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carmesi) wrote in
abraxaslogs2022-03-28 11:50 am
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( closed prompts )
Who: Wanda and others
What: Eclipse, magical madness, quest
Where: Solvunn and Horizon
When: A bit after the eclipse, mid-March.
Warnings: Will include in top levels if necessary.
What: Eclipse, magical madness, quest
Where: Solvunn and Horizon
When: A bit after the eclipse, mid-March.
Warnings: Will include in top levels if necessary.
šŖ
I know, I know. [comes the frivolous words, hands up in the air in a tight wave as 'aunt may' dives back into the kitchen, packing up a red, square lunch box and trying to make all components fit, enough for the lock to click into place.] I usually send you off with some money, but your first day of fifth grade only comes around once.
[it's a memory she's latched on to, of peter when he was much, much younger; aunt may was younger, too, perhaps entrusted on this role of looking after her nephew by herself. it's all hazy bits and pieces, of more recent memories fusing with older ones, a testament that peter's horizon is not necessarily... his, currently.
wanda's hand spins slowly as her magic coils, trying to hang on to that feeling.
aunt may stops her frantic rushing to look at peter, a soft small and a sigh on her features as she pushes her glasses to the top of her head, messing her bangs a bit, as she approaches peter to fix his hair.]
Come on. We said there wouldn't be any tears.
[whatever this memory, it is treating peter like he isn't the young adult that he is in the present.]
š„²
it's an incongruous rattling of senses — his own, prickling in some numb attempt at self defense that only gets duller the longer he looks at her, like a spell charmed into place. that crawling across his skin goes deeply ignored, no longer tugging and pulling at him, no longer telling him turn around or wake up or not real or she's gone.
maybe if he stopped to listen, he'd realize it all so. but he doesn't. the loneliness doesn't fade though, that emptiness echoing in cavernous breaths.
he steps forward, watches her fuss with the achingly-familiar lunchbox and when she turns to look at him, pushes her glasses up over her head and comes to him, he doesn't even realize he's crying until she says so. ] That's —
— that's okay, Aunt May. I like your lunches better anyway. [ words are croaked out, barely above a whisper, half-memories parroted back, eyes on the overstuffed box. had he cried then? he must've. is then now? he feels small, even if he's eye level to her now. is he small? he can't breathe. there's red, some brief wisp there and gone again, in his periphery and he closes his eyes when her hand runs through his hair and it feels warm and real and he is frozen in his spot and all he can taste is metal and salt. ] I'm sorry —
[ why is he sorry? he can't remember, but he feels its not enough. he misses her — dimly acknowledges that that's what that hollow feeling is. he misses her but why, if she's right here?
his fingers find her hand, and hold it tight. ] — I don't want to leave you. [ something bad will happen if he does. why does he know that? he wants to hug her, but finds himself afraid.
concrete dust and smoke, rough and bitter in burning lungs. ]
cw: mention of no way home spoilers, strangling, war zone depictions
wanda finds it, that thread she's been trying to tag along with towards the wisp of memories, all in an attempt to try and burrow herself in feelings she's familiar with, like an insatiable hunger derived from a need to feed the emotions that make her magic pulse with power.
the boy speaks, throat tight as the words barely squeeze out. i'm sorry ā i don't want to leave you. wanda feels warmth in her hand, a tight hold. she ignores it, tries to, but she finds herself drowning in something that is not her own; like a dam that breaks and floods it all, she finds herself whirling as she rushes through the memories she's just about barely uncovered.
for a moment, wanda can't breathe, feels hands at her throat. your weakness, peter ā this morality ā it's choking you ā can you feel it? blurry vision and choked breaths. a flurry of movements as the spots in her eyes make it hard to see, while her senses try to bring her back to the present. no, noā may, run pleaseā]
No!
