abraxaslogs | EVENT #20: ADVENT

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EVENT #20: ADVENT - IC EVENT LOG

Event #20 - Advent

The Badlands has remained contested territory between Thorne and the Free Cities for many years. During a mediation two years ago, a resolution was attempted but fell apart. The Badlands is valued for being the direct route toward the Singularity...meaning it was only a matter of time before conflict broke out over it.

Early in AUGUST, Thorne and the Free Cities begin to march on the Badlands. The clash is bloody and violent, taking place exclusively on the ground. Although the Free Cities military has its share of firearms, such things are still rare and expensive. Most of the fighting, as expected, makes use of horses, swords, arrows, and - of course - magic.

The territories won't call upon Summoned like yourselves. You are meant for something more important. If you insist on joining the fight, they may approve depending on who you are and what you plan to do. Soon, however, a powerful force emerges, one far bigger than just another clash of swords.

This event draws on a previous event involving the Heralds of War. Knowledge of this past event is not necessary, but you may review the information for added context if you wish!

The consequences of Solvunn's choice in Event #18 occur at the end of the event. The result of this act will be further detailed in the Wrap-Up.

Overture

The return of the Heralds might stir familiarity within some of you. You may recall how they whispered in your ears, planted visions of death, or corrupted the Horizon. This time, although their coming spreads across the land, you as the Summoned are remarkably resistant to the Gods' influences. Newer arrivals might be more susceptible, but those of you who have been here for months or years won't find yourselves afflicted much, if at all...until you start to make your choices.

As the Summoned, certain actions may open you up to vulnerabilities. Everything you do carries a weight. If you experienced the emergent reality, you'll likely have learned that lesson. You're not fully one of the Gods yet, but your connection to the Singularity means the magic that flows through you contains both a great capacity to help others and a cost that comes with it which you must consider.

A Taste of Blood

It begins sometime in mid-August, around the 16th onward. Not everyone will experience it at the same time. You might even believe you're spared until days afterward when you're visited by an unusually vivid dream.

The dream starts the same for everyone: you are going somewhere, anywhere, walking to your bedroom, or enjoying a stroll on the beach. You might be driving down a familiar neighborhood. Wherever you're headed, you find that the world around you shifts. Thin red veins spiderweb across nearby surfaces. As you press on, they become engorged with blood until they form a fleshy tunnel. A light at the end beckons you. You can turn around if you want, but aren't you curious?

If you proceed, you eventually come upon a beating human heart with your Arcana painted in gold. A swarm of large mosquitos quickly encase the heart, sucking it dry. As their abdomens become fat with blood, more and more join the swarm until it becomes a whirlwind of insects that gradually take on a large humanoid shape: bright red with blood with horns bent upwards like a lopsided crescent moon.

This is Zorne of Last Blood, the eldest of the Heralds of War.

The veins are pulled in by the insects, connecting one to the next and holding them in place like latticework of sinew. No longer obscured, the world that surrounds you is bleak and gray. A large sword materializes in Zorne's hand. Holding it aloft, he measures your resolve.

◎ If you have spilled blood, the blade begins to drip with it. The steel beneath glows hot, then begins to harden.
◎ If you have not spilled blood, the blade turns brittle, eventually falling to dust.

Zorne accepts you regardless. He sits down on his simple stone throne, laying the sword against the armrest. His eyes are thinly veiled sockets in a skull made of insects, downcast towards where you stand below his form. A thin layer of red skin stretches across his mouth with every word he speaks.

"The path...has been chosen. The snake has found its tail. Each new age rises from the ashes of its grave. It is...as it always has been."

Zorne holds the sword up again. Behind his throne, you glimpse the rays of a rising sun.

"A sword hardens in the fire. In the darkened hearts of mortals. Destruction heralds purification from madness.

All things end before they begin. Mortals, Gods, the smallest insect. And when it ends...we will be there. I will be there. And you...little godling...must find your place in that end."

The sun reaches its apex. It is blazing and fierce, as though it might soon swallow you in its fury - and then it does.

Do you feel at peace from its cleansing fire? Strengthened by it? Or is it purely unimaginable pain and fear that consumes you?

Zorne's sword measures the blood on your character's hands as perceived by them. A character who took only one important life to save the world may see as much blood on that sword as another who killed many to do the same.

