abraxaslogs | First Count The Cost ★ Closed

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First Count The Cost ★ Closed

Who: Commander Shepard and Garrus Vakarian
When: July/August
Where: Free Cities Badlands
What: Free Cities Quest: Restoring Foundations
Warnings: foul language, violence

She wasn't much given to jingoistic sentiment, these days.

Oh, as a child, she'd been as xenophobic as anyone, and well into her time in the Alliance that attitude has persevered. Shepard had been a reliable vote for the Terra Firma party right up until— Ha, it was funny to think of it now, but it hadn't been until she'd met Garrus. Not the first time she'd met him, of course; the second time. Coming up the stairs out from a shoot-out in a medical clinic, still smelling of Eezo and with a Turian's eyes burning a hole in the back of her head, she'd seen them campaigning in the commons and reevaluated a few things. Never let it be said she isn't a fast learner, nor willing to change her mind, when she's wrong.

Just like that day, those bought men waving guns at doctors, Shepard is on this day forced to admit that really it's her own damn species that's at the root of most of her problems.

"Bandits," Shepard sighs, trudging along. The sun is a high and heavy weight on her shoulders, not unlike the pack on her back; it's N-1 all over again, right down to the forced marches and rationing. Except she hadn't had to wear a stupid straw hat to keep off the heat stroke, during basic, "It's always bandits. And mercs. And slavers. You think they ever get tired of making people hate them for a living?"

Hate might be a strong word, for the mercs. At least they could argue to be offering an honest service, outside of council space. Sort of. Murder was still illegal, even on Noveria... Right?

"Garrus, you still with me?"

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Garrus, meanwhile, is grinning like an idiot. If and when they actually get back to Citadel Space, he's going to have to school his expressions again. Re-learn how to do that. He's gotten way too lax here, where Shepard is the only one who can read him. To their new guide, it probably looks like he's making a threat display or something.

"I can't gauge the distance for crap," he says, playing along. Like hell a sharpshooter couldn't gauge distance. "I guess we'll know if you start panicking, right?"

That's all he says as he hauls the unfortunate bandit forward. Actually making him walk over his comrades is probably a bit much, but Garrus doesn't have any such sympathy. He kicks a leg as he walks. As they move up near Shepard, he inclines his head to her, still laughing silently.

"Mind grabbing my bag? Hate to let go of our pal here to pick it up... He might fall over."

Or get loose. He'll still carry the bag, of course, but he's loathe to let the bandit go to pick it up.

When he mentions the depth perception issue, she feels a momentary pang; he'd mentioned vision issues, was it still that bad? But this isn't the time.

"Yeah, I got it," Shepard hefts his pack in both hands, hauling along until she can stand watch while he straps it on, fixing their hostage with what she knows is a murderous look in her eyes. It's a good look, truly; she's seen it in the mirror, but he seems antsy, regardless, "Hey. Eyes on me."

The man looks up slowly, reluctant as a guilty child. She waits.

"You know Summoned have powers that you natives can't match, right? I can hit you at a hundred meters, easy. Don't get stupid: you can't outrun me, and I will kill you."

The bandit swallows, and goes back to studying the ground he's standing on. No, there won't be any escape today.

It's... definitely a good look. He pauses, just for a moment, to appreciate it. It's probably not too obvious to their new friend, but he absolutely gives Shepard a slow, appraising look once she gets that expression on her face. So sue him, she's damn attractive like that.

He only looks away when it comes to strapping his pack back into place. Shifting it slightly until it settles where it sits best on his unique anatomy. That done, his hand clamps back down on the bandit's shoulder.

"She's underestimating," he advises. Just a little too loud to be totally private. "I've seen her hit a moving target at four hundred meters." Okay, that was in the Mako. But, again, what this guy doesn't know won't hurt them.

Besides, he could probably hit something that far out, even if Shepard couldn't.

"Glad we all came to this understanding."

She shifts her glare over the bandit's shoulder as he looks away, and gives him a look as if to say, 'really, Garrus?' The effect is somewhat marred by the way she visibly straightens, trying not to smirk. Alright, yes, fine, they are neither of them taking this seriously, are they? Then again, why should they? These men weren't a threat, they were a joke— to the two of them, at least.

