Jaskier "old-timey fuckboy" Alfred Pankratz (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cointosser) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
abraxaslogs2022-01-17 02:29 pm
cointosser) wrote in abraxaslogs2022-01-17 02:29 pm
[ OPEN/SOME CLOSED ] if I had to do it over, I'd do it all again
Who: Jaskier, Ciri, Geralt, Yennefer, Alucard, and some open prompts
When: Mid-to-Late January
Where: Cadens and the Horizon
What: Jaskier wakes from a vivid, nasty dream to physical evidence that it was unfortunately very real. He spirals, but like, only a little bit. It mostly involves getting drunk and buying hats to cope.
Warnings: Mentions of bodily injury/torture, maybe PTSD, heavy drinking
[Will be throwing starters (including open ones) down below! You can hit me up at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
scathefire or #scathefire6612 if you'd like to plot anything or want an additional starter. Also, let me know if you'd like me to avoid S2 spoilers, because there will be a lot.]
When: Mid-to-Late January
Where: Cadens and the Horizon
What: Jaskier wakes from a vivid, nasty dream to physical evidence that it was unfortunately very real. He spirals, but like, only a little bit. It mostly involves getting drunk and buying hats to cope.
Warnings: Mentions of bodily injury/torture, maybe PTSD, heavy drinking
[Will be throwing starters (including open ones) down below! You can hit me up at
no subject
He snorts at it sucks. A colloquialism, apparently, but he understands it.]
My, have I ever told you that you have a way with words?
[It sucks and like a boil certainly describe how he feels right now. However, this one has been festering for over a year. Grown overnight.
It is impossible to truly explain. Even to her, even if she's experienced something similar. He can't even explain it to himself. Days later, he's still attempting to make sense of it all. But there's no need to try. The impossible happens, on occasion.
He refills his glass. Getting drunker, surprisingly, hasn't helped.] Carp? Why do you feel like carp? Oh. Crap. Well, whatever that is. Has something happened to you as well?
no subject
[It's said lightly, though. Jaskier doesn't need to hear about her worries and woes, certainly not right now. So much of it is things she doesn't want to share, anyhow.
But she can understand someone in the depths of darkness grasping for something else to talk about. It's half the reason she offered to talk to him about things. She takes her own drink back up and has a few swallows before continuing.]
Uh...I did recently lose someone that was important to me. That hit a little hard. And Julie's still pissed off at me enough she's not talking to me. Oh, and I discovered I can do at least one magic thing that my husband could do that I sure couldn't before, and sure isn't local magic. But you still win the 'Who's Got It Worse' championship.
[And at least it feels a little good to just get it all out there. Particularly the last bit. She hasn't talked about that with anyone, or even told them. He's shared his misery with her, or at least an overview. It's only fair to do the same.]
no subject
Unfortunately, he's realizing hearing things have also been hard for Nadine as of late isn't helping. In fact, somehow, he feels a little worse. Fuck. He should've just gone to kiss her or something. Surely that would have been easier.]
I'm sorry to hear it, Nadine. [Lost could mean anything, but his guess is she does not necessarily mean dead, otherwise he imagines she would be worse off. Or is this worse off? Hard to tell. They don't know much of each other yet, to be fair.
Julie being pissed doesn't seem that surprising, though, after he heard what happened. And she's... well. Like him, she doesn't really have a cap on her emotions.
Thus, depression tavern.]
Oh? You gained some new magic? [That. That's a thing he can focus on. It has nothing to do with him, or the Continent, which makes it absolutely brilliant. It needn't even be about her husband. Perhaps it's something like his plants -- osmething that came from nowhere. A magic gift, so to speak.] What is it?
no subject
[Nadine shakes her head with a small sigh.]
When you've spent your life losing everybody who ever mattered, you sort of just expect it.
[If she could lose Flagg, no one and nothing is safe or sacred. That lynchpin had always been there, a constant and permanent fixture holding her life and fate together. The one thing she could never lose. It would be like losing the stars or the moon.
But she had, and that had been the start of this decline. Now...now everything's starting to seem pointless.]
And I don't think I want to talk about that, Jaskier. At least with Thornean magic there's books, there's local mages who can teach me. Randall's magic? I don't know anything about it, other than he warned me it comes with a steep price. Which was fine, when he was here and could teach me, God knows what I'd already paid and sacrificed to be with him. Now...
