abraxaslogs | [open]

[ Even before their vision at the crater, Kyle might have been the one best suited to understanding these dreams about home that aren't dreams, even though he has never experienced one himself - and likely never will, he's come to accept.

Viktor had told him of a future, only days away from where he had left his world, where a version of himself had seemed to give up on the cure for his disease. It wouldn't make sense - Viktor was someone who didn't accept the impossible, who had succeeded in creating his miracle here. Kyle had admired him for that when they first met. He understood Viktor was capable of beautiful and terrible things, but that he was gentle, and believed he only ever wanted to help people. Kyle has already seen had badly it affected him to have his work stolen and used for violence in this world, the responsibility he put on himself. He would have protected him from that, if he could.

It was impossible, though - just like it's impossible now. Worse, that this time the circumstances sound more direct. All he can do is shift so that he's in front of him, standing in the space between his legs where he sits on the stool and wrapping his arms around him. ]

I'm sorry. [ That's only one possible future, he wants to say. You are here now. But he knows something has shifted irrecoverably for Viktor. ]

I think I always knew. What would bring me to that point.

[Harm to another person has always been non-negotiable. To kill someone, unimaginable. Kyle has always called the Hexcore a miracle, but they both know the inherent dangers of that kind of magic. It seems what always awaited him back home was not the success he enjoyed here, where he was able to save his own life, and it was foolish to think that the potential future as Jayce described it was some other version of him.

There is more to say, but Viktor allows himself this moment to mourn, curling into Kyle's embrace. It feels like it's been so long--even though no time at all has passed.]

I couldn't destroy the Hexcore. Not even after my efforts failed. I asked Jayce to do it.

[ All power has a cost. He had wanted to hope that Viktor's explanation of his world and the arcane could be different, but whatever mistake Viktor makes in his future exacts that toll despite his best efforts.

He lets Viktor hold onto him for as long as he needs, not wanting to interrupt with questions even if he has them - what was different? Viktor's plan was always to avoid returning to a future where he failed. And after a time, Kyle had accepted that he would help him.

There are some things he doesn't want to wrestle with either, though it's inevitable as Viktor continues. Viktor wouldn't use the Hexcore once it took a life. He doesn't say anything immediately, needing to just hold him like this, almost afraid to ask: ]

Did he?

[ Destroy it?

Knowing what he does, if he were in Jayce's position, he doesn't think that he could. This is different than the hypotheticals they discussed when they first met, of what they would or wouldn't risk to reach that person who mattered most. If the Hexcore was Viktor's last hope to survive, Kyle isn't sure it would matter to him if it killed a room full of people. ]

[He's sure there are questions--he wishes he had better answers. It's strange, to be recounting these events without having actually lived them, especially when the contents of his dream would have been months in the real world.

Kyle already knows the answer to this question. Viktor shakes his head.]

No.

[Of course he didn't. Viktor had been angry at the time, awakening to his own changed body and blueprints for more Hextech weapons on the worktable, but he's not sure he can blame Jayce for what he did, especially knowing what he does now about his true feelings. Strange, to reconcile the knowledge gained here with the events of back home--he wonders how he might have done things differently, if he'd been allowed to keep that knowledge.

The council bombing seems unimportant, in the scheme of things, but he tells Kyle about it anyway, and the broad strokes of the political situation that lead there. How the only reason why Viktor was in the room at all was to make a bid for the Undercity's independence--his last chance at a legacy.

And then, the moment that changed everything--]

He saved my life.

Edited 2025-02-02 03:02 (UTC)

[ There's a moment of relief when Viktor confirms that his partner wouldn't destroy the cure - that there was still some hope. And while he understands the importance of Zaun's independence to Viktor, his thoughts can only circle what comes immediately after, the building dread that this story has an abrupt end (as though the color drained from his eyes must already be a sign).

So there's relief again when it doesn't. Some tension recedes from his muscles, and he realizes he's been gripping a fistful of Viktor's shirt at his shoulder as he's been talking. He lets the cloth unwind from his fingers and releases the breath he'd been holding. ]

Then - it worked.

[ The Hexcore. Just like it did here. That means they can be relatively certain that if Viktor were to lose his connection to his world, he wouldn't be returned to a death sentence. Kyle would thank Jayce if it were possible. Right now, he leans in to first place his lips on Viktor's forehead, his cheek, then to kiss him. ]

[Kyle is relieved, his fingers relaxing where they grip his shirt. Viktor covers that hand with his own, trying to be comforting. Of course Kyle sees only the good in this, that Viktor lives. He's not unlike Jayce in that way, in what matters the most to him. Viktor still struggles with that--why he should be so special.]

