abraxaslogs | ( open — august catchall )

'Cause you're blind?

[ There's a small pause there. Julie tilts her head curiously, thinking over it. It has never occurred to her that the ability to see -- or lack thereof -- might make manifesting within the Horizon more difficult. Her connection to the Horizon, the Singularity, it's different from other people's. She can manipulate the Horizon's power in ways that others simply can't, even people she regards as much more knowledgeable and stronger in terms of magic. Wanda and Stephen and Kylo, they're all so masterful, but in the Horizon, they still have to form their objects and actions purposefully. With intent, concentrated thought.

But Julie doesn't.

For her, the Horizon is entwined with her very consciousness, twisting itself into solid forms before she can even have the specific idea. Like it can predict what she wants or needs, without any effort on her part. It leads her to whatever she needs to find, acts like her eyes and ears. It knows her, and she knows it. And it's nothing she can explain, but it gives her a different understanding of that magic than she suspects others have. ]

You're tryin' to force yourself to see what you want to make, right? Even though you don't know what it really looks like?

[ She wonders if there's another way. If she can teach someone else to use that magic the way she can, at least within the Horizon. She'll have to ask.

A smile, one that reads in her voice. ]

What flavor muffins?

Something like that. I haven't been blind all my life but it's been long enough that some things, I don't really know what they look like.

( he can create the basics, make a horizon that isn't a complete mess but it's never going to be intricate or detailed like some others might be able to make for theirs. )

I can have them described to me or I can try and pick up contextual clues as to what it is but that doesn't always work. So, I try and keep things basic. That and not really being exposed to magic before this place, it makes it harder to get things...right.

( he doesn't know if that's how he wants to describe it but it's as close as he can get. he shrugs a shoulder. )

Chocolate chip, if I'm lucky. Blueberry, if I'm not. I eat them both though.

Hmm. [ It may come off as disinterested, but it's not. She doesn't have a solution, not without doing some experiments of her own, and she doesn't want him to think she has advice on tap for it. She also is not about to explain why she asked. ] Did you figure out your power yet? I mean, unless you got some shitty physical add-on. Sorry if you did.

[ Julie knows several people who just got some dumb physical thing. Horns, eye colors, useless stuff. Hopefully, Matt has gotten a bit luckier. ]

Just as long as they ain't cranberry. No landlord would take cranberry muffins for rent payment.

I haven't figured it out yet but I admit to not having tried anything either.

( his own fault. he'd been too caught up in the whole...thought of this place and the inability to get back where he'd come from. he'd had to get used to the horizon and deal with the temporary memory loss and he'd just...forgotten about the powers.

but he already has the horns things going on, just not here. )

I've never had cranberry muffins so I think my clients are looking out for me. They know what's good.

( he'd probably eat the cranberry muffins anyway. )

Can I ask what your power is?

Lucky you. I had this aunt used to make cranberry orange muffins every weekend for church from October to February. My mama made me eat one every goddamn time, 'stead of the good shit other people brought.

[ She comes from a very large family from a very small town, where church was considered the most respectable place one could be seen. Eating the muffins was not a choice, it was an order designed to prove that they weren't the most white trash, heathen branch of the family. Just close to it.

Julie is... actually not exactly sure of how he will process her power. Having an invisible third hand isn't as impressive when the person can't see your first two hands to begin with. She doesn't say anything, just takes a sip from her mug, but Matt can most likely tell she hasn't moved an inch.

Certainly not enough to put a hand flat on his back between his shoulder blades. Which is where a definitively human hand gives him a congenial pat. ]

( if she'd moved, he knows he would have picked up on that even if she tried very, very hard to be as silent as possible. he knows so he knows that she doesn't move, just picks her mug up and sips from it. he waits, thinking this is the lead up to something and —

it is. when someone pats him on the back, he turns around like he'll actually be able to see whoever it might be. and when he senses no one there, he slowly turns back to her. )

Was that you?

[ He turns and the hand boops him gently on nose with one finger before it disappears, and she chuckles into her drink. It somehow remains entertaining every single time. ]

Third hand. It's invisible, and it ain't like, attached to an arm exactly, but otherwise it's the same as the first two. They're regular visible hands.

[ She tacks that on just for the record. She has two normal hands that can be seen with the human eye. Please take note, Matt. ]

Sometimes, you just randomly get a new thing too, seems like? I just got this... well, it's not really a spell, but it's a... thing I can do? This viper shows up, and then sometimes it explodes into butterflies. I don't know, I ain't really figured out exactly how it works yet.

( matt scrunches up his nose when he gets bopped with the other hand, rubbing at it like he might be able to still feel it there. )

Huh. That's —

( that's a lot. there's magic in this world the likes that he doesn't ever think he'll see again and he's actually being given the ability to use it himself. it's strange to think that he could gain spells like the ones she's gaining. )

Did you have any sort of magical abilities before this place?