[Another shake of her head, and she downs the rest of her ale. So much for distraction and feeling better for a little while. At least misery shared is a little better than misery suffered alone.]
But I can...change myself, now.
no subject
Like most people, he thinks. It's only --
It feels more unfair, the losses he hears of. The ones he watches.
He sets his mug aside, fiddling with his fingers as he listens. He sees the loss that men share. And he understands how love and hate can often occupy the same spheres. In Nadine's case, he doesn't think hate exists at all. What had he told her? It feels like years ago now. You aren't the only one who's loved a monster.
He wonders why it is she thinks it must be his magic -- but then again, it's not as if he knows much about demons or magic men.
Jaskier looks back. Raises his brows. She doesn't want to talk about it, but talks about it, anyway. (What a stark picture of himself reflected.)] You needn't speak to me about anything you don't want to, I promise.
[Once, he may have pushed for the story. The story was always the goal. But Nadine, whether she meant to or not, has a place in his heart, and the last thing he wants is for her to find disinterest or discomfort in his company. (Though he's rather sure he's shot the idea he's dependable fun now.)
So he bites his tongue. He leaves it there. No but what do you change into? Can you show me?]
I hope it isn't anything that... hurts. This magic.
no subject
[Who would she talk to? No, it's always been easiest just to keep it to herself, until that became an ingrained pattern. No one cares, no one wants to listen to the private sufferings of Nadine Cross. Except maybe Jaskier does.
And it's better that he didn't ask, asking is a quick way for her to shut down and change topics.]
And no, no it doesn't hurt, exactly. Not physically. It feels...weird. I think. It happened kind of fast, I wasn't expecting it. Honestly it was...it was like a defense mechanism that kicked in - I got startled, badly. And suddenly everything went blurry and my body felt wrong and then I wasn't even human shaped anymore. And TV had it all wrong, your clothes don't change with you.
[Alright, so maybe she's not focusing on the parts it would be helpful to talk about, but...there's a lightness, in the specific incident. Looking back, it's a little bit ridiculous, honestly.
Though she should probably explain, if only to give Jaskier a clearer picture. Maybe the whole thing will cheer him up some. Take away all her fears and concerns over what it means for her and future, and it is something of a silly story.]
I...I changed into a wolf. An actual wolf. I changed right back - and again, clothes do not change with you - but it happened. Right on the street. I can't even begin to recreate the noise I made when I realized....
no subject
His legs swing a little while he listens, allowing the Horizon to sober himself up. A little. A tad. Enough that he can follow the conversation, as it feels important already.
Oh. Ah. That -- well, shit. That was not what he expected. (He doesn't know what "TV" is, but it doesn't seem important.)]
You're -- you're some sort of werewolf now? Fuck me. That would be a surprise out of the blue.
[But there is a glow to his eye now, life in his gaze. She can become a wolf? That's. That's absolutely fascinating. Like Alucard, he imagines, but Alucard implied it was simply innate. A skill that comes with being a dhamphir. As far as he knows, though Nadine is tied tightly to this Randall, she still remains human herself.]
I'm sorry, it must have been rather horrifying the first time. To not know what was happening. [He covers her hand with his own.] But wolves are noble, beautiful creatures. Except... when they try to eat you during the winter, but it's only fair when they're going hungry. I think it suits you well. I mean... as much as our magics suit us, I suppose.
[It's certainly more fantastic than growing blackberries and making birds.] And this was in Nott? Were you all right after?
no subject
[Nadine shakes her head and barks out a little laugh. Werewolf...he really does take a little bit of information and runs with it.]
I can just turn into a wolf. Randall could do it, too. It's by choice, not...all that stuff that goes along with werewolves.
[It had only happened involuntarily because she was frightened. An instinct she didn't realize she had kicking in. She's...not sure about the rest of what Jaskier's saying, and whether or not all those attributes are applicable in this case. Mythology around wolves is varied, and some of it is particularly unflattering.]
It happened over the Dimming. I was fine, only one person saw me and it's someone I know. I haven't done it again since. I'll...figure it out at some point.
[There are too many other things she needs to figure out, a vaguely alarming new ability is pretty low on her list of priorities.]
no subject
Oh. If the magic man could do it. Huh. Is it... contagious? Well. She did say she was turning into something like him.
