Who: Nebula + You When: September Where: Solvunn, Horizon, Nocwich What: September Catchall Warnings: Nebula always carries the potential of carrying some mentions of child neglect/abuse, war, and genocide. But at the moment N/A
And I think you just answered your own question. [You don't scare him Nebula. Okay, maybe a little bit. But he also knew he couldn't just ignore it. Just not say anything. Magic happened for a reason right? Besides, for now they were kind of stuck together.] I think you want to live like this. You said it yourself. Atonement. You don't punish yourself for things you don't think you're guilty of.
[Chris eyed her, watching her sort through her own emotions as he tried to sort out his--and what he could feel of hers. Being a Whitelighter was kind of a pain in the ass, but not as much pain as what she was going through. And she was stuck with the one angel who couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Ignore it? He could do that. He could just put her on mute. But that didn't actually solve the problem.]
Also your dad? Sounds like a giant jackass. Who does shit like that?
[His tone softens a bit, looking at her.] and it sucks you have to live with the consequences of his actions.
[ Nebula knows she's guilty of heinous things. Sure, many of her actions could be attributed to her father and his abuse. But not the execution of it. Not the fact she carried them out versus doing something about it - versus what? Death? Hadn't she awaited for it by the hand of Gamora? She'd known she was a tool until death, nothing more and nothing less. And some part of her had longed for that peace. ]
[ It was just never outweighed with the violent need to survive. A thing that's not been stamped out of her, even if her beliefs are no longer the same. Even if now she is firmly on the side of good she wasn't always - And here this man. This kid, she aggressively decides, acts as if he knows more than he does. ]
[ Why? Because he's seen but a speck of the immeasurable pain she lives in? ]
[ She's been nice for so long. She's kept her head low, she's tried (in her own way) to be agreeable and something in the way he speaks - in the way his tone softens to something that feels pitiable even if it isn't swells in her. She does not tense, but she does lunge. She does shove an arm -blessedly the more organic one than pure metal - into his chest as she shoves him into a tree. The sound that leaves her mouth is a guttural, feral growl as she stares into him. Once black orbs, glinting instead in the light of the fire all the brunt of anger and self-hated she's held back. ]
Don't. Pretend. You know a damned thing about me.
[ A different Nebula would go for the knife at her waist - always ready - she doesn't even if her gaze remains hard. Even if she keeps the arm and pressure against him: ]
I didn't choose to be this. [ She didn't. Nebula would never be able to admit it to herself, but her nature would have been far different - Once, she'd been a different person entirely. ] I did choose to do some of the things I've done. If you want, I'll show you.
[ It's low and dangerous - the hint of the assassin who'd once been known as the biggest sadist in the universe. To her own ears, the threat is only half of what it once was. She's angry, but she's not that person anymore. ]
This body is mine. As is it's unending pain. I deserve it and I will make it my own. I don't need your opinions.
[Chris is caught completely off guard as she lunges and shoves him into the freaking tree. Even if he wasn't? Well, he was an absolutely terrible fighter, thanks in part to his whitelighter heritage. So he hangs there as she holds him against the tree, ranting. Unfortunately for Nebula, Chris had spent his entire life being threatened, used and abused by his sociopath of a brother, and then proposed to an assassin witch and made alliances with demons. So? He wasn't scared of you. Which was probably a deeply unhealthy reaction.
Still, he waited until she was done ranting at him, and then orbed out, rematerializing a few feet behind her.]
Wow, I think I hit a nerve there. Got it. You're really big and bad and desperate to prove it. Here's the thing. It only works on people who are scared of you. You want to be in pain? Sure, have it your way. Enjoy punishing yourself.
[ He disappears in that whirl of blinding lights and she's caught off guard - Just for a moment. She's quick to whirl around at the sound of him behind her the dagger quickly drawn with narrowed eyes. ]
[ Her mouth a tense line. ]
If I wanted you dead you would be.
[ She cuts in immediately, voice harsh. The metallic tone of it rings in her ears - as it so often does in moments where her voice isn't measured. He's lucky. A different Nebula wouldn't even offer that - he'd be dead. Neck snapped before he got another word out. ]
[ Here's the secondary thing: Nebula's lived in pain for over twenty years. The idea she couldn't isn't even a thought. It's never been one, because this is her existence - Punishment for being weak. For what she's done. Sure, she can call it fanciful words. But the truth is it's a part of this body and that means she has no escape - has never thought there was ever a chance. ]
You talk a lot about something you have no damned idea what you are talking about.