Much less so, to some of the other soldiers who might walk this route in the future. Better that they put the fear of every possible god into them now, and spare the next hapless infantryman the trouble.

"Get walking," She says, when he's finally ready, managing a tone of amused boredom, despite their distraction. Once their little 'pet' is far enough ahead to make for a suitable guide, Shepard nudges Garrus with a grin of her own, "Having fun, Mr. Vakarian?"

The man stumbles along for a couple of miles, at times distractingly slow, and at others too-quickly, as if he hoped to outpace them. But Shepard and Garrus are well-watered, uninjured, unworried, and in Garrus' case probably not even particularly overheated, the bastard. To call it a hot fucking time of day in this godsforsaken desert would be an understatement.

But it comes, eventually; the inevitable betrayal. The bandit, they never did find out his name, seems to grow calmer as they approach the shadowy dip in the landscape. An old gully, the water-drain for badlands flash-floods, bridged here and there by rocky outcroppings, appears at first as a dim grey smudge, then a deeper line, progressively more visible with every step they take. He goes from stumbling-tired, to wearily purposeful, and then abruptly breaks into a run. Yep, that's the spot alright.

"Oh, here we go," Shepard says, unconcerned, "You wanna, or should I?"

"I'm enjoying not being the 'pet' anymore," he says in answer. Just loud enough for their new friend to hear. He sees the man twitch, and does his best to keep the amusement out of his voice. Shepard likely can tell, even if no one else here can. "It was nice to get a warm up before we have to cut loose."

For them, it definitely was little more than a warmup. For the kinds of things they've faced down, a handful of desert bandits were little more than some exercise. Like this hike. He's taking it all in stride, literally. It's hot, sure, but biology is in his favor out here, unlike it would be if they were at the seashore. Or out in the snow.

That damned snow. If he never sets foot in it again, it'll be too soon.

Speaking of too soon...

"Damn. Why do they always try to run?" At least he'd gotten them within sight of the mentioned landmark. He looks at her. "We did tell him you could take him out at a hundred meters. Hate to make you a liar."

But he's slinging off his crossbow, regardless.

She laughs, in part at his offended act, and in part at the way the man reacts when he says it. You'd think nobody'd ever called him Shepard's attack-dog... or maybe Turian marines are more subtle than the Human versions are.

"Oh go on," She says, gesturing at his retreating back, "You've been wanting to show off your sharpshooting with that thing for a while."

Besides, once she starts in with the real biotics, that'll turn a break from a smart idea into an absolute necessity. Then they really will be late, in a way that a forced-march or an earlier morning departure won't be able to cover for— privately, Shepard acknowledges that a speedy rendezvous at their destination is probably a pipe-dream. But still; you gotta try. And she does love to watch him work.

"Let's see your best shot."

Okay, but that was a point of honor. It was like being called her right hand. And humans liked dogs, right? "Pet" was something completely different! Sort of! According to his pride, anyway.

"Yes ma'am."

And he pulls it up to his eye in a smooth motion. It's not quite like a rifle - it never will be. But the motion is similar enough. So is aiming. The man is running in a straight line, too. Why he thinks that's a good idea, Garrus doesn't know. It's a bad move, though.

Because it's easy to line up the shot. It's easy to squeeze the trigger.

The bandit jerks. A bolt sprouts from the back of his head. They're far enough away to miss the fine spray of blood from his forehead, but not the way his body keeps moving a few feet before it drops.

"Scoped and dropped."

The momentum carries him beyond his time of death, flopping the body down like the ugly sack of water that it is. Shepard considers the prospect, the distance to the canyon, the time of day, and the inevitability of scavengers. Food was an issue, as was water— more for her less than stellar Human endurance than his. That they could win any fight at the proposed meeting-spot was no serious question, but neither was answering said hypothetical the mission at hand. Furthermore, were they to retrace their steps, they would surely have to contend with Varren and whatever else was living out here, and that might be the smart play. No point in teaching local wildlife to expect a handout on the trade route, after all.

Either way, they weren't equipped for a fight, however straightforward. Time and resources were against them, and Free Cities, like most Armies, did not reward independent thinkers.