Making Your Choices

Whether you believe Zorne or not, you must still do something, even if that something is nothing. As things unfold before your very eyes, you can decide whether you will aid the Heralds for what you may believe is the greater good, help the individuals you can't deny, or decline any involvement at all.

General Effects

Each territory will have a set of circumstances brought forth by a combination of human actions and the Heralds. Those who experienced the afflictions in the past may recognize that the Heralds never implanted or controled your thoughts. Instead, they showed you visions, whispered in your ear, or coaxed you to indulge the darker impulses that live inside you.

The same effect will take hold of the regular citizens now, whose dispositions play a large role in what the Heralds can influence and how much. This is made most obvious by the fact that children are the least impacted. The younger and the fewer their worries, the less vulnerable they are. Of those who are afflicted, the effect might manifest in ways that are more fitting of a child: dreams of a beloved pet dying, bullying a sibling, or giving in to the desire to steal a toy. Adults who are naturally and genuinely carefree may also fail to be affected by Koth's despair or Adlewyrd's poisonous thoughts.

Vulnerabilities

Your status as the Summoned affords you some protection. The longer you've been in Abraxas, the less open you will be to influence. However, depending on what you do, this might change.

◎ If you choose to counter a Herald's influences, you may inadvertently absorb the affliction's effects or experience a "bleedover" from the person you're helping. The more you do this, the more severe the impact will become. You might also be concerned by the new ability you're exhibiting when countering an affliction. Though the ability is small, you feel its power coursing through you. When you try to call on it outside of aiding others, however, nothing comes. It seems this ability only manifests when interacting with an afflicted individual.

◎ If you choose to enhance a Herald's influences, you may inadvertently absorb their abilities as yours and thus, in turn, spread them toward individuals who are nearby. This could occur deliberately or accidentally, depending on how much you desire to act as an extension of the Herald in your chosen territory.

◎ If you choose to ignore a Herald's influences, you'll receive no effects either way...but you might find it difficult to disregard what's going on around you.

For an OOC explanation of the mechanics regarding being a countering, enhancing, or neutral force, please review the Deciding Your Actions section on the OOC Plotting Post.

Patchwork Horizon

Luckily, the Horizon isn't intent on trapping any of you this time. Its instabilities instead manifest in your own domains. It might revert back to a previous state or older elements might resurface that you thought you got rid of. Or, it may take on transformations from a future version - the domain that you had as a God in the emergent reality. The more you've made yourself vulnerable, the more unstable your experience in the Horizon will become.

Further, these instabilities aren't limited to your domains. Effects from other domains might overwrite yours, or perhaps pieces of your domain are showing up in another's.

◎ For some, it might just be a minor inconvenience. Perhaps your flowers have transplanted onto somebody else's yard across the Horizon or your pet keeps teleporting around to everyone's domains except yours.

◎ For others, the effect might be more troubling. You could find private letters surfacing in a stranger's desk or you might open your closet to find another's buried skeletons.

Anything that ends up in someone else's domain will be missing in yours. Rather than a duplication, the effect is more like a jigsaw or a patchwork quilt. You can put it right, of course, with some concentration - but it's best done with a partner, especially someone who knows your domain well enough to help you reform it.

Setting a domain right will also repair any vulnerabilities its owner might've exposed themselves to, so it's a good idea to try and assist each other. Of course, if your concentration's off, attempts to fix a domain might actually make things worse, so be careful!

Arrival

The sections below will contain more specific prompts to help players jumpstart threads, but you may use the broad descriptions of each Herald's impact here to inspire your own ideas and scenarios.

The First Shadow

The arrival of the Heralds of War is subtle. For many citizens, they might not realize that there is a force exerted throughout the world. Indeed, how much of what happens can be attributed to the Heralds, and how much is simply human nature? That's a question even the Heralds can't and won't answer. They are only here to carry out the same task they have done since the dawn of time, each time a war brews.

Koth, the Kingdome of Thorne

Koth of Festering Lands brings with her death and rot. This affects vegetation, wildlife, livestock, the already dead...and the soul itself. She does not bring literal death to living people - she only brings it to the things around them and within them.

