( catch-all ) can we just start over

[sorser]

WHO: Stephen Strange & Various
WHAT: Post-canon update shenanigans and other things.
WHEN: Throughout the month of August.
WHERE: Thorne & the Horizon

(( closed starters below! PM this journal or hit me up at aurajen if you want to plot something! ))

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[sorser]

Being the only sorceress makes you my favorite by default.

[She’s right, the quipping back is easy. It’s comfortable, natural — so is the quirk of his lips as she deals with the wine bottle. This is part of the Abraxas routine that’s easiest to fall into, compared to his work, his lessons, assistant mages coming up to him with requests or questions or missives.

It fades a little, though, at the question. Yennefer is keen-eyed, and even though Stephen tries to conduct himself the same as usual (the same as he remembers; it feels years ago), there are parts of him that he simply cannot change. The wrinkles just a little deeper, reaching at the corner of his eyes. The streaks of grey at his temples, more prevalent than before. His jaw sets, considering how to say this — he never planned on not telling her.]

Guess we should talk about— [A very vague gesture with his free hand.] —everything. [They can loop back around to Ambrose in a bit. First, frankness and honesty.]

I should have told you sooner, but it just feels like I’ve been scrambling since I’ve come back. [“Come back?” Uh-oh.] I had a vision, where I returned home and lived years of my life. So much happened, and having woken up again ironically is like… returning to an old dream I never knew I had. An old life I had forgotten about.

[vixening]

I'm so honored. [ she says flatly, though a smile breaks through in the moments that follow, entirely taking the legs out from the joke. but she assumes that it won't matter, because she has trust that they will find themselves back there again if they need to. because joking, sarcasm, back and forth - they are easy veils to shroud complicated topics. protection, if stephen really doesn't want to get into what yennefer sees on the edges of his eyes.

his relenting to discuss, though, does have her brows lifting curiously. in part because she wondered if she would have to press him for more information, and also because she wants to look like she hadn't, necessarily, been digging - even when they both know she has.

it's not until stephen says come back that the lighter, curious, joking side of yennefer stills. she listens to everything he says, about living years of his life, about waking up and returning to an old dream. the color drains a bit from yennefer's face. ]

I understand the feeling. [ a beat, a pause, and yennefer swallows. ] You woke up with the vision, yes? A night of dreams and then...

[sorser]

[Stephen finally sits, the bench creaking dimly in protest. He swirls his wine around in the glass, looking at Yennefer, perplexed by the sudden stillness in her features.

She speaks from familiarity, and could that mean—?]

And then, waking up, it was like all of those so-called “dreams” were real.

[He knows they were. His memories and Wanda’s lined up perfectly, all that pain and trauma and fear, there for them both. Receiving, giving, making it all the more complicated here and now.]

Hey. [He scoots a foot out, bumps his ankle gently against hers. A casual, friendly gesture of a degree so rarely seen from Stephen; but Yen is one the few who would wrangle it out of him when his concern dares to shift towards her, instead.] Don’t tell me the same thing happened to you.

[vixening]

[ there is a part of yennefer that does hear stephen, about waking up, about the dreams being real. she gets something of a faraway look in her eyes as she remembers those first few weeks, now months ago. when she hadn't known what was going on, when she'd woken up and been cut off from everything. what she knew of home layered over what she knew from here and the fact there hadn't been anyone she could turn to in the castle, how the few people she could turn to either turned her away (geralt) or she could barely reach (jaskier).

( she thinks of the days and nights she spent locked away in her room, terrified to step outside. the days and nights she considered running, to not, to solvunn, anywhere. a bit of that feeling creeps back up her spine now, something cold and dark and lonely. )

hey he says, bumping his ankle against her's. it's the touch that does it, that has yennefer blinking and back and looking over to find stephen looking back. don't tell me he says, and yennefer gives him a small, tired smile in return. nods, taking a slow breath and a sip from her glass and settles next to him on the bench, pressed up against him as she does. ]

A few months ago, before we were sent out on the quest by Ambrose, when my... [ she trails off, because while they are secluded enough out in these gardens, as long as they are within the castle, some part of her will always worry. so instead of finishing, she gestures with her glass.

when I lost my magic the gesture says, her eyes on the swirl of her wine. ]

[sorser]

[The gentle swirl of the wine in her glass might as well speak volumes. Her trailing silence only serves as space for Stephen to complete the sentence in his mind. When she lost her magic.

There is a part of him that never really thought her magic dissipating was related to something happening in her world, but now, given that context, it is all too easy to tie those connective strings together. A few months ago, she had fallen into a deep dream state just like him. A few months ago, and she had woken up, finding herself missing her magic. He cannot imagine what that must have been like, what it would have felt like for him.

(Like waking up, suddenly missing a limb. Or like waking up, suddenly finding one’s hands gone useless, every bone in them broken—)

His stomach sinks a little. His mouth twists into a deeper frown.]

They’re not just dreams, then. It’s as if time is trying to catch up to us, winding its way back into ourselves here — like it’s trying to fix the timeline we were never a part of because we’re stuck in Abraxas.

[That’s just a theory, spun off the top of his head. But that’s what it feels like.]

…You should have told me sooner, Yennefer.