His mind spins between what she's told him, elaborated on, and what she hasn't. The differences between their spheres. It's a lot for someone who's still rather drunk.]
Ah. They did warn us during the Dimming that magic would not be the same as it was usually. [He relaxes a little. At least it hadn't frightened anyone else, either. He knew what that kind of scare could lead to. Angry mobs. Pitchforks. Perhaps it's different in Nott than it was in Cadens, though.]
I'm glad it worked out, at any rate. [He rubs his fingers together. Gods, he really wants to see. To be honest.] Something similar happened when I found out I could control plants. I was... I was taking a bath, and I had a -- a stressful thought, you might say, and the entire tub sort of. Exploded into flowers.
[It was a little embarrassing, but when he thinks of it now, it does bring a smile to his face.] Saying it, it's nothing like turning into a bloody wolf, is it?
no subject
[Spontaneously developing new powers doesn't seem in line with the rest of the Dimming, but what does she know? Maybe it does have something to do with all of that, or something else entirely. Hell, maybe she's been able to do it since she came here but that was the only time it kicked in.
She listens to Jaskier describe his own experience with unknown magic, picturing what he describes, and chuckles a little. It's fascinating, all the different abilities they're developing. It must be caused by the Singularity, but...everything she's heard so far has been something unique to the individual. What determined what ability was given?
Something to think about later, with a clearer mind.]
I don't know, I think I'd like to be able to magically fill my bath with flowers. And who knows what else you could do with plants? No, it's not turning into an animal or anything, but...I think it's neat. And you never have to buy anyone flowers ever again. I get to start worrying about fleas.
[At least Jaskier's mood does seem to be lifting a little. She looks at him, considering. She knows he's a curious man. And that he needs a distraction as badly as she does.]
You want to see me do it, don't you?
no subject
And she'd come here for it again, only to find him... moping. And talking of flowers.]
So far it's been growing herbs and selling them. And I made a cactus for a friend to live in. He, er, also turns into a wolf. Funny enough, that's something he always could do. Also not a werewolf.
[He still insists it's a bit of a pedantic argument, but. Gods, explaining Alucard sounds really odd out loud. There really is no explaining him. Was he supposed to keep that secret, anyway? Well, he won't mention his name.
Jaskier takes a drink, snorts, and then sputters a moment. He wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve.]
Oh, gods, please. I want to. Terribly.
[It's. It's a miraculous magic, all right, and whether he has Alucard as a friend who can do something similar, it isn't the same. He wants to see all of it. This, among few things, is something that can truly spark his energy. Besides, Nadine is nothing like Alucard, and, er, mostly human, so he cannot imagine it happens the same way.] Is that all right? Only the once?
no subject
And he seems really excited about the wolf thing. That's the most alive he's seemed since she walked into this strange tavern. Well...it's the Horizon. It's different here. It isn't as though she could get stuck that way. Hell, maybe it's the safest way to practice.]
Alright. For you.
[She does hate to see him so sad and deflated. She can do this for him. Slipping off the bar, she stands a couple of feet in front of him.]
You're lucky I like you as much as I do.
[Which is something else she'll come back to later, on her own. Arguably she hardly knows him, despite having slept with him twice. But it doesn't feel that way, not really. Taking a deep breath, she takes off her jacket and kicks off her boots, before moving on to her sweater.]
It's all going to end up off anyway, it's just...easier this way.
no subject
I am quite lucky. I would have told you that whether you agreed or not.
[He was very lucky indeed. Lucky that Julie had found him a suitable recommendation. Lucky that Nadine did like him, as was evident from their multiple trysts. Her trusting him in the most intimate of positions. He liked her easily, despite her warnings. Effortlessly.
The domain shifts a table closer to her for her clothes, folding the jacket up neatly once she places it down.]
Right. You said something about them ripping? [He closes his eyes, sitting back on his hands. Her sleeping with him may not make being undressed under scrutiny any easier.] Worry not. I still respect your modesty.
no subject
Jaskier, you've been inside of me more than once. There is no modesty between us at this point.
[There never really had been, honestly. But there's no mystery under her clothes, he's well familiar with the sight. Still. It's a rather sweet gesture, all the same. Just silly and pointless. With a little shake of her head, she continues undressing. It's all very practical and without any intention to entice, she just needs to get used to preparing to transform. Otherwise she's going to ruin what few clothes she has in the real world.