◎ Missing Warship
In Borrel, a naval warship on its way home to resupply goes missing. Led by an experienced captain and with no fighting taking place at sea (surely, even the Free Cities can't sail that quickly toward the western coast), the mysterious disappearance has many concerned. Unfortunately, some mages who attempt a common tracking spell report visions of bloated corpses sunk to the bottom while others dream of drowning, an effect so real they must be shaken awake. Many mages refuse to try the spell again, leaving it in your hands instead.

Each tracking spell can only vaguely locate an individual or a part of the ship, so multiple attempts are necessary. If you're not skilled in magic, you can take a more active role and board a rescue ship off the coast of Borrel. This ship will venture out based on the coordinates according to the spell...but take care: the sailors with you are prone to similar visions of drowning when they look into the blackened depths below. Others claim they see the faces of the dead in the ocean's surface. All of this leads to high tensions amongst the men and women on board.

It'll be possible to rescue a few sailors, but others may be lost entirely. The ship itself appears to have broken into pieces. Survivors report a grotesque undead leviathan that cannot be harmed or killed, though it's difficult to tell if this is true or another hallucination.

◎ Dukewood Lumber Mills
Previously a site of a dangerous rift, the lumber mill in the woods by Nott has since returned to normal. Unfortunately, that ends quickly when the trees begin to rot. Workers report a horrible smell that comes from the trees themselves, and that the normally clear sap has turned into a putrid black-blood substance.

To make matters worse, the rotting stores of food and now the dying trees are putting the workers and locals around Nott under great stress. Thoughts of despair are amplified by both the situation and Koth, leading to higher rates of drinking, which in turn has increased the amount of accidents at the mill, including mismanaged safety protocols and mishandled equipment.

Lumber is of great value during wartime, especially for the construction of naval ships, outposts, and weapons, so Castle Thorne is determined to help restore the trees, as well as calm the workers. You can help with everything from checking equipment to ensure they're safe, searching for any missing mill workers, providing first aid where necessary, or confronting beasts that might've been disturbed by all the commotion.

If you happen to fall under Koth's sway, you might also see the dead when looking into the waters as you rescue the other sailors. The bodies might reflect something you fear or they may be a reminder of a death that's already passed. You could also sink into despair or experience haunting dreams as you try to help another recover from their hopelessness.

Adlewyrd, the Free Cities

Adlewyrd of Poisoned Tongues brings with them words that poison the heart and mind. This affects thoughts and emotions, a slow and subtle influence that spreads.

◎ Untold Secrets
In Libertas, where underground networks thrive, sudden slips of the tongue, rising tempers, and impulsive actions have caused the black market to collapse into disarray. Between power struggles, accusations of betrayals, and missing transactions, the violence has spilled into the open.

Preoccupied with the battle, the number of guards and soldiers keeping order is reduced. Venturing into Libertas can be dangerous and those who live there, including artists and orphans, are struggling to go about their day-to-day without disruption. You can help calm tempers or break up fights...or maybe, if you're a bit more vulnerable to the influences yourself, you might become drawn into the chaos yourself.

Because of the limited number of hands, the Summoned are allowed to make an arrest, but you must bring the culprit to a guard outpost for formal processing. Taking matters into your own hands too severely can lead to scrutiny. Given the circumstances, however, a bit of non-fatal violence will be overlooked, especially if it takes place in the darker corners of Libertas.

You don't have to enforce the law, though. In Libertas, this enforcement is rather loose, anyway. Instead, you can mediate as a neutral party, take advantage to make a deal of your own, or simply offer your services to fill in any gaps that might've occurred in these networks. This could involve more illicit activities like transporting underground goods or something more above-board like searching for a missing person. Just be sure you don't draw too much attention if you're acting outside the law.

◎ The Red Path
Previously a site of a dangerous rift, the scenic Red Path leading between Cadens and Libertas has since been restored. Unfortunately, that ends quickly when conflicting reports cause an accident involving merchant wagons carrying silk, spices, and wine. Some claim the merchants are spies while others insist they were bandits in disguise.

Regardless, the accident leads to several fatalities and disturbs a monster nest: that of the dangerous Copper Spine Wyvern. It also draws swarms of hungry Kaskadura, the latter of which are lured by the corpses. While not normally aggressive towards the healthy and living, the Kaskadura seem to be in a frenzy and will bite just about anyone they see - and there's a lot of them, gathering over the area like a black cloud.