[vixening]

[ stephen is able to put it together, and there is no small part of yennefer that is once again relieved at all she doesn't have to say. that he understands what it feels like, what it means. at the time, they had been mere acquaintances, excited conversations about chaos, about theory, about the potential of the singularity and how they could use it. they had been partners at the singularity itself, had felt it yearn for that power, much like the yearning that yennefer has never quite dropped. hungry, desperate, starved. then she had disappeared for days, weeks, because she couldn't be seen about the castle. she couldn't let it be known, and then-

yennefer takes another breath, taking a long sip from her wine, as she feels stephen's frown at her side deepen. as she listens to the theory he spouts with barely any time at all. it pulls a frown from her, though her's has more to do with the idea of it than the implication. ]

It does not always work- the dreams I had, or whatever you wish to call them- memories- others from home had them too, but we did not all end up with the same amount. It's almost as if the connection was lost, or... [ she shakes her head, not quite liking where her thoughts are going, finding too many issues in the basis of it.

but that is when stephen's tone shifts - or, maybe it doesn't shift at all. maybe he just shifts the focus back, to her, to her loss of magic, to the fact when it happened she hadn't had anyone except for jaskier and geralt to tell, and her only way to tell them, had been fractured too.

there's a smile to her lips, now, but the edge of it is more sad than it is dangerous. she glances back to him, one of her brows arched. ] I should have? [ as if she is asking him really? in this castle? in these walls? so much has changed since then, since those dark nights, lost and alone. it's why she's having this conversation at all. ] It changes nothing. [ there is a pause, and then that smile fades to a look of curiosity, instead. ]

What happened, in those years? You look... [ she lets go of her wine glass with one of her hands, reaching up to brush her fingers against the more prominently grey streaks of his hair. it looks like she wants to say something else, but when her eyes turn back to his face, the hint of that smile is more understanding, empathetic. ] Tired.

[sorser]

[Maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference if she told him sooner or otherwise. Maybe that look of hers is right—in these castle halls?—but still, he thinks it’s a shame that she had to carry that upon herself for so long, perhaps the only ones to share her burden being those from her own world.

Stephen gives an apologetic little smile when she brushes her fingertips across his temples. He knows exactly what she’s referring to — his grey, probably much more prominent now that the “years” have passed between then and now.]

Where to start?

[Honestly, where. Even beyond the big events, the day-to-day keeps him busy as a sorcerer of Kamar-Taj. Always something to do, some magic to tend to, some spell to seal up tight around the edges of a blizzard might spill in through the Sanctum.]

The multiverse was thrown into turmoil not once, but twice. [That smile of his turns facetious as though to say, Hooray!] I did manage to keep it all from splitting apart, and save a teenager or two. But time, in general, has just been… tiring, Yennefer.

[vixening]

[ part of yennefer wonders if it would have made a difference, if stephen had known. looking back on it now, she can recognize that so much of what was difficult was her isolation. that she had gone from able, capable, safe within her own power, to drifting alone through the days, unsure, terrified, alone. whether or not geralt or jaskier knew what happened had not helped, had not felt like a share of the burden, not when she felt like she was facing the emptiness all over again. just the same as the first time - alone, screaming, lost.

but they did not really know each other before then, did they? it had taken their quest, the month out on the road, the attack that had left stephen torn open, before it could come out at all.

for now, yennefer's attention is on him. on the grey in his hair, the years added to his eyes. his smile turns almost apologetic at her question, and yennefer's eyes flick from his temple to his face. it is his explanation that finally has her hand falling to his arm, setting it there more for...what? encouragement? just for a reason to keep that touch?

stephen has explained to her the concept of the 'multiverse' - something she understands, at a theoretical level, though once again the term seems a bit ridiculous - but it is the exhaustion in his face, even in his smile, that tells her more than anything. tiring he says, and yennefer nods. ] Time does have a way of exhausting you. At least your aging suits you. [ if stephen looks, he can probably see something of a joking curl to yennefer's smile. just a little bit of teasing. ]

[sorser]

What’s this? A silver lining?

[His lips quirk. A moment while Stephen indulges himself by literally downing the rest of his glass — is it elegant? Not particularly. But does he feel like he deserves it? Yes. Maybe the whole damn bottle.

But then he sets that empty glass down on the a clear space of the bench next to him, just so he can free up that hand and give hers, on his forearm, a gentle squeeze. She will feel the slight tremor that is always present, unless he is actively using magic to steady his fingers; there’s no need right now. She is more than aware of the state of them, and he has not been ashamed of a shuddering touch for a long while, now.]

At least I have you to flatter me. Thanks, Yennefer, just… for listening, I guess. I know thre isn’t a lot more you can do than that.

[vixening]

Only if you want to call it that.

[ his lips quirk, and yennefer's mirror him, watching as he downs the rest of the glass and lets a bit of that weight settle back over him. or perhaps settle further over him. if he mentioned how he had been thinking of the rest of the bottle, she probably would have given it to him, if only because she knows how much she needed it, all those months ago.

when stephen's hand over her own, she does feel the slight tremor to his hands. a tremor she has noticed more and more over time, one that feels - in a lot of ways - like a secret, even when she knows it hardly is. her hand, under his, squeezes once, just as she leans in close to him, her side pressed against his, to whisper- ]

Don't let it go to your head. I can always take it back. [ when she pulls away, she doesn't bother hiding the entertained, near-laughter in her smile. the joking glint to her eyes. because she does understand the weight of what he feels, in her own way, and she does know there is very little either of them can do about it.

so, for now, what yennefer can do is reach for the bottle. refill their glasses, and hand him back his own, now full, if he does feel like following through with downing another glass of this very good wine. ]

You have nothing to worry about, the Singularity is not nearly done with you.