abraxaslogs | ( closed ) the pigeon guys

[This is all very silly, of course. Sentimental or not, the way this man is going on about it seems excessive. He can sympathize, at least a little, but he'd be lying if he said his inclination to help did not involve some desire to connect with one of the more famous inventors in the city--and a government official, to boot.

Besides, Viktor likes solving problems, and this is an interesting problem, even if it's all a little ridiculous. He spends a little time analyzing the situation (the bird, flying around the city and finally coming to rest atop a building that overlooks a square, the cat in slow, steady pursuit), and deduces the best course of action. When he arrives at the scene, he's prepared, dragging along two contraptions that, while cobbled together fairly quickly, have his full confidence. He's not going to be chasing the pigeon across rooftops, but he can devise a containment strategy.]

This one's for the bird. [He holds it up in his free hand, some kind of net-like structure with a spring mechanism. The other he's set on the ground, and that one is more cage-like. Viktor nudges it with his boot. Traps!!!] For the cat.

[It seemed best to take a two-pronged approach--if they can eliminate one complicating factor, good.]

[Jaskier is here because of obvious reasons. He knows what the loss of a man's muse can do to him. Sometimes it can provide him new, fascinating avenues of inspiration. Sometimes it drives one to write and perform burns songs for a year. Or two.

No personal experience in this endeavor, of course. Jaskier is simply lucky his muse (or, should he say, one of many) happens to be a large, unwieldy man who's difficult to lose. Who also doesn't fly.

To be particularly helpful, Jaskier has shown up with a pair of pigeons on his shoulders, as if he needed a little practice in crafting the bird with magic. (He may be planning some slightly nefarious answers to this quest should it turn out poorly. Namely, making the man... a new muse.)]

Far be it from me to question anyone's scientific method, [As if this has ever stopped him,] but how do you propose you get the traps onto the roof? I don't suppose any of us have learned to fly, have we?

[He should have brought Mog. He's fairly sure the gryphon would eat a cat, given half the chance, and then one of their problems would be solved.]

[As far as the actual pigeon chasing and/or catching is concerned, Viktor has decided that part is not his problem. He's done what he's best at--create a tool to make the job easier, and now it's up to the people who can actually climb buildings to climb the building and set up the net and lure the bird into it and also deal with the cat. Otherwise he considers most of this out of his hands.

That does not mean he won't be offering recommendations (and heckling, when appropriate). He gets the idea behind the additional pigeons, but that seems unnecessarily complicated, and he gestures vaguely at Jaskier.]

You can climb, can't you? Or, Geralt can.

[Geralt hunts monsters! Surely he can do a little casual trespassing. No big deal. Viktor would most certainly trespass absolutely everywhere if given the opportunity, and maybe he is a little jealous that someone else gets to climb a building.]

These will work best if we bait them with food and leave them on the roof. If we disturb the bird, it will just fly off again.

Climb? A building? In these boots?

[He indicates his boots, which, while leather and with a bit of a heel, don't really indicate why they could not, in fact, climb. Of course, reasonable people are assuming stairs will lead to the roof. Unfortunately, Jaskier does not often visit buildings that even need stairs. Upward. Unless it was, like, an intimidating tower or a dungeon of a castle somewhere.

Geralt, though. That's it.]

You're right. In fact, he can climb very well. I assume. [Roofs may prove to be a challenge, but to be fair, Jaskier believes Geralt owes the sight of him struggling on a roof to Jaskier after leaving him on a mountain. Not that he isn't. Past that.] Oh, I've got a spot of bread on me.

[He produces a roll out of his pocket. No, this is far from the first time he's had bread in his pants. In fact, one may call it a habit. It happens when one's gone hungry a few times. And also been trapped in a cell with terrible gruel.] I suppose that's good enough. Is that it? Just... leave them open?

You can...go as high as you can inside the building? Maybe there's roof access?

[But if Geralt wants to literally scale the side of the building, well. That's his business. All of this seems obvious to Viktor, who is now having second thoughts about the whole operation. As far as he's concerned, he's held up his part of the deal, but now it seems like he should really be providing some additional instruction.

Also now Jaskier is producing mystery bread out of his pockets. Viktor isn't about to judge anyone for, like, carrying snacks around, but compounded with everything else about this interaction, he is starting to get a little exhausted.]

I'm not sure how enticing that will be for the cat, but-- [JASKIER DO NOT PRODUCE CAT FOOD FROM YOUR POCKETS] --you know what? Good enough.

[Viktor crouches with some effort, waving for Jaskier to get closer so he can see how the mechanism of the net trap locks in place. He presses a finger to the trigger pad, holding the cage open so that it doesn't close on his hand.] When the animal steps on this, it closes the trap. Simple.

Edited 2022-03-17 15:32 (UTC)

[Jaskier gives him a look as if to indicate that between the two of them, Viktor may very well be the stupid one.] It's for the bird. Gods, have you ever met a bird before? They eat bread. Here I was thinking the priority was the bird, not the cat.

[Actually, why are they even working to catch the cat? Maybe someone else lost that. He doesn't see why they don't simply throw Geralt at it and hope for the best.

Despite Jaskier's complaints, he still is attentive to watch how the traps work. Usually they use a rope, perhaps a stick propping a rock up. This is a bit more mechanical, but he's right. Simple enough.] So put a bit of bait on this? Even Geralt should be able to manage it. Uh... the other one, I'm not really sure. He looks, you know.