When she's finished, it's her turn to close her eyes. She tries to remember what it felt like, when it happened over the Dimming. It's not necessary, she's sure, this is the Horizon. But it's best to treat it as the real world, if it's going to count for practice.]
Okay...here we go.
[It comes back to her, the odd sensation right beforehand. Like something in the back of her brain squeezing a little. Then there's a disorienting sensation, and her form and figure blur in an unpleasant manner. A sort of darkness smudges around her as she changes, limbs twisting, bones reforming. A spell of nausea passes over her before she's viewing the world from a much lower angle once more.]
no subject
[Though, if she doesn't mind. He peeks out between a few fingers, then clears his throat and lowers his hands.
He was only being polite.
Okay. He watches. It isn't about nudity or the appeal of her body (which it still is, of course), but the waiting. The anticipation. Is it all at once, like Alucard? A slow transformation like a werewolf? (Yes, he gets it. She isn't one.)
It's a bit of both. He's not sure what he's looking at, for a moment, as her whole body sort of... blurs. It's uncomfortable to watch, honestly, but it's far from the strangest thing he's seen in his life.
He hops from the counter to his feet, stepping in front of... yes. A white wolf.
Shit. He forgot how big wolves really can get.]
You weren't kidding. [He sweeps a hand through his hair.] Not that I thought you were, of course, but -- look at you. You're beautiful. And. And a little terrifying, if I'm to be honest, but that's only because one time I was nearly eaten by wolves. Well. Wargs. They're sort of the same.
[That's not important. He lowers down to be on the same level as her, taking in all of that. Wolfishness. The big teeth. Not, of course, that he expects her to come all this way then, er, eat him.] You still feel all right? It looks rather... rough.
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She can only bob her head in a nod to Jaskier's question. Nadine supposes there's nothing stopping her from giving herself the ability of speech in the Horizon, but she won't have it in the real world. This form doesn't have the right vocal cords or mouth shape.
Her footing is unsteady and that's obvious as she tentatively tries to take a step, slender furry legs wobbling and threatening to slide out at all angles. Never mind that for now. She sits, instead, the strange new motions and shifting of muscles and limbs alien and strange. But it doesn't hurt. It just feels horribly wrong and quite right at the same time. She glances over her shoulder at her tail, experimentally trying to move it. It awkwardly thumps up and down and again she decides to not try that right now.
At least this is surely cutting down the intimidation factor wolves naturally carry with them. She may be a predatory animal, but obviously not a very good one yet. She looks back to Jaskier, head tipped to the side, wondering idly what sort of range of facial movements wolves have...]
no subject
Though "granted" may be too complimentary, given her unease about it.]
I'm sure there's a bit of a learning curve.
[But at least she isn't in pain. He can't help himself; he reaches out to brush his fingers in the fur under her head. Look. Wolves are adorable, as far as animals that can kill him quite easily go. Wolves and bears.] You know, it doesn't seem so bad now I think of it. Letting go of being human every now and then.
[The Horizon offers every possibility. But this is one he has yet to touch.] And if anyone ever gives you lip again, you can bite their hands off.
[That's mostly a joke.]
no subject
This is so strange. Learning curve indeed. She tries to think about how dogs move, and she can't quite seem to recall. It's not like she's ever spent much time just watching dogs move.
Also, this lack of speech is too much of a pain in the ass. She'll get used to that part later. A moment of thought and she thinks she has it sorted out.]
Okay, I can't do the not talking thing.
[And that's odd, too, because despite her mouth opening and closing, she's not exactly talking. But the words are coming out clear and she's in no mood to try and figure out the mechanics of Horizon shapeshifting.]
This is just...practice, and I don't feel like playing Clever Hans the Wonder Horse right now.
[She'll just do the talking animal thing, like something out of a children's movie. But Jaskier has a point. This ability is one that can be utilized for protection. Clearly, considering the circumstances of the first time she changed. Not that she's mastered it yet, but she'll figure it out. It's just like anything else.
And it doesn't seem quite so scary, this time.]
...the petting was nice, by the way.
no subject
Oh. That's new.
[No, she isn't really talking. But her jaws open (flashing sharp teeth) and he hears her voice as he knows it, intimately in some ways. Not like it's in his head, like a mage's, but simply as if it is crafting itself in the air. It feels much more natural that way, somehow.
