abraxaslogs | OPEN: We Vow To Keep Pressing Forward

"No, I know. I shouldn't take it personally." Jayce is sensitive and he knows that, and Viktor in particular could rip him apart with a few careless words. But intellectually he does understand it wasn't Viktor saying their partnership was wasted. It only felt that way. "I wish we could have done that, I agree. We both thought we had more time." Jayce literally thought they both had lifetimes to get to everything. If he knew it was limited, he might have pushed more for things to move.

"I know I let myself get distracted and I wasn't the partner I should have been lately." Lately for him, months ago for Viktor, but it still stands true, and he still feels the weight of it with his guilt. There were a lot of other things he was dealing with, a lot of power, a lot of responsibility, he thought it was great at first and then all he could see were his failures.

Jayce lets out a breath and looks at Viktor. "I just need you to know that I'm always on your side. Even when we disagree with each other or I'm being an idiot. You're my best friend, and I want to be there for you, no matter what happens." Or whenever Viktor will let him be there. So much of his heart is out there and after a beat he smiles wryly, shrugging.

"And I know my intense sincerity makes you uncomfortable, so ... we can just go home now and get some sleep."

He shakes his head, as if to emphasize, again, that he didn't mean it like that. It's too late, of course, because he's said it and now the sentiment will linger between them, but sitting here and beating themselves up over missed opportunities and things they could have (or should have) done differently is not a productive use of time.

"You don't have to keep apologizing to me for this." Viktor knows Jayce is guilty--for neglecting their work, for so easily falling into the political quagmire of the Council--they don't need to re-litigate the argument. "You were thrown into a bad situation and we've both made...mistakes. Let's just--we have a second chance, here. We should take it."

And he means that wholeheartedly. Of course Jayce is on his side--he doesn't want his partner to think that he doubts that.

What they can agree on is that they both need some rest. Viktor reaches for his shirt, pulling it back on over his harness, then starts on his new leg brace, which had been easy enough to fit on his own. He'll be quick about it, but it does mean they can't head out immediately, leaving him to try and find the best response to Jayce's casual shrug. It comes surprisingly easily.

"Your intense sincerity is what I like most about you." Jayce's passion is what drew Viktor to him in the first place. That hasn't changed. "Among other things."

Equally wry. Equally joking, maybe, except for the fact that he means it.

Edited 2022-04-16 04:20 (UTC)

"Okay, okay." Jayce's guilt isn't something easy to push away, but he gets what Viktor is saying, and if he does believe him, at least there's that. The more significant things he feels guilty for they'll have to talk about separately, but as long as Viktor knows he regrets taking him for granted, that is something they can move on from.

"There's a lot of things on the political end I'm still struggling with, my feelings about us are simple in comparison." So it's easier to put those into words and apologize. Jayce doesn't want to get involved with politics. Sometimes he thinks the worst part is being too good at it. He thrived for a little while there, climbing the limits of power to the top. His intentions were good but that doesn't matter. It's why he's low key being set off by them having a connection to someone else in politics. He sort of word vomited this at Alucard already, poor man.

Jayce assumes if Viktor needs his help on anything else he'll tell him. He collects his sketch book so he can take it hope, holding it to his chest when Viktor says something sweet yet again. He flushes a little in the best possible sense, letting that warmth flow through him. "You are literally making me blush." He might as well admit to it so he's not hiding it, laughing quietly.

"A list with all the things I like about you would be a mile long." That is the truth. Jayce has only a few things on his 'do not like' list, and they're ones that he also understands. Secretive, withdrawn, reluctant to share. He playfully reaches out to pat Viktor (carefully) on the back. "Maybe I should write a few out. See if I can get you to the be the egotistical one." Viktor's teased him for that before, like the night they met, and he doesn't mind now.

Viktor offers a brief, wistful glance that indicates he agrees--everything made sense, back when it was just the two of them in the lab, making breakthroughs and talking about what seemed, at the time, to be endless possibilities. Things only became more complicated from there. He knows himself well enough to realize that it wasn't necessarily Jayce's meteoric rise to fame that angered him, or made him jealous, rather, the decisions he started making once he was in a position of power.

The sting of it isn't going to go away anytime soon. What he can do is focus on the way Jayce practically comes apart in the face of a single compliment. (He knows, on some level, that it's because Viktor is the one offering the compliment--that it means so much more, coming from him. He tries not to think about the implications.)

"You're ridiculous." This time, he does roll his eyes. "Suggestible. No wonder everyone wants your ear--they think they can flatter you into giving them what they want."

He hopes that isn't too mean, given the rest of their conversation, but Viktor has always been an expert in taking Jayce down a peg, when he needs it. With the straps on his leg brace tightened, he hauls himself to his feet and gather his own notes. New braces, new crutch--already things feel a little better. "Unlike you, I am impervious to that sort of manipulation."

As he told Alucard, at the time he thought maybe he could use his new power to help people, that their inventions couldn't be enough when stacked up against the corruption of the Council itself. It was naive to think he could fix their entire system, but it is very Jayce. He who is determined to passionately push things until it works, and therein lies the problem. The only thing that ever made perfect sense was them. Until he realized they had limited time and then he'd be alone. Caitlyn, Mel, his mother, none of them could fill the hole that Viktor did, he'd never have this again. He couldn't lose him.