[Well, sort of normal besides the eyes, but a bit tight-lipped. Hard to say why he's even here. Jaskier looks forward to watching him stumble around a roof.]

I-- [Viktor opens his mouth, as if he is going to say something possibly unkind.] Nevermind.

[What matters is that he's given a primer as to how the traps work, and the rest of it is mostly out of his hands. He'd certainly be up on the roof if he were able (and he's actually starting to think that maybe he should get up on the roof), but for now he'll just have to trust that Geralt and Sephiroth know what they're doing, when it comes to trap setting and cat wrangling.]

We've met. He's fine. I don't see why any of this should be a problem for either of them.

Edited 2022-03-18 18:22 (UTC)

Oh, no, of course not. With an expert monster hunter and a... well, whatever Sephiroth is, I'm sure this is going to go swimmingly.

[There could be a hint of sarcasm in that, but honestly, so far, nothing's gone wrong. He picks up both traps and takes them to Geralt, giving him a quick run-down of their method of operation (i.e., get bird inside to press platform, receive trapped bird) and the bread he's retrieved from his pockets as bait.

Then he returns to Viktor's side, ready to watch the proceedings with amusement. Mostly because he knows Geralt's involvement in this is purely his own fault.

Jaskier regrets nothing.

Perhaps to Viktor's dismay, he pulls out a carefully folded napkin of blackberries, holding them out in offering after he's plucked up some to feed to the pigeons at his shoulders.] Care for a bite? I grew them myself.

[Soon, the rumors that spread through Cadens about Jaskier may be deeming him the pigeon man, no longer the lute man.]

He's military, I think.

[They had talked about that, right? Surely a highly-trained soldier will be able to catch a pigeon, especially working alongside an expert monster hunter. The relative experience level of their "teammates", however, is not necessarily his concern. It's just a bird! How hard can this be, especially when he has so graciously provided everyone with technological aids.

Oh. There's fruit now. Viktor looks a little bewildered, like he's not at all accustomed to people offering him napkins full of blackberries, and he hesitates for a moment before he reaches over and takes exactly two. To be polite. Still, he can't really tear his attention away from what's about to transpire on the roof.]

Should we be doing anything else? To help?

[A military what, is the additional question, considering that could mean anything from a knight to a stableboy. Granted, he looks like neither. Actually, from down here, he looks sort of like Geralt. Annoyed. Not belonging on a rooftop. Perhaps even a bit perplexed.

Jaskier tosses a few berries in his mouth, his free hand going to his hip as he chews.]

Hmm. [He stares up at the two men now they've made it onto the roof, talking to each other (with confusion? Brotherly companionship? An age-old bond between old, ornery folk?). The trap is being laid out, at least, so one thing is going right. Surely these traps will be their final solution to the problem of a loose pigeon and... a cat? (What are they going to do with the cat?)]

Nah. I think they've got it handled. Besides, this is brilliant to watch.

[Two big, burly guys trying to catch a little, delicate bird? Absolutely shitshow, but in the best way.]

[A military what, indeed. His first meeting with Sephiroth hadn't been on the best of terms--sure, the conversation was civil, but they'd both just arrived to the barracks and Viktor himself had been in sort of a Mood. Still, he remembers the understanding that the barracks would have been familiar to the other man, so he's fairly confident in saying that they have some kind of soldier on their hands.

And Geralt seems to know what he's doing. Pigeons. Monsters. What's the difference, really?

Viktor shades his eyes with his free hand, squinting up at the scene playing out.]

Someone is going to fall off the roof.

[Ugh, and then he'll be accessory to manslaughter, or something, because he's one of two parties who made them go up there in the first place.]

[Jaskier tilts his head, staring up at them.]

Er. Yes, probably. But Geralt can survive it rather handily, I imagine. And considering Sephiroth didn't hold up any argument about going up there...

[Point made. That's why the two of them are the smart ones: solidly on the ground. Not doing much of the work. Yes, Viktor did more work than him in making the cages. That wasn't the point. Jaskier was the back-up plan, which was as important as the in-action plan.]

Well, we can pretend we don't know him if he does.

[And right at that moment is when Sephiroth decides the best way to deal with the cat is simply to pick it up. Jaskier can hear it spitting from here. He is beginning to have a couple of reservations about the relatively mysterious member of their team now.]

[ He does not want to talk about how he ended up in this position.

It is not the promised reward. He hasn't got any idea what the reward is. (Another voucher for a singular gold coin, probably.) He does not give a shit about this man and his muse. Most likely, it's a good thing Geralt was not personally tasked with this job because he'd have just told the man to pick a new fucking bird off the street and left.

He doesn't want to talk about it, but he is here. Up on the roof of the museum, where he's fairly certain Alucard frequents on occasion. Hopefully, Alucard is residing in his desert cactus at the moment because Geralt has no desire to explain himself. The truth is, he's not made to stalk through a crowded city in search of one of the most common birds. He does not have tracks, beyond the hundreds of bird feet in the dusty ground. Cadens constantly smells like pigeon in every direction. The streets are crammed with people getting in his way. Geralt will not say he feels inadequate because he is not. He's an extremely good tracker. He's one of the best. This is just—

—Oh. A cat. That's what he needs. Geralt stops short. The cat turns to him as if honed in on the presence of a Witcher. It gives a strangled hiss in his direction.