And really. A wolf who can speak is far from one of the strangest things he's encountered. She looks far better than the hedgehog knight, for one. If one must be cursed to be an animal at all.
He smiles.] Ah. Liked that, did you? Should I give you a belly rub? [Is he... slowly slipping towards a baby voice? No. Absolutely not. His weakness is not soft, adorable animals, thank you. But he does pet over her chest again, stroking thick fur.
Abruptly, it makes him miss the wolf he'd once had here. In the Horizon. When he'd traveled alone, but... never been alone, really.] You feel just like him. The first time I came here, when I couldn't recall anything, there was a white wolf with me. For protection, I suppose. I've always been a bit fond of them, now I think of it.
[In no uncertain terms, white wolves have been a large part of his life. And apparently the pattern continues.]
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[Nadine shakes her head, marveling at how different it feels. The way her muscles move, the little bit of breeze on her ears from the motion. Nothing is where it ought to be, and it's going to take a while to get used to that.
Even the way Jaskier's hand moves through her fur. Even having fur!]
Really? It's funny, what our minds come up with when they're left on their own. Obviously there's some meaning for you there.
[It makes a sort of sense. Wolves have all kinds of connotations, and among them are mystic and protective ones. And obviously there are more direct comparisons, for Jaskier. Yeah. It makes sense. Strange, how things work out.
He does seem in a much better mood, though. That's something.]
Are there a lot of folk stories and fairy tales about wolves, where you come from? There's a whole bunch in mine.
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[If you ask him. She's a wolf, and talking, and he's still petting her, regardless. (But she's right. He isn't thinking of much else but the strange excitement in seeing such a bizarre transformation.
In the nostalgia found in the feel of fur.)]
Oh, yes. More than one can count. And there's about the same amount of stories meant to warn against them. Plenty of new mothers have lost their children to hungry wolves. They're particularly vicious if there's a warg around. [He sits on the ground, as easy as if it's natural to be on a dirty tavern floor. (His is rather clean, actually.)] I have a few songs of my own about them, too. I imagine any storyteller half his salt has at least one.
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[This evening has gone weird. Not bad, but definitely weird. It's fine, the desired end is being achieved. Nadine isn't thinking about how screwed up her life is, and Jaskier isn't drinking himself into a state of oblivion.]
That sounds about right. Most of the old fairy tales have wolves as the bad guy. If you believe those, wolves pretty much don't do anything aside from lay in wait for poor humans to savage and eat. Or sometimes dress up like grandmas.
[A laugh follows that. Little Red Riding Hood had never made much sense to Nadine - how could anyone think a wolf was a little old lady? But it gives her an idea - Jaskier does like stories.]
There's even a real story about a giant wolf that menaced a town for years. There were historic records and everything. The beast of Gevaudan. Some people claimed it was a monster and not a wolf at all, it just looked like one. They say it killed over a hundred people and no one knows if it was ever stopped or if it just went somewhere else to hunt.
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[You know what, it's no stranger than the fat, weird magic man. He's sort of just accepting the local tales from others at this point. None make more sense than others. Nothing says wolves can't dress like old women, he supposes.
He means to add on there are plenty of stories where wolves are noble. Mostly written by yours truly, of course, if only because his specialty is metaphors that are a bit too on the nose.
However, her story intrigues him -- this one, at least, not the grandmother one.] A giant wolf, you say...
[Is he contemplating it? Yes. A little. What better would protect his tavern? (Not that he has anything to fear. Here. In the Horizon.) And he does miss the wolf that had once traveled with him.
Besides, her story hits a rather poignant note. Wolves bringing about destruction and death? Killing loads of people? Ah, he's never heard that before.] Mm. I wonder. People say plenty of things about the things they fear. Beasts and people alike. Besides, outside of the very mangy and desperate wolves, I find it hard to fear any beast with such soft paws.
[He's gotta squish a bean. At least one.]
no subject
[In part for the reason Jaskier just alluded to - wolves were dangerous, but not exactly in the habit of randomly attacking people and not eating them. Not unless they were starving and desperate. And then they actually ate what they went after.
Lacking hands, Nadine butts her head gently against his arm, starting to settle into this shape. How it moves, what muscles do what. It's beginning to feel more comfortable.
Of course Jaskier's helping with that, also.]
And some say the Beast wasn't even a natural animal, and it still lurks in the dark woods of France, waiting for innocent young maidens to wander by...