Looking at him now he's even more aware of it, wondering if his promise to Viktor would be possible for him. They have a chance at a cure again. That's all that matters now. He laughs again when Viktor rolls his eyes, some things never change, and he rolls his eyes right back. "If everyone was as difficult as you are about giving compliments, maybe." It isn't too mean. Viktor taking digs at him is familiar and good for him in the long run.

Jayce puts out his hand in a silent offer to take Viktor's notes too so he doesn't have to worry about them and the cane at the same time. That's the whole point of having a giant best friend. You never have to carry anything again if you don't want to. "Oh so you're manipulating me. To what end? So I'm always willing to do all the heavy lifting?" This may or may not have a slightly flirty edge to it.

"Yes, Jayce. You've caught me. The entire time I've known you, everything has been transactional. I keep you around for your good looks and stroke your ego so that you'll lift unwieldy objects for me."

Clearly, he has been using Jayce all along, but after a moment he relents and hands off a few things, though he still slots a few notebooks under his arm as they make their way out. He does, at least, let Jayce get the door. Now that the sun is down, the temperature is much more pleasant, and Viktor allows himself a long exhale as he tries to shake off some of the stress of the day (and the last twenty minutes).

He locks the door behind them. Then, as always, he pushes forward.

"I'm in agreement with regards to our financial situation, but we need to do something about our living arrangements. Having you sleep on the floor is untenable."

Edited 2022-04-17 00:03 (UTC)

"You think I'm good-looking?" Yes, that is absolutely the only thing he takes out of that reply, although he also just likes when Viktor is being sarcastic at him. He takes whatever he's handed and gets the door. The cooler temperature is always appreciated because he runs so hot, but it hasn't stopped him from wearing their formal looks. Although he has looser clothes for forging. Jayce has ridiculously long strides but he is very skilled at always going Viktor's speed no matter what without it looking awkward. Years of training.

"Trust me, that is financial priority number one. Since we will have pretty regular funds coming in, there will probably be rent options soon enough. An actual bed would be ideal." Jayce is young enough that sleeping on the floor doesn't actually hurt him, but it is awkward and he worries about Viktor tripping over him in the middle of the night and hurting himself.

They could absolutely get a second room for Jayce, he could stay at the inn itself, but neither of them have brought it up nor would they.

"They put your face on an airship. They sell it on merchandise." Viktor sounds entirely disbelieving--surely Jayce is aware of his own objective attractiveness. "You're incorrigible. One day, I'll beat you to death."

He does not go so far as to actually whack Jayce with anything while they walk, but that's more a function of his hands being full than anything else. It's comfortable, falling into step as they've done a thousand times before, and he can already feel the argument of only a few minutes ago slipping into the background.

"We can find you a cot, in the meantime. If we sleep poorly, it's just going to affect our work."

It's not lost on him, that the events of this evening were, perhaps, brought about (at least partially) by their increasingly uncomfortable living situation.

Edited 2022-04-17 02:54 (UTC)

"I didn't ask if other people think I'm good-looking." AKA yes he is absolutely aware that he is objectively attractive. His face is on an airship! Jayce may be pretty oblivious to being hit on or complimented, he probably only notices 15% of the comments, but Viktor thinking it would matter most. "No, you won't, you'd miss me. Because I'm impossible to dislike and you adore my intense sincerity."

And yep that's Jayce intentionally volleying back the compliments Viktor gave him in a playful way. He may be tired but when the two of them get bantering, it's always fun. This was them for seven years, it was just the past week or so in their world that became more complicated.

"I'll ask the inn owner and see what she says, if she has one I'll just carry it up." He wouldn't need help for that. These muscles have to be good for something. "You're thinking that we're being snappy with each other because of lack of good sleep." Telepathic, no, they know each other. "I think we should sleep in tomorrow. To test the theory." Also because Viktor is worn thin and he is the worst at letting himself sleep.

Viktor gapes at Jayce in disbelief for a protracted moment, then sticks out his crutch to whack him on the shins. It's not enough to hurt, of course, but maybe it's enough to trip him up. Make his point that this conversation is growing increasingly ridiculous. He wants to get back to the inn and get some rest.

"I think we both have a lot on our minds." Which is true--but the lack of sleep likely isn't helping. Even Viktor can admit when he needs to tap out. This is definitely one of those times, though suggesting that they sleep in is, perhaps, a bridge too far. "We'll see. I'm not committing to anything."

If he's up early, he's up early, and he'll get to work! That's just how it is.

Jayce does in fact stumble for a moment thanks to the whack and gasp in dramatic horror at it, only to laugh since he was messing around. He is considering that an unspoken 'yes I find you good-looking' answer and therefore going to feel smug about it.

"Fine, fine." Jayce gives in, because making him sleep in is very difficult, but maybe if he blots out everyone option of the sun getting in, it'll make it harder for Viktor to get jolted out of sleep. That's the plan as they head back, exhausted.

OPEN: We Vow To Keep Pressing Forward

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