abraxaslogs | ( catch-all ) can we just start over

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( catch-all ) can we just start over

WHO: Stephen Strange & Various
WHAT: Post-canon update shenanigans and other things.
WHEN: Throughout the month of August.
WHERE: Thorne & the Horizon

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aurajen if you want to plot something! ))

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[ Is it truly good to be back, Thancred wonders, or is Stephen simply saying that? Though then Stephen's truncated explanation follows, drying any words up in his throat.

Altering the memory of an entire planet? That sounds chillingly similar to what Himeka had told them about the Kairos mechanism that Hermes had used, back in ancient times. Thancred's eyes widen as he draws the similarity, but apparently Stephen isn't done there.

An evil book, corruption, multiple dimensions? Yes, it is a lot, and yet none of it sounds outside the realm of possibility based on what Thancred has experienced.

She's here too, Stephen reveals, and Thancred's growing frown deepens as he puts two and two together. He might not have thought of it, had it not been for the warnings Wanda herself had issued about Stephen. ]

I presume you mean Wanda? [ In the memory of hers he'd witnessed, he'd seen the dark effects of her magick quite plainly. If that magick had been further corrupted, he can only imagine the damage it would have done. ] ... With all of that in mind, I suppose returning here would be a relief of sorts.

[Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference if she told him sooner or otherwise. Maybe that look of hers is right—in these castle halls?—but still, he thinks it’s a shame that she had to carry that upon herself for so long, perhaps the only ones to share her burden being those from her own world.

Stephen gives an apologetic little smile when she brushes her fingertips across his temples. He knows exactly what she’s referring to — his grey, probably much more prominent now that the “years” have passed between then and now.]

Where to start?

[Honestly, where. Even beyond the big events, the day-to-day keeps him busy as a sorcerer of Kamar-Taj. Always something to do, some magic to tend to, some spell to seal up tight around the edges of a blizzard might spill in through the Sanctum.]

The multiverse was thrown into turmoil not once, but twice. [That smile of his turns facetious as though to say, Hooray!] I did manage to keep it all from splitting apart, and save a teenager or two. But time, in general, has just been… tiring, Yennefer.

[His brows raise. Here, Stephen decides to take a drink, feeling the need for one.]

That’s right.

[So, what then—? Thancred’s spoken with Wanda, and at least enough to pull context from his generalized description. He lowers his glass, and his follow-up question should be relatively expected:]

You spoke with her, then?

[ part of yennefer wonders if it would have made a difference, if stephen had known. looking back on it now, she can recognize that so much of what was difficult was her isolation. that she had gone from able, capable, safe within her own power, to drifting alone through the days, unsure, terrified, alone. whether or not geralt or jaskier knew what happened had not helped, had not felt like a share of the burden, not when she felt like she was facing the emptiness all over again. just the same as the first time - alone, screaming, lost.

but they did not really know each other before then, did they? it had taken their quest, the month out on the road, the attack that had left stephen torn open, before it could come out at all.

for now, yennefer's attention is on him. on the grey in his hair, the years added to his eyes. his smile turns almost apologetic at her question, and yennefer's eyes flick from his temple to his face. it is his explanation that finally has her hand falling to his arm, setting it there more for...what? encouragement? just for a reason to keep that touch?

stephen has explained to her the concept of the 'multiverse' - something she understands, at a theoretical level, though once again the term seems a bit ridiculous - but it is the exhaustion in his face, even in his smile, that tells her more than anything. tiring he says, and yennefer nods. ] Time does have a way of exhausting you. At least your aging suits you. [ if stephen looks, he can probably see something of a joking curl to yennefer's smile. just a little bit of teasing. ]

What’s this? A silver lining?

[His lips quirk. A moment while Stephen indulges himself by literally downing the rest of his glass — is it elegant? Not particularly. But does he feel like he deserves it? Yes. Maybe the whole damn bottle.

But then he sets that empty glass down on the a clear space of the bench next to him, just so he can free up that hand and give hers, on his forearm, a gentle squeeze. She will feel the slight tremor that is always present, unless he is actively using magic to steady his fingers; there’s no need right now. She is more than aware of the state of them, and he has not been ashamed of a shuddering touch for a long while, now.]

