abraxaslogs | ( open — august catchall )

[wanda has to stop to put hand to her mouth, a loose fist, and keep herself from openly laughing at that. it's really kind of funny how matt, in the united states, doesn't hear of the avengers—whereas wanda and pietro, locked all the way in sokovia, know about the avengers.

it's just one of those ironies.

pretty hard to tell on the popularity of stephen anyway.]

Maybe. [she composes her, rubbing at her cheek with the heel of her palm and continuing scribbling, now, with the 'm'.] He's a sorcerer. There are sanctums all over the world, and he lives in the one in New York. He's something of an authority as far as magical things are concerned.

[thus, her turf.]

—I gave him a really hard time. He knows about everything I did.

[straightening up, she turns to look over at matt.]

What... year do you come from? It's 2025 for me.

( matt makes a face at 'sanctums' and 'sorcerers' because while he knows magic exists and he's even begun to use it, he really hadn't even begun to think about how organized and hierarchical it was.

but, it wasn't really his thing so he didn't pay attention. didn't think he needed to. )

2017.

( so, there had to be differences in what they knew and experienced especially since he was somewhat removed from the avengers and what they did and she was very engaged. )

Little bit behind you.

[2017.

she stops for a moment—that's quite a 'little bit', but it doesn't deter how much she longs for him, this stupid, meddling feeling. ]

...I had recently lost Pietro. [it had been two years, and,] I was also, officially, a fugitive. I wouldn't sign the Sokovia Accords.

[sighing, wanda leans back on the chair for a moment. the her back then, almost ten years ago, was so different from the her now.]

Stephen's going to tell the others about what I did, if he hasn't already.

Edited 2022-08-11 01:14 (UTC)

And what do you think about that?

( stephen telling the others, he means. on the one hand, it saves her from painful conversations that she might not want to have but on the other, it means she won't know what stephen says to them until they come find her. )

Did he say he was going to do that or are you just assuming by the conversation the two of you had?

[wanda understands why matt is asking what he's asking. truth is, matt doesn't really know stephen, and if there is one thing about the sorcerer, it's the fact that he's to-the-point about his words and he doesn't tack on fiction to facts.

she shakes her head.]

I asked him to. [pursing her lips, she brings up a hand to rub at her brow.] I wasn't entirely myself for a few weeks, before we— [kissed] I vaguely remember attacking some of them.

They need to know from someone who has no reason to cut me any slack. I can talk to them later.

[it makes sense to her.]

All right.

( it's her choice and that makes him feel a little better about someone else sharing what happened. he nods, rubbing at the back of her neck a little more firmly to try and ease tension that he can tell wants to appear. )

It'll be okay. ( she's gotten through this much, hasn't she? and while the hard part definitely isn't over yet, she's still here and she's still on her feet. )

You'll be okay.

[and that's—enough, isn't it? for matt to accept her choices, to reassure her that it'll be okay. not once did she fear that he would tell her she should have done differently, and the way her heart picks up is because she's worried about the circumstances around her—this tension he can feel under his fingers.

there is nothing more she wants to do but to believe his words. to be told that it'll be okay, though not a certainty, it makes her feel better, even if just a smidge.

wanda takes his hand from her neck, kisses the palm of it, and then places it on her cheek, leaning against it.]

Thank you — for giving me a safe place to be in.

Edited 2022-08-11 14:01 (UTC)

You're welcome.

( his voice is quiet as he says it, calm. he knows that there's a lot of emotions whirling inside of her but he can be calm and at least provide her some place to be to get away from all that. )

Thank you for being here.

( he might not need a safe place like she does but he still feels calmer and comfortable with her around, like he can be himself and not worry about her rejecting him for that very thing. )

[look at them, being polite with each other. she appreciates that, that as much as she's grateful for matt—he, too, appreciates her being around, like she's doing right in putting her trust in him.

she smiles.]

I need your advice.

[wanda likes playing this game where she pretends to have serious Law Business to attend to, and needing matt's help with it.]

Does "Welcome to Solvunn. We sacrificed an arm to some terrifying god, but don't worry, it grew back!" sound welcoming enough?

[she's practicing what she'll say as a greeter (not)]

Oh, very.