[ She snatches up the spear with one hand and turns away. ]
Show up in my face again and I'll gut you like a fish.
Why don't we try this again later? You're not really in a fabulous mood. So why don't you enjoy your lizard and maybe next time we meet you'll have learned the meaning of friendship. I'll give you a hint, it doesn't involve gutting people like fish.
[Chris was backing away as he spoke because, she was really good with weapons and he....wasn't. He was good with running his mouth though. Funny how that went hand in hand. Hopefully he'd stop in time not to have to use his explosive potion on his charge. That was....really, really against the rules right?]
Here's the thing. When you're ready to have a conversation like a civilized person and not threaten them with deadly weapons, let me know.
[And then Chris orbed out in a rush of sparkling white and blue lights. Bye Nebula.]
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no subject
[Chris eyed her, watching her sort through her own emotions as he tried to sort out his--and what he could feel of hers. Being a Whitelighter was kind of a pain in the ass, but not as much pain as what she was going through. And she was stuck with the one angel who couldn't do a damn thing about it.
Ignore it? He could do that. He could just put her on mute. But that didn't actually solve the problem.]
Also your dad? Sounds like a giant jackass. Who does shit like that?
[His tone softens a bit, looking at her.] and it sucks you have to live with the consequences of his actions.
no subject
[ It was just never outweighed with the violent need to survive. A thing that's not been stamped out of her, even if her beliefs are no longer the same. Even if now she is firmly on the side of good she wasn't always - And here this man. This kid, she aggressively decides, acts as if he knows more than he does. ]
[ Why? Because he's seen but a speck of the immeasurable pain she lives in? ]
[ She's been nice for so long. She's kept her head low, she's tried (in her own way) to be agreeable and something in the way he speaks - in the way his tone softens to something that feels pitiable even if it isn't swells in her. She does not tense, but she does lunge. She does shove an arm -blessedly the more organic one than pure metal - into his chest as she shoves him into a tree. The sound that leaves her mouth is a guttural, feral growl as she stares into him. Once black orbs, glinting instead in the light of the fire all the brunt of anger and self-hated she's held back. ]
Don't. Pretend. You know a damned thing about me.
[ A different Nebula would go for the knife at her waist - always ready - she doesn't even if her gaze remains hard. Even if she keeps the arm and pressure against him: ]
I didn't choose to be this. [ She didn't. Nebula would never be able to admit it to herself, but her nature would have been far different - Once, she'd been a different person entirely. ] I did choose to do some of the things I've done. If you want, I'll show you.
[ It's low and dangerous - the hint of the assassin who'd once been known as the biggest sadist in the universe. To her own ears, the threat is only half of what it once was. She's angry, but she's not that person anymore. ]
This body is mine. As is it's unending pain. I deserve it and I will make it my own. I don't need your opinions.
no subject
Still, he waited until she was done ranting at him, and then orbed out, rematerializing a few feet behind her.]
Wow, I think I hit a nerve there. Got it. You're really big and bad and desperate to prove it. Here's the thing. It only works on people who are scared of you. You want to be in pain? Sure, have it your way. Enjoy punishing yourself.
no subject
[ Her mouth a tense line. ]
If I wanted you dead you would be.
[ She cuts in immediately, voice harsh. The metallic tone of it rings in her ears - as it so often does in moments where her voice isn't measured. He's lucky. A different Nebula wouldn't even offer that - he'd be dead. Neck snapped before he got another word out. ]
[ Here's the secondary thing: Nebula's lived in pain for over twenty years. The idea she couldn't isn't even a thought. It's never been one, because this is her existence - Punishment for being weak. For what she's done. Sure, she can call it fanciful words. But the truth is it's a part of this body and that means she has no escape - has never thought there was ever a chance. ]
You talk a lot about something you have no damned idea what you are talking about.
[ She snatches up the spear with one hand and turns away. ]
Show up in my face again and I'll gut you like a fish.
no subject
[Chris was backing away as he spoke because, she was really good with weapons and he....wasn't. He was good with running his mouth though. Funny how that went hand in hand. Hopefully he'd stop in time not to have to use his explosive potion on his charge. That was....really, really against the rules right?]
Here's the thing. When you're ready to have a conversation like a civilized person and not threaten them with deadly weapons, let me know.
[And then Chris orbed out in a rush of sparkling white and blue lights. Bye Nebula.]