[she inches too close to something that is too painful, too similar to a pain she keeps guarded, because otherwise it just knocks her down over and over and over again, worrying over what ifs, where tears fall without her permission. wanda tries to stop time with her magic, but it has all sunken to a point where she is not entirely in control, where wanda needs to recover her footing amidst these waves.
there's an explosion ā
followed by the noise of falling rubble, the whistling of more bombs in the air. aunt may is reeled away from peter, a lasting smile on her expression before the reality of the queens apartment is torn asunder. it's cold, winter cold, and dark now, the skies filled with smoke and ash.
should peter rise from whatever familiar rubble he finds himself in, his spider-man suit on, he will see in front of him a bed, two children hiding under it, looking at him with wide, fearful eyes.]
no subject
he begs her to run, the crash of the building around them drowning out so much - concrete slabs and rebar and steel - falling and falling and may is gone from his vision and there's panic and fear ringing so bright — ] May — May ! — [ his voice breaks in his yell, the sort that rasps from a constricted throat and finishes in a fit of coughs.
the rubble closes in, knocks into him as he raises his arms over his head to keep the worst of it off, softened by the durability of his suit and he rises away from it on his hands and knees and he sounds so small — ] — no, nono —
[ the words, senseless as they are, wither in his throat when his eyes lock on the two children, hidden and barely safe under the bed. his head reels, hurts behind his eyes and he needs to find his aunt but oh my god there's kids and he's not thinking twice, crouching by the bed with hands outstretched in front of him, placating and covered in the smoke-grey fallout. ] Hey — hey it's okay. It's alright. Come on — [ edges closer, arm leaning against a fallen wall as he reaches out the other towards them. ] — please, I'll get you out of here, okay?
[ he takes his eyes off of them, for a short moment, roving around the chaos he recognizes and doesn't. his senses are frazzled now, burning with awareness, nostrils flaring and a quiet sort of anger rising like bile in his throat. no green goblin in sight. no aunt may. he needs to find her, but he needs to get these kids to safety too. hurry, hurry.
(where was he? there weren't any kids before. it wasn't so cold before.
before when?) ]no subject
wanda needs to find her footing, level her magic back into soundness, but she finds herself under the bed that served as a roof for her brother and her, for days, while they waited for the bomb carved in their home to go off. much like peter, her thoughts are now frazzled; she connected too closely to his thoughts to the point they've weaved with her own.
it's a shared nightmare, now, and she stares at him, with the eyes of a child, unable to speak anything but sokovian.]
We can't.
[she echoes herself at the age of 10, in an unknown language, and it's when peter turns away that wanda takes a deep breath, conjures her magic, and forces a new variable to take place, all in the same moment that she chokes back a sob. there's static in the air, the children are gone, but in arrives a specter into the picture: a man with bleached hair, sportswear, and an accent in his words.]
Hey, man, what are you doing here?
[pietroāthe ghost of himādirects himself to peter (and it hurts wanda so, to use her brother as a shield, a visage, the last bits of memories to put together an image of who he used to be), looking unfazed by the situation at hand. it's like he's in a different location altogether.]
Can you get out, or do you need help?
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every part of him of screams that something is terribly wrong, frayed nerves and burning breaths as he tries to keep his inhales steady, through his nose, jaw tight. Tries to find his own proverbial footing ā tries to still the disorientation and listen. it feels like heās on the cusp, just a little bit more. just follow your intuition a few steps fartherā¦
but it is overwhelming, and he feels a little too much and it doesnāt feel like just his own pain anymore and thatās the first thing that seems to put a single hairline fracture in his haze. it almost feels like thereās something else pushing against his mind, but he canāt quite chase it enough.
when he looks back, thereās no children, thereās no bed and instead thereās a tall stranger, bleached hair and a sort of look to his face that makes peter think he can trust him, unfazed and untouched by what is around them, displaced and standing not but a few feet away and peter still jolts.
even with his enhanced physiology, his body protests but he forces himself up to his feet, a smooth motion that turns sloppy at the end as he stumbles forward.
no, this was wrong ā ] ā What? How did you . . .
No, hi, Iām ā Iām fine, [ think, Peter, think. heās never met him before. where are they? how did you get here? what if thereās no time? he turns to look up to the man with sincere desperation. ] I have to find my aunt ā sheās hurt.
[ this, he knows to be true. right? sheās hurt. no, sheās gone. he swallows a lump in his throat. ] Thereās kids here. There were two kids, under a bed. Can you help — [ wait - where is the bed? where are they? peter pivots on the ball of his foot, searching. the look he throws pietro belies growing confusion. ] them? They were just here?
[ and more forcibly, voice rising louder around them, around this space he canāt quite get the sense of, swimming around the edges the further away he looks. ] May?
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There is no one here. You okay?
