abraxaslogs | [ OPEN / CLOSED ] i think i found a way to kill the sun

Their roundness is something that Estinien can also observe, at this point - though in his mind, it's more than the sheep of Abraxas are strangely horse shaped. They do retain many of the same features, but there's a quality to the karakul's curved snouts and winding tails that has been left unsatisfied. As such, he frequently visits his slide of the Horizon, continuing to care for his flock. He feels it is his duty to do so. After all, he created them.

As Geralt pauses to pet the creatures, they snuffle at him curiously, interested in this new arrival and if he has any treats. There are fenced off garden areas along the edge of the field they occupy, filled with various fruits and vegetables - a no sheep zone, by default, but they have come to expect that people being here means that it's food time.

It's not long after Geralt's arrival that he will hear a roar, however - not one of fury, or threat, but as if a call to alertness. Perhaps dragon-like. The sheep themselves don't seem bothered or afraid.

Soon after, he'll hear a familiar voice, coming form ahead. Estinien Wyrmblood has arrived, surprisingly silently. He looks as his normal self, except for the pair of dragonic wings coming from his back. His expression is serious for a moment, looking Geralt over, before his brow raises and his gaze softens.

"Well, you may as well give them something. They'll be disappointed if you don't."

Roar aside, it's not the voice that catches his attention, but the combination of a heartbeat and a scent that he can vaguely place. His head is cocked, listening. He looks up as Estinien draws near.

Ah. Of course. The one place he stops in. His own brow lifts. Wings are new. He doesn't ask since when the elf sprouted those. Himeka had not mentioned them, but he's gathered what Himeka deems significant information isn't always as expected.

"I'd hate to disappoint." There's a pointed dryness in his words, or perhaps that's just how he always sounds.

He can't say no to the sheep nosing at him, though. Geralt produces a handful of berries. Do they eat berries? Doesn't matter; that's what they're getting. The only thing he knows about sheep is they graze on grass and need to be sheered.

"I wasn't aware these were yours," he adds. He'd not stopped in to speak to Estinien, in other words. In case the elf thought he might be here for a reason.

Edited 2021-12-13 06:18 (UTC)

Estinien watches to see what Geralt gives them, as if making sure its on an approved feeding list. Once he sees it's berries, he seems satisfied. That'll do - nothing wrong with giving them that as a treat. Sheep are one thing Estinien knows plenty about, and is learning more every day, as he refreshes his youthful memory and works to rebuild the Gardsbruk homestead.

He'd been a bit uncertain why Geralt was present, but it being an accident honestly makes more sense than anything else Estinien had imagined. While there is undeniably some tension, Estinien seems to have loosened up a bit since their last meeting. If he was really feeling antagonistic he wouldn't have let Geralt near his sheep nor invited him to feed them.

He's had some epiphanies in the meantime, though, which he's sure Geralt is unaware of. Coincidence or not, he wonders if he should use this opportunity to say something. He's not about to apologize for not knowing things he had no way of knowing... but he can at least apply what he knows now to the situation.

"Well, I won't stop you, if you mean no harm," he says, lifting his shoulders. "I've taken to wandering this place, myself. Much quieter, with most of its inhabitant in the waking world."

Other than his conversation with Himeka, he's frankly given little thought to Estinien. A million fucking things have happened. The last on his mind is a one-off barbed exchange. It's nothing about Estinien, really. More that Geralt has spent most the majority of his life with people threatening him or trying to fight him and it all sort of gets swept aside after the thousandth time. He'd not heard from the elf nor seen him since that exchange, and that was good enough for him.

Except he's seeing him now, so. He's willing to get out of the way if Estinien wants; he's not here to start anything. But it seems Estinien has gotten over his shit, at least outwardly. For what reason, Geralt doesn't know. If there's no problem at the moment, though, then Geralt has no interest in making one. He's too damn old for grudges.

"Mm. Got tired of people bumping shoulders." Solvunn is undoubtedly less filled to the brim, but Cadens? He'd kill for some breathing room as of late.

The last of the berries gone, Geralt straightens up gingerly. He's never looked especially put together, but there's a roughness to him that hadn't been there before—torn nails, marks healing up his forearms and just under where the medallion rests against his chest. The worst of it is hidden, though.

