cointosser: ([120 - S2])
Jaskier "old-timey fuckboy" Alfred Pankratz ([personal profile] cointosser) wrote in [community profile] abraxaslogs2022-01-17 02:29 pm

[ OPEN/SOME CLOSED ] if I had to do it over, I'd do it all again

Who: Jaskier, Ciri, Geralt, Yennefer, Alucard, and some open prompts
When: Mid-to-Late January
Where: Cadens and the Horizon
What: Jaskier wakes from a vivid, nasty dream to physical evidence that it was unfortunately very real. He spirals, but like, only a little bit. It mostly involves getting drunk and buying hats to cope.
Warnings: Mentions of bodily injury/torture, maybe PTSD, heavy drinking



[Will be throwing starters (including open ones) down below! You can hit me up at [plurk.com profile] scathefire or #scathefire6612 if you'd like to plot anything or want an additional starter. Also, let me know if you'd like me to avoid S2 spoilers, because there will be a lot.]
gynvael: (182)

[personal profile] gynvael 2022-01-25 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Yeah. He does need him. Always has, he supposes. He'd told himself he did not, but perhaps he's learned that just because he does not need someone in his life to survive, day by day, it doesn't mean they aren't needed at all. That he doesn't need them in a different, more important way. And he can't tell if he learned it back home, from these sudden memories that now fill his head, or if he learned it here in this world after all they've been through—but the truth of it remains. ​]

Shut up. [ It's said softly, as he maneuvers Jaskier fully into bed. It's been a long night. A long few months. A long fucking year. Even if Jaskier can't sleep, laying down is better than nothing.

Geralt lays down, too, beside him. He props himself up on an elbow, and looks back at him. It takes him a moment to respond. Are they all right? How does one even determine what it means to be all right? Fuck, he isn't even certain if Jaskier means to ask if they are each of them all right—him, Ciri, even Yennefer—or if he means we, as in. Them. Maybe Jaskier means both. Maybe Jaskier isn't certain himself. Geralt thinks about it; decides none of it matters in the end. The answer is the same. ]


We still have one another.

[ Is that enough? It has to be. If not each other, then what else is there? The world offers little. He was taught that long ago. But sometimes the people in it can offer something more. ]
Edited 2022-01-25 19:07 (UTC)
gynvael: (191)

[personal profile] gynvael 2022-01-27 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Neither did you. [ It feels foolish to say, to tell Jaskier I didn't mean to leave you when he so obviously had. It's just...hard to explain. How it is to regret walking away, yet find it so difficult to turn back that you put it off and you put it off, and then eventually you tell yourself it's too late. They must've moved on by now. How could they not?

But he did come back. He thinks much of that was to do with Ciri. The realization that maybe it's only ever too late to turn to someone if you allow it to be so. (He wishes Yennefer would realize that, too. That if she would only come to him, if she'd come to him then before she'd—)

His lips curl. Is that what happened? Truth be told, he hadn't been paying attention at the time, Ciri's reaction to Jaskier or the dwarves. His focus had been on...Yennefer. He pushes it aside. He'd told Ciri that he would speak to her first before settling on what he wanted to do. He means to hold to that. He can think about how he feels afterwards.

He hums. There is fondness underneath. ]
Don't take it personally. She still only barely tolerates Sam.

[ Slow to warm. (Like him.) But it means something, when she does finally trust someone, and she trusts Jaskier. He knows that. ]
gynvael: (141)

[personal profile] gynvael 2022-01-30 03:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He can tell Jaskier is considering, doubting. Geralt lets it be; lets Jaskier work things out as he will, on his own terms. It's not so much that he assumes anything of his friend. It's only that how Jaskier feels about him will not change what he means to Geralt.

His expression softens. Jaskier says it so easily. Your daughter. As though he were waiting for Geralt to finally accept the truth of it before he spoke it out loud. He supposes he accepted awhile ago, before this, but it's always been tinted with a certain hesitation. He never knew her as a child. He'd never have those memories of training her, watching her flourish. Or so he believed.

It's different now. To actually remember that time with her. The moments when she'd turn to him because he was the only one she trusted when she was afraid. Maybe it isn't fair. Maybe it isn't fair to lay here with Jaskier who can hardly cope with his memories and think I wouldn't give mine up for the world. He wasn't lying, when he told Jaskier it felt like shit. It does. There is grief that curls tightly in his chest. But that's been true of nearly everything in his life. He can't recall a time when he was not burying one hurt or another, trying to move on yet again. This is the first it feels...not so hollow. Like—there's something bright which remains after all he's lost.

He takes a deep breath. His hand settles on Jaskier's arm. ]
She cares about you. [ Especially with so much of Yennefer in doubt—they've only had each other here in Cadens. This hasn't changed that. ] And I know she's in good hands with you.

[ He has few he can trust. But Jaskier—he's never doubted Jaskier. Not once. ]
Edited 2022-01-30 15:33 (UTC)
gynvael: (231)

[personal profile] gynvael 2022-02-02 07:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ His nose wrinkles. ] I know.

[ He sighs. Fuck, he's exhausted. When was the last time he truly rested? Maybe once, that brief outing he'd had with Jaskier and Ciri. Or...when he'd slept next to Yennefer, in the Horizon, nose buried in her hair. A small handful of times.

Feels like it's been years. Decades. The memories tumble in his head, expanding, contracting. Taking place over months and in a matter of hours all at the same time. Jaskier looks older, too. Aged a year or two overnight, hasn't he? Not physically, but—something deeper. Bone-deep. He supposes it only makes sense. And though it's hardly the first time he and Jaskier have shared a bed, Geralt moves in closer now. Slides a hand down his arm. ]


Goodnight, Jaskier.