abraxaslogs | [open]

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Who: Viktor and special guests and YOU
When: end of January/February pre-event
Where: Cadens, the Horizon
What: it’s canon update time baybe and things have become…weird…
Warnings: potential references to suicidal ideation, and also a manslaughter. arcane season 2 spoilers through episode 6.

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[open and closed starters in comments! If you want a custom starter or something specific, just hit me up. Details on the canon update, including new powers are here. I’m on plurk at

whitticus and on discord also at whitticus.]

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Only if you're comfortable.

[He's not sure what it would accomplish--Viktor knows most of the worst parts of Alucard's past, and won't ask for the parts he doesn't know unless it feels necessary. Alucard shouldn't have to bare himself out of a misplaced desire for things to be "fair".]

You're not obligated to share. And I promise I will never do it without permission.

[Alucard pauses, arching one eyebrow slowly.]

Truthfully, I think you know everything.

[He does. The only new things would be the better moments. And that isn't the worst thing in the world to share, give what Viktor has just gone through.]

Then there is no need for me to enter your mind.

[He would not be so presumptuous. Viktor certainly doesn't know everything, but Alucard is right that they're familiar enough with each other by now that nothing would be a surprise. There's no obligation, here.]

Given what I just saw from you, perhaps you also need some happiness.

[There's that. Mixed in with the nonsense.]

I am content.

[Which he knows Alucard will not quantify as happy, but Viktor feels more at peace with the events of his dream, now that he remembers all his time in Abraxas. He's sure Alucard will continue to process this, too, but for now perhaps Viktor should be glad that he's offering this, instead of relitigating their arguments about the imagined years.]

Unless you're so adverse to talking about yourself that you'd prefer I probe your mind.

[Seems like doing it the hard way!]

Haven't we both learned that I'm better at expressing myself in action?

[Alucard's smile is soft. Rio's snoot gets a gentle boop as well.]

Go ahead. I think I want the scales balanced.

[Viktor still wonders if there isn't some kind of motive here--if Alucard isn't trying to atone for something, but this request is fairly explicit. He's reluctant, but he'll do so, trusting that Alucard isn't about to put something terrible in his brain.

He'll reach out, fingertips touching his forehead again--then closes his eyes, ready to explore.]

[Alucard isn't sure how this works at all. He tries to direct his thoughts into something resembling a decent chronology, but it skews younger than he would like. Tiny Adrian running around the castle with one or both his parents. The time he got stuck as a wolf and couldn't transform back, Dracula himself having to carry a wolf pup over his shoulder to bring him back home. All the awkwardness of quickly aging, the work of building the crypt with his father. There's joy there, real happiness, and his mother's presence and warmth is there even when she isn't. If there had been any questions about why Alucard focused so much on what it meant to be human, they're answered now. His mother is why.

The inevitable memories come too. Lisa's murder, the great fight between Alucard and Dracula that resulted in the giant scar down his chest and the agony of recovery. His friendship with Sypha and Trevor, the warmth it brought in the face of doing the unthinkable, mixed with flashes of Sypha's time in Abraxas. Dracula dies, Trevor and Sypha leave and Alucard processes his grief, lets the world in until it turns on him, until he's pulled out of a well and he's caged in with Geralt. Alucard tries to force through that portion, the stuff Viktor knows. He focuses on the good parts. Realizing actually Jaskier is his best friend. Reconciling with Sypha even if it meant fights and awkwardness. And...

...they're here again.]

[With Alucard's permission, Viktor allows himself to wander through the astral landscape of his mind. They've spent so much time talking about the traumatic instances of their past that sometimes it's difficult for Viktor to remember the love Alucard has for his parents and the time he spent with them in the castle, before everything went wrong.

He feels the joy--the happiness--as if it's his own.

Of course, it can't last, though Viktor knows that Alucard is not intentionally showing him the worst of it. Joy and despair--two sides of the same coin. His friend would not be the person he is without either, and Viktor watches as the unspeakable betrayal of his father's misdeeds gives way to new friendships. New bonds, just as valuable.

When they return to the astral space, there is little to say, at least, nothing that could properly convey his gratitude. Viktor, hesitantly at first, closes his hand around Alucard's upper arm and pulls him in for an embrace.]

[Alucard isn't sure what reaction he'll get. Maybe they'll circle back to the discussion of valuing one's humanity and emotions over other things. Maybe it'll be some other detail Viktor picks up on and is curious about.

But no. None of that happens. What's offered is taken at face value, and--

--The embrace is welcomed and returned in full force. Not just because the dhampir feels more vulnerable than he is comfortable with, but because Viktor has been through the wringer too. More than Alucard has, if the dhampir is being fully honest. He's seen immediate death, gone through a second apotheosis, and then there's whatever is going on with Jayce.

So they can float together in quiet for however long it feels appropriate. Alucard doesn't care.]

[It's unlike him, to initiate the physical contact, but Viktor isn't sure how else to express that he's thankful to Alucard, for sharing this with him. He did not necessarily ask for these abilities, and understands that they can be deeply invasive, so to have something given so freely is meaningful to him. He lets the touch linger for a long moment, and then pulls away, something of a sad smile on his face.]

Thank you for showing me this.

[Alucard lets go only when Viktor does, but this all brings up a new and exciting question: what happens next? What are the right words, and how does any of this impact the future? Alucard doesn't know. The future is more unsure than it has been lately.]

Thank you for enduring the things I was struggling to work around.

Enduring--you make it sound like a burden.

[Which friendship is very much not. But still, he knows what it's like to bare himself to someone, to approach every situation on the defense, for fear of getting hurt.]

Only the unfortunate bits. [Alucard's smile is small, mostly trying to shrug the worst parts off for the time being.] You didn't need to have the first hand experience of those.

No. But I would have weathered it, if you wanted me to.

[All he's ever wanted was to end suffering--now, he finally has the means to do so, or at least he dreamed of a world where it was possible.]

You don't have to bear any of this alone. I hope you know that.

I know that. But you know I've always liked my privacy. And some things are more difficult to put into words.

[So here they are then. Floating.]

Are you okay outside of the Horizon? With where you've landed in the territories and all.

The advantage of a place like this, I suppose.

[And the advantage of touch-telepathy, though he does not voice as much. It's served its purpose, for now, and he has no further reason to pry.]

I'm still in Cadens. [Thankfully.] They'll have to drag me out of here.

Precisely so.

[Alucard kind of wants to see the attempt to drag Celestial Viktor out. He thinks he'd be funny. And that Viktor would win.]

Good. Perhaps when I return, we should revise those new lab plans? I imagine you have grander ideas now.

[At the mention of the lab, Viktor offers a little smile--remembering the blueprints after what feels like a long time away, even though none has passed at all. It's a nice thought, though he thinks they both know that everything is different now. The Singularity's activity is coming to a head.]

I would like that.

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