it's not your act of creation

[beautifullies]

Who: Claire and closed starters + opens
When: September + October
Where: her house in Solvunn, the Horizon, will add more locations as needed
What: An open where Clarie discovers she can control bees (up to 30 ft), an option to bake bread or garden with her, eventual questing, a handful of closed starters and more!
Warnings: Will update as needed
Notes: Please feel free to match the brackets or switch to prose, tag with your heart. Assume wildcarding is on the table, just message me first or hmu on plurk @ babybananas w/any ideas!




look how cute, how adorable, how perfect

Comments

[beautifullies]

[ That's fascinating to Claire, both the burning alive and taste portion. She wonders if there's a way to replicate it - not the burning, but the taste manipulation. With the help of magic...that's a thought she shelves for another day. ]

I've been through so many wars at this point, and if I ever leave here, there's at least one more to go. You'd think by now I could be a bloody political strategist.

[ She tried her hand at espionage and sabotage. Failed, lost a daughter for it. She's sticking to her lane from now on, healing and comforting only. ]

All that I know to do is be as prepared as possible, and keep living life. I think that's all anyone can do, darling.

[ She takes a sip of tea, knowing that's not the most comforting thought, that they're helpless to the whims of the people who've decided they're in power. ]

[sophos]

I am a strategist. [ it's out before she really thinks about it, though it's probably not a particularly startling statement from annabeth. ]

[ she frowns and eats another bite of cake. it seems a bit at odds with where her mind is at, but it's really tasty. ]

I was in the middle of a war too, before I woke up here. [ she doesn't know the exact state of it, isn't even sure how much of it she missed in tartarus. tartarus itself feels like a whole other war. ]

And I'm always prepared, or at least I try to be. I know war and strategy as much as I know what happens in the lull in between. It's just... part of me.

[ she pauses. ] My mother - I've never told you who she was, have I? [ it seems strange, given she hasn't felt the need to be secretive about it anymore, and perhaps it's not very surprising to anyone who comes to know anything about annabeth as a person. ] I'm a child of Athena. War is literally in my blood.

[beautifullies]

[ Claire's eyes widen, eyebrows climbing up her forehead. It had to be one of the gods though, so she isn't stunned into silence. Still, Athena. ]

No, you hadn't told me, but now I've been preaching to the choir, haven't I?

[ She chuckles softly, taking a bite of cake. But it does make sense for as adept as she knows Annabeth is, the pieces of the puzzle are starting to come together. A few are still scattered about, but the picture is becoming clearer. ]

This is going to sound childish, and I don't mean for it to, but it isn't fair to be pulled from life and one war, into another and someone else's war completely. We have no stake in this other than saving ourselves because we were forced here.

[ Not that she dislikes being in Abraxas, she's quite fond of it, actually. But that isn't the point. ]

[sophos]

[ there are many, many expectations that come with being a child of athena, and for most of her life, annabeth felt she thrived under them. but on the other side of tartarus, she isn't so sure. athena has the legacy and reputation she does for a reason. ]

[ she lets out a puff of a laugh. ] It's fine. It's just weird to be open about it here, but it's not like I want to run around announcing it every conversation either.

[ she takes another bite of her own cake, chewing it and savoring the taste, trying to pretend it's not just a horizon treat. ]

Then I'm childish too. Because it's tiring. Parts of being have been... nice. Like a respite, in those lulls. [ she shoves another bite of cake into her mouth, a little more aggressively than the one prior. she considers for a moment if she wants to keep talking and finds that she does. ] I've been thinking a lot about war lately. And my mother. And this place.

[beautifullies]

[ Claire has found that she absolutely loves eating in the horizon. All the food and none of the consequences of over-indulging? She'll take it. She eats all the damn time when she's here and tries not to think about what it means long-term to eat magic. ]

Respites are nice. [ She hums her agreement, then looks at Annabeth with small but genuinely warm smile. ] But they aren't enough. Not by half.

