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abraxaslogs2021-06-12 12:13 pm
abraxasmods) wrote in abraxaslogs2021-06-12 12:13 pm
Entry tags:
- !event,
- !intro log,
- !npc,
- !player event,
- abby littman; the lovers,
- abigail hobbs; the hanged man,
- achilles; the hierophant,
- adora; strength,
- adrienne peters; the empress,
- aerith gainsborough; the sun,
- alan wake; the magician,
- alhaitham; the hermit,
- alice elliot; the empress,
- alicent hightower; the tower,
- alina starkov; the hanged man,
- aloy; the hermit,
- altaïr ibn-la'ahad; the magician,
- alucard; the hierophant,
- amos burton; the lovers,
- anakin skywalker; judgement,
- anthony lockwood; the devil,
- apollo; the star,
- arthur hastings; the hanged man,
- astarion ancunín; the wheel of fortune,
- bartimaeus of uruk; the wheel of fortune,
- bay kennish; the star,
- belle; strength,
- benedikta harman; the devil,
- billy kaplan; the hanged man,
- boothill; the hierophant,
- brad bakshi; the wheel of fortune,
- brother cadfael; justice,
- bucky barnes; the hanged man,
- byleth eisner; the devil,
- caitlyn kiramman; strength,
- cal kestis; the hanged man,
- captain jack harkness; the hanged man,
- carl grimes; the empress,
- carmy berzatto; the magician,
- cassandra de rolo; strength,
- cassian andor; the tower,
- castiel; the hanged man,
- catra; the tower,
- cersei lannister; the devil,
- ches fields; the lovers,
- chris halliwell; the tower,
- cidolfus telamon; the hanged man,
- cirilla of cintra; the devil,
- claire fraser; the empress,
- claire novak; the hanged man,
- clarisse la rue; the chariot,
- clarke griffin; strength,
- claude von riegan; the wheel of fortune,
- clive rosfield; the tower,
- cloud strife; the hanged man,
- cole cassidy; the hanged man,
- commander shepard; judgement,
- coraline finch; the tower,
- courtier 6; death,
- daemon targaryen; the tower,
- daenerys targaryen; judgement,
- daisy johnson; strength,
- dan heng; the high priestess,
- dante; the devil,
- dean winchester; the lovers,
- diana prince; the empress,
- dion lesage; the emperor,
- dustin henderson; the sun,
- eddie dean; the sun,
- eddie kaspbrak; the lovers,
- eddie munson; the devil,
- edelgard von hresvelg; the emperor,
- edward teach; the devil,
- eli clark; the empress,
- elias bouchard; the wheel of fortune,
- elidibus; the high priestess,
- eliot waugh; the star,
- elrond; temperance,
- emet-selch; the emperor,
- eponine thenardier; the hanged man,
- erik lehnsherr; the hermit,
- esme frost; the hanged man,
- estinien wyrmblood; the hermit,
- ezra bridger; strength,
- fandaniel; the hanged man,
- father maxwell; the wheel of fortune,
- felix fraldarius; the magician,
- finn; strength,
- frank castle; the hermit,
- g'raha tia; the lovers,
- gabriel; the wheel of fortune,
- galadriel; the hierophant,
- gale dekarios; the lovers,
- garrus vakarian; justice,
- geralt of rivia; the hanged man,
- gideon nav; strength,
- goro; the chariot,
- haelva lueltar; the magician,
- harley quinn; the wheel of fortune,
- harrowhark nonagesimus; the magician,
- heather montgomery; the magician,
- hector; the magician,
- hendrik; death,
- henry creel; the hierophant,
- hilda goneril; the lovers,
- himeka sui; the fool,
- homelander; judgement,
- hornet; strength,
- hythlodaeus; the empress,
- inara serra; temperance,
- inej ghafa; the hierophant,
- iris black; the hanged man,
- istredd; the high priestess,
- jack frost; the fool,
- jack kline; the sun,
- jack skellington; the fool,
- jack townsend; the moon,
- jacob frye; the sun,
- jaime lannister; judgement,
- james sunderland; the hermit,
- james t. kirk; the tower,
- jaskier; the sun,
- jasper; judgement,
- jayce talis; the magician,
- jerry pascal; the sun,
- jesper fahey; the wheel of fortune,
- jessica jones; strength,
- jill warrick; death,
- jinora; the world,
- jo harvelle; strength,
- john blake; the tower,
- jolie ann harmony; justice,
- jon sims; the high priestess,