To make matters worse, a clerical error has slowed down the cleanup and identification process. If you're not inclined to fight monsters or locate missing bodies, you can help at Portam Hall to manually match names to surviving family members, as well as locate said family members to deliver the somber news. As for Portam Hall, the main hub of government activity might not be under threat from beasts, but isn't calm, either. Gossip, secrets, and missing paperwork plague the various departments and offices.

If you happen to fall under Adlewyrd's sway, you might read too deeply into an innocent comment or mishear a remark that raises your ire, leading you to snap wrongly at a friend or attack an innocent. You might also give into lurking temptations that surface as you try to help others overcome their dark desires.

Sannleikr, the Solvunn Commune

Sannleikr of Many Faces brings with him deception of the soul. This affects faces and minds, causing appearances to become distorted, untrustworthy, or altogether unrecognizable.

◎ Lost Herders
In the Secondary Settlement, a woman named Eydis has lost her prized herding dogs and her flock of sheep. They left one morning as usual to herd the sheep out to graze and never returned. She worries that rumors of livestock sprouting teeth are true and will harm her dogs. She isn't the only one, either. Several other sheep and goat herders have claimed their dogs and flocks have gone missing, too.

The dogs themselves have scattered across Solvunn. There are roughly a dozen dogs and several flocks that failed to return home. Should you run into any livestock, it would appear the rumors are indeed true: the normally fluffy sheep have grown wicked claws or horns while the goats bear their sharp fangs. Despite their fearsome appearance, however, they are not aggressive except when frightened. Keep them calm when herding them lest you provoke them to bite or claw.

As for the dogs, some might be wounded while others will growl at you. They don't recognize familiar toys or faces and will attempt to run away or behave apprehensively. You can use any abilities or techniques you have on hand to try and bring them home. After all, the Solvunn woods are dangerous, and there are many creatures within those dense trees that will strike.

◎ Living Statues
Previously a site of a dangerous rift, the Feintak Ritual Site, located just outside the Primary Settlement, has since returned to normal. Unfortunately, that ends quickly when confused citizens of the Commune begin to wander toward the area at night in search of their "missing" loved ones.

Unable to recognize familiar faces, some begin to see those faces imposed upon the statues at the site instead. You can find children playing with their "mother" or an elderly widow spending time with a "relative." While this would be disturbing enough on its own, the sacred area contains an ancient magic that, should any missteps occur, could be released into the world and spell disaster.

The Council has asked the Summoned to help bring home the lost folk of the Feintak site. They must be guided gently, as any negative energy could be absorbed by the dark power that lives in the earth and the statues. Victims of the affliction might become frightened of you or fail to recognize you even if you've been neighbors for months or years, making your task more difficult.

If you happen to fall under Sannleikr's sway, you might also begin to see faces in the statues at Feintak and forget the real figures around you. The faces might be friendly or they could be adversarial - an enemy or a source of shame. You may also see a twisted reflection of yourself in the mirror, representing something you've been trying to hide from.

The Final Coming

Zorne first spoke to you in your dreams, but his presence is noticeably absent for the first few days. Then, one week later, after one of the most fierce and bloody battles in the Badlands in recent history, a red sun rises over Abraxas. The morning's dawn is cast in a red glow across the territories.

If you met Zorne in your dream, you may recognize this very sun. You remember feeling its heat over your skin and the emotions it stirred in you, whichever they might've been.

By noon, the blood-red hue will fade...but Zorne's coming has only begun.

The Last Affliction

Unrestricted, Zorne's influence travels across the land and joins forces with his siblings.

◎ The Badlands

Forces from the Free Cities introduce a new prototype to the war: a semi-automonous suit of armor armed with a piece of technology derived from something that came through the rifts: a unique firearm that launches explosive discs imbued with New Magic.

The weapon's destructive capabilities wreck havoc on both people and the environment...inadvertently setting loose yet another creature of the rift - the swamp-like creature that researchers had been studying in the Badlands before the war broke out. Its giant mouth is lined with numerous teeth. Its breath can paralyze, blind, poison, and weaken anyone caught in it.