[her older brother used to know how to connect with others better, offer kind words when needed and read the situation betterālook at things less coldly.
he follows peter as he gets lost in the stream of looking after aunt may; wanda follows just behind, in the shadows, giving herself time to connect the dots, put her magic upright and remove them both from this tangent of memories and nightmares.]
You have to be careful. [pietro uses his speed to move faster than peter can stumble about, placing a hand on the kid's chest to keep him from moving.] This building is falling apart. Did you not hear? The Avengers need you to evacuate.
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but then the guy moves and peter doesnāt know where he goes until thereās a sound right in front of him, a hand on his chest holding him back from moving any further and his eyes widen, flick up to pietroās face in genuine surprise. he's fast and peter doesn't remember meeting him before at all — ] The Avengers?
[ he searches the face for recognition ā almost familiar, maybe in the eyes, but not quite enough for him to make a connection. idly, distantly, it occurs to him that there would be some names and faces he wouldnāt quite know, who were still part of the worldās mightiest heroes. or once were.
but that strikes him odd too. this feels displaced, time not making much sense. no sense at all.
a part of him wants to keep looking. a part of him doesnāt want to believe anything until itās right in front of him. was there a flicker of movement in the shadows? he rushes towards a compromise, ] Look, Iām an Avenger too ā sort of. Iāll be okay ā you just, umm, you have to make sure that everyone else is evacuated, right?
Iām just helping — [ if he closes his eyes again, maybe heāll be able to hear things better? he tries for that but instead it makes his head spin. something's wrong, his spider sense hisses, and he's finally starting to listen. ] sorry ā where are we? Who are you?
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A kid in the Avengers? [he snorts, good-naturedly, and offers a grin.] Come on, you must have heard. Pietro. Do not go forgetting it.
[āwanda's eyes open; they're a haze of redā]
Well, I will trust you. If you take too long, I will come back for you.
[pietro fist bumps peter's suit, right on the chest; the action is not strong enough to throw peter off-kilter, but because of the magic at play, it is enough to make the young man lose his balance, fall back, and land himself on a couch. peter sits in the middle of it, in a homely, suburban home, clean and crisp, no sign of destruction nor bombs. there two kids beside him playing video games: one in a green jacket, the other in a red sweatshirt.]
Heyā! Stop, I got youā! Tommy! We're in the same team! No way!
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pietro? eyes widen, mouth opening to ask another question. something in his mind strikes at him, a distant conversation in a displaced time, a front porch in dreamlike peace. a conversation shared between him and - and wanda?
that's right. didn't she say she had a brother named — wait okay, he's going to let him look around more, that's good, he just as to say one more thing — ] Be care—
[ there's a bump on his chest, good-natured and not hard enough to cause the lurch that follows but his stomach dips, tumbling backwards as he is. breath leaves him in a soft oof as he lands on the soft cushions of a couch in a living room he doesn't recognize.
he blinks, bolts upright. it feels like home, but not his and he ends up staring at two children, seated on the couch and playing video games.
okay, no. no no this isn't right? for all the internal monologue, the influx of questions, he tries to keep himself steady. its difficult not to feel just a little bit safe in this space and he isn't sure why, but the desperation ebbs away from his tense shoulders, replaced treacherously back with some bittersweet sort of loneliness. the back of his mind rears up in panic (still struck by seeing his aunt, throat still sore and raw from hands on it moments before, mind still reeling at the speed of trying to catch up. and why was wanda's brother there? before? he needs to find his footing, but all he feels is like he is careening through a script he can't control, memories that were once his and now are someone else's). ] Um — hello?
That looks like a fun game — [ tries for calm. succeeds mostly, just a bit out of breath. he's still in his spider suit. ] Are - are your parents around?
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[the twins chime in unison, like his being here, showing up out of thin air and wearing his spider suit is the most normal thing to happen to them. it works fine if they're a memory, because they exist within a space where weird is normal.]
Dad's at work. [chimes in tommy, not removing his eyes from the screen.] Mom told us to stay here and to keep you company. [billy does, on the other hand, turn his eyes away from the screen to look at peter, a bit of a confused look on his face; he's always been the more perceptive one of the two, considering his powers.] It's not safe if you leave this space. Mom's fixing it.
[should peter look outside the windows, though they allow beams of sunlight of a perfect day in suburbia through, he will notice that they are surrounded by a whirlwind of scarlet.
billy blinks up at peter.]
You're thinking too much.