It worked.

[Though, not exactly in the way he expected, or even wanted at the time. Viktor reminds himself that if the Hexcore had not taken and a life and if Jayce had not made the choice for him, he had every intention of completing the process himself.

Viktor allows himself the indulgence of the kiss, reciprocating gently until it reaches a natural conclusion and they part.]

I should show you something, in the Horizon.

[ Kyle has never been on a rollercoaster, but he imagines that it must to similar to listening Viktor recount his story. From hearing about one death sentence to a much more sudden, catastrophic one, right now he's having difficulty separating and focusing the details or questions beyond hearing that Viktor survives.

Viktor reciprocates his impulsive kiss, and it's only as they part that he wonders if he shouldn't have taken it. At the suggestion that they go to Horizon to see something, he seems slightly confused: ]

Now?

[ He senses that another shoe is meant to drop here - everything comes with a price, but he feels better prepared for it now, still riding on his relief. ]

[He nods--Viktor sees no reason to delay it.]

I think some things will be easier to explain if I show you.

[And, it will allow him to breach the subject of how similar it seems to the imagined future. That's the part he imagines Kyle won't take well, which is why Viktor needs to show him as soon as possible. He reaches out to take both of Kyle's hands in his.]

[ Kyle hesitates - mostly because going into Horizon while in a wide open room makes him itchy. But he nods in return, offering his hands to Viktor. ]

Alright.

[ He'll close his eyes, figuring they'll meet in Viktor's domain this time. ]

Edited (htmllll) 2025-02-03 04:21 (UTC)

[Viktor focuses on the feeling of Kyle's hands in his until the moment he slips into the Horizon. Then, he works to remember the details of the dream. What it felt like. The moments after stumbling out of the stasis he was held in. When he arrives in his domain, he draws on the memories and when he looks down, sees his changed body. It feels less foreign, than it might have, even as he reconciles all of his experiences in Abraxas with what feel like implanted memories.

Kyle certainly understands that much.

He'll bring them to the laboratory, foregoing any kind of clothing or covering--he has nothing to hide, and Kyle needs to see the extent of his merger with the Hexcore. How similar it is to what was imposed on them by the gods of this place. He recreates, too, the strange cocoon, the remnants of the worktable suspended from the ceiling of the lab.

Viktor simply presents himself, though it's not without the slightest glimmer of shame in his expression--like he's frightened of what Kyle might think.]

This is...what happened.

[Yes, Jayce saved his life, but it came at a cost.]

Edited 2025-02-03 16:47 (UTC)

[ It takes him a moment or two longer than usual to reach the mental state required to slip into Horizon, instinctively following Viktor into the laboratory area. The large centerpiece, the ominous negative space in the shape of a man, draws his gaze first, reminding him of the discarded cocoons he would find attached to tree trunks.

He would step toward it if not Viktor's presence immediately taking his attention.

The transformation is extreme enough that there's a flicker of shock across his features before he can mask it, his anxieties about the time, how quickly they seem to be hurtling toward a certain future bubbling up again at the sight of Viktor's new, almost familiar body. He picks up the differences quickly enough though, how uniform this body is compared to the more piecemeal way Viktor constructed his own over time in that vision. Barring a major accident, Viktor had done it all to himself in that life - a difference that, while Kyle couldn't agree with all of his choices, at least could understand why he made them.

This is different. Not the horrific way the issusha'im are made (he hopes, at least, if there was pain then it was swift) - and he still can't blame Jayce for choosing to save Viktor no matter the cost, but -

He catches that glimmer of shame in his expression, feels it twist in his side like a knife, using the jolt to try to do more than just stand here. He remembers, keenly, his own moments of shame here, when Viktor had kissed the corners of his mouth - he has only ever wanted to give in return that feeling of being wanted, and loved, without any pain. It has him stepping closer to him, gently cupping his face, thumbs brushing over where the strange metal begins to merge with his skin, still warm. It gives him a better look at his eyes now too, what he thought was a washed out and deathly pale is actually many, many colors at once, shifting and changing as he studies them.

He ignores for now the other obvious physical changes, concern bleeds across his features, a notch at his brow as he asks quietly: ]

Does it hurt?

[ This new body. ]

Edited 2025-02-03 20:36 (UTC)

[It's not exactly the same, but from what Viktor remembers of the imagined future, his augmentations had occurred over the course of centuries. Maybe this is what it would look like, had he done it all at once. Viktor watches Kyle's face carefully, taking in the surprise and the changes of expression, searching for disappointment or revulsion. He wouldn't blame him, really. This is all just a bit too close to their supposed destiny, too much that Viktor now knows it can't be a coincidence.

