[closed] while we stand in wonder it coolly disdains to destroy us

[princessvegas]

WHO: Julie, Wanda, Kylo and Stephen
WHEN: late May
WHERE: the Horizon
WHAT: Let's go talk to the Singularity
WARNINGS: TBD, probably none

[ After Julie got back from Aquila, she'd spent some time mulling over the conversation at the town hall, along with her own experience during the memory trading nightmare. There were so many things that made no sense, or that had missing pieces, leaving them unexplained. She'd gone to the Horizon, tried to talk to Steven. He was there, behind the bar, the first time she ever stepped into her domain, already completely made and populated. And, after months and months of extensive time amongst them, Julie has realized she can entirely control all of the people except him. Usually, he does what she would have wanted anyway, and that was enough to keep her from asking questions, but he's not like the others. He knows things, things that Julie doesn't, and maybe she'd always assumed that he knew names and drinks simply because she wanted him to be able to, but it is becoming clearer and clearer to her that there are other things at play. When she sought refuge from the memories in the Horizon, he didn't come to her when she wanted him to. Shouldn't that have been enough? And then, when she did spot him, they'd locked eyes and it wasn't like looking into a reflection of herself, the way it was when she saw the others. Instead, she saw something else, and was then instantly plunged into Kylo's memory.

She doesn't know what it was she saw, or why she saw it. Steven doesn't answer when she asks. He goes about his business as if nothing ever happened. It did, she knows it did. And if he won't answer, then there's only one other thing to do.

Julie had never been to the Singularity before. It was always there, looming in the distance, but she never found herself particularly compelled to go to it before. After all, wasn't it just a big rock? A magical one, sure, but still just a rock, no matter how close she stood to it. She's seen huge rocks before, what value was there in going up to this one? So she didn't. She just let the magic guide her around, to whatever she needed. It never failed.

When she decided to actually go to it, she decided she didn't want to do it alone. There's nothing scary about big rocks, but something in her made her want other people there. People who might actually be able to -- well, she doesn't actually expect them to understand, but she knows that they all have interest in the Singularity. That they might have some knowledge, be able to explain anything that happens there. People who have power of their own.

She sent the messages out individually, the night before. They were simple, for her, only the single question in her neat script, Will you come to the Singularity with me tomorrow?, followed by a time to meet in the common space, close to it. Slightly early out of vague nerves, Julie created a bench to wait and see if any of them actually show. And there she sits, less sparkly than normal, instead in flowing white trousers and a black cropped top, idly bobbing her foot. She doesn't look particularly relaxed about the whole thing, her arms crossed over her chest, her frame slightly tense, but neither does she seem extremely anxious.

Mostly, she just seems impatient. ]

Comments

heck yis let's go

[photophobic]

[Kylo peels out from a shadow as if he'd been part of the darkness this whole time, his curiosity suitably piqued. He and Julie had made a pact of sorts, after all, and even if they hadn't...

Well. He's fond. Not that anyone will hear it from him.

He's looking a Kylo Ren flavour of normal today, the volcanic aspects of his Horizon appearance lessened if not entirely vanished— and thankfully (regrettably?) he's decided to go with full-length battle robes for this particular adventure, rather than his usual bare-chested lava warrior getup. Whatever his intent, Kylo's presentation doesn't actually make him feel any less oversized or do much to lessen the vague, floating sense of menace he seems to carry with him no matter what he's doing. The awkward, tugging twist of his lips as he works around the concept of a smile is no less unpracticed and mildly offputting than the last time he offered it to her.]

You called.

[sorser]

[Stephen arrives with not less dramatic flair, but rather a different degree of it. The flutter of thick fabric heralds his own arrival, as does the faint shadow that lengthens as his boots touch the ground. His Cloak of Levitation—quite helpful for stretches of travel, whether in the “real” world or the Horizon—falls neatly at his back, seeming to lose all of its sentience and swaying with each approaching step.

Stephen raises a brow, casting a look between Julie and Kylo, then back to Julie again. It passes for acknowledgment, even if the implied question of why he’s been asked here remains hanging above their heads. The details of it, at least.]

So. [He starts, casting his look back out towards the direction of the Singularity.] We’re taking a little trip, are we?