- jon snow; the emperor,
- jonathan crane; the magician,
- jonathan emmet reid; the empress,
- jordan hennessy; the moon,
- joseph kavinsky; the devil,
- joshua rosfield; death,
- julia wicker; the tower,
- julie lawry; the wheel of fortune,
- jyn erso; the tower,
- kai parker; the fool,
- kaveh; the star,
- kay faraday; the fool,
- kaz brekker; the chariot,
- kell maresh; the magician,
- kelson haldane; the tower,
- kenzo tenma; the empress,
- kiryu kazuma; the tower,
- klaus hargreeves; the fool,
- koby; death,
- kol mikaelson; the hanged man,
- kyle; the hanged man,
- kylo ren; the tower,
- lan wangji; the hierophant,
- laura hawley; death,
- lenore; the lovers,
- leon belmont; the wheel of fortune,
- leonard mccoy; the lovers,
- lestat de lioncourt; judgement,
- lila bard; the fool,
- linhardt von hevring; the high priestess,
- link; strength,
- lloyd henreid; the lovers,
- loki; the devil,
- lord john grey; justice,
- louis de pointe du lac; the lovers,
- louis; death,
- lucifer; the devil,
- lucy maclean; the hierophant,
- majima goro; the hanged man,
- malyen oretsev; strength,
- marc spector; the tower,
- marianne von edmund; the hanged man,
- martin blackwood; the empress,
- marty mcfly; the hanged man,
- mat cauthon; the wheel of fortune,
- matt murdock; the tower,
- matthias helvar; the lovers,
- max mayfield; the hermit,
- merrin; strength,
- michael ralston; death,
- michael; the emperor,
- misty day; the lovers,
- morgana pendragon; the tower,
- nadine cross; the world,
- nanaue; the fool,
- natasha romanoff; the lovers,
- nathan drake; the fool,
- nebula; death,
- nero (dmc); the chariot,
- nero (drakengard); the devil,
- nicholas d. wolfwood; the lovers,
- nico di angelo; death,
- nikolai lantsov; the fool,
- norman jayden; the hermit,
- oberon; the hanged man,
- obi-wan kenobi; death,
- percy jackson; the lovers,
- peter maximoff; the devil,
- peter parker (comics); strength,
- peter parker (mcu); strength,
- petra macneary; strength,
- phoenix wright; the lovers,
- prince wilhelm; the tower,
- princess zelda; the high priestess,
- queen maeve; the hanged man,
- quentin coldwater; death,
- randall flagg; the tower,
- relena peacecraft; death,
- reno; the chariot,
- rey; the star,
- rhaenyra targaryen; the emperor,
- rhy maresh; the lovers,
- richie tozier; the hanged man,
- rinwell; the magician,
- rita farr; the star,
- river tam; the fool,
- robin buckley; the hanged man,
- rocket; the chariot,
- roland deschain; death,
- ronan lynch; the moon,
- rowena macleod; the high priestess,
- ruaidrigh mac raith; the hanged man,
- sabine; the empress,
- sam wilson; justice,
- sam winchester; the hierophant,
- samus aran; strength,
- sandor clegane; strength,
- sansa stark; the high priestess,
- sasarai; judgement,
- satoru gojo; the devil,
- sebille kaleran; the hanged man,
- sephiroth; the tower,
- shione daymore; the hermit,
- shuten-douji; the devil,
- some ovmennet; the empress,
- sophia of yaldabaoth; the world,
- stephen strange; death,
- steve harrington; the lovers,
- steve rogers; the hierophant,
- suguru geto; the hanged man,
- susan delgado; the lovers,
- sylvain gautier; the sun,
- sypha belnades; the tower,
- taylor hebert; death,
- teddy roberts; death,
- thancred waters; strength,
- thane krios; death,
- the commander (syrlya); strength,
- the darkling; death,
- the doctor; the fool,
- the medicine seller; the hierophant,
- theodore blackwell; temperance,
- thor odinson; the fool,
- tifa lockhart; the empress,
- tony stark; the magician,
- travis guidry; the chariot,
- triss merigold; the empress,
- urianger augurelt; death,
- vash the stampede; death,
- vi; the lovers,
- viktor; death,
- wanda maximoff; the hanged man,
- wei wuxian; the tower,
- wen kexing; the tower,
- will solace; the empress,
- wrench; the hanged man,
- wylan van eck; the magician,
- y'shtola rhul; the high priestess,
- yennefer of vengerberg; the chariot,