He eyes Estinien, contemplating. He may not know for certain what could have changed—Himeka, time, a strange dream, who the fuck can say?—but he hazards a guess. He knows Jaskier spoke to damn near everyone he could think of when Geralt vanished. "You spoke to the bard."

Curious, Estinien thinks, that the man's injuries have followed him here. In a realm where anything is possible, he would have thought such things could be dismissed if desired... though maybe it's more complicated than that, when it comes to scars left on the psyche. He's pulled away from those contemplations by Geralt suddenly asking about Jaskier, though.

Or, more accurately, he's not asking. He's stating. Estinien tilts his head slightly, unsure what he's said that has given it away. Geralt isn't wrong, after all. Though any change in Estinien's disposition is probably not actually from the conversation Geralt is thinking of.

"Aye," Estinien admits. "I've been making a habit of it, as it happens." At least, since that whole thing where he avoided him for months for no good reason. He isn't going to get into that, though. He contemplates the assertion for a moment longer.

"Did he make mention of it?" He didn't get the impression the two of them were overly communicative about this kind of thing. Otherwise, he wonders what gave Geralt that impression.

A habit, huh. Geralt is not surprised to hear this is the case. Jaskier has that way about him. The sheep bounce about his feet, and he's careful not to trip over them as he shifts his weight.

"I know he went to people," he replies. "When I was—" You know. "—absent."

It is partly Estinien's disposition that has Geralt bringing it up, but the other part is that he's been especially aware that between Jaskier and Ciri and Sam, there were...those they'd gone to. Searching for him. Who helped, even if not for his sake, then for theirs. It makes him feel as though he should say something, if Estinien were one of them. Acknowledge it, perhaps. He doesn't know. It's not what he expected, that there should be so many who went out of their way for him, directly or not. He can't say he likes that everyone's been in his business, but he can hardly begrudge Jaskier and Ciri for doing all they can.

If this turns out to be another conversation he regrets, he'll blame it on his head still being fucked up.

Ah. That seems to be enough of an answer for Estinien, at least. Maybe Geralt is interpreting his behaviour as pity, based on what he's recently been through - and he wouldn't be entirely incorrect. There's been some amount of pity present ever since Estinien got the impression that Geralt is a lovesick fool for that sorceress.

That's not the totality of it, though. A lot of it just comes down to him understanding where Geralt is coming from, and therefore not seeing a reason to antagonize him. His motives don't seem malicious after all, and less arrogant than he initially perceived.

"I see," he says. "He did speak to me of your troubles - though not until after it was resolved. There was little I could have done from Solvunn." Which does seem to imply he would have done something, had there been the opportunity. Which is the truth, for multiple reasons. "I heard it was Thorne that besieged you, all the way out in the Free Cities."

He can definitely see the conflict there, on multiple levels.

It's for the best. Geralt had specifically not wanted anyone to do anything from the outside. He'd told Jaskier to keep Ciri from coming after him for a reason, as much as he knew she'd have done so without hesitation had either of them known where he was. Which he also hadn't said, for the same reason.

Because it comes down to Ciri, as always. The only thing he's ever wanted is to protect her and he'd so nearly failed.

"Their mages slipped into Cadens." He assumes those mages are back safe in Thorne, or elsewhere, after they took him through the portal. "Or the queen's mages, I should say."

His words are dry, edged with distaste when he refers to the queen, but that's the only indication he gives on how he feels. Maybe he's expected to be angry, maybe he's expected to want revenge or pledge his stance. But the only thing this incident has done is exhaust him further. What he wants is some fucking sleep. He knows he will get none. And though he's returned, it's far from the end. More and more are being summoned into the cities; each one who steps through feels that much closer to a war that will have no victors. He does not, in truth, know where in the hell he's meant to take Ciri (and Jaskier and Rinwell and a growing list of people rapidly becoming important to him) should anything happen. He has no other plan, no Kaer Morhen to keep her safe within.

"The queen..." Estinien growls, mulling it over in his mind. Of course it'd be her. Ambrose was a fool, but the queen was downright reckless. Crueller still. "The same queen that tormented Relena."

There is disgust in his voice, thinking of that. He's not sure if Geralt has heard, but he knows Relena wasn't exactly quiet about it.