[ She knows she isn't Annabeth's mother, nor is she her guardian, but there's a protectiveness she feels toward her, and the instinct to listen. She attempts a little joke, but she's serious. ]

I'm but a mere mortal, but I'm happy to be an ear for you, and if you need it, I'm happy to try and give advice.

[ Sometimes that isn't what's needed. Feelings are sometimes just that, and don't need to be solved. Either way though, Claire is here for Annabeth, smiling around a bite of cake. ]

[sophos]

No. I'm still waiting for something more permanent. [ in terms of peace, at least. she feels like she's been building permanence in other ways. ]

[ how long had she so thoroughly tried to reject her mortal half, on the basis of her mortal family so solidly rejecting her first? and here she is now, wanting to run away from the godly half. annabeth looks at claire almost studiously for a few moments as she eats another bite of cake, then drops her gaze to the food instead so she doesn't have to keep eye contact. ]

Maybe it's the mortal part that's more appealing. [ she shoves another piece in her mouth, continuing to somewhat grumpily eat her way through her feelings. ]

My mother is a war god. So are... the Heralds. [ she squeezes the fork. ] I'm part war god. I don't... want to be like that. Like the Heralds.

[beautifullies]

[ Claire is too, and at least she knows now that she'll have it, at some point. Lord John's promised her there's happiness, and Claire choose to believe that there's a version of her living a life, finally the way she'd wanted.

Instead of saying any of that she listens, making a soft sound in the back of her throat. Both hands are wrapped around her mug, and she thinks about Annabeth's words. ]

You're also part of something more than your mother or the Heralds. You're made up of...billions of atoms that were all something else once. You can make yourself whatever you choose to be, because a part of you has been that before. That has nothing to do with your parentage.

[ Claire hasn't been staring at Annabeth, instead looking somewhere out of the window behind her, but she does glance at her now, offering a warm smile should she chance raising her gaze. ]

[sophos]

[ annabeth is getting there. something permanent doesn't feel as out of reach as it used to. the idea of it is such a huge part of what helped her through tartarus; she can't give up on it now. ]

[ she knew, obviously, that admitting to claire some of the things on her mind would elicit some sort of response. perhaps she'd wanted one like this all along but didn't really know how to ask for it. ]

[ she isn't looking at claire as the woman speaks, but as she goes on, annabeth can feel a smile threatening to slip onto her face until it finally catches the corner of her mouth. she doesn't want to be her mother, for all the pieces she might still admire, and she certainly doesn't want to be her father, but most of all she doesn't want to be made of war. and she's been through so much of it already. she looks up at claire to meet her gaze and feels lighter, smiling back. ]

Yeah. You're right. I can and I will choose for myself.

[ she always tries to anyway. sometimes, maybe, she does just get a little too bogged down by war. ]

It's just hard not to worry sometimes, I guess, when there's been so much war. I really can't wait to leave it all behind one day.

[beautifullies]

I hope you're able to do that some day, I really do. You deserve not to have that burden. You're so young, it's important that you get to explore who you are and who you want to be, without war hanging over you.

[ Claire pauses; she hates this war, the uncertainty of it. She doesn't know who it will wind up impacting the worst, if there will be a dire need for medical attention, if she'll lose anyone she loves. ]

That said, it's difficult not to worry. I think I worry every day. The key is not to let the worry stop you.

[sophos]

[ annabeth sometimes does not feel as young as she is, but she wonders if that's just part of being a demigod, given she feels like she struggles more with the mortal part of her life when it comes to normalcy. she knows what's normal for the god side. ]

Sometimes I don't think war is ever really going to stop, but it would be nice if it didn't have to involve me all the time. That'd help with some of the worries.

[ and percy, and everyone she cares about, but the last few years especially have felt like one thing after another, probably from the labyrinth onward. ]

My parentage is a huge part of me. I can't really stop being a demigod, and I don't really want to give it up either, but...

[ she pauses. ] I want to be an architect. That's something that's all mine.