- yuffie kisaragi; the tower,
- yuri lowell; the tower,
- zagreus; the chariot,
- zelda schiff; the magician,
- zhou zishu; strength,
- zoya nazyalensky; strength
EVENT #1
EVENT #1
Welcome to our very first event! This event will be divided into two parts: one for honored guests, and one for prisoners. There are some opportunities for characters to go to the opposite group's event, so read on below and make sure to check out the accompanying OOC plotting post for extra details!
This event takes place ICly from June 14th to June 19th.
It's June, and that means the annual Summer Festival in Castle Thorne. The newcomers are causing quite a buzz and, for the first time in ten years, a representative from the increasingly independent city of Nott has agreed to attend. The representative, Lyle Vela, has a lot of political sway in Nott and the impression he takes back with him will affect whether Nott begins to repair relations with the rest of Thorne or moves even further towards independence.
But that's not all there is to do here! The residents of the city surrounding Castle Thorne are intensely curious about the newcomers and several of the events at the Summer Festival have been designed by the mages to show them off. At some point you may begin to feel more like a prized pony than an honored guest, but there are rewards and gifts and good food to be had for all, so what's the harm in showing off a little?
The festival runs all week (June 14th-19th) and the list of events are as follows:
If your character has been imprisoned but you want them to attend the Festival, an honored guest may lobby for them to stay behind and help set up. It'll be work, but they can sneak off to have a bit of fun and it won't be as difficult as what's in store for the rest of them. If you wish to have your character stay behind, please post to the OOC plotting post. Because we know that claustrophobic tunnel horror isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, there is no limit to the amount of prisoners who can stay behind.
Good news, prisoners! You get some time away from your cells in the beautiful snow-covered mountains of northern Thorne. A volunteer work opportunity has arisen, and you are all volunteers. If you do well enough at your assigned task, perhaps your prisoner status will be re-evaluated. Or perhaps your supervisor will take all the credit for themselves and throw you right back where you came from. Life's unfair sometimes! You'll at least be given a nice set of boots and heavier clothes to keep you warm.
Your task: to harvest as much crystal as you can from the burrow of a Giant Frostwurm. From June to September, the Frostwurm hibernates and is generally non-aggressive. Huge and territorial, Giant Frostwurms are only rarely encountered and are considered endangered by Thornean biologists. All known Frostwurm habitats are marked and harvested once every few years as the crystals that grow on its body are highly valuable for use in medicine and, erm, recreation although the latter is frowned upon by Thornean authorities. Don't worry, you don't have to touch the Frostwurm itself, it sheds every now and then and leaves a healthy supply of crystals in the tunnels of it burrow.
That's not to say it will be an easy task. There's a reason they're using "volunteer" prison labor, after all. The tunnels are deep and labyrinthine, and it's easy enough to get lost down there and wander in circles until you die of thirst or starvation. The crystals themselves also have a certain disorienting effect that turns hallucinogenic after prolonged exposure and, because of the Frostwurm's unique psychic properties, hallucinations can be shared between individuals. Like a contagion, spending time around someone who is hallucinating can cause it to 'catch'. These hallucinations may be pleasant or frightening, but the only cure is to get out of the tunnels and away from the crystals for a while.