He stands there, arms at his side, while Kyle takes him in. Viktor knows, inherently, that he has some semblance of his powers--that he could reach out and take away the guesswork, when it comes to what's going through Kyle's head. But that feels intrusive, so Viktor concentrates on the shrinking distance between them, and Kyle's hands on the sides of his face, instead.]

No. [Kyle will notice that Viktor is simply standing without assistance--not necessarily unusual in the Horizon, but his posture is more straight and ] The opposite, actually.

[ There's no revulsion in his expression - to see Viktor almost entirely changed, not just his arm, is obviously a shock, but some of that is lessened by the fact that he'll leave this body behind when they leave Horizon. It makes it easier for him to think that this is only another possible future, willfully ignoring for the moment how this is now two separate visions of a similar transformation.

Kyle continues to stroke his face with one hand, letting the other one slide down his chest, tracing over the circular shapes from his brace now merged with his body, trailing as far down as the imprint of his belly button. He's warm, but beneath his touch he feels something else, a stronger current of magic than what he would feel with Viktor's arm. It makes him think of the yellow marbled stone of the Great Gates, and he swallows back a shiver at that. ]

This was the Hexcore. [ Not a question, just confirming what is obvious. There's a slight pause, his gaze flicking up to Viktor's face, betraying some fear now: ] Do you feel less?

[ Not physically. He had just started to worry less about that part of the future. ]

Edited (WAIT ) 2025-02-04 22:24 (UTC)

[Viktor already feels like he's had plenty of time to become accustomed to this body, even if the memories are only implanted. This--what they're doing now--is for Kyle, and Viktor will let him touch and explore all he likes.

The touch is pleasant, at least, this body still capable of feeling. There's magic that hums within him, something he's going to have to answer for--but for now he simply lets Kyle adjust.]

This-- [He says, gesturing to himself,] --is the Hexcore.

[Kyle might note that the Hexcore as he remembers it is gone from the laboratory. That much is on purpose. He reaches for Kyle's hand, wanting to be reassuring, somehow.]

I can feel.

[ His gaze tracks Viktor's hand as he gestures to himself and back up to his face, openly taken aback. ]

You're - [ he fumbles for the right word for a second, not liking the way any his mouth forms around any of them ] - joined?

[ Viktor takes his hand and he doesn't pull away, but there's a flicker of embarrassment that he should be the one needing any reassuring right now. One hand remains placed at his chest, uncertain but needing to understand. ]

How? [ Maybe he should've started with that, even if the broad strokes were explained up to a point - he was about to die, and his partner wouldn't let him. Quickly, he adds: ] How long?

[ How long did he dream of living in this future? ]

Edited 2025-02-05 04:37 (UTC)

Theoretically. I no longer feel its presence.

[If he ever felt it at all--if he's just trying to make sense of the visions dream. Ostensibly, the Hexcore is not physically present in this world. Anything he shows to Kyle is simply a recreation of what occurred, though that doesn't necessarily explain the way he can still feel the thrum of the arcane within him. The Singularity, perhaps, taking on the source of his magic, instead of the Hexcore.

Viktor doesn't necessarily want to think about those implications. Kyle is understandably horrified, though Viktor remains subdued. In his own mind, he's had some time to come to terms with it, after all--even if the transformation was forced on him.]

I...a few months. I think.

[ He's not sure what to make of that answer - he's equally unsure how to interpret Viktor's muted responses, if it's only that he's still reconciling this information himself, or if it's a sign of something else, a deeper change within him.

A few months. Not years, or decades. At least there's that. His gaze trails across Viktor's body again, his expression rendered indecipherable out of habit and caution as he continues to try not to let these past fears take hold.

He's alive, and that's what matters the most. Gently: ]

Tell me the rest. [ Everything that happened after this. He lightly tugs at Viktor's hand, wanting to lead him to somewhere to sit. Not that either of them technically need to in this realm, but it seems less awkward. ]

[Hopefully there's some relief in that answer. In those imagined months, Viktor has certainly come to terms with this form, and what he's become--any shame or apprehension comes from the fact that he knows he's shattering his and Kyle's fragile peace. The uncomfortable similarities to the god-future cannot be easy to swallow, not after they've taken the first step that made it a reality.

The rest is...a long story, but Viktor knows he can't avoid it. He'd brought them to the lab for a reason, because it's where everything begins. He steps away, moving to the work bench, running his hand across the tabletop, as he did in the dream. Blueprints, and a notebook, materialize there.]

After I woke up, I knew I had to leave.

[There was no choice. Even if he wasn't betrayed by what Jayce did, he would not have been allowed to exist in Piltover. It was for the best, to go.]