[ No one had been more surprised than Julie the very first time she discovered that she was capable of catching a mug of ale from across the room. She'd been working as a barmaid at the time, saving money, and she still isn't sure how she first triggered it; all she knows is that she had seen the mug about to fall, and she really didn't feel like mopping it up. When the tankard fell, it didn't -- it instead was caught midair, no spill, and she could feel the weight of it in one hand while both of her hands were empty. ]

Nope. My world didn't have magic at all. [ Mostly. There was one man who'd had magic, but he'd come from somewhere else. ] And I got the hand before I learned how to do any real magic on my own.

That's good to know. Because while magic exists in my world, it's not something I was ever exposed to besides people taking rabbits out of hats on television.

( which, you know, not that kind of magic they're all exposed to here. but, if she'd come from a place without magic and she'd managed to figure it out and control it, maybe there's hope for someone hopeless like he is. )

I tried to create a tennis ball in the Horizon a few days ago and I don't think it was really all that right. But, I think that's partially because of being blind. I don't remember specifics of certain things so when I create them, they come out a little off.

I never liked tricks with animals. Seemed sorta wrong, makin' 'em perform like that. Roy got what he deserved.

[ She takes a slow sip of her drink, thinking. Well, if he's trying to visualize things he can't remember, then it stands to reason they would be wrong. It's almost like asking for a concept, isn't it? It becomes nebulous, variable. Her head tilts to one side. ]

Out here, if I say tennis ball, what's in your mind? If it's not, y'know, like a firm picture with details, then what is it? [ She pauses, tries to imagine a tennis ball without actually seeing one. ] Maybe that's what you should be manifestin'. You give that to the Singularity to turn into somethin'.

Fuzzy, green, hard. That's about it. It's not...I think when I tried to conjure it, I missed the white lines on the ball and it was too fuzzy. But I never really paid attention to tennis balls when I could see so —

( matt shrugs. there are some things that he'd taken for granted when he'd had his sight, things that not that he couldn't see, he couldn't really remember or he found what he did remember had faded with time. )

The person I was with told me what I'd missed but it was close enough to a tennis ball. But even things like orange juice taste different to me so when I make then, they're just kind of...different. It'll be something to keep in mind for me.

Why is it somethin' to keep in mind? Unless you're tryin' specifically to give whatever you make away, it's in your domain. It should make sense to you, even if it don't make sense to everyone else. And if you're givin' it away, they can shut up. They shouldn't be nitpickin' presents.

[ This is sound logic to Julie, actually. The Horizon is a space for their own needs and desires -- making things to the standards a seeing person would expect is outside of the point. All that matters is that the space functions for Matt, right?

The whole conversation has given her food for thought. She has never really considered trying to work around handicaps like blindness, but she's sure there must be a way to do it, to make the two different sets of needs compatible. For Wanda's sake, she's sure she can figure it out. God, she hopes it doesn't necessitate learning braille. ]

What does orange juice taste like, for you? I mean, I know that smell and taste are linked together, but I didn't know stuff would taste different if you can't see it. I guess I understand if you couldn't see and didn't know what it is, but if you can't see and still know what it should look like, it's still different?

Just in case someone else is there and wants to have a drink. Orange juice would taste different to me so if I created it, it'd be more acidic and probably stronger than what other people are used to. I wouldn't want to make their mouths shrivel up in pain and distaste.

( he rubs a hand at the back of his head, trying to think of the best way to describe what he tastes and feels and smells without giving too much away. )

I'm sure you've heard that when you lose a sense, the others kind of pick up the slack? That's what mine do. So, things might taste stronger to me in some aspects so if I try and create them, they're going to go by what I remember. Imagine how a lemon tastes? And then probably multiply that by about ten or so and that's what it'd taste like to me. Just stronger.

[ She considers this quietly for a moment. In the given example, the orange juice shouldn't taste different to them, right? Everything on the Horizon is based on the individual's thoughts and ideas, but that should mean each person is drinking their own perception of orange juice, not necessarily the perception of the creator. But again, it's something she needs to experiment with on her own. ]

Like superpowers. [ It's not something she throws out in a specific way, pointed at him -- it's more in the casual way she's heard it spoken about across television and movies for her whole life. She's never lost a sense, she only has the narrative that media's dictated. ] 'Least that's how I always heard it. That blind folk can basically hear movements and shit. There were blind people in my world who would learn to do that bat click-y thing. With echoes.

[ There is a brief pause before she hastily tacks on, ] Not that blind people are bats. Just... I know that I saw it on the news before.

Echolocation, yeah.

( matt actually snickers because this wasn't the first time someone had mentioned echolocation and bats around him. it wasn't a bad comparison considering what he could do and how he did it. )

It's funny, you're not the first person to compare me to a bat. I don't know if I'm that good — ( heh. ) but I can get by.