Tunnel cave-ins are also a possibility, in which case you best start digging and hope you choose up. Getting too lost can result in an encounter with the Frostwurm, and while it needs to conserve energy and won't give chase, it'll bite or whip at you with its tail if you get too close. Both prisoners and supervisors are instructed not to kill the Frostwurm under any circumstances, even if it means sacrificing someone in their party. They're endangered, after all!
If your character has been welcomed to Thorne but you still wish to go on the Frostwurm excursion, they can volunteer to be a supervisor. There are currently 24 prisoners and they will be divided into groups of 3, so we will accept a maximum of 8 supervisors (potentially less depending on how many prisoners stay behind to help with the festival). Be aware that supervisors will be in danger as well, and they will be punished if they try to help the prisoners escape, but unlike the prisoners they will be paid for their efforts and seen as having initiative by the Thornean authorities. If you wish to be a supervisor, volunteer on our OOC plotting post.
The timeline for this part of the event is as follows:
Questions
Will there be any mod NPCing during this event?
The three visits with Lyle will be NPCed but other than that, no. Feel free to play random townies, guards, or black market sellers on your own!
Can I try to free the prisoners/can my imprisoned character break out?
Ambrose will be willing to hear cases for prisoner freedom after the event has concluded. You can try to smuggle the prisoners out of town during the festival or escape from the mountain, and prisoners can try to escape, but they will be caught and punished at this stage. Please post to the appropriate header below if you wish to have your character try!
Are the prisoners still powerless?
Yep! Don't worry, inmates, there'll be opportunities to be released for good behavior OR do a prison break soon. More details about the status of the prisoners will be released after this event.
Can my prisoner or supervisor character break away from their assigned group?
Yes, the tunnels are disorienting so individuals may wander off, especially if they are hallucinating. Feel free to interact with anyone and everyone.
What can the hallucinations entail?
Anything! They can think they're being chased, imagine a portal to a green oasis or even scenery from their own homeworld, and anything else you can come up with. They won't be real or tangible so nothing will remain of them once the affected characters are recovered (unless a special mod consequence is given...) but as stated above they can be shared between characters so everyone can see the same thing.
Can my character attend both the Summer Festival and the mission in the tunnels?
Alas, no. Both events will take the whole week, so it's one or the other!
This event takes place ICly from June 14th to June 19th.
The Summer Festival (Honored Guests)
It's June, and that means the annual Summer Festival in Castle Thorne. The newcomers are causing quite a buzz and, for the first time in ten years, a representative from the increasingly independent city of Nott has agreed to attend. The representative, Lyle Vela, has a lot of political sway in Nott and the impression he takes back with him will affect whether Nott begins to repair relations with the rest of Thorne or moves even further towards independence.
But that's not all there is to do here! The residents of the city surrounding Castle Thorne are intensely curious about the newcomers and several of the events at the Summer Festival have been designed by the mages to show them off. At some point you may begin to feel more like a prized pony than an honored guest, but there are rewards and gifts and good food to be had for all, so what's the harm in showing off a little?
The festival runs all week (June 14th-19th) and the list of events are as follows:
Sparring Contest: Honored guests will be asked to spar in front of an audience. Depending on the time of the week the fight takes place in, some guests may have some or most of their powers back, but the audience is here to see a show and just trampling your opponent in seconds won't do much for them. Try to add some spice to it: a good narrative and a close fight are much more enthralling. You may decide the winner of the fight between yourselves or ask the mods to roll for an outcome below. Prisoners who stay behind can sneak into this event but will not have their powers.At the end of the festival on June 19th, there will be a huge feast available with all manner of fancy food and some alcohol if you wish to get a little drunk. Beware, Thornean alcohol is strong! Prisoners who stayed behind to help out with the festival can easily slip in and take some food and drink for themselves.
Magic Demonstration: Show everyone what you can do and demonstrate a Thornean magic spell in front of an audience. This should be a simple beginner spell such as a smaller elemental magic spell, some minor healing, a small illusion, and so on. Feel free to decide what spell you'd like your character to perform and post to the header below so the mods can roll for your character's success when performing it in front of the audience! Regardless of success, your character can learn the chosen spell by the end of the event. Unfortunately, prisoners cannot access this event.