[has billy become something of a voice for wanda? yes, he has. though she is not in this pocket of reality, she can sense his presence entrenched within her magic, putzing about, thoughts mingling about and entangling themselves with hers.]
Can you stop doing that?
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cozy suburbia greets him. the kids seem entirely unfazed by the suit, and at least there's no residue of dust and grime from before to leave prints on the fabric.
dad's at work, one kid says. okay, that feels kind of normal? the rest — it still serves to send a chill rushing up his spine and raking up along the back of his neck because that's not all that normal. it's not safe, he says. ] Mom's fixing it?
What's she fixing? [ who and where??
peter doesn't register himself rising from the seat and closing the distance to the window, ducking under the curtains to look outside. if there's danger there, he needs to know and his senses feel so addled, so long a time on high alert, that he isn't sure what to trust right now. he wants to trust this place. something out there, out here, suggests that he should. insists, even. a squint, agains the sunlight until his eyes land on the swirl of red. it almost feels familiar (battlefield against thanos but he tries so ardently to shove that thought away). quickly, he steps away, turns, and presses his back to the window. the sun shining through almost feels warm.
theres a frown, concern stark and his mind starts its ragged race again until billy's voice halts it. ] What?
I — I don't know how to stop that, [ he says this lamely, going to the front door. maybe if he keeps moving, he can run away from the thoughts catching up because while he doesn't know what's going on right this very instant, it's in his nature to try.
though, trying the handle doesn't yield much results. ] Okay — um, okay, so — [ don't think?? how does he not think?? ] — I'm Peter Parker. What're your names? [ simple. let's do simple for now. ]
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well, at least he seems to have gotten both the boys' attention.]
Magic is hard to control sometimes. [billy starts, and tommy just shrugs.] According to Billy. He doesn't know that much. I sure do!
[tommy sticks his tongue out, hanging on to the back of the couch, staring over at the two; billy stands away from the couch, closer to peter.]
Anyway, I'm Billy Maximoff. And that's my brother, Tommy. We're twins.
[he points at each other, then beams. tommy, on the other hand, says a little cryptically:]
You really shouldn't stand so close to the door, Peter Parker.
[if peter feels the pinpricks of his spider sense starting to become more concrete and make more sense, then maybe he should trust it. the door handle starts jiggling, shaking harder and harder, the windows rattling as if the air outside were being compressed. the lights dim, shadows growing darker, longer, more menacing.
billy repeats, a certain nod of his head:]
Mom will fix it.
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[ he blurts out, because that's the first thing that comes to mind - not thoughtless but if he says it out loud it means he isn't thinking on it for any longer than he needs to.
but that does inspire more realization — he didn't know she had kids. what happened — oh no —
his back is to the door and his ears ring in tinnitus as his senses sharpen, suddenly, and he's sidestepping away from it right in tandem to the twin's warnings, right as the handle rattles, the frame bangs and the windows shake and darkness presses in.
he crowds towards them and while they don't seem very concerned about this at all, full faith in their mom (he cannot help but understand that), peter still puts himself between them and the door, the windows. shoulders square, footing more sure.
the air feels thin. ] Okay — [ a glance over to them, spider sense prickling. anticipating...something? he tries to steady his voice. ] — does your mom need help?
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she worries, now, perhaps without having the right to, after barging into peter's mind and trying to anchor these irrational feelings that make the darkness grow within oneself.
while she may have separated herself from the chaos she breathed life into, she is very much in the midst of it. turning her hand, grafting through the magic with tiny movements of her fingers. now that peter is a little more disconnected from his thoughts, distracted either by the presence of the twins or just general understanding of the situation at hand, it allows wanda the opportunity to grab purchase of her magic and really have a foothold on it.
does your mom need help? ā the question echoes, and she closes her eyes tight, uncertainty heavy.
tommy speaks abruptly.]
She's afraid you'll hate her. [the boy turns to look at his brother, the two of them keeping eye contact for a while longer, before nodding and turning back to peter. billy points at the window.] But she doesn't want you to stay trapped here. You could jump, but... you'll need to stop thinking so much.
[certainty. resolve. that's what peter will need.]