He sighs. He gestures at the cat, the bird, as if to indicate to Sephiroth: This one's yours. Cats don't like him. Nothing he can do about it. If he comes any closer, it's liable to scream and launch itself off the roof and then they'll have to chase this bird again. ]

[His reasoning for being here is far more mundane: find a means to feel useful in his downtime, beating back idleness as if it’ll usher in an acute sense of boredom next if he doesn’t. Granted, pigeon-catching would be a job well below his pay grade if this were Gaia; but as reality has proven to him time and time again, this is not his planet, and he should lower his expectations accordingly.

It could be worse. Standing on the lip of a museum’s rooftop holding traps in his hands, with one man aiding him, the other two below, one of them armed with… more birds, he can think of more ridiculous positions to be in.

Just not at the moment.]

…

[Sephiroth’s numerous bouts of silence are not necessarily helpful, but they are, at least, full of consideration. Just exactly how this is supposed to work, with their target liable to fly off at a moment’s notice? Making this same effort ad nauseam does not settle well with him.

He decides that either way, it doesn’t matter. The first step is unchanging: get rid of the cat.]

What did you do to offend it?

[The cat is hissing like a snake in the other’s direction, merely by way of the man existing. Back arched, tail puffed up, it’s the least approachable thing on this roof, which says a lot in the company of the two ashen-haired individuals.

Sephiroth hands him the traps without preamble.]

Can you set these up?

Edited 2022-03-16 19:25 (UTC)

[ The traps have been passed back and forth between them as they climbed and traversed the rooftops. Geralt has his doubts. He's been told how they work, but he's a man who uses the simplest of bait traps, if that. This has one or two additional components that appear a bit cobbled together. Still, he is not hunting the bird to eat it, which significantly alters how he normally operates. Because he could, in theory, take out the bird from here with a well-aimed knife before the cat can even react. It would also, in theory, result in the death of a beloved pet bird.

So traps it is.

He ignores the question about the cat. He'll explain afterwards, if the man truly wants to know. In the meantime, all that matters is that the cat sees him as a threat, hackles raised and pupils narrowed to slits. ]

Just keep the damn bird grounded. [ He has made an effort, since...the mountain, to not blame Jaskier for things that are not strictly Jaskier's fault. Having said that—

This is entirely Jaskier's fucking fault.

(It had to be a bird. The one creature prone to flying off before he can get close enough to cast a well-placed Axii.)

He inches along the roof. Places the cage-like trap on the ground, where he thinks the cat will run towards should it be startled. He tucks the mechanism into place. The cage makes a suspicious creak, and the pigeon flaps its wings. Geralt stops with his hand hovering. Then he looks over the edge of the roof. Down below are the two sources of his current predicament. He should've asked for a sleep powder. He would have if he'd had the chance instead of having these contraptions pushed into his hands without explanation. ]

[Keep the bird grounded, he’s told, as though the task would be easy. Sephiroth may be SOLDIER, but he is bound by the laws of physics as they all are. Should he make a grand flying leap at the pigeon flying off, catching it would mean gravity pummeling him downwards into the square if taken at the wrong angle — or worse (or better, depending upon perspective) the two men waiting for their success below. Nicola would be lucky to not be a splatter of bird bones and feathers, in that case. Good luck explaining that one to her owner.

That, and there’s an angry cat to worry about, and no explanation as to why it’s gotten so agitated. He sets the notion aside for now. Sephiroth sidesteps at an angle, aiming to urge the feline towards the open cage if it does go running. The thing continues hissing at him, but continues standing in place, wary.

Out of the corner of his eye, the prized pigeon flaps its wings, but doesn’t fly off quite yet. He makes the executive decision to move closer and stoop down to grab the cat by its sides, lifting up the hell-raiser as it starts to yowl loudly. Nicola begins to fidget in earnest, head turning to glance at the ruckus.

Sephiroth holds it out at arms length.]

I can’t corral both.

[He can’t hold the cat, keep it from making noise, bring it to the cage without it startling the pigeon, keep the pigeon grounded and/or chase after it with a yelling creature already in one hand.]

Didn’t your friend bring extra birds as a distraction?

[ He's about to suggest luring the cat somehow when Sephiroth simply grabs it. Which is...not the solution Geralt was seeking, but it'll have to do. (This is why he hunts alone.) ]

Then drop it off the roof.

[ Not to the ground, obviously, although the dismissive way in which Geralt makes this statement could lead one to presume so. He means to the balcony below. It's a cat. It'll land. Hopefully be distracted by a different bird. Probably. He's never interacted with a cat before, but he's certainly witnessed several leaping off great heights to flee from him.

Either way, whether or not Sephiroth complies, Geralt is already squinting at the other trap he's been given. He's fairly certain he can see how the mechanisms function together. Hard to say. Also, Jaskier did promise...additional birds. He doesn't know where they are. Though that is a fair point. They could use them. Or it'll send everything further sideways. At this juncture, what have they left to lose?

Another deep sigh comes from his chest. Geralt looks over the side of the roof. Whether or not Jaskier makes eye contact with him, he is decidedly staring at Jaskier waiting below with narrowed eyes. ]

Where the fuck are your birds?