At least I have you to flatter me. Thanks, Yennefer, just… for listening, I guess. I know thre isn’t a lot more you can do than that.

[ Stephen says no more after Wanda's name comes up, and so it seems that matters between them have only become more complicated. Little surprise, that, if she had truly pursued him across multiple dimensions.

He shakes his head. ] Not since you both experienced these dreams, no. But she mentioned you to me before, when I mentioned we were friends. She stated something to the effect of her suffering a great loss due to your concept of the greater good.

[ That, and how she was always feeling the consequences of his actions, while he somehow managed to avoid them. A biased take, perhaps. Thancred had filed it all away, but ultimately it had not deterred him from companionship with Stephen.

He pauses then, taking a long sip of his drink. It burns going down, and he takes a moment after swallowing to speak again. ] Though there are always two sides to every story.

[Stephen pauses again, suddenly feeling a more bone-deep weight spreading across his shoulders. Oh, he knows what Wanda was referring to, and of course she would phrase it in that manner — suffering a great loss due to your concept of the greater good.

The thing is, he isn’t sure he can argue the point. He takes a long pull from his glass, tracking the burn down his throat, as his mind whirs to piece together an answer. No matter how many years pass, this subject always feels raw; maybe because it’s only ever brought up as a sort of dour accusation, with anger in the other person’s eyes. Stark. Now Wanda.]

Then I imagine you want to hear mine.

[What should he ply, then? Justification? Excuses? Context? All of it feels tiring in any form, and instead, he starts off simply.]

She isn’t wrong, you know. I did make a difficult decision for a lot of people; I played a numbers game, on the off-chance chance that I could save many, even if we lost a few on the way.

[He said the same thing again, more than once, several times even in this world. But there's no stout stubbornness in his tone this time. With Thancred, he can allow himself to feel wrung dry.]

I told you about the intergalactic warlord who wanted to exterminate half of all life in the universe, remember? This was well before Wanda chased me through the multiverse, by the way — back when we more or less all got a long through necessity alone.

[Well, as about as much as any group of superheroes could get along without butting heads along the way.]

I also told you that we managed to save countless lives and avoid the worst-case scenario, and that there were sacrifices made to make that happen. Well, as plenty would like to see it—and maybe rightly so—I perpetuated those sacrifices with a single decision on my end.

[But first, more context.] Did Wanda ever mention the Infinity Stones to you?

Only if you want to call it that.

[ his lips quirk, and yennefer's mirror him, watching as he downs the rest of the glass and lets a bit of that weight settle back over him. or perhaps settle further over him. if he mentioned how he had been thinking of the rest of the bottle, she probably would have given it to him, if only because she knows how much she needed it, all those months ago.

when stephen's hand over her own, she does feel the slight tremor to his hands. a tremor she has noticed more and more over time, one that feels - in a lot of ways - like a secret, even when she knows it hardly is. her hand, under his, squeezes once, just as she leans in close to him, her side pressed against his, to whisper- ]

Don't let it go to your head. I can always take it back. [ when she pulls away, she doesn't bother hiding the entertained, near-laughter in her smile. the joking glint to her eyes. because she does understand the weight of what he feels, in her own way, and she does know there is very little either of them can do about it.

so, for now, what yennefer can do is reach for the bottle. refill their glasses, and hand him back his own, now full, if he does feel like following through with downing another glass of this very good wine. ]

You have nothing to worry about, the Singularity is not nearly done with you.

[ In truth, Thancred had not come here in order to press Stephen for the details on what Wanda had hinted at back during that conversation months ago. He'd come here as a friend above anything else, and yet here they are, with Stephen having to explain himself all the same. Hopefully he at least realizes that Thancred is not here to sit in judgment.

A numbers game. At those words, Thancred sets down his glass on the small side table set up next to his seat, and then crosses his arms over his chest. He naturally is reminded of Sharlayan's Forum and their plan for how to deal with the Final Days — to write off their home star as a lost cause and simply evacuate with as many people as they could. It's the Scions who had pushed for the long shot, risking everything to save their home.