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this knowledge, these two kids...it feels? it feels sad, but warm. love and loss and he still tries to make sense of it all around him. he doesn't understand exactly, but he's connected enough of the dots to recognize that wanda is involved, now. that she's trying to do something.
tommy's voice is that of a small boy, but it feels like there's years of worry and weight packed into the statement and peter shakes his head, incessant. ] No — no, why would I? [ quiet, confused. is this all her magic, doing this? he doesn't know its extents, hadn't seen them in all their might, but why would she do this now? unless something in this world was influencing her? maybe that was it, but it was becoming abundantly clear there were no answers to be found here.
for a boy used to leaps of faith, the two twins tell him to jump and he looks to the window and back to them. words spill over without a second to consider and he isn't sure who he's saying them to. ] Your mom will be okay. I promise.
[ and against his initial judgement, that surface-level instinct - kids, stay, protect - he turns on the ball of his foot to get a running start, closes his eyes tight and jumps.
is it unfortunate that, in his valiant attempt to follow instructions and not think, his new york apartment flashes in his minds eye. he doesn't know where he's jumping too, just hears a breaking of glass and feels a lurch in his belly, but at least his has that. come what may. ]
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she cannot let herself drown in it again, which is why the twins had emphasized that he shouldn't think too much. at least, now, wanda is ready to brace herself against the crashing waves of it all.
āwhat is grief, if not love persevering?ā
and that's exactly what she needs to hang on to, how valuable those words are, and how they keep her strong, resolved to keep walking, no matter what else comes her way. (it probably helps, that peter questions why he should hate her; the way he promises that their mom would be okay.) peter jumps through the whirlwind of scarlet, gets dragged with the torrent, and wanda exerts herselfāthe shrill scream of the wind hiding her voice as she pushes her magic to submission, taking all the pain that came with it onto herself, even peter's, if just momentarily, to shape and mold it long enough to make sense of it.
it's peter's new york apartment againābut not quite the one he grew up in. it's the one he moved into, one cold december day, all by himself, memories others had of him completely lost to a spell. this much wanda is not aware of, but there is a distinct feeling of solitude there. scarlet carves itself on the walls, but only as it pulls the segments of this place together.
peter may stand looking around, but at one point he will notice the warmth of a hand on his back. a familiar voice speaks to him: a woman, dark-haired with brown eyes.]
It's pretty bare, Peter. [aunt may purses her lips, but smiles nonetheless.] You'll try and make it your own, won't you?
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what is grief —
wanda's voice, an echo — quiet words exchanged by two people who felt a little too strongly for a world a little too cruel and a little too difficult to be good in — that reverberates as peter opens his eyes, standing in the bare apartment.
— if not love persevering
jeans and a hoodie, no suit this time. its empty, cold, lacking the things that make it home and new york's overcast skies mirror the mood. there's crimson crawling into the walls and fading, piecing it together and he blinks, bleary-eyed and tired.
then there's a warm hand flattening on his back just as he takes a long sigh and he turns to look.
this time, it isn't confusing to him anymore why he feels so wrecked, the brunt of loss remembered. he knows she's gone. (what is grief?) he's visited her grave and left her flowers (if not love persevering?) there's only solitude for him here in the sum of his actions. price paid by more than him.
he doesn't know where wanda is, or what she's done to get him here. doesn't really understand what phantom stands in front of him now, just knows that he wants to say things he will never have a chance to again.
even if it isn't really real. grief and love and it overflows. all he can promise is to be better than he is. people die around you, peter.
tears well, threaten to spill over as his throat constricts. ] May — [ voice breaks. his hands find her shoulders. she's wearing the same jumpsuit as before, free of rubble-dust and blood. before she — ] — I'm so sorry. You weren't supposed to get hurt. Why didn't you run, May? Why didn't — [ he ducks his chin, tongue passing across his teeth. he grapples with self-control but the truth is he wasn't ever very good at that - (think of where you are, this isn't real, she'll never hear this so just accept it. where's wanda? is she okay?) but the next words are said with heat and conviction and a touch of anger. ] It was my fault. [ it should have been me. ]
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but there is one certainty about their choices.
aunt may raises her hands to put them on either side of peter's head, gentle rubs of her thumbs against the line of his cheeks.
why didn't she run? well, the answer is obvious:]
Because I love you. I couldn't have left you alone.
[pietro had agreed to go at wanda's behest, because he loved her; because he trusted she would be able to handle things on her own. the hot tears on peter's cheeks move aunt may, as she works to fix peter's hair, down to his shoulders to fix the creases of his hoodie and shirt. finally, she lifts his chin, forces him to look at her.]