[Jaskier assumes a few traps, some bread, and the instructions relayed to Geralt by yours truly on how to use the traps should suffice. He puts his hands on his hips, looking up with his hand shading his eyes, to the top of the roof.

The words splash across the side of the museum.]

OI! I CAN HEAR YOU JUST FINE FROM DOWN HERE, YOU KNOW!

[No, he can't. But for courtesy's sake, and realizing a second too late that yelling more may perhaps scare the bird off, he sends a message back:]

They're perched on a lamp nearby, you lout. You can't expect them to hang around forever! What, do you need them? I'll send them up. If you're nice, they might even listen to you.

[As promised, two white pigeons with fluffy, feathered collars fly up towards the roof, circling once, then land together, as a unit, on Geralt's head. One begins to lift its tail in a rather dangerous manner.

Tempting. But Geralt may kill him.]

Edited 2022-03-18 08:10 (UTC)

[Meanwhile, with the exchange between Geralt and Jaskier happening in the background, Sephiroth turns to face the edge of the roof and peers over it.

He does not know much about cats. He knows about coeurls and their habits of lazing back while trying to blast a man's face off with magic. He has seen domesticated felines prowl the streets of Midgar at night, passing into shadow. But his personal experience is limited; still, he thinks Geralt did not mean dropping it onto the far street below.

So the balcony it is. He moves aside and plops the growling feline onto its railing below, watching as it lands easily and flicks its tail with annoyance. Though it is within leaping distance of the roof again, should it make a very creative climb upwards onto a jutting window trim nearby, he thinks that should be discouragement enough. The extra flapping of bird wings will surely not spark its interest a second time.

He looks over his shoulder to gauge Geralt's progress. How's it going over there?]

Edited (I saw a typo shhh) 2022-03-18 14:58 (UTC)

[ For fuck's sake.

Since they're Jaskier's birds and presumably tamed to a degree (ideally), Geralt reaches up to take one in each hand off his head, wrapped around their small bodies and pinning their wings to the side. At least now he knows why Jaskier had taken a day-long nap recently. He was crafting these damn birds.

He leans over the side further and releases one of the birds fluttering in the cat's direction. Is he using Jaskier's bird as bait? He is. The nature of having grown up in the wilds, hunting, is that it does not occur to Geralt that they're meant for anything else. When you have a predator you need to distract, you use small prey as bait. The other bird, he sets atop the trap with a bit of the bread Jaskier has handed him. The rest of the bread goes in the trap.

Geralt decides this is sufficient. They have the cat occupied, a decoy bird feeding atop the trap to provide a lull of safety, and the trap itself. Is that it? Are they finished here? He has a gryphon bed to finish building and a bottle of vodka.

Of course, it's possible the wrong bird may trigger the trap. Also possible there are other complications he's yet to foresee, because he was granted exactly thirty seconds to prepare for this job.

About this time, the pigeon he released towards the cat flutters back over the roof and lands neatly upon his head again. (He is going to kill Jaskier and the trap maker.) ]

[Sephiroth, believing the cat to be a non-issue despite Geralt’s attempts to keep it distracted with an excess pigeon, stares blankly as the bird practically loops back around to land on his head again, preening its feathers in an almost offended way.]

…What are you doing?

[This is no time for messing around. But at least the traps are set, bread and (other) pigeon strategically placed. Now that the feline is out of sight, Nicola seems to take interest in her fellow birds, turning around on her perch to face not the trap, but Geralt.

The cat, unbeknownst to the men on the roof (but probably not the ones below), starts clambering back up, its irritation slowly replaced with newfound curiosity.]

[ Geralt possesses a variety of looks. Sephiroth is met with yet another one of them in return for his question. What is he doing? He's setting this damn trap and he's a bird on his head again, which he'll put up with. It's Jaskier's bird; the magic will fade in time. It's not long for this world.

Between the noise of the city and his focus on not disturbing the pigeon (the real one), Geralt notices the cat not at all.

He perches on the ledge instead. The bird flaps off his head and lands neatly atop Sephiroth's. Its wings flutter. His lips curl despite himself. ]

I'd say we're done here. [ Please say they're done here. He doesn't even want to catch this pigeon. This is not helpful for garnering him more lucrative contracts. He wishes for no one to have any knowledge of his involvement. He is laying a pigeon trap, at Jaskier's behest, because he was assured all he needed to do was take it to the roof. He's done his job. ]

Edited 2022-03-21 20:19 (UTC)

[His pride hinges on very specific things, and is rarely bruised because of mundane inanity like bird-catching. But one landing on his head, shaking out its feathers as if to get comfortable, with Geralt sending a wry grin his way? Just let this end now — at least they share the sentiment of wanting to be over and done with this task. They can commiserate over that later. Or just pretend it never happened.

He reaches up to nudge the bird off his head with the side of his hand, dimly annoyed.]

Good.

[The pigeon flutters off. As planned, it swoops over the cat’s head, who had made its way to the roof again. The feline stops, eyes wide, and tries to swipe at it with its paw. Distraction achieved, one way or another.

Sephiroth turns step closer to the edge of the roof.]

Then we’ll wait along with the others.