The Black Market: Castle Thorne is much less secure during open festivals than it is during the rest of the year, so it's no surprise that some shady characters have managed to sneak in. They're trading potions and magical items, and luckily enough for the penniless newcomers, they're interested in things other than money. They may ask for some blood, saliva, or the chance to perform a spell on the hapless newcomer. Prisoners are welcome in the black market. Please post to the header below to see what item your character gets from the event (and what spell they'll be subjected to if you choose that option).
Visit with the Representative: Near the end of the Festival, three honored guests will be chosen to have one-on-one audiences with Lyle Vela in the hopes of impressing him. Ambrose hasn't had the time to get to know each guest individually yet, so he's asked that they choose the three candidates among themselves. If you wish you have your character volunteer for this position, please make a case for their suitability under the header below! If your character is not running for this position, have them vote for another character. Prisoners who stay behind may vote as well.
If your character has been imprisoned but you want them to attend the Festival, an honored guest may lobby for them to stay behind and help set up. It'll be work, but they can sneak off to have a bit of fun and it won't be as difficult as what's in store for the rest of them. If you wish to have your character stay behind, please post to the OOC plotting post. Because we know that claustrophobic tunnel horror isn't going to be everyone's cup of tea, there is no limit to the amount of prisoners who can stay behind.
In the Tunnels (Prisoners)
Good news, prisoners! You get some time away from your cells in the beautiful snow-covered mountains of northern Thorne. A volunteer work opportunity has arisen, and you are all volunteers. If you do well enough at your assigned task, perhaps your prisoner status will be re-evaluated. Or perhaps your supervisor will take all the credit for themselves and throw you right back where you came from. Life's unfair sometimes! You'll at least be given a nice set of boots and heavier clothes to keep you warm.
Your task: to harvest as much crystal as you can from the burrow of a Giant Frostwurm. From June to September, the Frostwurm hibernates and is generally non-aggressive. Huge and territorial, Giant Frostwurms are only rarely encountered and are considered endangered by Thornean biologists. All known Frostwurm habitats are marked and harvested once every few years as the crystals that grow on its body are highly valuable for use in medicine and, erm, recreation although the latter is frowned upon by Thornean authorities. Don't worry, you don't have to touch the Frostwurm itself, it sheds every now and then and leaves a healthy supply of crystals in the tunnels of it burrow.
That's not to say it will be an easy task. There's a reason they're using "volunteer" prison labor, after all. The tunnels are deep and labyrinthine, and it's easy enough to get lost down there and wander in circles until you die of thirst or starvation. The crystals themselves also have a certain disorienting effect that turns hallucinogenic after prolonged exposure and, because of the Frostwurm's unique psychic properties, hallucinations can be shared between individuals. Like a contagion, spending time around someone who is hallucinating can cause it to 'catch'. These hallucinations may be pleasant or frightening, but the only cure is to get out of the tunnels and away from the crystals for a while.
Tunnel cave-ins are also a possibility, in which case you best start digging and hope you choose up. Getting too lost can result in an encounter with the Frostwurm, and while it needs to conserve energy and won't give chase, it'll bite or whip at you with its tail if you get too close. Both prisoners and supervisors are instructed not to kill the Frostwurm under any circumstances, even if it means sacrificing someone in their party. They're endangered, after all!
If your character has been welcomed to Thorne but you still wish to go on the Frostwurm excursion, they can volunteer to be a supervisor. There are currently 24 prisoners and they will be divided into groups of 3, so we will accept a maximum of 8 supervisors (potentially less depending on how many prisoners stay behind to help with the festival). Be aware that supervisors will be in danger as well, and they will be punished if they try to help the prisoners escape, but unlike the prisoners they will be paid for their efforts and seen as having initiative by the Thornean authorities. If you wish to be a supervisor, volunteer on our OOC plotting post.