We all make choices. [her hands hold tightly to his forearms] I chose to stay.
[words, perhaps, that are empty because this isn't the real aunt may, just an echo of what they all wish they could hear, drawn from emotion and memory. aunt may's expression softens though, uncannily like herself, and she draws peter close to her, arms tight around his shoulders, a kiss to the side of his head, into his hair.]
I love you, Peter.
[no blaming, just nuances of affection; crisp and real, drawn from the very real notion of sentiments found should aunt may be alive.
ālike that, in a few more seconds, the spell breaks.
wanda has replaced aunt may, embracing the boy, holding tightly as the world succumbs to carmine tones, breaking away from them and dissolving into what peter's horizon used to beāexcept bare, missing out on the details, a sketch of itself. wanda heaves, breathes heavily, and holds on tightly, her words quiet:]
I'm sorry.
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in the end, it is a contrast. it feels real and his mind supplies that it isnāt. not her hands fixing his hair, the creases in his clothes, or the kisses on his head or how she pulls him into a hug and his arms loop around her and hold on tight.
and then the spell breaks.
he feels it do so — feels the reality snap back like a rubber band and it leaves him feeling exhausted and he still holds on, cheek pressed into auburn hair instead of brunette. a part of him expected her to fade to ash and dust.
he ought to be embarrassed by how readily he clings, but he feels as though his thoughts had been pulled taut and flipped through, worn thin as he is. is there anything left to be ashamed about?
a part of him still rings out from their shared pain - all those emotions interwoven and she feels less a stranger. ] ā Wanda,
[ he pulls back first, straightens up to look at her with red-rimmed eyes, briefly downcast; the look of someone who inadvertently feels as though heās overshared something terrible and personal, even when it had slipped from his control before he could ever stop it. ] What happened?
[ all he can think to ask. it isnāt a demand, exactly. wonder? heās so tired. but he needs to understand. what happened couldnāt have been onā¦purpose, could it? he tracks back to the suburban house, to the twins and the screaming howl of a scarlet whirlwind. ] Are you okay?
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but peter, this sweet child wanda had only ever met from a distance in battlefields and a funeral, he looks at her and asks without anger, without any semblance of resentment. are you okay? her hands hold on lightly to his shoulders, forearms, then down to his wrists. her hands are shaking as she makes a point of holding his hands together between them.
she swallows, and repeats:]
I'm sorry. Iā
I didn't know it was you. My powers, they're... [volatile. the word stings, because it's shameful of how true it is. she's supposed to have better control over them than this.] I didn't know ā about your aunt. It caught me off guard and I, [she stops, looking down at their hands, biting down to keep herself quiet.
but peter deserves an answer other than half-breathed excuses. she nods to herself, then speaks, not yet looking at him.] It's been acting up for a few days now, my chaos magic. It takes over. It... it draws from my feelings, you know? And ā I was pulled towards you, but I didn't expect all of this pain. Your pain.
[she looks up at him, her hands squeezing his.]
When I realized, about your aunt, I tried to pull away. Iā I couldn't do it quickly enough.
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her hands shake, and his fingers curl lightly over them when they pass along to his wrists, a familial contact.
a shallow breath taken. in, out and repeat.
he had no idea how her magic worked. chaos magic, she says. it takes over she says, and his brows pinch. like dr octavius, with those tendrils of tech? itās parallels and comparisons, but in no moment of his sprint through filling in blanks does he settle on resentment.
thereās sympathy. thereās an ache, somewhere under his ribs. her eyes arenāt those of a person who doesnāt have any good left in them and it isnāt in the nature of peter parker to see the worst in people. ]
I didnāt realize. [ didnāt realize his hurt was so loud. didnāt realize how much it had lingered, taken root. he thought he was doing okay, better and better at shaking it off when all it really was, was that he was learning to live with it and those were not the same thing.
and her powers could sense that?? he had no idea. what it worked with, what it reacted to or how the unending torrent of his thoughts, or the turmoil within, could influence it.
what this place making it worse? ]
Itās ā itās okay. [ he sounds rattled, but he means it. ] I didnāt tell you about her. It was just ā really recent. I didnāt realize your powers reacted to these things. [ he watches her, hands still curled around hers, in part worried. in part, tries not to focus on more parallels, despite how oneās mind works after tragedy (he was holding onto his aunt when she fell). ]
I guess ā I guess telling me to stop thinking makes a lot of sense, now.