[Eager to detach himself from cats, traps, and too many birds, he opts for the fastest route to meet the other two men below. He hops off the ledge and lets gravity carry him downwards. The landing’s easy enough for a SOLDIER, and it’s only a museum, not a skyscraper. He’s sure Geralt won’t take long to catch up with them.]

[ The cat gives one last hiss in his direction before it both flees and chases after its new prey.

Geralt made it to the roof using the stairs, in an effort to avoid attention. He's no desire to be known as the man climbing the side of a museum in pursuit of a bird. He does the same now, letting Sephiroth take the drop as he will. Since they are finished, he makes no effort to hurry. He exits out the back entrance, sidesteps a man sleeping in the alley, and circles around to find the idiots who inflicted the events of this day upon him.

(Tempting, to go home from here and leave them to their own devices. But no matter how absurd or unwelcome a job, once Geralt has committed, then he's committed. He does not abandon his work. He'll see it through.)

Jaskier is not difficult to locate, even if the bard were not where he left him. Geralt has long learned to pick his scent and heartbeat out of a crowd. He can also spy Sephiroth's impractically long flowing locks from a mile away. And while normally he'd care not at all to announce himself, he's aware Jaskier is not keen on being startled these days, for good reason. He arrives in Jaskier's line in sight—though he holds no such consideration for Viktor, who may or may not notice him before he sees a hand reaching over without comment to take a berry from his friend.

He's owed fruit. And several drinks. ]

Hey! I didn't lend you those for bait!

[Jaskier shouts right as Sephiroth decides to -- oh, there he goes. He's just hopping right off the bloody roof and it's fine. See? Viktor had no reason to worry --

Wait. He sort of did send the birds up there for bait. But not for the cat. Which he finds very rude, actually. Still, he doesn't dissipate the magic birds quite yet, if only to retain the distraction. If they don't capture this bloody pigeon, this will be very humiliating for -- well, at least for Geralt.

Who appears quite in time, and though Jaskier's not quite aware he's made himself visible on purpose, he's happy enough to see him now. He doesn't even bat an eye at Geralt taking a blackberry.

He brought them for everyone. Technically.] Was I the only one unaware our new military friend could simply, I don't know, take a fall from a few stories high? Is that a normal thing? That feels not normal.

[But maybe everyone is a quarter human or whatever. It seems to happen more often than not.]

[Oh, okay. He'd been so worried about someone falling off the roof, he hadn't bothered to account for the fact that Sephiroth can just. Do that, apparently. Viktor is too busy gawking at this to even notice Geralt, and when he appears alongside them he almost jumps.

He is almost afraid to ask the next question.]

Did you have any trouble?

[With the traps, obviously. Viktor is still sort of squinting up at the museum roof, trying to see what the hell is going on up there between the real bird, the fake birds, and the cat. Hm.]

It’s normal for me.

[He approaches at the tail end of Jasker’s questioning, just a little before Geralt’s arrival, but Sephiroth doesn’t look very inclined to expound upon the reasoning more than that. Instead, he settles himself adjacent to the group, turning to face the museum and crossing his arms, tilting his head to look upwards.

Not much to do but wait. From this angle, they can’t even see how close to success they are. Or failure, for that matter. Though he supposes not seeing Nicola fly off into the wild blue yonder is a good sign, for now.]

Geralt upset the cat. But I think we managed to distract it with the extra birds.

[How’s that for a mission report, Viktor.]

[ Trouble. Geralt is debating if it's even worth answering when Sephiroth takes it upon himself to do so. He did not upset the cat. Or. He did, but it can't be helped. ]

They don't like me.

[ Is that a sufficient explanation? It'll have to be, because that's all anyone is getting as to why a common street cat proved to be so much hassle. He leans against the bench Jaskier is sitting on. While everyone else is peering up at the roof, Geralt is not watching at all. He's certain he'll hear it, when the squawking and flapping occurs should a bird be netted into the trap. He doesn't care which bird. Any bird. If it isn't the right pigeon, maybe he can take it home and feed it to Jaskier's new pet gryphon. Truthfully, that feels a more practical outcome to him than successfully capturing this man's runaway fowl.

Speaking of. ]

Did either of you even ask what we're promised for this little errand?

[ The answer's no, isn't it. ]

[Jaskier stares at Sephiroth.] What does that even me -- you know what, never mind. Yes, how did it go?

[He imagines the two of them would be a rather good team if they could find enough sparks in their minds together to use the traps effectively. Thought affectionately. Sephiroth is strange and brooding, but he's extremely attractive, which makes Jaskier think well enough of him. He may be staring a little.

Godsdammit. Hector really was spot on about that white-haired thing. Embarrassing, the more he thinks of it.

He blinks, stretching out his legs with a turn towards Geralt.] Geralt! What kind of fool do you take me for? [No.] It doesn't matter whether we asked him when we took the job. [When Jaskier took the job and roped other poor bastards into it, moved by a man who's lost his muse after Jaskier, too, has suffered from the loss of his muse (which was the muse's fault, by the way.)] What matters is the leverage we have in asking for our reward because we are now in possession of his very beloved bird. The man will give us anything we want!

[You know, within reason.

No, he never asked.]

[Really, Viktor hopped on board because he's interested in the guy who lost the pigeon. He's a famous inventor, with ties to the local government--why wouldn't he leverage an introduction, if possible? Well, lots of reasons. But when Jaskier roped him into this, he could see the immediate benefit, even if the task is more than a little ridiculous.]