"Bold of her to strike so far from her kingdom," he says after a pause, eyeing Geralt carefully. "Yet, somehow... I can't imagine you were the key to whatever secrets they might seek. Not you in particular."

He doubted Geralt was the type to invest enough in the Free Cities to have sensitive information.

"So, 'twas it bad luck, or something else?"

He has his guesses.

The pointed question goes unanswered for awhile. He starts to walk. Right. The same queen. Overseeing the things a queen would not normally waste her time overseeing, with her spineless mage boy.

Himeka had told him Estinien had made clumsy efforts towards diplomacy. Geralt has no reason to disbelieve her, even though he stands by what he told her—that the elf is shit at it. There's a look cast in Estinien's direction that says they both know he can make his guesses. He is not here to defend either Yennefer or himself for the choices they've made. Never has been. Certainly not to an effective stranger. But he can't deny things have gotten more tangled as of late.

"Key or not, they were able to break into my mind," he replies finally. "So you'll understand when I tell you I've little inclination to discuss Yennefer's involvement with you or yours should your number ever come up."

It's no longer a matter of trust, though there's that, too. But explicitly, the fewer who realize why Yennefer is in Thorne, the better. Still, the implication is there, that there's more to it than a case of Yennefer remaining behind simply because she's amongst those who give a fuck about what Thorne wants. He imagines only a small handful of those in the castle actually care about what Thorne wants, in fact.

Edited 2021-12-18 10:26 (UTC)

The sheep, perhaps unsurprisingly, continue to flock around Geralt's feet even as he begins to move. Maybe searching for more food, maybe something else. Whatever it is, they end up getting in the way.

Estinien pushes into the flock as well, stilling some of the move boisterous ones with a touch of his hand. He allows Geralt his time. By now, he's already gotten a sense of the man's priorities, and he's not sure if they're compatible. Right now, it's not a matter of diplomacy or manipulation. He's ill-suited to either. Instead, he's just speaking to Geralt with what he's learned in mind.

There's something like concern, deep within. Yet, he has little expectation of that being perceived or accepted. It doesn't matter, either way.

"I see," is all he says at first. Reading minds is not something that comes trivially in his world, but there are plenty of things adjacent to it - all of them disturbing. It doesn't surprise him that Thorne would have their ways, though. Even if he doesn't like it.

Really, he hadn't even settled on Yennefer being the key factor, even if it was something that pinged him as relevant. So, in some ways, Geralt has already confirmed some things to him.

"'Tis a revelation that bodes ill. For all of us."

Edited 2021-12-18 22:25 (UTC)

Sheep will flock, he supposes. He sidesteps them with some patience, waiting for them to shuffle out of the way before he keeps moving. Mind reading would be trivial were he human, but he's not. He doesn't like that they tore through, even if he suspects it was secondary to the main point. Yennefer watched the queen's little display. Perhaps the queen can be satisfied with that for a time.

He has other things to think about. Or other things he'd rather think about.

"Everything about this world bodes ill," he says.

But here they are, anyway. He glances over at Estinien. In the same way, he's gathered they will not see eye to eye. He's not interested in forcing it so, either. Some places cannot be met in the middle. There is one thing, though, that's worth noting, something that he was not able to confirm until he was dumped in there himself.

"The cells were empty. When I was there. I was the only one they were holding."

That information does get a reaction, though it's not in something as obvious as widening eyes or a gaping mouth. Instead, it's in how Estinien's face seems to go blank for a moment, as if retreating inward to figure out the ramifications of it.

All this time, there has been a weight on his chest, wondering if his compliance with the will of Solvunn was leaving new arrivals to suffer as he had - if Ambrose had been continuing his barbarous plans. To hear that there were no signs of it means more to Estinien than Geralt might realize. Even better is that it means that Thorne is not yet engaging in mass kidnappings, even if they someday intend to.

"...That is well," he says, finally, the traces of a relieved smile on his lips. It doesn't mean it won't change in the future, but it eases his mind for the moment. He hesitates for a moment longer, and then adds:

"Know that if they come for you again, I would offer my aid," he says. "In whatever way I can."

It doesn't matter who Geralt is or whether he can be counted as an ally. If there's one thing Estinien can't abide, it's Thorne pursuing their lost prisoners.