Iām ā sorry, too. [ for all sheās lost. he doesnāt know the extents but he felt them. he wants to ask about her kids. doesnāt think itās the right time. clears his throat and finally letās go, lifts his head to look around the bare apartment, instead. ] Is it better now? Is there ā anything I can do to help?
[ he isnāt sure what else to offer.
should he be hurt? scared? angry? maybe thatās the expectation, in a way. maybe he needs a moment. heāll take one later. ]
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things, while stuck in the fugue of scarlet and chaos, were a little difficult to discern entirely, now that she's got a better foothold on reality.
when peter pulls his hands away and looks around, wanda is left to hold her hands, the warmth of peter's hands gone. she takes a deep breath, not willing to concede to the fact that this itself is a death sentence to their acquaintanceship nor him solidly drawing away from her entirely, forever. so she brings her hands closer to herself, rubbing them lightly, nervously. it's what helps her look up and around with him, at the bare apartment.
there's a small shake of her head.]
I tried to recreate it to what you had before, [in the horizon] but I didn't... know the details of it. [what he had placed in his domain and what she had corrupted with her magic. quietly, answering his question:] ā I think it's alright now.
[wanda steps forward, pulling at the sleeves of her coat (modern clothes, from their world) downwards, hiding her wrists, but stopping before she moves too far away.]
Our... memories got mixed up. [it's a lot: of grief, of pain. it's worse when it's shared, because there's no untangling what is yours and what isn't.] I ā could make you forget this happened, if it's too much. I'm just...
[so ashamed. the following words come out of her before she can stop them:]
It's alright if you hate me.
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No — [ his head whips around to her, response a little too rushed. i can make you forget she says and he can't help how his heart hammers at the thought. it's alright if you hate me follows so soon after and he shakes his head, so very certain. no more memory spells for peter parker, for a while. ] No, I don't want to forget. [ then she'd be the only one who'd remember this and that sort of solitude flew too close to home too. ] It's fine, I promise. And I don't hate you, Wanda.
[ more than anything though, he looks aghast at the idea. tommy had said the same thing sheās worried you will hate her. ] Why would I?
[ it's obvious enough to him that she didn't mean to come here with this intent — with pulling proverbial sutures of new wounds free, with sharing her own emotions in the process.
he steps back towards her, head canted, eyes searching. concedes on one thing with obvious apprehension: ] Our memories — okay, so that was kind of a lot, yeah. It did sort of feel like things got tangled? [ his nose scrunches in trying to put a name to it, a hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. ] I don't understand all of it, but — [magic is hard to control sometimes, a simple fact said by a twin in a safe little living room. ] It's okay, really, we're okay, right?
[ he stands there, a little unsure now, and doesn't say anything for some time. there's a lot of things to be said (or maybe a lot of things that shouldn't) when they stand mutual witnesses to some of their darkest moments.
if she's worried about him turning his back on her, she shouldn't worry. they all make choices. peter chooses to stay. their worst moments don't define them, an idea he needs to believe in, for his own sake too. ]
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peter goes and then returns so her vicinity to quickly, earnest in clearing the air to whatever her words may imply. he doesn't want to forget, he promises it's fine, and he even reassures her that he doesn't hate her. no one dislikes you, wandaāshe exhales a quiet laugh, remembering vision's words. why would i?
her throat tightens and she shakes her head a few more times, minute movements as if to dismiss the notion altogether as he approaches her again. other people are harder to read, layered and careful with what they do give away; trust was an unending endeavor. it was simpler with othersāvision, steve. peter is proving himself to be so much like them, and it only makes her remember how much she misses them both. lips part to breathe, bringing a hand up to wipe at the tears from her eyes.]
I can understand why you speak so fast and say many things. [she says finally, a warmth in her words. he's incredibly smart, and his heart is incredibly big, too.] You really don't stop thinking.
[relief washes over her as she echoes him.]
We're okay.
[for what it's worth, their physical bodies are alright. it's the emotional scars that got messed with, but it's not nothing they've been without for some time, is it?
she swallows, and speaks again, gaining a little bit of her usual candor, even if she is still somewhat withdrawn.]
It must have been hard creating this place. [the new york apartment.] Was this your childhood home?
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