He does recall Stephen speaking of this warlord, of the dire danger than his own world had been in, and gives a firm nod. ] It would be difficult to forget. [ Yet so often their conversations were more focused on the here and now, so he had never asked for the in-depth version of the story. It had felt like he knew enough simply by understanding that the worst had been averted, much like in his own case, and yet there are always those darker details.

Sacrifices still had to be made, it seems. And Wanda had been one of those who suffered as a result of that. ]

A single decision... [ Of course, he's terribly curious. How could he not be? But then Stephen has a question for him as well, one that spurs Thancred to sit up further in the chair as he shakes his head. ]

She was rather vague, and I saw no reason to push her on something that clearly brought her distress. [ He pauses then, considering if he should let Stephen continue, but then rushes to add: ] But Stephen, do not misunderstand. I did not come here looking for some admittance of guilt from you. I'm here because you were in need of company. We need not discuss this now.

[ Perhaps Stephen had made a difficult choice, and perhaps that choice had brought incredible harm onto others. But Thancred doesn't want to lose the thread of why he came to Stephen's Horizon in the first place. ]

[He shakes his head, waves the thought away.]

I know, I know. That isn’t— I didn’t think you were here trying to strong-arm an answer out of me. But I need to clarify, I have to get it off my chest now that it’s been brought up.

[He has to exert this small amount of control over the situation, he has to give his version of the narrative, or it will hang over this head forever. The idea that Thancred might doubt him, even if it is a small shadow of a thing, will never not stop pacing around in his mind.]

So, the Infinity Stones. They were six unbelievably powerful gems tied to various aspects of the universe. Space, Reality, Power, Soul, Mind, and Time. Needless to say, if someone possessed all six of them, they could do anything they wanted. Reshape reality. Bend time. Move planets, warp dimensions.

[A heavy pause.]

Wipe out half of all life in the universe.

[Talking about this, it’s strange how it still makes him feel sick to his stomach. Dread churning there, like it never left.]

Thanos sought them all out to achieve his goal. We did everything we could to stop him, but our chances of overcoming him were slim to none. In almost every conceivable scenario, we would lose — I know, because I was the guardian of the Time stone, and I used it to peer into a vast number of possible futures to look for even one way of losing the least amount of people. So that half of all life would someday, eventually, be saved.

There was one. And that one involved giving up the stone, allowing a few of us to die, and letting Thanos have his victory for a five long years. So I made that call. [He flexes his hands, wrings them together, before he catches himself and keeps them still.] I'm giving you the watered down version of everything, but basically: one of those sacrifices, the permanent ones, was someone Wanda loved.

She was... angry when she found out. I can't blame her for it.

[ If getting this off his chest, as Stephen puts it, will grant him some peace of mind, then Thancred will accept it. He nods, indicating that he should continue on with his explanation.

As Stephen describes the Infinity Stones, Thancred once again finds a similarity to his own world: the six Crystals of Light, granted to Himeka by Hydaelyn all that time ago. It's an odd coincidence that even the number is the same, though those crystals are not nearly as powerful as what Stephen says of the Stones.

Still, it's an odd coincidence. Almost as if there are certain ingrained laws of the universe that apply to different worlds, no matter how far apart. Thancred draws a thumb across his chin in quiet thought as Stephen carries on.

Wiping out half of all life in the universe? It sounds far too much like what Meteion had hoped to do. Surely such a future could never be allowed to pass, and thus Stephen had been placed in the unenviable decision of having to make an impossible choice for the good of the universe. Dooming a select few to death in order to save countless more — Thancred understands the logic, and how heavy that burden must weigh. ]

You knew for a fact that it was the only way. [ Thancred's tone is solemn when he finally speaks, after Stephen has finished. ] You also knew that there was some who would never forgive you for it, all the same. [ He leans forward in his seat, a few ilms closer to Stephen, and stares him down. ] It took a great strength of character to make that choice, Stephen, knowing that you would draw such ire for it.