The timeline for this part of the event is as follows:
June 14th: Prisoners will be led from their cells in chains to a Thornean fast-travel portal (a glowing circle of neon light) that will take them about a mile away from the Frostwurm's burrow. It's cold and the air is thin, so they'll be given the rest of the day to rest and acclimate before being sent inside.Please visit the accompanying OOC plotting post to choose your team of three, and a supervisor if your group has one (groups without PC supervisors will be sent off on their own with no NPC supervisor). This event is designed to have some element of risk to it (but no one will die, don't worry!) so while you can plan what happens to your characters out with your group if you like, we also encourage you to post an action or two to our IC Consequences header below and leave it up to chance. Who knows, something awesome might happen.
June 15th-18th: Down in the tunnels with you! Characters are sent into the tunnels and can experience any of the effects listed above. If your party makes it out after sunset they'll be permitted to sleep in a tent, if they're lost then they will sleep in the tunnels. On the 18th, anyone who comes out alive will not have to go back in and the supply of crystals will be counted.
June 19th: Today would be the day of the Summer Festival, if they were back at Castle Thorne, but their captors aren't completely merciless. The prisoners and supervisors will be marched back to the fast-travel portal, where a small feast has been set up for them. It isn't as glamorous as what's back in Thorne, but it's the best meal the prisoners have been served since they arrived. And, as a bonus, the guards might slip you some alcohol if you did a good job in collecting the crystals.
Will there be any mod NPCing during this event?
The three visits with Lyle will be NPCed but other than that, no. Feel free to play random townies, guards, or black market sellers on your own!
Can I try to free the prisoners/can my imprisoned character break out?
Ambrose will be willing to hear cases for prisoner freedom after the event has concluded. You can try to smuggle the prisoners out of town during the festival or escape from the mountain, and prisoners can try to escape, but they will be caught and punished at this stage. Please post to the appropriate header below if you wish to have your character try!
Are the prisoners still powerless?
Yep! Don't worry, inmates, there'll be opportunities to be released for good behavior OR do a prison break soon. More details about the status of the prisoners will be released after this event.
Can my prisoner or supervisor character break away from their assigned group?
Yes, the tunnels are disorienting so individuals may wander off, especially if they are hallucinating. Feel free to interact with anyone and everyone.
What can the hallucinations entail?
Anything! They can think they're being chased, imagine a portal to a green oasis or even scenery from their own homeworld, and anything else you can come up with. They won't be real or tangible so nothing will remain of them once the affected characters are recovered (unless a special mod consequence is given...) but as stated above they can be shared between characters so everyone can see the same thing.
Can my character attend both the Summer Festival and the mission in the tunnels?
Alas, no. Both events will take the whole week, so it's one or the other!
go to the OOC plotting post
no subject
"...Which would mean it would be better if neither of us were injured. Working together would give us a greater chance."
no subject
"...You know full well that your talents lay in the manipulation of aether," he says, glancing away from her. "Until that power is returned to you, you must needs use caution."
no subject
Himeka is not someone that can just stand idly by no matter the circumstances.
"I am aware," she says slowly with more bite than she intends. "And I am--"
No. That is not true.
"--I can be extremely cautious."
Though she has yet to prove it.
"But I am not wholly reliant on aether either, just as you aren't."
no subject
"...I spent many a year training in weapons before aetheric techniques became involved," he adds, feeling the need to back up his point. "From what I recall, you cannot say the same. A foundation in sorcery will not provide you the same instincts."
no subject
"I was spearfishing long before I was dabbling in any sort of sorcery." Which is true, going untrained in her aetherical abilities for the majority of her life. What she began in her training as a priestess was largely overtaken by the Arcanists and later the Conjurer's guilds later on. "I know that it's not as impressive as any of your lancework nor is it as pertinent if I had a rapier. I know."
But she knows it is not spearfishing that gave her a headway in life--it is her magical abilities, whether it was in the Ruby Sea or beyond. Without it, without the Echo--what does she really have going for her? Now more than in prison do such thoughts have weight, but she stubbornly refuses to indulge in them.
"But I refuse to be useless."
no subject
"You would not be made useless by holding back from this one task," he insists, growling softly. "You are hunting now, are you not? You can gather natural materials better than I. Your ability to spear a beast is not your entire worth."