[carmesi]

[wanda's expectations for company are minimal, having received the message from julie the night before and their conversation devolving into something less tied to the objective of this visit. something about needing to meet steven. anyway, it's not even an attempt to show off, really, when she teleports right next to julie on the bench, appearing right beside the pink-haired woman and leaning a little onto her.

there's familiarity in female friendships with wanda, and she is totally not trying to fill in the void of one natasha romanoff.

also, are the men invited to this party the ones dressing all dramatic, in their battles robes and levitation cloaks? wanda's dressed like she's matching the other woman's energy with a leather jacket and short, red dress and combat boots. she doesn't have much to add to the series of non-greetings, waiting instead for julie to say something.]

[princessvegas]

[ Julie smiles, perhaps slightly relieved that any of them showed, let alone all of them. She didn't know how to explain the full breadth of what she suspects; she still doesn't. They're just feelings, instincts, but they're so strong that she can't ignore them.

Wanda popping in makes Julie start a little, then laugh, but she gestures between Wanda and Kylo, unsure if they know each other. ] Do y'all know each other? Wanda, Kylo. Kylo, Wanda. [ She's helping.

Taking a deep breath, Julie looks up and then slowly starts to speak. ]

Right. So, with all the fuss about the memory things, and the Singularity suckin' the world in on itself, and just -- y'know, just everythin', I wanted to... I wanted to go to the Singularity. I never been to it before, and I think maybe that, if we go to it, we might actually learn somethin', instead of sittin' around and yellin' at each other about it. And you three are the best people I could think of to help with somethin' like that, so...

[ Her brow has knit up over the course of her vague explanation. The truth she's dancing around is that she wants to try and talk to the Singularity, which she is aware sounds dumb as hell. But the truth is that she doesn't know what she's going to find when she does it. It seems like a good idea to keep her expectations low. ]

[photophobic]

[Thanks to his natural abilities and the various reference points he's collected over the course of their acquaintance, Julie's feelings slide into a measure of focus that leads Kylo's natural curiosity right back to the knit of her brow and the hesitance in her voice— but if he knows the reason, he makes no comment. People don't tend to enjoy having their motivations examined in public, and while Kylo doesn't care to place other people's preferences above his own... well. He doesn't want to make Julie uncomfortable.

More uncomfortable.

He turns his attention to the others instead. Stephen, he knows. Wanda is an unknown. He eyes her curiously.]

Ronan and I visited the Singularity here in the Horizon not too long after we arrived, and I touched it during the Dimming. It will be interesting to see what has changed since then.

[sorser]

[Meanwhile, Stephen momentarily crosses his arms over his chest. Wanda's appearance is perhaps none too surprising; it means, at least, that the two had managed some manner of friendship, which he supposes was the point of nudging one to meet the other in the first place. Regardless of their standing--which remains cooperative if not sometimes awkwardly strained--he finds himself glad they could learn more about the Singularity together, even if this small excursion exists only because Julie called for it.

Speaking of, his mind returns to the present moment as Julie explains her reasoning, and he nods, acknowledging Kylo's remark.]

I got a sense of it during the Dimming, too. [Not an experience he'll forget anytime soon.] At the very least, we can compare and contrast.

[carmesi]

[everyone here seems to be somewhat familiar with the singularity, but wanda has only ever heard of it and its influence over them. kylo is a new name, a new face, so she looks at him for a moment before focusing her attention on julie's words. stephen does the reasonable thing in acknowledging her presence but ultimately not being overly redundant in greeting her.

also, at least they got a master of the mystic arts to deal with the logic of whatever they get to find.

she stands now, waiting for julie to follow.]

Shall we get going?

[princessvegas]

[ Rising, Julie nods once, hands idly running down the front of her trousers, then sets off toward the Singularity with a stride that is, quite frankly, far more confident than she actually feels. Even that bench (which disappears as they walk away from it) was the closest she's ever actually been to the Singularity -- Julie's entire experience with it has been living with its effects and whims over the past year.

She doesn't really know what to expect as they cross the flat, empty space that surrounds the Singularity. Julie is, vaguely, aware that the entire Horizon supposedly exists within the crater itself; she knows enough people who were present for the initial trip there that she's gleaned that detail. But within the Horizon, there seems to be a sort of barren zone directly ringed around the monolith, where no one has built their domain close, or put anything to fill in that nothingness. It makes sense, given the mixed feelings and general uncertainty they all seem to have about it. Maybe the Singularity doesn't want any of them that close. It's not something Julie has insight about.

But, after a momentary hesitation a few yards out, she walks directly up to it, less than arm's length away.

Again, she's not really sure what she's looking for. This close, the Singularity seems hauntingly, impossibly tall, and she lets her head fall back to look up at it. She can't even see where it ends. One arm raised slightly, she puts her hand flat on it -- it just feels like smooth stone, nothing particularly special -- and keeps looking up.