Klingel is a useful contact, given my line of work.

[He shrugs, attention still on the roof. Geralt can take any and all material rewards, he supposes--that's not what he's really concerned about (money would be nice, though). Any further arguments with regards to the nature of this job and what Jaskier may or may not have agreed on leading up to it is cut short when he sees the trap go off far above them.]

Oh! Good. [A pause.] Someone's going to have to go back up there to get it.

[Except, there is still a bird fluttering around, startled by the sudden activation of the trap, and he can't tell if it's the bird they're supposed to be capturing, or one of Jaskier's, but either way it has its moment, then begins a staggered, fluttering descent. Oh no.]

[Would it be worth mentioning that Sephiroth, too, never asked? That it hadn't matter what the reward was, but only fending off the boredom that comes barrelling in uninvited from his abilities unused? He wonders. And perhaps unsurprisingly, says nothing.

Even if he had planned on remarking, his sentence would have been cut short by the sound and movement of a trap activating above; though he doesn't think that the sound of fluttering bird wings making a wheeling descent is part of the initial plan. Not if it's Nicola herself, who Sephiroth can identify by her huge mane-like crest of puffy feathers.

He thinks it'll be a rough landing, going at the speed she's chosen, but he's proven wrong before he can even shift his weight to catch her. Instead of crashing to the ground in a pile of feathers, Sephiroth watches as she sails past and lands directly on Viktor's head, as though that were always the intention.

That leaves the question of what exactly's been caught in the traps above, but no time for worrying about that now. Sephiroth reaches out to (gently) grab the bird in his hands, assuming Viktor doesn't manage it first.]

[ He doesn't know what else he was expecting from this lot. He sighs, letting it go. (You can make your contacts and cure boredom and also know how much coin you're earning.)

Though admittedly, it's the principle of the matter more than anything. He turned down Marlo's token gold once for, you know, getting kidnapped and tortured, and he's not certain he wants to touch anything out of her or her people's coffers given. The circumstances as a whole. In any case, it's not as though they're likely to catch the bird in the first—

Oh. Hm.

He looks between the roof and the bird that now sits within Sephiroth's cradled palms. There they fucking are. Bird achieved.

Geralt straightens up. It's clear he's about to make off before anyone realizes the actual bird has been caught while he's in the vicinity. It's the real one, and not one of Jaskier's replicated attempts—his medallion remains undisturbed. No magic. He can't say this was an expected outcome, but it'll do.

They can worry about the trap later. ]

Enjoy your mystery reward, men. [ He was never here. Do not force him to accompany you to deliver this bird, Jaskier. ]

[Viktor realizes exactly what is happening a second too late, but once it registers that he has a bird on his head he freezes, remaining as still as possible, deciding whether or not he dares to move and try and catch the thing, or if that will just cause it to fly off again. Luckily, Sephiroth makes the decision for him, and suddenly they have succeeded.

It is very difficult, not to look just a touch disappointed at all of this, and his eyebrows pinch together when he realizes that Geralt is totally about to book it.]

I want those back.

[He points, vaguely, up to the roof. He'll get them himself if he has to, but, well. He just watched Sephiroth jump off the building like it was nothing, so if anyone here makes him walk up all those stairs he will most certainly have his revenge.]

[All four of their heads direct up at the sound.

Ah. Well.

Jaskier puts his hands on his hips with a nod, as if congratulating himself on a job well done.] Very expertly done, my fellows. Clearly Nicola herself was impressed by our efforts.

[He whistles, and one of his replicated pigeons flutters down with a few feathers out of place, as if he'd gotten into a brawl with the cat. It lands on Jaskier's shoulder, but its companion is...

Missing.]

Oh, no you don't. [Jaskier grabs Geralt's arm before he can simply disappear.] You and Sephiroth need to get those cages. Especially in case we've caught something less than savory.

[He truly hopes it was not his bird. Imagine the mental anguish of being pulled into existence and then trapped in a cage! The poor dear could not handle it.]

[ Less than savoury? It's either the damn cat or one of the birds. And what does it matter which bird? They are magic birds, of the impermanent sort. They're to disappear before the day is up. In fairness, they can't be responsible for a real bird trapped in a cage, wasting away until it dies. That seems a cruel fate.

His eyes flick to Jaskier's hand around his arm. The sound he makes in his friend's direction is a suspiciously animal-like growl. Fine. ]

No. [ He looks up to the roof. ] He will not let go of that bird. I will fetch your traps.

[ Geralt has the most faith in Sephiroth's ability to hold onto that bird, if only because Sephiroth wants this done with as much as he does. He can get the devices. He doesn't want to hear Jaskier complain about his boots again and Viktor gets a pass.

In either case, Geralt is already off. Using the stairs, thank you. Or that's what he means to do, except the museum's hours have...closed for the evening, as he is informed. The remaining three can witness from a distance his futile efforts to have himself let in, but the attendant at the front door is nervous and squeaks like a dying mouse and Geralt can't find the heart to frighten the boy into letting him through. Not keen on being jailed for trespassing, either, so snapping the backdoor's lock isn't viable.