He's trying to keep himself level, to sound like he's being only reasonable. There's certainly more to it than that, though.
no subject
"I won't sit idly by. At least let me come with you. You need someone to watch your back." It is a request, yes, but if he asked her not to she would still follow. Eponine is safe back at their camp for now. Himeka could do more good here and now.
no subject
"I don't need that," he says, an extra level of defensiveness arising that wasn't there before. "For years I've watched my own back, and it'll be no different now."
He diverts his eyes, no longer looking at her, his body held tense as if pointedly holding something in.
no subject
It is not often that they have an actual disagreement--in some weird way despite outward appearances they have usually been on the same wavelength. It is also not often that she stand her ground so wholly, but this is not something Himeka is willing to back down on. For several reasons.
She steps around, trying to force him to look at her.
"If you say you don't need that, then fine. Maybe I do?"
It feels silly to tag along just so she feels like she is making a difference. Himeka may not fully believe that he doesn't need back up either--he may be more equipped than she is at the present moment, but that is no reason to leave a friend to danger when she may be of help in some way. Even if it is just watching from the bushes to make sure he doesn't get mauled.
"I would not have made it this far without you--in many ways." With so many of her comrades. "Maybe I cannot do this on my own. So please. I want to try."
no subject
Yet, he remembers clearly the day she had fallen in battle against Elidibus by no fault of her own - circumstances betraying her despite all her skill and all her blessings. Had he not been so lucky, present in just that moment... it had laid bare her vulnerability. There would some things that not even the Blessing of Light could defend her from.
This is one of them, and there's not been a moment that reality has left his mind.
"Eorzea needs you!" he says with the force of a breaking dam. "The Scions need you! But without them here, it falls to me to ensure your return. Were you to perish attempting to watch over me... I could not..." He shakes his head. He doesn't know what he'd do. He doesn't know how he'd live with it. "Our world hangs in the balance, and this is my one hope of saving it... of living up to the oath I only just swore."
He exhales in a hiss, finally able to draw this excess of emotion inward.
"The world can do without the Azure Dragoon. It cannot do without you."
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She knew he is doing his best to look out for her--for all of them, really--but this is not what she wants to hear at all.
It's what she hears all too often.
Eorzea needs you!
Rather than bolster her confidence or purpose, she feels herself slowly deflate. Eorzea has existed much longer than she.
The Scions need you!
The Scions continued on in her absence, paving the way for her. There is no one step Himeka Sui has taken forward that was not guided or aided by the actions of her comrades, she feels. Isn't it more that she needs them?
Like she needs Estinien right now? But not a Scion--just as a friend. Because that has always been more important to her than titles and alliances. Yet here he is, taking them all on as one--the mantle of their entire team when both of them are essentially powerless. She never asked this of him, yet she has been relying on him to guide her through all of this since the moment she arrived, even in the smallest of ways.
How cruel...
Himeka bows her head for a moment as she swallows. Her every instinct is to back down--she may be contrary at times but she doesn't actively like angering her companions intentionally, and this is far from poking the bear for amusement. She has long since understood the gravity of the tasks they all undertake.
"...May I ask you something?" she asks quietly, turning her gaze back up to him. "Were I not the Warrior of Light and you not a Scion nor the Azure Dragoon...what would you do?"
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Since the start of the mining trip, and now in the dizzying freedom of the wilderness, though, it has become an inevitability. All of their choices matter now, both for the immediate future and for the long-term fate of everything they hold dear. Consciously or not, he's found himself taking the lead... if there was a chance that his words or deeds could save her, could he live with himself if he didn't try?
What she says puts pause to all of that, though. It's soft and deeply earnest, in a way that might break his heart. He knows full well that she is not often one to expose herself that way.
It forces him to consider his own truth. What would he do? What if she were Aymeric or Alphinaud, who were somewhat lesser on the scale of global importance but just as important to him? The answer is there, if he only dare think of it. It was easy to tell Aymeric to stand down when he could phrase it in terms of preserving the future of Ishgard, as an appropriate delegation of power, as a matter of tactics. It was easy to warn Alphinaud off from following when he could say that he was skilled but too young for this particular fight, that it would be foolish and a waste to attempt it.