The morbol will move toward the borders of each territory throughout the event, so the Summoned in all locations can encounter it when arriving at the front lines to deliver medicine, supplies, or news. Zorne's influence appears to prevent it from dying. When killed, it respawns in another location - sometimes miles away.

◎ Forging the Soul

Zorne's influence can affect those who are already under the effect of one of the other three Heralds. A shopkeeper angry about a misspoken rumor might begin to have disturbing and violent dreams of confronting the offending gossiper. A soldier who sees his death at the hands of another may start to feel the urge to kill first before his turn comes.

Aggressive wildlife will begin to invade city borders. While most are stopped or killed before they enter a major city, one or two predators might slip through. Trade routes are disrupted. Nearly all caravans are halted except the most critical transports. Hunters and farmers begin to report disturbing sights of deer scavenging on corpses or butterflies biting as mosquitos do.

You, too, may experience similar dreams or desires if you've allowed yourself to become too vulnerable or exposed to the Heralds. The more you entertain such thoughts or let your guard down, the harder they become to ignore. As you move through your days, surrounded by turmoil and conflict, you may have to ask yourself if you're as above it all as you first thought.

And what about your friends? Your neighbors? After all, you might associate frequently with the other Summoned, but you've made connections with the native population, too. Perhaps the kindly innkeeper is now treating you with a suspicion she didn't used to exhibit. Maybe you hear that the baker across the street, who once offered you free sweet rolls, has been gravely injured by his own son.

As Zorne said, this is about forging peace through madness - or so the Heralds believe. Maybe, in the pandemonium and bloodshed around you, you begin to understand something important about yourself, your friends, or the world.

Beyond the Heralds

It's tough to deny that even without the Heralds, this conflict would be ongoing regardless. Neither Thorne nor the Free Cities has demonstrated any desire for peace. Solvunn seems to be considering their role, as well. Despite the war, life must continue for Abraxans: parents have mouths to feed, farmers have fields to sow, and professors continue to lecture and hold classes while they're able.

As the Summoned, you can engage in any of these elements. You can agree to take notes for a fellow student who's suffered an unfortunate attack after being mistaken for someone else. You could babysit for households who need an extra hand while their partner has been sent to fight. You can pack medicine, offer healing abilities, or bring supplies to units stationed by the Badlands.

You can also take on acts of diplomacy. This is not restricted to communicating with the leaders of your territory. Both Nocwich and the Nether have a relationship with the Summoned, which is something you can utilize. You might have to begin by sending a letter instead of meeting them directly, but if you're determined to find a peaceful solution, it's worth trying.

Individualized actions are entirely possible! We will discuss it on a case-by-case basis. You can SUBMIT YOUR REQUEST by replying to the comment with the form.

Please have a concrete goal in mind and try to keep your requests concise. We will do our best to accommodate everyone, but we may have to ask that you hold the request for after the event or ask you to revise it, depending on what you've submitted.

Departure

When the Heralds withdraw, it's quiet and as difficult to notice as their arrival. Did they vanish near the end of one of the battles? Did they leave days ago, the seeds they sowed flourishing without further intervention?

For the Summoned, it may be a bit easier to tell. Steadily, as the month comes to a close, the Horizon begins to stabilize once more. If you have been countering the Heralds, you find your ability no longer triggers, even if there remain those around you who behave as though they are still being influenced. You suppose it's fair to remember that the Heralds don't need to exert their powers for people to behave as they do.

The battle in the Badlands continues to wage...but on AUGUST 30, Thorne's troops receive abrupt orders to return home. It appears that, while the kingdom's forces were occupied on land, her naval warships were dealt a serious blow, handing a sudden victory to the Free Cities - but not by who you might predict.

The Hands of Solvunn

Solvunn has often refused to pledge for one side or another. The Council maintains that they are devoted to protecting their commune and their way of life, nothing more. They certainly have no army or weapons to speak of. Their disinterest in the Badlands conflict is expected, and neither Thorne nor the Free Cities consider it unusual that Solvunn has remained isolated.

What you might've wondered, however, is this: why have the Heralds visited Solvunn twice now when they spare genuinely neutral lands like Nocwich and the Nether?