Well to a degree. They obviously still find use for the summoned, if what Kylo says is true about amnesty. The man had no reason to lie to him. Not in that moment. Still, it tells him that if worse comes to worse, he can send Ciri Yen's way. Perhaps. If it's something that needs to be done. At the moment, he still prefers to keep Ciri away from Thorne where he can. The amount of magic they wield and their obsession with the Singularity is too dangerous where she's concerned.

He glances over for a second, then away again. He reaches down to pat a sheep on the head as he passes it by. There's a vague hum, but he says nothing about Estinien's seeming change of heart or what his agenda may be this time. "Let's hope you needn't bother. Besides, I'd keep your eye on things closer to home."

They know what Thorne wants, and he's beginning to put together what the Free Cities may want, too. Solvunn is a mystery he's yet to crack. The only one he keeps in regular contact with from that place is Amos and the man is hardly a wealth of information on the innerworkings of a settlement.

"I have been."

He's about as entrenched in Solvunn's affairs as one can be with the limited time he's been there. He's been trying to figure it all out with his limited means. He's not exactly a true believer at this point, but he has his hopes.

"I've spoken to the leadership, for good or ill," he says. "Strangely enough, they actually agree with you. They don't see any purpose in pursuing Thorne directly."

He's not going dump everything he's learned on Geralt, but he thought at least that must was interesting. Despite everything, Solvunn may be more aligned with Geralt's priorities than any of the others.

It is interesting. Geralt quietly makes note of that information. Given Solvunn's open claim on neutrality, it only makes sense, but hearing it confirmed is worth considering. Or at least, confirmed on the surface. He's never really trusted what those holding the reins have to say.

He lets a few seconds go by, watching the sheep bounce along through the grassy plain. "It isn't about pursuing Thorne or finding who agrees or disagrees." He's said it before, that his priority is on taking care of his own. Not chasing after seats of power to dismantle them only for something equally or far worse to fill the void. "I just have no desire to be anyone's playing card one way or the other."

The queen is a problem. So is the prime minister. They are all problems, and even if one were to agree with him on a matter in theory, he still has no interest in putting his support behind their agenda on that basis alone. Their ambitions, whatever those are.

Because more and more, that's what the summoned seem to be. Cards. Assets. For what, he isn't certain. He's been trying to puzzle that out from the beginning and none of the answers have quite added up. All he knows is every one of these territories have found cause to replicate the process that Thorne started and that nothing good can ever come of this. What peace has been held so far, he suspects, is due to no nation believing they have enough leverage to win an outright war. He's not looking forward to the day that changes.

Estinien can't claim to be enthusiastic about it himself. Maybe it's because he's been here before that he can tolerate it, working on the inside, at least sort of. He didn't hold to that very well, and by the end of it, he'd mostly taken the Holy See's power and run to do with it what he thought best. Here, though, he isn't as confident in that working.

"'Twill be difficult to avoid," he says. "Though it brings me no joy, either." He's not ignorant to the way the factions see them, especially after having spoken to the head of Solvunn itself. Though it could have been worse, the experience did have a way of crushing his most idealistic hopes. Extremely useful assets, but not ones worth coordinating with, was the impression he got.

It's something he could have easily understood and sympathized with if Solvunn hadn't started bringing in people themselves. As it is, all the factions have made one stance clear, and that's that they don't consider the Summoned's plight worth worrying about.

"...I know your experiences have been different," he finally says, after a moment. "Speaking to Jaskier of your world has been enough to tell me that." And speaking to him of Geralt himself. "But in the realm I came from... I truly have seen things get better. Things I thought beyond repair. Real change that convinced me to hope, despite everything I've seen."

But if there's anything spending more time here has taught him, it's that there's no guarantees that things will be like he's experienced, either. He sighs.

"I've been trying to determine whether this place... is like my home. Or yours. Or perhaps neither."

Mm. What else has Jaskier been saying, he wonders. Not that it especially bothers him, but—there is, too, that what Jaskier sees is not always what he sees, both of the world and otherwise.

He hums. "When the people overthrew their king, they believed saw real change. Then a decade went by, another came to claim the throne, and half the north is now burning."

Was it worth it? Maybe. Maybe for those humans who had their years of peace in their short lives, it was. That's not really for him to say. He does not live under kings and rulers and within lands held by those who care too little and have too much.