Definitely no superpowers though. I just wanna be able to not walk off of curbs and into walls. I have big goals and even bigger ambitions.

I reckon it probably makes for a handy back-pocket Halloween costume. Ooh, wait -- I just thought of a better way to do it. Come October, you come find me before the party.

[ The way she says the party is some indication of how highly she thinks of her own hostessing skills. The Summoned have only been in Abraxas for about a year, but by God, she will make her Halloween party the annual event to speak of. Last year was a smashing success. ]

To be fair, I can see perfectly fine, and I have definitely walked off curbs and into walls. But aim for the moon and you'll land in the stars, right?

Party, huh? It might be a surprising because I know I give off the aura of a party animal but I don't think I've been invited to a Halloween party in a long time.

( maybe in school, foggy would have dragged him to one but he's always stayed away from them since then. no real need, no real motivation to go so he'd just...stayed home.

and it wasn't like anyone came to his door for candy. didn't have a very inviting vibe to it. )

That's a good way to think of it. I'd say a day where I don't walk into anything is a day well spent. But, this place is unfamiliar so I've kind of — found myself turned around and lost a few times. Thankfully not too badly.

Then you're in for a hell of a treat, 'cause I am the queen of Halloween. [ Which sounds like big talk, but she truly does throw an amazing Halloween party. It's one of the things she is most gifted at. ] Everyone's invited. Well, almost everyone.

[ She does not explain that one. While she rarely hesitates to bring up their resident warmonger, she doesn't see the need at this exact moment. Matt can get that lesson later on. ]

Well, that's just part of bein' somewhere new. I'm pretty sure this city is smaller than New York, at least. Plus, you'll never walk off a dock. Silver linin's.

( almost everyone. matt picks up on that but is wise enough to not ask. it's not his business considering they've just met but it's something he files away to remember for later. instead, he focuses on the rest of what she says. )

Yeah, this place is much smaller than New York and I've never lived anywhere but so it's — a change. Something to get used to. I don't know if I'm there yet but soon.

( hopefully. he smiles at her. )

You sound like you've been here for awhile.

I came to Cadens in... mm, February? Yeah, February. [ Not to Abraxas -- to Cadens. ] But I had friends here, so it was easier for me to adjust than for most people, I think. It was still a pain in the ass learnin' where everythin' was, though.

[ Julie's journey through Abraxas has been substantially different than almost anyone else's, save the one person left who she actually made the trip with. Technically, she's pretty sure she's still considered an illegal immigrant, if this world has such a concept. The Cities' government seems to be aware of her presence in Cadens, and they aren't pursuing her (as far as she knows), but to her knowledge, she's supposed to still be in Nott.

She wonders if Thorne has realized their absence yet. ]

But I was in the second group of Summoned ever.

You weren't originally in Cadens?

( he hadn't really looked into going from one region to another but he'd just assumed it was impossible or close to it for one reason or another. to hear that it's not is interesting. )

Where were you when you first got here?

Everyone from the first two groups was in Thorne. In the beginnin', they were the only ones who knew how. Solvunn and the Cities didn't work it out until people escaped here and blabbed all the details they could remember. Then they started grabbin' people too.

[ It's a much longer and more complex story than she lays out, but every time she drops it on someone without them asking for it first, they get overwhelmed and confused. Particularly because she doesn't hesitate to add all of her own opinions to the tale. She also doesn't elaborate on where she was between the escape and February. ]

There's a lot more to this world than any of the people in charge want us to know about or see. It's like fuckin' North Korea. Sure, you can visit, but God help you if they find out you wandered away from the tour group.

And they haven't found out about you?

( not that he was going to say anything, of course. it was just good to know that maybe he could get to a place he'd otherwise thought out of reach. if he needed to or wanted to.

but, that's for the future. )

Has something happened to other people that try and go from one region to another?

Which "they"?

[ She says it with a snort. The Cities' government? She's positive they know -- despite going out of her way to never interact with them or draw attention to herself, she has received addressed documents from them, same as the other Summoned. Her guess is that they figure it's better to have a fugitive who keeps a low profile than to possibly trigger a political event attempting to give her back. Cadens seems to want as many bodies as they can get.

Thorne, on the other hand... she can't say. All she knows is that they definitely hadn't known what she's actually capable of, or they never would have let her remain outside the castle walls. Whatever they saw that made them throw her in the dungeon, they clearly didn't see it all. ]

Things were a clusterfuck after the first two groups. Like, big time. Thorne treats theirs like gold now, but back then, it wasn't the case. At least not for everyone. Someone finally called their bluff and set everyone loose, gave us all the choice of where we wanted to go, here or Solvunn, or stay in Thorne. Most folks didn't need much more incentive to go through the portals.

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