In the end, he just. Climbs the damn building outright. From within a narrow alleyway, which still isn't as discreet as he'd prefer but at least it's not in full view. It's fine. The city can't give him shit for scaling property in service of whichever the fuck official owns this pigeon. ]

[Nicola coos in his hands, wiggling a little but making no real fuss to fly out from Sephiroth’s grip. He looks down at the bird, then at Geralt’s sorry effort to enter the museum from the front, only to be forced to climb back up like some wild animal. It’s vaguely impressive. But still ridiculous.

He exhales. Turns to look at the other two men, with Geralt clambering up a building in the background.]

Your trap probably caught the cat.

[That would be his best guess, and he directs this estimation at Viktor, as if he’d know what to do with it.]

Which means that it wasn’t a complete waste of time. [His efforts, he means. Helpful? And then, at Jaskier—]

But I still wouldn’t call any of this impressive.

Even more reason to get them now.

[Because he's not going to leave an animal stuck in there for who knows long. The good news is that Geralt is already on his way, and Viktor takes a moment to look back and forth between him and Sephiroth, as if wordlessly asking if anyone else is going to exhibit vaguely superhuman powers today.

Is he being asked what to do with the cat? Don't ask him what to do with a cat. He's going to end up taking the cat home.]

It's done. That's what matters.

[Viktor offers a shrug, but the way his eyebrows pinch together indicates that he is similarly mortified.]

Oooh, nice. Free cat.

[Someone has to look at the silver lining here, and clearly no one else is going to do it. What to do, of course, with the free cat is really teh question here. Luckily, it won't be around to eat any birds! Including Jaskier's.

Though he's pretty sure Red could eat a cat that thin. As could Mog.

Jaskier gives Sephiroth a wry smile.] She's a bird, I definitely think she's impressed. Birds are simple creatures. [Barring that it all took them this long to catch a creature that apparently did not mind being caught --

He claps both Viktor and Sephiroth on the shoulder.] At any rate, good job, boys! Surely riches await us.

[Or a funny story as they watch Geralt climb the side of a building like a little lizard.] I'll make sure that when I recount our deeds, it sounds much more, ah. Epic.

[ It's not a long climb, thankfully. It also is indeed the cat inside the trap, with Jaskier's bird perched atop mockingly. Geralt grabs both contraptions, ignores the yowling animal inside, and hops down the same side he went up. He lands on a ledge midway first before he drops the rest of the way.

Would've been less hassle to kill a nest of sand scorpions.

Geralt returns with everything intact: magic bird, unperturbed atop the trap still; domesticated (questionable) feline; two traps. He hands the traps to Viktor, hissing cat included, and the bird to Jaskier like he's doling out gifts from a satchel. ]

I suggest we return the bird before it fucks off again.

[ He will not press their luck any further. Perhaps the others have more faith, but where Geralt is involved, fortune does not favour him. Which raises a point: where do they bring the pigeon? Do they knock on Marlo's door?

However they do it, they manage: the four of them with one whole damn bird, presented to the man himself. (Geralt still doesn't know his name, but it matters little at the moment.) ]

[ The quartet will assemble at the Bureau of Innovation and Technological Advancement and led straight up to Aleksander's wing. The receiving room is spare of furniture but full of accolades and models of previous inventions. They can take a moment to admire all that he has helped pioneer in the Free Cities, but they won't have much time to do it.

It isn't long before the doors to his office burst open and a bearded man in goggles frantically rushes out. ]

Nicola! You have my Nicola!

[ Not so much of an acknowledgment is spared towards the heroes of the day as Aleksander snatches up his prized pigeon who does actually coo in response. He turns away from the group, whispering incomprehensible but likely words of reassurance and praise to his beloved bird. It lasts a moment or two too long to be considered appropriate.

Finally, Aleksander turns back around and lifts his goggles off of his eyes. Nicola is cuddled close to his chest. He clears his throat. ]

You've done a great service to the Free Cities. You can be content in the knowledge that all of your troubles were worth the effort. Where did you find her?

["Bureau of Innovation and Technological Advancement" conjures up very specific imagery: namely, an assortment of machinery and contraptions, some eccentric, some a bit more intimidating than the rest. Sephiroth finds he's not terribly off the mark when they arrive in the receiving room, a space full of models of foreign inventions, but there's no time to confirm or debunk any more of his biases. Aleksander comes barging in, beelining it straight to Sephiroth and snatching Nicola directly out of his hands.

He watches wordlessly as the man comforts his apparent muse, who doesn't look all that bothered in Sephiroth's own estimation. Still, he says nothing until he's spoken to, and when he does, his affectation is no different than rattling off a particularly mundane mission report.]

She's been flying all over the city. [As if that isn't an obvious conclusion, where a bird is concerned.] But we found her atop a museum roof in the southeastern part of the city.

[A beat. He supposes it's not a full report without mentioning the main hazard.]

She was being hunted by a cat.

[ Aleksander guffaws. The mere thought of a cat putting its dirty paws on his pigeon is laughable at first, but his grimace shows that it doesn't sit well with him. ]

A menace, an absolute vile creature to even think that it could...

[ Aleksander snorts, cutting off his thought as he holds Nicola closer. She coos from his armpit. ]

She's been returned to me intact and unmolested. That knowledge should be a reward to you in and of itself, but not everyone can appreciate her fully. That being said...