"Alright, mark that spot on the map. We'll be back when the outposts aren't waiting on resupply," She pronounced, a fitting conclusion to the bandit's worthless life. They'd never even gotten his name, not that it would have mattered, "Mission takes priority."

His answer is to put the crossbow away again, digging around for the map instead. It's a simple thing - Shepard made the call. He understands. Mission always takes priority. Especially in this case. People needed the supplies they had - and they'd already delayed. Granted, that wasn't their fault, but still.

"One second..." Marking on an actual map instead of just logging coordinates took a while to relearn. He'd picked it up reasonably quickly, especially with the tools available. He's got one of the little portable things now. Carefully marking the corpse, and a general radius area of where the meetup point.

"Got it. Right behind you, Shepard."

The trek back the way they'd come was uneventful. At one point, Shepard stopped to swig from her flask, an unappealing warm metallic flavor, and saw vultures circling behind them. The sun is beginning to set by the time they join back with the original ambush-site, and it's the sort of altercation with a pack of wild varren that Shepard would have written down as, Local wildlife encountered in her report, had she been submitting one in writing.

Less pleasant is the job of burning the bodies— as much to prevent further scavengers being attracted to the road, as to respect the dead. Besides, for all she knows this is how you get zombies. Even after two years, after a thousand years, Shepard still doesn't really get many of the rules of this place.

Then it's back to walking, marching through the twilight until real dark finally settles in, its grip tightening with a bony cold. Shepard finally calls a halt when the moon rises, deeming it ground enough to have made up for the day, and sets their camp with a distinctive boulder at their backs, to shelter from the wind, and hide the light of their fire— from one angle, at least.

"Damn," She says, waiting for the water to boil and the rations, a rehydrated stew, to thereby become edible. Outside their ring of warmth and light, the night-insects are singing, and the small creatures of the badlands are living their hurried, violent little lives, tiny rustles in the bush, "I always forget how tiring this kind of walk can get. How you holding up?"

The smell of burning bodies is always the worst. No matter how often it comes up. No matter how many times you have to deal with it. He thought he was more used to it, on Omega. Maybe he had been. Maybe he was getting soft. But they move on, they deal with varren and occasionally a very overzealous carrion bird.

And the sudden shift from broiling to freezing is never fun, either. Again, he doesn't complain. Just sets about his tasks around the campsite. Settling in once Shepard does, though closer to the fire than she likely is.

"Hey, don't worry about me. I like this kind of weather." And he may or may not have been keeping his strides shorter for the duration of their march. As per usual when traveling with humans. And her. "Glad it's not snowing. But... did we really have to bring varren with us? Why not something nice? Like your fish."

"Hey, I didn't invite 'em," She raises a half-joking middle finger at him when he mentions snow. This is a dessert, asshole, "Take it up with the Singularity. Better yet, take it up with Tuchanka, for exporting their wildlife everywhere."

Ah, her fish. It's kind of a funny idea, really: imagining that stupid tank lining the wall of the barracks. The walls of the Free Cities fort were adobe and stone, cut and placed by hand, mortared with local soil. They weren't exactly "primitive" but there was a certain... oldness to them, an immovability. One day, when someone finally got around to rigging the place with electric lights, they'd have to put the wiring outside the walls, rather than in them.

"I think I've killed enough fish for one lifetime," She said, still smirking at the mental juxtaposition of it; the whole idea of the place seemed totally at-odds with those fish, the real ones at least, "At least the Horizon ones don't starve when I forget to go up there too many shifts in a row."

This is where a human would stick their tongue back out at that raised middle finger. Instead, he flutters his mandibles at her, as close a mimicry of a raspberry as he's going to get. "I should, sometime, shouldn't I? Waltz up there and demand to know why it hauled the most annoying creature off Tuchanka."

He won't, but it's amusing to picture.

If it were even possible to get a fish tank out here, he might have looked into it. The fish tank, while it could be tedious to take care of, seemed like it was relaxing. Seemed like a good thing, in the tension of all the missions. Especially once the auto-feeder - oh, right.

"Here's another spoiler for your future - we installed an auto-feeder for you. Significantly cut down on fish-related casualties."

"Well now I know how bad the Reapers really got, if I needed a VI just to keep my pets alive," Shepard says, and wonders even as she hears her own voice whether or not it's a step too far. The Reaper War was still, in a lot of ways, academic to her; something she had been bracing for, and building towards, and then...