Either way, that's not the crux of it. A world is a world. Sometimes things change, sometimes they last, sometimes it falls to ruin decades later. Sometimes what is hopeful for some spells only despair for others. What the world is or is not capable of is not a point he wants to contend. And it's not the reason Estinien pissed him off that day. For him, it's much simpler.

"You have your reasons to do as you will," he continues evenly. "It's not my place to tell you where to find your purpose. But it is not your place to tell me where I'm to find mine, either. Whatever the state of the world may be."

There's a flutter of irritation in his gut, though in a way that's largely imperceptible from the outside. Yes, part of him wants to say, I know. For Estinien's part, he's no longer debating the need for action or lack thereof with Geralt. He's already gotten the impression that the man has too much baggage to even defend himself properly let alone make any hopeful stands.

But he supposes that he should find some worth in the fact that Geralt is explaining himself at all, even if Estinien is no longer interested in even trying to recruit him towards any cause. What he said just before was more about trying to let the man know that as bad as it felt, it didn't always have to be that way. Yet, he supposes Geralt just thinks he's naive for saying so.

"I'm not telling you to do anything," he says. "Not now. 'Twould clearly be a waste of both our energy." He isn't exactly sorry for taking issue with Geralt's aggressive passivity, but he also isn't going to keep fighting against a wall for no particular reason. Especially now that he's come to terms with the fact that Geralt's perception of things may be more personal and not the figurehead of everything Estinien was finding frustrating at the time.

Fortunately, Estinien realizes now that he doesn't have to agree with Geralt's takes to be friends with Jaskier, which was, foolishly or not, one of his concerns. There's some relief in that.

Geralt's eyes are fixed on Estinien, like he's trying to decide how much Estinien has absorbed his words. He's not seeking an apology. He isn't even looking for Estinien to grasp where he's coming from. He does not need Jaskier to shed light over his experiences or what lays in his mind on his behalf. The only thing he wants is for Estinien to understand that it isn't about a difference in worlds or philosophy or morals. Part of it, but not most of it. It's that he does not care to act solely upon another's behest, demanded in haste in the heat of the moment. If he chooses to do something, if he finds it necessary, it'll be on his own terms, in his own time, for reasons he owes explaining to no one except those who matter to him.

Whatever he sees in the elf's face, it's enough. "Good."

He looks away again. The matter's been settled; he sees no reason to push at it any further, either, and now that it has, some of his harder edges bleed off a little. Instead, his thoughts turn towards something he's been mulling over ever since his conversation with Himeka. He'd not asked her at the time, given how much they'd been peeling away about each other's spheres, but ever since, he's been reflecting on some of what she's said.

And there is one particular aspect that he cannot shake: "Himeka calls your world a shard. Why is that?"

It's a wearying accord, but it's better than nothing, he supposes. He doesn't find 'don't tell me what to do' a particularly compelling primary objective, and that's as someone who has committed his fair share of disobedience. He himself has avoided being 'drafted' into this or that before, but in the end, he doesn't regret having heard those people out, or having done what was asked of him.

It was important, in the end. His reluctance was more on account of his own foolishness and doubt. Geralt, though, seems to be a man of stubbornness that puts his own days as the Azure Dragoon to shame. He can only imagine how much worse the Warrior of Light's journeys would have gone if everyone only ever did what they wanted and took critical offense being argued with on the subject.

But it's fine, he tells himself. From Jaskier's explanation, it sounds like a series of bad experiences led to this path, and that's not something Estinien thinks he can objectively judge. By the same merit, he has had his own negative experiences impact him greatly. Some things are complicated. He can accept that.

So, he'll try to explain this bit of cosmology to him, even if he's probably the least qualified Scion to be doing so.

"'Tis a part of what was once a greater whole," he says. "There was once one world, occupied by beings of unsurpassed magicks. They created gods to cure their world's ills, and in the end, one of them decided to sunder the realm into fourteen 'shards' to prevent its people from continuing along their path of folly."

At least, that's what he was told, more or less. The source of the Ascians, and also Eorzea's recent apocalypses.

He's already moved past their discussion, unconcerned with how Estinien feels or thinks of him so long as the elf knows to leave his sullen temperament out of Geralt's business. He's got more important things to consider. Namely, not what royals and rulers want to fight over in this world, but what the world itself actually holds. What it means. Because there's something tangible here, something he's not told anyone: that Ciri has, for the first time, stepped into a place she cannot leave and where the Red Riders cannot find her in turn.

