[ OPEN / CLOSED ] i think i found a way to kill the sun

[gynvael]

Who: Geralt + Various
When: December
Where: Cadens, Horizon
What: Some catching up now that he's home
Warnings: Discussion of trauma; nsfw marked



(( placing starters in the comments below. find me at discontinued or at Noa#1979 to plot stuff! ))

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[vixening]

[ she realizes, for a second time that night, how much she means the words. how much she's been meaning to say them, whether or not she'd have the chance. everything in this place since she'd arrived here has felt so far from possible that she hasn't really allowed herself the chance to consider why, but the chance to actually say those words to him. to whisper them in the safety of this imaginary tent, on this bed, against him? whether or not it was possible, yennefer was not going to let the chance pass her by.

they sit like that for some time, and she is glad for it. glad for the quiet, glad for the still, glad for the simple, consistent, heavy weight of him near to her. for a few moments she just closes her eyes and listen to his own heart, to the sound of his breaths, to the stillness of the room.

it will not last. it never lasts. but this- this she wants to. and so, like most things in her life, she tries to take it. and she succeeds, if only for a few extra minutes. until they settle side by side on the bed. until he is turning to face her, until he speaks, and she feels that easy calm start to grow taut.

yennefer sits up, then, though it isn't much. having been on her stomach, she merely pulls her arms to her, sitting up on her elbows so it feels less like...like what? like she isn't taking this seriously? like this is some grave matter to discuss? ]

Whether or not you believe me, I am doing this for her. [ she looks down at her hands on the sheets, and not to where she knows geralt is turned to her. where he faces her and watches, his expression neutral. his tone even. his hand still drifts across her arm and the gooseflesh it leaves in its wake nearly had her shuddering. though it also, in many ways, grounds her to this. he does not accost her, but his tone is firm, and yennefer knows. it should surprise her, in a way - how quickly he has shifted, how easily his place of protecting ciri has fit him. the image of geralt she'd had in her mind for so long had been of him running away, avoiding children because what? what was it he'd said? that their lives weren't made for a child? and yet here they sat, here they spoke, here they directed their lives for the single purpose of one. (though ciri is hardly a child at all)

yennefer sighs, as if to tell geralt to wait. that she's not quite done. to not interrupt just yet. ] You've heard of what happened to the other prisoner by now? Relena? [ yennefer hasn't turned to him yet, her eyes still down to her palms, her fingers, her nails, where her forearms lay against the sheets. ] That had been the Queen- separate from Ambrose and separate from her King. It was not a larger play by Thorne, but her; an experiment done by her word, and her mage, Grigory. [ there is a tension that shudders over her at the mention of him - if only because, for a moment, it brings them both back to that throne room. to geralt being split open. she pushes through. ] And she has taken a personal interest in us Summoned, and the abilities we posses. And she is one of the few people in Thorne with the resources and power to do something to satiate that curiosity. Which will lead her enemies. She comes from a military background, so of course what better way to find subjects of her experiments than members of the same states her country has tensions with already?

[ like the free cities.

and yes, there is more to what she is saying and she's sure geralt understands that - the way that politics work, the way these royals shift and change. it's a game, sure, but it's much more than that. advantages and disadvantages, some things gained and some things lost. she could start listing off the various reasons why situating herself within the queen's interest would work, what it would provide them all, what it could open up. she could go into how much the queen reminds her of the stories she'd heard of calanthe, she could speak of how ambrose is nothing if the queen ever chose to make it so.

but that's not what geralt is asking, so yennefer doesn't bother. ]

But if she has a Summoned at her fingertips who can refocus her attention elsewhere, or- [ this is not her, she realizes. this thought process, this sort of strategy. part of her wonders if geralt will even believe her. but it is the truth, the thoughts that have been swirling around in her head since she first reached out for the audience. what keeps her up at night, going over the steps in her head. ] -who is willing to satiate that curiosity for her, she'd have no reason to go searching for that power elsewhere.

[ and then she is done, falling quiet for a single moment before she does finally turn her eyes to him. and despite whatever her worries might be, whatever concerns she might have of if he believes her or not, the look he'll get from her is one of a yennefer who has made up her mind. ]

[gynvael]

[ Whether or not you believe me. It's not his intention to doubt her. It isn't. He wants nothing more than to trust her, to believe her, and he does. He just. Something lingers. Maybe it's simply too soon, this conversation. Maybe that's all it is. He's come here, to her, seen her for the first time since—all of that. And she might have healed his physical wounds, he can use the Horizon to heal them and ignore them but what has seeped and ripped into his mind remains. The rawness has not left him. It's just that he can...start to think about it now. Let himself feel it.

He lets her talk. His attention is fixed on her, taking in her words. They are not reassuring. He knows. He knows that the queen is acting of her own accord, he knows Relena was done in secret. He knows the queen is keeping her ploys quiet to avoid scrutiny from her people. He knows but it isn't the point. Because he wants the queen's attention on Yennefer no more than he wants it on Ciri. He did not agree for Yen to stay in Thorne so she can throw herself to the wolves instead. That is not—

His eyes close briefly before they open again. He does not want to part from her with a wall between them. Ciri trusts her. With her magic, her deepest secret. And more than that, he needs her. Yennefer. (He needs to believe she's among of the few he can turn to. He had turned to her. Back there, bleeding out on the ground. He knows she'd done what she had to. He wouldn't have wanted anything less.)

Her heart is steady. He can hear it. ]

I believe you. [ He sighs. Everything feels so fucked. Despite her gesture of healing earlier, some of the ache returns to him. ] Just be careful. You're important to me, too.

[vixening]

[ yennefer has not needed other's belief in her to push her way forward before. it's why she frames it the way she does - whether you believe me or not. because it hadn't mattered if she was believed. hadn't mattered if she was called insane, or impossible, or any combination of the two. she had done everything she had wanted, everything she had thought she could do, and there was very little that stood in her way.

geralt's belief in her, though. for some reason that matters. for some reason, it's worth building back up the foundation of those walls, collecting the materials just in case. she says whether or not, but still some part of her holds her breath, just to make sure. just in case. just...

i believe you. and yennefer lets out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. i believe you and any tension she'd been drawing in on herself is released. she turns, as if some part of her doesn't believe he's said it, to see geralt still there. on his side, facing her, wrapped up in her sheets. just be careful he adds. you're important to me too. yennefer feels herself pause at that, at the easy way the words filter through the air. at the way he just...says them. she knows her pendant is still there, knows that it is tucked behind his own. knows he's still wearing it even now. that this isn't the first time he's said it. and yet even still - that part of her she gave to him, that secret she'd offered up, turned back to face her...

yennefer moves, then. finders herself sliding across the bed. to turn towards him, to fit herself up against his chest and to tangle her ankles up with his and to press her forehead to the same place where his heart is. where she can hear the slow, slow, slow beating of his heart. she closes her eyes, once she's close enough. once she feels like she can feel him all around her. ]

I know. [ she says gently, quietly, barely a whisper. she knows he can hear it, so she doesn't bother speaking up. ] And I will. [ there is a moment, barely even a second, that passes. and the she is pressing a kiss to his chest - unspoken, but hopefully he hears it. thank you. ]