Never in his life has Kaz shared a moment like this with another. He isn't sure what to make of it, that part of him that is scared of physical touch screaming to draw back and yet his heart is saying anything but. He has a moment to be close to her, to offer comfort and truth all in one and he's willing to take that chance. Even if he feels somehow pale and flushed at the same time.
And already his mind is wondering how stupid he is in saying that. Maybe she wanted that distance, that ability to walk away from the Wraith and, in the end, him. But then she says what she does and he draws a breath that feels too cold for his lungs. Like the bitter air of the North but all because he is as flushed as he is, his heart racing in ways it rarely does. Kaz is a master of himself first and foremost and yet this is untried waters and he isn't sure of his ability to swim in them.
Quiet a moment, considering his words in that moment. He's opened up to her physically in that touch they're sharing, and he knows, if they're to go forward, it isn't the only way he'll have to open up to her.
"That night... It was the most frightened I have ever been since I took the name Kaz Brekker," he admits, his words soft and falling into an odd cadence as he forces them out. They're not easy for him but they're important for him to say. "I never take chances without knowing the odds and being sure the outcome. I've never had that with you, never been certain what my chances were, but you have always been worth the risk. Even when you do things that make me utterly and completely furious with you. Even if you ever chose to walk away from it all. You have always been worth the risk."
They may not be romantic words, but for Kaz Brekker they are heartfelt and honest and admitting more than he would to anyone else and therefore the most romantic of all.
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And already his mind is wondering how stupid he is in saying that. Maybe she wanted that distance, that ability to walk away from the Wraith and, in the end, him. But then she says what she does and he draws a breath that feels too cold for his lungs. Like the bitter air of the North but all because he is as flushed as he is, his heart racing in ways it rarely does. Kaz is a master of himself first and foremost and yet this is untried waters and he isn't sure of his ability to swim in them.
Quiet a moment, considering his words in that moment. He's opened up to her physically in that touch they're sharing, and he knows, if they're to go forward, it isn't the only way he'll have to open up to her.
"That night... It was the most frightened I have ever been since I took the name Kaz Brekker," he admits, his words soft and falling into an odd cadence as he forces them out. They're not easy for him but they're important for him to say. "I never take chances without knowing the odds and being sure the outcome. I've never had that with you, never been certain what my chances were, but you have always been worth the risk. Even when you do things that make me utterly and completely furious with you. Even if you ever chose to walk away from it all. You have always been worth the risk."
They may not be romantic words, but for Kaz Brekker they are heartfelt and honest and admitting more than he would to anyone else and therefore the most romantic of all.