Nothing. Two years in Cadens, marching around the Free Cities doing work that ultimately amounted to fuckall.

"Hey," She says, abruptly, "Come here. Sit with me."

It's grown chill enough that she's feeling it, and surely so is he. She remembers how he feels about the cold, and anyways... it's not as if privacy were easy to come by, back at base. This mission was a pleasant break in the pace, in more ways than one.

"How are you doing, these days? About all this. Abraxas... the Reapers. Any of it. Talk to me, Garrus."

Oops. The wince, he hopes, isn't as obvious as he feels like it is. There's not really a way to hide the way he scratches at the back of his neck. Uncertain. Maybe he shouldn't talk about it. Leave it alone and not keep poking at things. He'd been trying to keep things optimistic, but if it wasn't helping...

But the order (request) is easy to follow. To stand and shift across their makeshift little camp. Sit with her, she'd said. So surely she won't mind a long arm draped over her shoulders. In the interest of warmth. Yep.

He won't lie, though. Closeness is nice. Draped on her is nice.

"I don't know," he admits. "We need to get back. No question there. We're needed there." There's duty. There's people relying on them. "I don't like how out of my depth I am here. I'm learning, but... it never feels like enough to handle what gets thrown at us."

He doesn't like not knowing what's happening to him, physically.

It immediately feels safer, more secure, to have Garrus closer. Logically, that isn't true, and the analytical part of Shepard's mind that can never truly let go notes the open sight-lines of the planes, the potential of the sparse vegetation to provide visual cover, the...

Easy. Easy. Let it go.

"I agree," That they're needed, that they should get back in the fight, that Shepard should... or maybe that's selfish. Still, it doesn't change the fact that, for whatever reason, the galaxy really does seem to need the services of a mid-ranked Alliance CO, "...On both counts."

It's infuriating, really. She reads, does research, asks questions, and never really seems to get her head around it. And every time she does, it changes, or drops her in the middle of a weeks-long hallucinatory trip to the future, or... or something else. There has to be an underlying logic to this stupid planet, something to guide all the madness— but Shepard can't see it.

"Not exactly what I envisioned for a vacation-spot, I'll tell you that much."

That's never something that's easy to let go. He doesn't know how, either. Before relaxing, he shifts a bit more. Checks around for anyone staring. Anything that could possibly conceal an ambush. Nothing. Safe enough to lean into body heat and familiarity. Sometimes, even all this time later, he still wonders if he'll wake up. If this is some wild dream.

He makes a quiet hum of agreement, leaning slightly sideways to slot her head under his chin. Just for a second. It's not practical to go all out canoodling out here. One little one, though.

"Well... at least this one doesn't have the Council." That seems to be a nice, safe reference. Then he frowns, adding: "On the other hand, there's three whole factions worth of politics to deal with instead."

"So, what's three or four short-sighted idiots, more or less?" Shepard knows better than to hope for a war; wars are messy, and destructive, and almost never worth what they cost to pursue, but...

...Most days, it just feels like it'd be a relief if the other shoe were to drop, the three Factions finally stop screwing around, and get on with it.

"I'm tryin' to find reasons to give a shit about any it, honestly. I hate this planet— and the other Summoned aren't much better," She says it not with fire, but real anger, slow and hot, the same low dissatisfied way she's spoken in the past about Torfan, Horizon, and Aite, "For every decent person among them there's two I could waste a bullet on."

But he rests his head on hers and by degrees she relaxes again. It's getting colder, and the fire is crackling, the stew making quiet noises in its little tin pot. Garrus is a solid wall of warmth beside her, and there's a soft place just under his chin, where there's neither plate, nor scale, nor bone, nor even hide— just skin. Soft, where his pulse runs, and where all the joints need room to flex together. The kind of place only a lover gets to touch; not for passion, even, just... intimate. Private.

"...Sorry." She doesn't sound sorry. But she doesn't sound angry anymore, either. "Have I mentioned I'm not good at being out of the fight?"

"Could be three or four Udinas." Except he was dead, but. Still. That would be bad. In so many ways. Things probably would have exploded into war months ago.

