[ open ]

[hairington]

Who: steve and you
When: july-august
Where: nocwich, horizon, solvunn, etc.
What: steve is forcing himself back into some form of life/routine, at least he hopes so
Warnings: n/a

Comments

[hairington]

[ he does see the flicker of anxiety, knows that for a breath, not even a full moment, eddie's entire heart will be in his throat. but he just has to press through that moment, he just has to make it, and then-

part of steve wishes he could have been more patient, that maybe he could have seen more of eddie's reaction. more of that small, precious moment where eddie realized what steve was going to do before he did it. but at the same time, he knows he can't really wait any longer. eddie's answer is pretty instantaneous, and that's all that steve is really waiting for. the jolt is expected, steve very nearly was prepared to be punched, but then they're kissing, they're actually kissing, and part of steve feels like this might be the only right thing he's done in weeks. months, maybe. more than that? who even knows, who even knows.

he wishes he could follow eddie's hands, wants to know what eddie reaches for when he's not really thinking about it, but steve loses himself in the kiss, too. more than he expects, more than he even realizes, until eddie is pulling away from the kiss to breathe. until steve realizes how much he needs to breathe. eddie's hands are- were? still are?- curled in eddie's hair and its good, god it's good.

holy shit eddie says, softly, eyes wide, and steve can't help but smile. somewhat sheepish, somewhat guiltily, somewhat nervous as to what eddie's reaction is going to be. the voice in the back of his head tells him he shouldn't be, he doesn't have to be, and as eddie clutches at his chest and swoons, steve laughs. ]

You're such a nerd.

[ he says, but he's laughing, too, and after a moment he leans over where eddie's lying out in the grass. leans over eddie, with one hand propped next to eddie's ear, and just kind of smiles. the hand he's not using to pop himself up reaches over and curls around one lock of eddie's brown hair, something he's kind of belatedly realizing he's thought about before. probably a few times before. and now he's... allowed? or at least, allows himself to. ]

What about a second?

[ he hopes clarisse can feel this, and is screaming - off in some other universe - about how right she's been. steve will let her have that, he thinks. he's feeling pretty on top of the world right now, so he thinks he can give her at least that. ]

[satanicpanics]

Mmhm. You’re one to talk. Nerd kisser.

[ That really might have been the cure for Eddie’s anxiety all along, because he seems almost entirely zapped of it now. He’s still buzzing internally, and he’s sure that his heart is still beating louder than a snare drum, but you’d never know it by looking at him. There’s a languid, self-satisfied smile on his face, and just for a moment, his eyes drift shut as Steve’s hand curls into his hair.

Because he knows now that this is okay. What they’re feeling is mutual, and he doesn’t need to be terrified by it anymore. What they have isn’t going to be lost or destroyed—it’s just changing, and it has been for awhile.

If he were to think for a moment, he’d realize there have been several little moment over the past two years that predicted this—skipped heartbeats and strange feelings and gazes that lingered a little too long to be normal. But if he had to pinpoint the event that really set things in motion for him, it happened long before the crater. It was last year’s birthday gift, his literal prized possession in Solvunn, that really made him stumble and fall for Steve Harrington. ]

How about we don’t keep count?

[ He eyelids flutter open again and he grins as he locks eyes with Steve. He props himself up on his elbows, pushing himself up for another kiss, but before things can get too serious again, he pulls back quickly to tack on: ]

But uh, Steve? You kiss me again and you’re absolutely gonna have to carry me out of here, you are aware of that?

[ Listen…it was on the table and he’s not just going to pass it up. And his knees…they’re weak… ]

[hairington]

Nerd kisser? Really?

[ Steve tries to sound unimpressed. Almost like he might roll his eyes. It’s not eddie’s best work, but he’s not even all that invested in making fun of him for it, too interested in the languid, happy expression on Eddie’s face.

That’s what all this is for, really, and if that isn’t the sappiest thing Steve has ever thought, he doesn’t know what is. But it is the truth - that some anxious, worried, tightened part of Steve’s chest unfurls just because of the way Eddie watches him back. How easily his eyes fall shut, content, safe, happy.

Steve keeps watching him, stealing those few seconds to just let his eyes wander. It’s a weird feeling, knowing they’ve been this close, knowing that they’ve kind of been this kind of casually physical, but this somehow feels so different. Steve likes the feeling, the kind of content, proud, satisfied swell in his chest when Eddie’s eyes flutter open and meet his own. ]

I can get behind that. [ he says with a matching grin, letting Eddie lean up and kiss him that second time, testing the waters just a little before Eddie pulls away and mentions the whole carrying thing again, and Steve does roll his eyes at that.

There is a sigh, he puts up a good fight, but it doesn’t last very long. ]

Yeah, yeah. Pretty sure I was always carrying you out of here.

[ he steals a kiss, as if to prove his point, but then it’s his turn to lean back - catching Eddie’s eyes and doing his best to look at least kind of serious. ] But only if we get to make out in the back of the Pontiac. I have always wanted to make out in the back of a Pontiac. [ Steve doesn’t give Eddie a chance to answer, instead leaning in to kiss him again, the hand playing in Eddie’s hair moving to cup Eddie’s jaw, and cheek, and maybe even move behind his neck again. He doesn’t want to be pushy, so he’ll let Eddie dictate the speed and intensity here - but Steve isn’t really interested in stopping, either.

They’re in no rush. ]

[satanicpanics]

I don’t hear you denying it. And Steve, there are only so many eloquent ways I can put it. Freak fraternizer? Loser smoocher?

[ He is well aware none of it is his best work, thank you very much, but he laughs at himself regardless. He’s too happy and too content to think up something more clever (though “freak fraternizer” isn’t half bad, you have to admit), and it really is incredible how in the span of moments, everything can suddenly be made right. Things haven’t felt right for a long time.

The last year has been more difficult than Eddie will ever admit, with event after event just stacking up to an unbearable weight. The eternal threat of a war that never seems to come, all the bullshit the gods seem to be stirring up, and even just bearing witness to the way Nero’s death has so deeply affected Steve.

Then there was the crater. The way it sparked a fear of abandonment in him that he’s sure was never quite so blatant before, and the way his brain kept playing tricks on him long afterwards, when again and again he’d think about reaching for Steve’s hand but he’d stop himself because the knot in the pit of his stomach would remind him that what they’d experienced wasn’t real no matter what Clarisse La Rue said—

And sure, most of those things aren’t gone. The gods and war and his fear of being left alone haven’t disappeared just because two guys got their shit together, but in the grand scheme of things? They don’t feel quite so crushing anymore. ]

Yeah, well, it’s kind of the least you can do considering this is all your fault, Steve.

[ He grins wickedly, but he’s not being totally dishonest. He’s convinced that if he tried to stand now, he’d fold at the knees like a newborn deer, and that feeling isn’t going away anytime soon.

The gap between them is getting a little too large for Eddie’s liking, and he chases that stolen kiss, leaning back in as Steve leans away in an attempt to close it. He begins to say something, or begins to laugh about the comment about the Pontiac, but Steve steals his breath away for a second time (but they’re not counting), and whatever it was, it’s not so important anymore.

He melts into the kiss, revels in the feeling of Steve’s hand in his hair, or on his jaw, and the thrill of being allowed to touch him without be afraid of what might happen. And as they lock together, he comes to the immediate conclusion that he’s never going to be able to live without this again and it would be cruel to deprive him of it.

Though he can’t help but think, now that Steve brings it up...making out in the back of a Pontiac could easily be a newfound lifelong dream of Eddie’s as well. ]