[ He shoves a hand into his jacket pocket and a high-pitched "beep" is heard. A diagram on the wall is pulled up into the ceiling, revealing a display case behind it with a three types of trinkets, bird-themed trinkets. ]

You may each take one.

[ The white one is labeled as a "wind-up music box" and will rotate through three different classical tunes of Cadens, one of them being the national anthem.

The second is a metal woodpecker that is labeled as an "frighteningly effective alarm clock" that may be used so you do not miss an important rendezvous or start a feud with your neighbors.

The last is an unassuming bird on wheels that is labeled as a "one-time use security device". It winds up, rolls forward and explodes in fifteen seconds.

A pile of Marlo's infamous gold tickets sits at the edge for each to take as well. ]

Oh, and you can take a pen on the way out.

[ The pens are hailed to be even better than the "endless" ink pens of Thorne, not just because they have an attractive feather but because they can be recharged overnight and last for a week, requiring no enchantments. And they have the stamp of this Bureau on the side. ]

Can you believe that Thorne was giving their paltry little things in goodie bags at the Summit? Pah! With these you will show prestige and my favor.

[Jaskier takes the reunion of man and bird with a soft little smile on his face. Despite the ridiculous shenanigans one had to participate in order to salvage the relationship between man and pigeon, he cannot help but be moved by a man who so dearly loves any of his muses so much. He is, of course, the only one who can understand such a deep, moving relationship.

Especially since Nicola seems rather pleased with her return. Jaskier is beginning to suspect she left only so she could return to such fanfare, to be reminded of what a beloved little thing she is.

It's not a bad idea. Jaskier has definitely done it once. Twice. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Jaskier chokes. Why on earth did Sephiroth mention the cat? Gods, these men have no decorum!]

Ah, I'm sure the cat was admiring Nicola's wonderful plumage as the rest of us were. However, be reassured that said cat no longer stalks the city streets.

[He doesn't need to know it's still alive unless relevant. Besides, Jaskier is immediately distracted by the unearthing of what he knows very well are birds, but are clearly not real ones. However, the styling... the coloring! Mechanical little golems, truly crafted with an artist's hand. Jaskier carefully picks up the white one, cradling it in his hands.] My gods, Aleksander, did you craft these? They're absolutely incredible! I mean it! I've never seen such beautiful, darling creatures so lovingly rendered.

[Jaskier isn't even posturing anymore. Every word is genuine, his finger running over the bird's head as if to pet it. Its beak opens, chirping musical notes in the air in a tinny, unfamiliar sort of noise.

He almost cries.]

[Yeah, the cat no longer stalks the city streets because Viktor has inadvertently adopted it, but that's neither here nor there. He doesn't speak up right away, mostly because he's not sure when he'll have the chance to be here again, and he wants to take in all of the work--Aleksander is an inventor, like him, so he feels this is a worthwhile connection to make.

Of course, when the man himself seems more concerned about the bird than anything else, he tempers his expectations. The clockwork birds are intriguing, at least from an "I can take this apart" standpoint. Viktor selects the alarm clock.]

You know, I'm an engineer myself. [He's not sure how much it's going to matter, when Aleksander seems so singularly focused on Nicola, but he might as well shoot his shot.] If you are ever in need of assistance.

[Viktor sort of side-eyes Jaskier's exclamation. At least someone here seems to be (unironically???) having a good time. Sorry to everyone else.]

Edited 2022-04-17 20:23 (UTC)

[ That's. More birds. Also apparently yet another voucher for one (1) gold coin, which Geralt is ignoring because he can only be exasperated by so much at a time. (What will they hand them out next for, shovelling dirt? She could've at least offered him two of them for his capture.)

In any case.

Geralt is not interested in a bird. He is glad the bard appears to overcome by these mechanical creatures, but Geralt himself cannot imagine what the fuck he's to do with a singing bird. Then he looks to his left, where Viktor is standing. Sees that gleam in the man's eyes. Something of an engineer. Hm.

Silently, Geralt takes the purported security device. Viktor may or may not be asked for a small favour in the upcoming future regarding mechanical birds that are designed to explode. ]

Edited 2022-04-19 13:31 (UTC)

[ Jaskier's enthusiasm for Aleskander's great works are exactly what they deserve. The man himself seems allergic to niceties, but he is nodding along in agreement with the praise. ]

Yes, yes of course they are. Try as I might, nothing will come close to her countenance...but you can't fault a man for trying to reach perfection, now can you?

[ He strokes the bird's feathers. Nicola coos.

His attention shifts to Viktor, plainly sizing the other man up. ]

Are you?

[ The thought of Aleskander needing assistance...!

Well, on second thought, he is a busy man. It may not be as laughable as his instincts tell him. He quickly looks away and watches Geralt inspect his options as he speaks to his fellow engineer. ]

Bring me proof of your skill and we may have something to talk about.

[Viktor looks surprised, like he was not at all expecting that, but hey--he took a shot, and Aleksander seems at least slightly receptive. His eyebrows betray him a little, but otherwise he's able to wrangle his expression fairly quickly, offering an affirmative nod.]

I'd be glad to. You'll hear more from me soon.

[For now, he's looking forward to taking this bird-shaped alarm apart. See what makes it tick.]

( closed ) the pigeon guys

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(one-winged angel in the bg.)

choral music intensifies

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MEANWHILE, FAR BELOW

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