Speaking of... he hums acknowledgment again. Quiet, not an affirmative, not a disagreement. He heard, he hears. Nothing about this has been easy. Almost exactly the opposite, really. "They're not that bad," he says instead, lightly. The first name to mind is Koby. One he viciously closes his jaw around. Hoping there's not an audible click when he does. "We just have to get you to run in my circles sometime. Meet the guy who smokes more than the Illusive Man. Or some more of Nadine's people."

If she wants it. He'll offer it to her any time she wants it. To try and bridge a gap, if it exists. To make things easier. That's what he's there for, isn't it?

"Really? Didn't notice." More amusement, affection. "I don't think you'll have to worry... way things are heading, we might be facing another blowup."

"You that eager to introduce your girlfriend around?" Shepard is more than willing to give up and let him draw her into the joke. And alright, it had been hyperbole.

Even if there were at least a few Summoned she really could have gladly strangled, lately.

"Yeah, I noticed. The Libertas situation's a disaster, and Free Cities is stealing research for weapons manufacture. It's like if Noveria weren't so cold," It's finally full dark, now, the last violet fingers of twilight losing their grip on the sunset, and the vault of night-time sky a rich, velvet dark above the fire-glare and smoke, "At least they're doing something more than sucking people off of their homeworlds and slapping them on the streets. That's... technically progress."

"What can I say? I'm really proud of the work she does. And I want the whole weird planet to know."

Garrus you big sap. Despite the teasing, part of him is absolutely serious. He would absolutely tell anyone how incredible she is. As many times as he had breath to say it.

"Weapons manufacture... in this age." He shakes his head, his eyes on desert beyond the fire, then the flames themselves. "I can't help thinking they're going to get in over their heads. Like Tuchanka." Like the krogan. One big arms race that ended in the planet a radioactive rubble pile. "Technically, sure. Let's go with that."

Despite the grim tone, he still pulls a smile out of her. It's always good to talk to someone who understands what you mean, without having to spell it out; that they work for these people, but don't respect them. That they follow orders not because they have to, but because they choose to. It's not a game, exactly, but it's like...

...It's like the Bandits. They know their worth, and it's better than this. The whole situation, as embedded in it as they are, still feels like it's happening to somewhere else, something outside their real sphere of concern.

Maybe that's not really the healthiest way of looking at things.

"Could be worse," she acknowledges, because that's always true. Even Tuchanka could be worse, bad as it is. Shepard tilts her head back, so she can look him in the eye, "Whatever happens, we've got each other, and we've got a goal."

"It could be," he agrees. "You could be stuck here with someone a lot less charming."

He does know what she means. If he were here alone, this would feel impossible. Insurmountable. Maybe he would still be able to make the connections he has, meet the people he has, but on the other hand... if he knew Shepard was somewhere else, someone who counted on him, and who he counted so much on in return?

This place would be hellish.

"Joker comes to mind."

Of course, though, he's going to make this more lighthearted than reflective. They're on a mission here. Reflections are for late nights at home base, and too many drinks.

"Ha."

That's a terrible thought; most of their crew would struggle to cope here, every bit as much as they have, or more, but none so much as Joker. This world was rough, and physical, and had nothing of flight or piloting in it; if you were missing a leg, or blind, or simply inhuman, there would be ways around that. The image of Joker limping around Cadens, or trying to convince the Free Cities that someone like him had a military career worth being damn proud of, despite his glass bones and acid disposition...

...It'd be funny, for about an hour. After that, it'd be... Well. Wouldn't be the first time Shepard had to defend Joker. The asshole. God, she missed him.

"Alright, time to turn in. Got places to be tomorrow— you take first watch?"

"I'm on it."

He'd been thinking only in the humorous sense. That Joker would spend the entire time bitching and complaining. If he actually were here, then it would be a whole other mess, and not one he'd actually wish on the man. Practicality would come if the situation presented itself.

Instead, he'll sit up. Take his watch with crossbow in hand. His attention fully devoted to the task. It's not ideal to track time by the stars, but hey, at least they're clearly visible. The time passes without more than a few scattered desert predators - nothing large enough to come close. He'll nudge her, at the appropriate time, and take his own rest.

... and hey, he didn't even complain about the cold desert air.

First Count The Cost ★ Closed

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Fin