Jayce begged me to stay. But...we both knew it was impossible.

[ He's had very little permanence in his life, he should be happy this lasted as long as it did. Instead of finding a stool to sit he ends up following Viktor to the workbench, glancing over what is summoned into that space. Kyle tentatively reaches out and traces the front of the journal, then fixes his attention on the blueprints. He doesn't need to understand the finer details or discern any of the unfamiliar handwriting to recognize the shape of a rifle on one of the blueprints.

His brow furrows, frowning again as he untangles more of this. ]

He didn't go with you?

[The rifle, the gauntlets. All a corruption of their dream. It doesn't matter if Jayce thought he was putting them into the right hands. Hextech weapons were made, and used, and there is no going back from that. Viktor did what he believed was necessary, but he looks slightly surprised at the question, like it never occurred to him that Jayce going with him to Zaun was a possibility.]

I didn't give him the chance.

[Jayce didn't exactly argue, either, but Viktor had been upset and unsure of what he'd become. He wouldn't have let him follow, even if part of him most certainly wanted it.]

There is no place for him in the Undercity. And I was...emotional. I felt betrayed.

[ Without looking up he touches the blueprints carefully, as though he might scald his fingertips. ]

These were... to use against the Undercity - retribution? [ For the attack on the council he described earlier. In a way, in all worlds, this sort of conflict is the same - he lived through one his whole life in Basawar, it influences his understanding. Maybe Viktor's man thought of it as preventative measures, though he knows Viktor well enough now to know there would be no acceptable reason for their design and creation.

His gaze narrows slightly in concern as he glances at Viktor. ]

What were you doing there?

[ Putting himself in the middle of a long brewing conflict. ]

Edited 2025-02-07 03:15 (UTC)

They wanted the culprit. I imagine a small amount of weapons for a targeted strike was a compromise, to avoid all-out war.

[Truth be told, once Viktor established the Commune on the outskirts of the Fissures, he'd paid very little attention to the political situation until it arrived on his doorstep. In hindsight, it seems strange that Caitlyn and the Noxian detachment that accompanied her and the Doctor didn't find them sooner.

Even with all of that information, Kyle's question seems strange.]

Where else would I go?

[For all of his complicated feelings, the Undercity was his home. Self-exiled from Piltover, there was only ever one option.]

[ Kyle says nothing to that, without more context he has nothing useful to add. There's discomfort, for once, knowing he would likely assess the situation in the same way - and has enacted such targeted strikes with both the Payshmura, and then in Alidas' service. The threat of war and violence hangs over them in Abraxas too, but for the past month he's almost felt like he could shed that part of his identity. He should know better.

He grimaces, and after a beat or two of hesitation carefully slips his arms around Viktor's waist from behind him, resting his forehead against the top of his head, trusting that if Viktor doesn't want him to touch him like this anymore, he will eventually say so. ]

You could have snuck onto a boat, sailed off to see the edge of the ocean...

[ Like they joked about doing here, when they visited Aquila. He sounds a little sad. Part of what he admired about Viktor was his dedication to his home, his desire to see it healed. He knows Viktor would always be drawn back there. ]

[Viktor does not recoil from the touch, finding it comforting enough to lean into it, closing his eyes.]

I could have.

[Isn’t that a nice dream? Viktor isn’t sure how to describe the impulse he felt, the one that led him to the depths of the Fissures, only that he knew where he needed to be. Everything else revealed itself after that.]

If Jayce was going to build weapons for Piltover, then why should I need to wait, to bring Hextech to the Undercity? I wasted so much time placating their bureaucracy only for them to use my work to harm my people. I finally had the means to do something.

[ It gives him some relief again with the easy physicality that's still there. Viktor's hair tickles his face and he lets out a soft breath.

He remembers Viktor explaining that there had been talk of weaponization before, how he felt like he was not an equal partner when it came to decisions regarding the council's wishes. He doesn't try to guess what was going on in Jayce's mind, or what spurred his decision to capitulate. ]

What did you do?

[ He does not see any way this ends well, despite Viktor's intentions. Kyle has his hands around his bare middle, can still feel the warmth of him in spite of the transformation - he can feel somewhat soothed by the understanding that when they leave Horizon the rest of him will be flesh again. Mortal. But in this future - no matter the good Viktor wishes to bring to those people, there will still be those who see him as something else, merged with his miracle. They won't fear that he is capable of weapons, they will see him as a weapon.

The Rifter escaped that fate, but it had changed him. Kyle does not want that for Viktor. ]

Edited (I added a bunch of useless introspection) 2025-02-09 00:19 (UTC)

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these old threads take me forever to find, so I'm just linking them for both of us lmao