( matt keeps his hand on her cheek for a second longer before he pulls it back and rests it in his lap, laughing. )

You're going to have people fearing for their arms if you're not careful. They're going to show up and start worrying that their arms are next. It'll be a bonding experience, worrying if you guys are going to remove their limbs too.

( they could all connect over fear of the solvunn farmers sacrificing their limbs. )

Honestly, it happened because I didn't understand this... sentence? I thought to 'pop a vein' meant cutting an arm off.

[wanda and her esl. she literally just went, okay, and created an axe.]

So, I just created an axe and everyone went with it.

[which already says a lot about the type of people in solvunn. hmm. she raises an eyebrow in thought. then, her brow pinches and she shakes her head slightly.]

Maybe I won't open with that.

( matt starts to laugh because...that's cute, all right. she'd thought pop a vein meant to just cut someone's limb off. good thing that the person they'd chosen had the ability to grow it back. )

I don't know if I'm going to be really all that helpful. I'm not the most welcoming person. No one's going to set me up as the tour guide and greeter at the local store.

( he could garner sympathy just fine but he'd probably get bored easily when it came to something like welcoming people over and over. )

Just go with something simple. 'Welcome to Solvunn, we have a farm and absolutely no sacrifices, really.'

Imagine having you, a blind man, as a tour guide.

[that would be funny. wanda's turning on her chair, legs crossed, elbows on the arm of it as she straightens her arms out in front of her.]

I would want my money back.

[threading her fingers unto themselves, she realizes that she really, really hates having to do this job for their little greet and meet, even if she had promised.]

After ten minutes, I'm putting up a note that says just that and walking away. You know that, right?

[#antisocial]

You don't think I could make it interesting?

( that sounds like a challenge, he turns towards her and smirks a bit. )

I'd show you around New York if we ever got that chance. I know that you've been there but you haven't been where I've been and you haven't been there as long as I've been there.

( he shrugs like...he's not just making offers to find her in their world. maybe he is. he doesn't know. shut up. )

Just make sure to credit me if you do use that.

[wanda feels elated at that— at something that isn't quite a promise, but could very well be one. of showing her around new york — and her heart aches a bit, because she really... doesn't think that'll be a possibility for her anymore. whatever her fate is back in their world, chances are he'd forget her—she'd forget him, and it's not like she can go back to normalcy.

right?

drawing a shaky breath, she hates that it's that which upsets her. it's fine—they have the present right now, she shouldn't—]

It would be really nice if we could do that.

[wouldn't it? together? vision had asked her before to stay, he had promised her that they would grow old together.]

Don't make promises to a witch, Matt.

[she repeats this, from a previous conversation, but she may as well be telling him to not make promises he can't keep.]

Edited 2022-08-11 16:35 (UTC)

Or what?

( no no, he's gonna make this promise. he's going to say this and hold onto it and talk about it so she can't forget that he did. that he wants to. that he'd want to see even outside of this world. )

I'm allowed to make promises and you're allowed to want what's promised, Wanda. So, I'm doing it. I wasn't just...throwing words into the air with that. I'd do it and I'd figure out a way to make it happen.

( does he know how? no. but what he knows about himself is that he is relentless and absolutely focused when he wants something done. usually those things fall into the categories of his various avenues of work but he can add this in there too. )

You can't stop me from wanting these things.

[he sounds so reassured, like none of this magical bullshit can get in his way. wanda doesn't want to be upset about this, but she feels—she is feeling so much, and it's a little too overwhelming. when's the last time someone promised her something like this, only for it to result in her losing everything that was once promised to her?

wanda can't bear losing anything—anyone—again. she can't put this on matt.]

You can want them, but—

[but what? she tugs at her sleeves, nervous, worried. he's stubborn, but she'll be equally stubborn—voice quiet.]

It's not worth it, Matt.

[i'm not worth this.]

Edited 2022-08-11 17:22 (UTC)

( it's not the answer that he wants to hear but it's, unfortunately, the one that he expects. he could relent but he doesn't want to. )

You can't decide what I think is worth it, Wanda.

( as soon as he says it, he feels something twist in his stomach because he knows that he's one to do that. he would do it to her if their positions were reversed but he's more than willing to admit that he's a hypocrite.

and he's going to be a hypocrite about this. )

I disagree.