She thinks about the times she's needed to find something within the Horizon. Never has she had to actually search or actively look for it. She's always just... let herself feel where she needs to go. And she supposes that's what she needs to do now, to just feel without considering the logistics. Which works well for her, because Julie hates logistics.

With the slightest tilt of her head, she lets everything else melt away in her mind. Just her, her thoughts, and a big fucking magic rock that might be akin to God or something.

Hello? I'm pretty sure you can hear me. Are you there? ]

[abraxasmods]

[ There's an undeniable energy humming through the colossal monolith, detectable even at a reasonable distance. Those who have visited the Singularity before may have the sense that the towering statue is bigger than the last time they encountered it somehow, though the physical dimensions of the visible object are unchanged. Whether the growing strength of the Singularity is due to the efforts of the Summoned during the Dimming, a natural progression, or something else entirely is impossible to determine.

All of the Summoned in her collection of experts can sense the Singularity's power to some degree, but when she puts her hand to the unearthly stone and tries to communicate with it, Julie is able to detect something more: after a ponderous pause, she can sense something moving. Slow, grinding, stirring. There's no answer to her question, and no true response... but it feels very much like something is turning over, adjusting, listening. ]

[photophobic]

[Radiating his usual unnecessary intensity, Kylo stares up at the monolith— though his attention is briefly caught by Julie's intention as she presses her hand to the stone. His lips press together as if he's considering comment, but ultimately he decides to wait and see what, if anything, comes of the attempt. Some things are better observed from a distance sufficient to take in the whole rather than narrowing in on the details.

There is something new about the Singularity though, isn't there? His brow furrows.]

It seems like we had some effect after all.

[This comment is presumably for Stephen's ears, though Kylo doesn't turn to look at him. He's too transfixed by the statue and the energy pouring through it to tear his gaze away.]

[sorser]

[Stephen is of the same mind — he watches and waits, his look focused on the Singularity as Julie approaches it to make contact. His shoulders stiffen unknowingly; it is hard not to feel small and fragile, standing before this large and chiefly unknowable thing. A presence, in its own right.

Kylo's words catch in his ears, and he doesn't glance over to reply.]

Looks like it. Let's just hope it's been for the better.

[When he touched the Singularity, months ago, he had sensed its vast connection to innumerable worlds beyond his one. Now, though distant, he cannot help but feel as though something has shifted. Developed? He cannot tell.]

[carmesi]

[all wanda gets is a sense that it is responding in some way to julie—her mind catching on to this very fraught link of consciousness. her eyes wander to the other woman, concerned, because if from a distance she can catch on to something, she can imagine that the sensation is stronger with a hand pressed to it. she takes a step closer, just one, threading her fingers in anticipation to how it may affect julie.

much like stephen says, hopefully for the better.]

[princessvegas]

[ It seems almost silly to have brought the others now -- Julie can barely remember that they're present at all. The whole world, everything and everyone else, has drifted away, leaving only herself and the Singularity. All the hair on her arms, the back of her neck, stands on end, and she opens her eyes again, still staring up at it.

It doesn't speak to her, and she hadn't expected it to; she has long assumed that the Singularity cannot communicate like that. But she can feel an awakening, an eye opening to watch her with interest, like she's an ant in an ant farm who's developed the ability to knock on the glass and draw the attention of the humans. She can feel an almost sleepy sort of acknowledgment in it.

She isn't scared or nervous anymore. The sheer amount of power doesn't feel ominous and looming now, it feels wonderous. Like standing next to a blue whale or an elephant, something massive but gentle, except even bigger.

Julie doesn't really have words to describe the feeling, if she's honest. She has roused this thing but it bears her no ill will, even when it could destroy her in an instant. Her stomach turns slightly when she realizes that the closest she has ever felt to this moment was when the lightning descended. But that moment was fraught and cruel, and this... this is not.

Though she only knows how to think in words, really, the thoughts also come from somewhere deeper and less conscious, flowing toward the Singularity. Her hand never moves.

Hi. I know you probably can't exactly think the same as me, but tell me what I can do. Are you all right? Do you need something? ]

[abraxasmods]

[ Julie will feel a general sense of curiosity for a long moment. The vague sense of being noticed. Under her hand, the stone warms, just barely. As if a ray of sunshine was on that particular spot immediately prior to Julie's palm.