A Guiding Light

After Thorne's retreat, news begins to travel. It moves through Solvunn and Thorne first, eventually reaching the Free Cities. Multiple stories surface about the sea in Borrel, not about the storm wall or Koth, but something else - a mysterious lighthouse and a thick fog that's obscured the waters for days.

Survivors of one destroyed warship, The Queen's Secret, return telling tale of a light that beckoned them during a heavy storm. But the lighthouse keepers in the western sea swear they saw no ships come their way. The ship itself seems to have crashed into a massive sea stack that should've been easily avoidable. What lighthouse could have drawn them near?

Over the next few days, this happens again and again. Sailors looking out from shore confirm that they can indeed see the flickering beam of a lighthouse. It stands proudly in a spot where no lighthouse was ever built.

Then, on the final day, the lighthouse moves.

Blessings Granted

Citizens gather seaside despite sailors and guards ashore attempting to send them home. They watch as a naval officer and his men are sent to investigate. As the lighthouse grows brighter, its hypnotic pulse begins to pull others forward. Fishermen and noblemen set sail on their own civilian ships. Sailors of the Royal Navy break rank and order, as if under a powerful compulsion, and set forth in Thorne's prized warships. One by one, ships big and small pull out of the harbor in the dead of night.

Witnesses report strange limbs emerging from the base of the lighthouse. The limbs do not strike or attack. Rather, they open up like a waiting embrace. They gently accept each vessel that sails towards the light. Then they enfold the ship and pull it down into the depths. To onlookers, it's a silent but horrifying affair. Each ship disappears until only bits of wreckage are washed ashore the following morning.

A surprising number survive by abandoning ship, though some captains choose to go down with their vessel. Having made a crippling dent in Thorne's Royal Navy, the lighthouse vanishes. Back on shore in the Tertiary Settlement, the storm wall finally vanishes.

The incident above will lead a few changes in Solvunn and to the borders of the Badlands. We'll detail those changes in the Wrap-Up!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Inside the files are his professional opinions; each diagnosis scrawled in spidery handwriting nearly impossible to read. Unlike the home, each file is the opposite of orderly, with his perspective written in mismatched places on every page. But he looks as orderly as the townhouse, patiently standing inside the doorway with hands clasped across his stomach.]

Well, I would call the police, but I think that's impossible.

[Because there's no police inside the Horizon, right? Nobody but them. Now isn't that unfortunate?]

[Chris pauses in mid read--not that he's able to read anything in that chicken scratch of a handwriting style. He almost tried to orb out, and then realized, well. That was stupid. And if he did that, it was pretty much the end of their therapy session. How'd you get kicked out of therapy Chris? Breaking and entering and trying to read personal medical files.]

Fancy that, huh? Good thing too, I think the police would probably be pretty happy to see me. Something about grand theft, assault and battery on a police officer. In my defense, only half of that was me.

[Real good explanation, considering he had just been caught breaking and entering into someone's private domain and reading their shit, right? Comforting. Doesn't Chris just seem every so trustworthy?]

Of course, and only half of this was you as well, I take it?

[Crane hardly needs glance around; he knows files are missing or out of place. He also knows people will break a confidence for personal gain.]

Would you like to review my other clients? I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

[And by review he means stalk.]

Yeah, I totally walked into that one.

[Chris sighed, putting the files he had tried to read down, since he obviously wasn't going to be able to read them now. At this point, he really wished he had his mom's power to freeze time. It would have come in useful right now, when he needed a moment to figure out what to say and how to get out of this mess. But, he didn't have Piper's powers.]

Read more indecipherable chicken scratches? I'll take you up on it when you learn how to use a computer or get better handwriting. Is it true? The worse the doctors handwriting, the better they are?

[Crane remains inside the doorway. Blocking the entrance, blocking the way outside. People can escape with a thought but he stands there for the image he presents. He will not be dismissed, he will not be ridiculed, he will not be intimidated.

And does he answer? No, he recognises the distraction, the diversion in topic for what it is.]

Well, that depends on whether you answer my question: did you learn all you wanted to know?

[Chis really had to learn to lie better. Or create better distractions. A well planned fire in a trashbin. An orchestrated demon attack. Somehow screaming 'look over there!' while fleeing from the Horizon and his therapist seemed rather pathetic. And of course, it was really, really easy to corner Chris. While his first instinct is to lie, distract, generally not answer, he also folds pretty easily.]