( he thinks she is worth it. )

[her heart aches, knowing what he says—what he wants from her. she can tell that he isn't saying things for the sake of saying them: he means them.

but it's because he hasn't seen, not really, what she's capable of. though he knows what she's done, it's different to see it when you're emotionally invested on the other person—and thus subjective about the whole ordeal. she is a threat; she had told stephen strange as much. she feels like one, worse of all. she wants this that she has with matt, she wants to be selfish—and she is being selfish, but—

but it's not something she deserves in the long term.]

Couldn't I?

[decide what he thinks is worth it for him? she could easily change his mind with a flick of her wrist, though it's pretty much an empty threat, considering how actions in the horizon don't affect them in the real world.]

—I don't even know if there's a future for me past 2025, Matt. I'm not normal. I can't just — quit who I am. I can't undo the murders I've committed. I can't— I can't have my happy ending.

You could but you won't.

( and he does trust that. that she won't try and manipulate him in that way. it's a threat but it's not one that she'll follow through on. she's using it as shield to make him back off and it might have worked if he didn't know her better than that. she has her ways of reading him and he has his ways.

he swallows, wondering if he should back off this. is it really worth it to press something that might not even happen? he doesn't know his own future. the last thing he remembers is the midland circle falling down around him because he'd just given up.

he might go back to new york and just be dead. wouldn't that be a surprise? he's quiet for a few seconds, still. he doesn't know what he wants to do here, how he wants to take this. because he could argue and risk upsetting her, sending her away. or he could relent and just let it go and give her the impression that he really hadn't meant anything.

nothing says attractive. )

No one knows if they have a future, Wanda. Not when you do the things we do. There's no guarantee of that. I'm not asking you to change anything. All I'm asking for is —

( what? he doesn't know. )

All I'm asking for is a day in New York. That's it.

[it's funny, how matt is so grounded in reality—and one could say it is because of how untouched he is by magic. meanwhile, wanda's mind spirals to conclusions and assumptions, because anything is possible for her—even if those things are, in fact, those that always end with sacrifice.

she breathes in a shaky breath, because she catches something within matt, something unrelenting yet uncertain, like collapsing rocks. she tries to hold fast onto it to discern more, but just as quickly it's locked away in the vault of his innermost thoughts.

her expression pinches, her trembling lips trying to drag in short breaths.

a day in new york.

closing on herself, pressing back to the chair and drawing her legs up to curl up, wanda brings her hands to her face, covering it.]

—I'm sorry, I'm always just...

[crumbling down in tears over pretty much anything, even when being with matt brings her such joy amidst all the noise.]

It's all right.

( he says it quietly, still looking in her direction and, once again, wishing that he could see her even if he knows that wouldn't help anything. he just wants to see her. he wants to reach out to her but he can tell she's folded in on herself and he's not sure anything like that would be welcome so he keeps his hands to himself.

he's quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts before he says: )

You don't need to apologize to me. If you need to cry, you can cry. I'm not going to say anything.

[when she surfaces again from her small chasm of her own grief and dilapidated trust in anything the world may or may not have ready for her, wanda feels — exactly how she expects to feel.

tired.

it's never not this exhaustion that just pushes back down to the ground, keeps her trapped.

eventually her feet slide off the chair, landing lightly on the floor as she slumps on the chair. with a shaky sigh, she pushes herself upright again, pressing her hand to her face, brush off any tear stains.]

I'd like to see New York with you. [quietly, because—she would, she really would.] Even if it was just one day.

Okay.

( it's just one day. more than that might be tempting fate and he doesn't want to do that. he doesn't want to try for too much when this world likes taking taking taking. he sighs and leans forward, closing some distance between them but still not touching her. )

It's just one day.

( and if it worked out, they could do another day. just like they were here. he finally does reach out, sliding his hand over one of hers and giving it a gentle squeeze. )

That's enough.

[grounding words, like most anything that matt has ever said or done for her. his hand in hers is welcome—and she doesn't retract away from it, tightening her hold on him.

just one day, it would be enough.

for someone who feels she is undeserving of asking for anything more, after all she's done, the words are somehow exactly what she needs to hear. one day, she is allowed that, isn't she?

though she sniffles, wanda tries laughing, a little breathlessly; there's very little humor in it.]

There's something about us and waterworks, isn't there? [between the rain and her tears—it's a common variable. wanda tugs at his hand.] Can you come closer?

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