has a problem, maybe they end up dead, too. That's kinda about it.
It's never stuck with him. It never will.
But he doesn't hear how it works for her in her words — all he hears is an understanding. She's killed, and she knows what it's like, and he feels a mutual respect between the two of them that wasn't there before —
built off of her seeing his past which is something he never talks about never shares someone knows some of it he doesn't know what to do with that he's never had to think about it because it's never happened was never supposed to
— so maybe she gets him, after all.
So he looks at her. Really looks at her. And nods. ]
Sure. Yeah. Anyone fucks with my people, they're dead.
[ It really is that simple, except for a brief moment of hesitation. ]
... Unless my people don't want them dead. Then I won't. But I've usually been right about that. [ A casual shrug. ] That's me, though. Better I make the hard call than a friend who isn't built for it. I can live with it. People who can't shouldn't have to.
no subject
That they can put an end to these tragedies so people do not feel the need to go to such lengths is the real goal.
Himeka nods, quiet but slow. There's conviction in his own words even if it's put so simply. ]
Then I hope for all of our sakes that it doesn't come to that.
[ She offers a somber smile. ]
The factions haven't seen fit to go to battle with us here so far, but I doubt it will stay that way for long.
no subject
Kinda sounds like it's gonna come to that, then.
[ But he's out here, in the middle of nowhere. Safely tucked away from it all, where he can't fuck up, hurt anyone else.
(It vaguely occurs to him that this has hurt him. He doesn't like the feeling, foreign and weird, so he pushes it away, snuffs it out. If she's not gonna talk about it, then neither is he.
It's still there, though. Not consciously, but when he speaks, it's in the back of his mind: she knows something about you nobody else does. And it just. Puts a different tinge on things.)
Amos frowns. He's not sure what he's frowning at, just that things are different now. His voice is quiet when he speaks up again, maybe more to himself than her. ]
I just don't want to fuck up and kill the wrong people.
[ He clears his throat. Looks at his feet, the area around them, his eyes landing on the food she'd been taking out that's been long since forgotten. ]
Think your bread got ruined.
no subject
What we don't know is how Solvunn will handle the conflict.
[ Her smile dims a bit--quiet though he is, the admission doesn't escape her notice. But given the way he clears his throat, it feels like maybe that is pushing it one step too far. Of course it has been an invasion of his privacy to glimpse his past as much, but...
She can pretend she didn't hear that, right? Is that what would make him feel better?
The bread? Yes, there is definitely a few now on the sandy, rocky ground beneath them, so lovingly moistened by the remnants of the tide. Himeka purses her lips before she leans over and picks up the pieces, then pauses. ]
Well...mayhaps it belongs to the creatures that live hear now. They need to eat too, don't they?
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Of course, he also doesn't really care what anyone else does. It's none of his business. Not his concern. So it earns a half-hearted shrug.
He's withdrawn into himself enough that he doesn't really notice how she offers him that kindness of pretending not to hear him. It's still in the back of his mind that he's inadvertently shared Lydia with someone else, and that's something he's... never done. Was never going to do.
It's time to stop thinking about it, so he does. Consciously, at least. But who knows what'll resurface in his mind when he's not looking. It's rare, but when shit sneaks up on him...
He looks back up at Himeka, expression maybe not as open as it would have been when they were at their closest, but certainly not closed off, either. Present in the moment. Engaging her like... maybe not someone he'd choose to follow, but someone he likes well enough. ]
They eat bread?
[ Probably a stupid question. Bread's edible, anything would eat it. He toes at a roll close to his foot, watches it get swept up in the water entirely.
Looks back at Himeka. ]
Did you bring anything else?
[ And maybe that's that. At least for now. ]
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