Not really. You're hand writing is horrible. You want to read it to me like a bedtime story?

[He gestured to the papers he had set down, and awkwardly closed the drawers that were still open from his rifling.]

Is this the part where you tell me it's rude to look at things that aren't mine?

[Crane has no response to the remark about his handwriting; no emotional tells to scrutinise and pick apart. His grandmother had disciplined him by observing him writing at his desk with many a cold turn of phrase. But he learned to regard it as free expression.

And she had taught him to let remarks wash off his back.]

I would tell you it's dangerous.

[Just as it is dangerous to provoke a patient man.]

And that you should be careful about misintrepreting data lest it make you feel inadequate.

[Unfortunately for both Chris and Crane, provoking people is a time honored and well honed Halliwell defense mechanism. At the moment though, Chris couldn't see hear the alarm that should have been going off in his head with regards to Crane's behavior. A combination of the Halliwell blind spot and just being used to being abused and manipulated. He expected people to say horrible things about him, and when they did, he was just proven right.

Still the dig got to him. He let his shoulders slump a little, the phrase jabbing at him into the open wound.] I am inadequate.

[Fingers itch to reassemble his files, dividing them by age and diagnosis, back into piles that occupy their rightful place. But he controls his urge, marshals his patience, and speaks with a calm voice. One used on his patients or when he has lost patience.]

"Of course you are!" That is what your mind is saying to you. And it is convincing enough to fool your body.

[Don't think he hasn't noticed those slumped shoulders.]

[If Chris had noticed Crane's urge to reassemble his files, he didn't say anything. Which just goes to show he probably hadn't noticed. He wouldn't have been able to contain the remark, the jab, to shove the rebuke right back at him. Instead, Chris is just irritated. He's angry and frustrated about everything he can't control and just how right Crane was. He wasn't Charmed, he wasn't all powerful and twice blessed like Wyatt. He literally had nothing going for him, and to top it all off, he'd been murdered like he was an inconvenience. A speed bump.

But Chris knew enough not to take his anger out on other people. So he did the next best thing. He flung the files and papers within reach off the desk in a fit of rage with a frustrated scream.]

Is this the way you start all your therapy sessions? or just the ones you catch breaking and entering?

Edited 2024-08-19 00:31 (UTC)

[Flying papers and folders are ignored for now.]

This is how I treat people who continue making excuses.

[His admonishment is quick, cutting into the ego, coming before the other has finished. It combines uncannily with his calm demeanour, his perfect control aimed at picking someone apart.]

I could pander to your ego but that would offend your intelligence and insult mine.

Edited 2024-08-19 01:19 (UTC)

What do you want me to say?

[It was starting to get to Chris just how calm and creepy Crane's demeanor was. He was used to the rampant emotion of the Halliwell manor. People responded when you reacted. This? This was so weird, oddly foreign, and super caustic.]

That all my life I've been overlooked? My aunt once suggested that my only purpose in life was to warn them about the future. That I might not even need to exist beyond that. And now? I'm dead. And stuck here. Where nothing matters.

[Crane meanders around the bed, kneeling to gather scattered papers, sorting them by page. Let the anger fade, reward positive change. If that fails to arrive, train them under harsher conditions.]

I don't want you to say anything. I want you to realise that your behaviour is the output of a sequence that has resulted in you centering your identity around other people. Families are a fundamental influence but they are no exception to the rule.

Edited 2024-08-19 14:17 (UTC)

[Chris just utterly stopped, floored by the words that had been spoken by the other man who he had thought couldn't actually have gotten a good read on him in the short time they've known each other. And yet? He must be a damn good psychologist. Or Chris was a really, really easy read. The answer? Both. So Chris just stopped and stared at Crane rather stupidly for a few moments, his own frustration and anger also dissipating.]

Well, shit.

Take a seat. Think it over.

[Files are organised, placed into piles while he kneels on one knee, silent before rising to his feet. His calm and thoughtful manner is inscrutible, disturbed only by the sound of those files being dropped on the bed. It hurts to contain himself; he hardly sees why he should be clearing away this mess.]

And stop taking yourself so seriously.