That warmth fades gradually, and the sensation of observation drifts away over the minutes as well. They are both replaced with a distant aura of restlessness, undefined want. ]

[photophobic]

[The overflow of Julie's wondrous rapture as she gazes up at the towering statue bleeds into Kylo's awareness— throwing his own growing disquiet into stark relief. There's no evidence of impending danger, and yet... something about the abandon with which Julie gives herself over to the goal of communicating with the Singularity unnerves him deeply. In Kylo's experience, power as vast as the energy he can feel pulsing through the monolith tends to subsume anyone attempting to access it.

Those in its thrall rarely thank anyone trying to pull them away before they can drown, though. Communion with the Force on any level can feel like the most incredible escape from the boundaries of one's physical form, and for someone like Julie, who had never had access to it before arriving in Abraxas? Kylo doesn't have to lean on his psychic abilities to know how addictive that sense of connection could be.

Perhaps it's time to intervene, or at least get his own perspective on whatever it is Julie feels she has stirred awake.]

What is it? What do you feel?

[But he doesn't wait to be answered, overwhelmed as he is by his own curiosity. Closing the distance, he reaches out to touch the stone...

...and instantly recoils with a sharp, hissing intake of breath, blinking rapidly in the aftermath.]

[sorser]

[Kylo isn't the only one overcome with curiosity. Stephen's own twists into a vague sense of concern, which solidifies when the man touches the Singularity, only to wrench away in the next second. Has something changed, something more than what he can sense, merely standing here as an observer?

The pulse of energy from the monolith is different from what he remembers, that much is true. But there must be something else, now, with a reaction like that. The fact that Julie isn't experiencing the same is further reason for inquiry.]

What's wrong?

[He asks with a frown shadowing his features, assuming that something is wrong. And, much like Kylo, he does not necessarily wait for a reply, and instead crosses the distance between himself and the Singularity, reaching out to place a hand flat against it.

His contact is brief. His mind roars with a dense, thick noise, loud and chaotic, disorienting and constant. Stephen retracts his hand as though he had just touched a hot surface.]

...That wasn't there last time.

[carmesi]

[it would be that the two men's reaction would have her hesitant to do the same—to touch the singularity with her hand—but she understands what it is like, to lean into her telepathic powers, to sense emotions and thoughts, a skill that is her own. standing where she is, she can feel a pulse of energy, indiscernible; nothing but the constant drum of it pervades even as kylo and stephen remove their hands—one recoiling, the other pulling away as if burned.

when she steps closer to julie and stands next to her, wanda puts her hand besides the other woman's. she lingers there—a sharp intake of breath, emotions hitching onto her throat, threatening to spill, eyes closed.]

There's... so much noise.

[and she can't figure out what is and isn't, all the information in her head feeling fuzzy.

it is with the scrunching of her nose and her brows furrowing that wanda finally pulls away, her fingers curling up into the palm of her hand. a little longer and she would have been submerged in a migraine, likely, pulled further by the sensation of something feeling awfully wrong—awfully too much.

she turns to julie, her hand on her outstretched arm, now.

just as they've discussed before—the similarities in their magic, the familiarity in how it feeds on their emotions, how they can control it, narrow it towards a center.]

Find your focus, Julie. [rear it towards it.] But don't force it.

[her hand slips away from her friend's arm.]

Is it saying anything?

[words, images, feelings—anything at all?]

[princessvegas]

[ Despite all their talking and movement right next to her, Julie genuinely forgets she's not alone. The warmth under her hand is so calming, like morning in spring, and she puts her other hand against it too, her eyes wide as she looks upward to the top.

There's a slight furrow between her eyes as she follows the... well, it's not really an emotion, not the way she's always felt them, and it's not hers. It's a shapeless kind of feeling that fills her entire body, but there's no focus, no definition to it. Just that impulse, sweeping through her mind, like a question that she doesn't have an answer to.

Oh, but how she wants to answer.

What do you want? Tell me, she begs, and then Wanda touches her arm and Julie starts. Everything else comes becomes clear again -- the line of the crater, the buildings beyond, the other three looking at her. Not alone.

She looks at them with a whisper of betrayal in her gaze, hurt that she has been so abruptly pulled back, then alarm as she can feel the Singularity's voice go silent inside her. Come back, she calls, and there's no response, nothing under her hands, nothing echoing inside her. Like wind passing through her ribs, slipping through her fingers, and she wants it back. ]

No. [ Her voice is small, desperate, and she looks back up at the monolith, steps closer like she can chase after the voice if she presses hard enough. ] No, you have to tell me. Tell me! Tell me what you want, goddamn it! Come back!