The import or inexperience of those involved has always been a convenient ace up his sleeve. For Himeka, her central role in Eorzea's salvation has made it so he has rarely had to consider the alternatives. Yet, when faced with it, it's so much easier to play the realist than to admit that he's afraid.
"Were I only Estinien Wyrmblood, and you only Himeka Sui... I would no longer have an excuse." Matching her vulnerability, he seems hollowed out by the admission. "Would I?"
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He isn't so different, is he? Except now he takes on the title of Scion and, much as he had done as the Azure Dragoon, holds that name and all that comes with it tightly.
Much like everything else she has encountered this far, she didn't question this either--all Himeka did is get whisked away into another adventure with a comrade who would doubtlessly help ferry her along. When push came to shove she would put her own life on the line, yes, but never has she been forced to carry the burden of Eorzea alone. Even in some of her darkest hours, when she felt her entire soul crack and slowly succumbed to the Light did her comrades refuse to leave her side. Himeka would not admit how set she had been on giving it all up at that moment for one final confrontation ere she be consumed and potentially become a new agent of chaos.
Foolish. And not that long ago.
Though she trusts Estinien with her life and knows he feels the same, such things can be gone unsaid and easily understood. This? Not so much. She watches Estinien deflate as well, turning inward as he pries into the recesses of his mind, corners he would doubtlessly prefer to leave unattended to. Yet when he speaks again, despite the somber nature of their conversation, Himeka can only feel herself smile. Just a little.
"No, you wouldn't."
She takes a moment to stab the blunt end of her spear into the snow.
"I value you as the Azure Dragoon and as a Scion, yes, but...most of all I value you as a friend." She shakes her head. "But I haven't done a great job of that, have I? I didn't realize...This is not your burden to bare alone."
All the Scions, so willing to sacrifice bits of themselves for others. So willing to do that for her. For the Warrior of Light.
"Eorzea needs the both of us. But right now, Himeka just needs Estinien."
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How can he consider what Estinien, untitled, would do when he isn't even sure who that is, yet? For all his wandering, it was only when he joined the Scions that he finally felt like he was taking a role somewhere - and that was for his lance as well. Sometimes, it's still odd to think that he has friends at all, even after all these years.
"Forgive me," he says. "I did not mean to suggest that your utility was all that mattered to me." He wishes there was somewhere more welcoming for them to sit and talk, but snowy barrens are all they have. "...Everything I have, I have because of you... and Alphinaud, and... Aymeric." His gaze flickers to the ground again. "The thought of losing all of you at once... to watch you die in this wretched place and to have to live with that truth... if there was anything at all I could have done to stop it..."
He shakes his head. He thinks he's been maudlin enough for one day, but he feels like he owes her that much, at least.
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Words that may seem unlikely coming from one of her reputation, but so alike they are in many ways--how do you find out who you are this late in life? After so much has happened and you are, in many ways, so very accomplished? It feels selfish to feel lost yet the more she sees the less she feels she understands about herself. She had been too simple in her intentions. After spending so much time on the First, she made a promise to herself to look at her companions more closely.
It was Ishgard she saw burning again and again as a realization of her fears. How funny that a region such a far departure from her birthplace would feel like home.
Himeka holds out her hand, palm facing upwards.
"I will promise not to die only if you do the same."
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"In that regard, I would hate to disappoint," he says with a trace of humour returning to his voice. After all, he no longer expects or looks forward to dying in any sense. He wants to be able to use this second chance, he's just convinced that if anyone should have to give it up, it should be him.
...If she wants to take a more active role, though, he supposes he could share his thoughts a bit more clearly. In his own tunnel blindness, he's been pushing ahead without much room for question.
"...Truthfully, I know not what I'll do once we reach this city near the mountains," he says, carefully. "There's no telling what we'll face there, and if we'll have any chance at respite. If we are to aid those still imprisoned, we need to have our power returned... but I haven't the first idea how to do that."