[But taking himself seriously was one of his most prominent traits. Chris literally didn't know how to have fun. Still, he found himself sitting as commanded, his own anger and irritation still dissipated into shock and horror that he didn't have a sense of self aside from what he had been molded into. That he didn't have an identity outside of his family and those around him.]

You're a pretty good therapist, you know that? Let me help you with that. It's my fault anyway.

[Chris gestured to the papers, as he now felt mildly guilty about throwing a tantrum.]

I've been 'on' for so long I'm not even sure what not taking myself so seriously means. Which is probably what you're getting at.

Edited (slight addition.) 2024-08-25 03:17 (UTC)

[Crane shakes his head, unoffended but unwilling to share responsibility. His mind recalls having a sense of identity, a family that he had been born into. Relations whose reputation haunted him during school and university, where others made friends and became known for their relationships with others.

It had felt strange to be an observer on the outside. But loneliness was what others expected him to feel. But he could not admit he once felt lonely.

Curious, maybe.

He continues rearranging the papers, transferring them to the dresser.]

Well, sometimes we need a second opinion, another mind to make sense of things. In your case, perhaps it begins with asking what do you do to relax?

[What did he do to relax? That was an excellent question, and kind of hit it right on the head didn't it? Thanks for hammering that one home too, Crane. At least now he's been sucker punched so he's used to the onslaught.]

I don't. I honestly can't remember the last time I did. I've had so much on my plate that I can't afford too. Before I guess. Now? I don't know.

[Chris eyed the papers Crane was still sorting, the same papers that he threw in a huff, and winced. Throwing things, that was mature.]

Let me guess. This is the part where you suggest I figure out something to do to relax?

Well, since you already know what advice I will offer, why ask?

[The question is leading and without judgement; though he is questioning why he tolerates this exchange. Intellectual curiosity? Boredom?

His soft voice pauses for a thought.]

I think you should pursue what brings you happiness.

[The entire exchange caused Chris to let out deep, frustrated sigh from where he had perched himself. It was a fair question, and it deserved an equally fair answer. The problem was that he had no idea how to answer it. Which was probably exactly what this guy was getting at.

The answer he first came up with was that he didn't know what happiness was. But, that wasn't quite right was it? He had a glimpse, an inkling of what it could be, before life utterly tore it down and any hope of happiness had left him in shambles.]

I guess that's a harder concept than I thought it would be.

[His own voice was likewise soft, possessing a vulnerability and openness to it. Finally, he voiced it.]

What if you don't know what happiness is? If you don't deserve it?

[Crane pays attention to everything in the room. Papers, folders and books that look out of order. The disorganised and unorderly state of his patient is deliberately ignored. He pays no attention, offers no approval or condemnation. He deprives the man of a response and only addresses the matter with words.]

Happiness is an emotional state. Meaning the question of whether you deserve it is irrelevent. You are happy or you are not. So stop complaining about something pointless and start persevering.

[Stop being a pussy,

- Dr. Jonathan Crane.]

Edited 2024-09-03 03:53 (UTC)

[Chris was pretty sure that was the nice, academic version of what his family would have told him. He let out a tense, irritated sigh.]

Alright. I guess I'll. Go find happiness. Let you know when I succeed.

[Was it really as simple as that? Chris shrugged, trying to not let himself wallow in self pity.]

Thanks for listening, I guess?

[That would sound like gratitude to most. But to his mind it sounds like an excuse. He shows no outward sign of disapproval and continues organising his notes. The sooner he finishes, the sooner he can work.]

Well, what else can I say? You obviously need help.

[Present tense. Because it's too amusing not to say something.]

[And Crane would be right. It kind of was an excuse. And because Chris was feeling rather snarky, he snarked back in retaliation. Because wasn't that what therapists were for? Taking your anger out on. No Chris, that was called a punching back. Maybe learn the difference.]

Yeah, I thought that was your job. The helping then. So uh. Way to go.

Of course.

[I'm happy to help goes unsaid. He cannot be bothered feigning it as truth. People in his life had also come to appreciate honesty over pretense. But this young man hardly measures up against them, does he?]

But I trust you don't need my help to find the door.

[That's the only hint said young man is getting that he should leave.]

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inferiority_complex - 2024-09-15 20:00 (UTC) - Expand

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