[ Yet he'd saved so many. Most people would be hard-pressed to judge him for it. ]

[There is something in him that… unfurls when Thancred tells him that. It took a great strength of character to make that choice, Stephen, knowing that you would draw such ire for it. As though he had been awaiting judgment, even though he knew his friend was not sitting there, listening to dole it out — knowing that it might spring up silently in his mind, unsaid, was just as bad. It feels like relief that this isn’t the case; and though Stephen has rarely ever needed outside validation from anyone else regarding difficult decisions he knew he had to make, it is strangely reassuring to have it from the man sitting before him.

Something flickers across his face, just a ghost of a thing. It looks like gratitude.]

Thanks, Thancred. That does mean— Well, it means a lot.

[ Short-lived as that shift in Stephen's expression might be, Thancred thinks that he recognizes it. He remembers when he and the other Scions had sat at the Last Stand on the eve of their trip to the end of the universe, and how Himeka had looked at him and said, without hesitation, that he no longer needed to prove himself to Minfilia and Ryne. He suspects he'd looked much the same then as Stephen does now.

He nods, his mouth curving into a small smile as he rises from his seat and moves to pour Stephen another glass of liquor. He'd indicated he would need it, and now Thancred can see why. As he moves closer to where Stephen sits, he holds out the filled glass to him with one hand, then reaches out to grip him by the shoulder and give it a tight squeeze with the other. ]

Any time, friend. No one of us is meant to take the whole universe on our shoulders. It would do you well to remember that.

Edited 2022-10-24 21:00 (UTC)

[He’s rubbing his fingers at his temple, eyes closed in the wake of that exchange. It’s funny how even that moment of relief, that dissipating tension, has left him feeling just as tired — though this time, at least it’s less harried and more relaxed.

And when Stephen opens his eyes again, there stands Thancred, offering him a fresh glass of amber liquid, his hand gripping at his shoulder.]

I—

[He finds himself stumbling over his words in that moment. Breath guttering out in pleasant surprise—he was never much of a touchy-feely person, but he finds he does not mind the contact—and this feels… Well, embarrassed isn’t the right word. Oddly self-conscious, warm around his cheekbones.]

I was never really good at that. [He takes the glass, fingers curling around the glass and lingering, meeting his friend's gaze.] You know. Not trying to solve every problem thrown my way. An old girlfriend always said it was a flaw of mine.

[ It's difficult to tell with the warm, flickering lighting in the room as cast by the crackling fireplace, but is that a bit of color in Stephen's cheeks?

From the alcohol, mayhap.

Thancred smiles down at Stephen, not particularly minding the close proximity they're in. All the same, he does eventually release the glass and take a step back, letting out a little scoff. ] I'm shocked to hear that. Truly. [ Does he sound shocked? He's completely and utterly shocked. ]

An old girlfriend... [ His voice lilts with amusement and interest as he moves back to his own seat. ] You've never mentioned her before. [ Not once, during those three long weeks they'd spent on the road. Interesting. ]

[Sure, it’s because of the alcohol. Let’s go with that. The way Stephen scoffs at the remark and takes a long pull of his drink, feeling the burn all the way down, is telling. Then—]

There wasn’t much to tell. [Which probably isn’t wholly true. Maybe Stephen just keeps personal tidbits closer to his chest than most.] Her name was Christine. She’s a doctor, too; we worked together in the same hospital. That’s how we met before I became a sorcerer.

[During the time in his life when he was more self-centered, more controlling, more focused on his rising fame and reputation than to give a flourishing relationship the attention it needed to grow.]

It was an amicable breakup. [It hurt a little.] We’re still friends. I, uh, met another version of her, actually, while I was hopping around the multiverse.

[ It isn't that Thancred has ever forgotten that Stephen had been a physician before he was ever a mage, but it is easy to forget at times. Within Thorne he's always so focused on research of a magical nature, to say nothing of his abilities and his sentient cloak.

Either way, this old flame of his sounds like a decent enough sort, if she'd been willing to stay a friend even after their split.

Meeting another version of her, though — it may not be the same as Thancred had felt when he first met Ryne, the contexts and relationships clearly different, but it's still where his thoughts immediately go. ]

That must have been odd. [ He regards Stephen with a clear, if guarded interest. ] To meet any other version of someone you know well, that is. Was she terribly different?

Edited 2022-11-04 00:38 (UTC)

No. She worked for a different employer, but she was...

[His brows pinch.]