Double-edged sword, as it were. He's so fucking tired of mysteries built on myths that are not myths at all.

"That's funny," he says casually. "Mine was created when multiple spheres collided into one."

And when he'd told Himeka, she'd taken on a certain look, asked him how long ago, and then drained her beer with a blank stare. He's beginning to realize why.

Some things are coincidences. He's not so sure this one is. Probably, this warrants another conversation with her—one he'd put aside at the time, waiting for when he had the chance to think it over more. Though it's curious Himeka appears to have left this detail unmentioned to Estinien. Or did she tell him? He looks over again, as if to see what he can confirm without needing to ask.

Whatever concerned Himeka about the notion, it doesn't seem to strike Estinien in the same way. It isn't that he's completely disinterested - that sounds curious, to be sure - but he honestly is more inclined to dismiss it as a coincidence. So many other weird things happen to their star. Why shouldn't it be the same elsewhere?

Estinien is fairly comfortable not understanding things he considers outside of his purview, so while he looks a bit perplexed, it's not on account of any sense of urgency or thirst to figure out the root of the contrast. He's sure the more scholarly types from the Scions would have better theories, but...

"I suppose that isn't surprising, given that mine own world has undergone similar... rejoinings." Or similar enough for Estinien. "Mayhap they were once connected parts of a bygone era? Or perhaps 'tis simply a law of the universe that what can be sundered can also be merged."

If Himeka didn't mention it to him, he'd assume it was because it isn't any weirder than everything else going on in this place.

For a man so keen on being involved out of duty, Estinien is certainly selective about what catches his attention. But then, perhaps Geralt already knew that, from the very start, when the elf had zeroed in on Ambrose as a target, and then Thorne. He makes no remark on the lacklustre response. His impression of Estinien is that of a soldier through and through, with thought for little else other than finding things to fight for or over.

Not that it especially matters. Estinien is free to concern himself with what he will and disregard what he won't. He is not here to dictate another's path. Uncertain and vague as Estinien's answer is, Geralt takes it in carefully, anyway, for what details might be there. And he does find something: similar rejoinings.

Himeka had not mentioned that, though they'd discussed her ability to cross between worlds more than anything. Is that what it is? A continual coming together and breaking apart? He'd talked of the same with Julie, of her shifting land masses, and a pattern is starting to form. Is that what Thorne is so afraid of from the Singularity?

He does not, truthfully, believe a singular structure can bring about the end of the world. There must be more to it than that. But the Conjunction is an undeniable event. So is Himeka's sundering. Knowing what he does, it leaves possibilities open he isn't sure he likes. Something is here that he's missing, and he doesn't know what it is.

He turns towards the path between the mountains that starts to lead out of the domain. His head tips, acknowledging that he's heard what Estinien's said. "Your last rejoining. How long ago was it?"

Edited 2021-12-28 18:07 (UTC)

Estinien frowns to himself, casting his gaze to the grass and trees around them. This, he looks more troubled about. After all, his entire homeland lost much during that time.

"Seven or eight years, by now?"

He realizes now he isn't even sure what world was swallowed to create that calamity - what ascian machinations went into making it happen, on some distant shard. He hasn't liked to contemplate it in too much detail, ever since the concept was explained to him. Untold suffering, in some other plane, and devastation brought to Eorzea itself.

"None of us knew that was what was happening, then. Most still don't." The perspective of the Scions is something mostly world leaders are privy to - not because it's a secret, but because it's so far beyond most people's comprehension of reality. "An entire world and its peoples consumed, even as ours was thrown into chaos..."

There are so many unpleasant questions associated with it. When was the moment that the Source changed? That the murdered souls of another world were forced back into it? it's not the sort of thing he wants to contemplate.

"'Tis not something that happened naturally. 'Twas orchestrated by the remnants of the world that came before. It almost happened again more recently, but Himeka and the others put a stop to it."

As was their way. His faith in them is unquestioned at this point.

"I know not if your world was a similar affair, but with all that I've seen and heard... little surprises me."

[ OPEN / CLOSED ] i think i found a way to kill the sun

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