[Teddy sits on their knees, half curled around Eddie for who knows how long. They’’really only half aware of the edges of their body and at the same time, their heartbeat, the way their pulse echoes in their hands, the strange feeling of tears they didn’t notice crying cooling on their face all feel like they’ve been turned all the way up. They can’t help but keep thinking of that other universe, too. Eight centuries and —
What was this for, all of this choosing, this weighing out of life and belonging, who to stay with and who to leave, whether to embrace or put down that power if in the end —
Okay, sure. Teddy knows damn well life isn’t a storybook with a purpose or a neat tied up storyline. He never could stand that God’s plan bullshit in church even when he did believe.
It just. Couldn’t things just once go, yeah, hey, you deserve the good endfor people Teddy cares about?
As it is, she does what she does: she looks at a fucking disaster and she finds the thing she can start with. She can’t fix this, can’t even try, but she can make Eddie not freeze.
His ‘okay’ is so small and tired and Teddy can’t even tell if it’s okay, I’m going to freeze or okay, I know I need to get up. It makes her feel like someone reached right through her rib cage and left the shards behind.
But it’s something.]
Okay.
[They get up, slowly, coaxing him up too. Teddy’s stronger than they look: they probably could’ve fireman-carried Eddie up that mountain, and they — fuck. The funny memory comes with a sharp jolt, remembering Eddie’s fond mimic of Steve.
Teddy takes a breath and holds onto Eddie’s arms, steadying them both.]
We should get inside. Is there… Anywhere you want to be? Or …don’t want to?
[She can imagine any of several places being either horribly painful or comforting right now. Or maybe it doesn’t even matter, but it feels right to ask.]
no subject
What was this for, all of this choosing, this weighing out of life and belonging, who to stay with and who to leave, whether to embrace or put down that power if in the end —
Okay, sure. Teddy knows damn well life isn’t a storybook with a purpose or a neat tied up storyline. He never could stand that God’s plan bullshit in church even when he did believe.
It just.
Couldn’t things just once go, yeah, hey, you deserve the good endfor people Teddy cares about?
As it is, she does what she does: she looks at a fucking disaster and she finds the thing she can start with. She can’t fix this, can’t even try, but she can make Eddie not freeze.
His ‘okay’ is so small and tired and Teddy can’t even tell if it’s okay, I’m going to freeze or okay, I know I need to get up. It makes her feel like someone reached right through her rib cage and left the shards behind.
But it’s something.]
Okay.
[They get up, slowly, coaxing him up too. Teddy’s stronger than they look: they probably could’ve fireman-carried Eddie up that mountain, and they — fuck. The funny memory comes with a sharp jolt, remembering Eddie’s fond mimic of Steve.
Teddy takes a breath and holds onto Eddie’s arms, steadying them both.]
We should get inside. Is there…
Anywhere you want to be? Or …don’t want to?
[She can imagine any of several places being either horribly painful or comforting right now. Or maybe it doesn’t even matter, but it feels right to ask.]