Well, she was the same. As though the multiverse itself couldn't warp the core of who she was.

[And through her, he resolved of letting her go in his universe. Of moving on.]

I couldn't say the same for myself. I had to actually kill another version of Stephen Strange, one that had destroyed his entire world, yet wanted to keep that Christine for himself. [He makes a face. Cringe much, other Stephen?]

Wow, saying that out loud is kind of embarrassing.

[ As Stephen explains, it becomes clear that the nature of one's circumstances could allow a person to stay very much the same, or warp into something else entirely. Or were there certain people who would always be good, while others were more prone to corruption?

Thancred's a bit surprised that Stephen would entrust him with information that paints him in a bad light, even if it's via another version of himself. Then again, he's already admitted to his own sins, justified as they had been. ]

I'm not sure embarrassing is the word I would use...

[ He takes a sip of his drink, willing more liquor into his glass with a thought alone this time. ]

Wasn't it unnerving, seeing yourself like that? [ Knowing he could have been capable of it? ]

[Maybe it is foolish of him, to paint other versions of himself in such a bad light — to reveal what he’s capable of, if he had just made slightly different decisions, or if the world had dealt him even a minutely different hand.

But Stephen feels like he can trust Thancred with this information. Feels as though showing the worst parts of him might at least illuminate the bits that are trying, trying so hard to do what’s right, even when the decisions are not easy ones to make.]

It absolutely was.

[That other him, the one with the bad facial hair, had been… so far gone.]

It just shows what a difference a few small changes can make in a lifetime. How close we all are to treading down a path that leads somewhere… darker, if we’re not careful.

[ Thancred nods without much hesitation, as he suspects this isn't something that is specific to Stephen. Yes, there are some people who might be closer to treading that path than others, but he imagines that the potential exists in most of them.

In him, certainly. He has some manner of proof, even if it isn't quite the same.

After wetting his mouth with another drink from his glass, he lets out a low exhale and glances back toward the fire. ]

While I didn't literally meet another version of myself, during the time I spent in Norvrandt I did find myself at odds with a man who had placed himself into a role similar to mine own. [ As "Minfilia's" caretaker, that is, even if the constant reincarnations of the Oracle of Light had made for a wildly different experience than Thancred's own relationship with the original. Hence why they could be contrasted more than compared.

His gaze flicks back to Stephen's, silvery eyes bright in the warm firelight. Yet his expression is decidedly unimpressed. ] I have an idea of how uncomfortable that sort of thing feels. He also opted to keep someone dear to me imprisoned, insisting it was "for her own good." [ At this he scoffs. ]

Edited (just changing the icon) 2022-11-16 22:58 (UTC)

[They share a distaste for those who are too similar, and have made terrible decisions while standing in the same figurative shoes. But Stephen knows that doesn’t make it any less unnerving, to see that part of yourself reflected in the worse way possible.

But it is a reminder, at least, to do better. To be shown the darkest path as a warning, what not to tread.

For however long they can manage it.]

What happened? Did you manage to get him to see your side of things?

[The answer to that kind of question is always “no”, but Stephen can have some hope it worked out for the best — even if Thancred’s expression might tell him otherwise.]

[ Thancred's scoff immediately devolves into a mirthless laugh as he shakes his head. ]

He was far past the point of reason. I was mainly concerned about putting myself between him and my friends. [ In one occasion Thancred had come dangerously close to losing his life in the process, but he skims over that, seeing it as little more than a footnote by now. It's not even the most recent example of him having a near-death experience. ]

Himeka was the one who put him down, in the end. [ While Thancred doesn't know if the two have ever met here, Stephen knows her name well by now. She'd come up often during their trip months back, and since.

As for Ran'jit, when someone is that far gone there's often no other option. Stephen seems to have learned that lesson as well. Taking life is never pleasant, but sometimes you're left with little choice. ]

Let's end off on a brighter note, though, shall we? [ He raises his glass. ] You survived your experiences, traveling to other planes and meeting your darker self and aught else that took place, to return back here. [ For better or worse, but it isn't all bad, is it? They have each other, they have these moments. Thancred would like to hope that's worth something. ]

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( catch-all ) can we just start over

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