[ She's near tears. Her hands strike flat against the stone, like slaps that only serve to make her palms sting. Nothing happens. ]

[photophobic]

[It isn't the first time he's seen an outburst like this. Nor, if he's honest, is the howling desperation an experience he can't relate to. Julie's frustration is all too familiar, the ache of her longing a keening cry he's felt rip from his own lungs more than once. He doesn't try to argue with her— he knows it's futile, and the only thing she'll respond to is time.

He glances past Wanda and Julie to lock eyes with Stephen instead, still shaken by his own experience.]

It felt like... something beyond the strongest convergence in the Force I have ever encountered. Too much to process. And it's awake. It shouldn't... having that much power. It shouldn't be awake.

[sorser]

[Julie's outburst registers dimly, still reeling from the sensation of his head being too full of the Singularity's noise. He spares her a glance, wonders if he should try to calm her desperation, but his attention is hooked into Kylo's first when he's addressed.]

I... [He shakes his head, trying to clear it. Trying to find enough semblance of coherency to do little more than agree.]

If there's a consciousness in the Singularity, things have just gotten a lot messier. [Is there something trying to pry through the veil of their reality? Has something been slumbering there all along? What are its intentions? First impressions: a little overwhelming.] Because one way or another, it's going to turn its attention to those of us who keep asking for it.

[And whether or not that's a good thing remains to be seen. He turns to Julie again, unable to force himself to ignore her.]

Julie. Look at us -- are you all right?

[carmesi]

[if that's the case, is it prudent for julie at all to try and hear whatever it has to say to her? to let the voice of this consciousness overwhelm her? it would be hard to parse from just one point of connection at all, especially when it's something that's been existing for who knows how long.

wanda doesn't feel bad for interrupting, in that case. she grabs at julie's hand and pulls it away from the stone in the same breath that stephen asks if she is all right.]

You wanted us here. [for a reason, right?] Let us help you.

[princessvegas]

[ She looks like a deer in the headlights, eyes wide and darting between the three of them. Like she doesn't understand why they're here, like she doesn't remember. It takes a moment for that panic to fade, for her to have clarity again. Her eyelashes are still damp.

Focusing on Wanda, mostly because that's who's got her hand, Julie nods absently. The feeling of emptiness left behind is cavernous and cold, and she doesn't even know how to begin to wrap her mind around it, let alone discuss it. The desire to do something is excruciating, but she doesn't have any clue what she should be doing. What it wants.

How can they help when she doesn't even understand what she should be doing? ]

I'm not the one who needs help. [ Her brow knits and her voice is low, the words coming out with some measure of difficulty as she tries to force the feeling into something she can verbalize. ] There's somethin' -- there's somethin' I should be doin', I think. But...

[ She trails off, almost despondently. But she doesn't understand, doesn't know how or what. It didn't say, it only felt. ]

[photophobic]

[Kylo watches, brow furrowed and lips pressed together. Julie's turmoil is concerning, and he isn't much reassured by her assertion that the Singularity is asking for help, nebulously or otherwise.]

Anything that powerful... it will burn you out. Whether it means to or not. And then you'll be no use to anyone. None of us should be trying to connect with it alone.

[sorser]

He's right.

[He agrees with Kylo on all counts. Julie seems shaken, no matter what her experience with the monolith was, and Stephen is not sure encouraging further interaction--at least right now--is the best course of action.]

Whatever it is you think you should be doing, hold off for now. Give yourself some space to reexamine what you experienced before diving in a second time.

[carmesi]

[reasonable arguments are given, and all wanda can do is bolster her resolve and look over at julie—concerned for her well being. she must still be trying to understand what it is she saw, or felt, or whatever it is that got through. her hand still holds julie's, and so wanda tugs at it one more time and, consequently, the other woman, away from the singularity.]

Let's head back.

[hold off for now, come back again a second time. things to meditate upon.]

[princessvegas]

[ She still has one hand on the Singularity, but it's just a rock now. Nothing comes through, no noise, no senses, nothing at all. There is something very reluctant in the way she withdraws from it, a falter caused by fear that the voice will return and she won't be here.

Wanda tugs her away and Julie lets her, follows in her stead. Hold off, give yourself some space, like it's so easy. They didn't hear it, didn't feel it. They don't feel any of this like she does. No one does.

(Well, there might be one person. She has to figure that out.)

Turning her attention back to them, Julie nods and sighs. ] Okay. I will. It's not -- it's not goin' anywhere, I reckon.

[ And she does seem fairly accepting of this fact. Of the idea that she should stay away. That they don't know what they're dealing with.

But Julie's never let that stop her before.

She doesn't look back as they leave. ]