{The silhouette against the wall

[shadowthief]

Who: Inej + Various
When: Month of August
Where: Cadens + the Horizon
What: Various closed threads
Warnings: Things that might come up in Inej's narration are: stealing; murder; descriptions of touch aversion, anxiety, depression, PTSD; heavy trust issues, paranoia; mentions of past instances of prostitution, slavery, sexual assault. Everything will be clearly marked if-when it comes up.

Shifting through the dark

Lit up by the white moon

Comments

[shadowthief]

“Then you must be one along with us,” she says, words as bright as her smile. He cannot steal from her the thing he’s handed them this night with any amount of dour mood. These confessions, these promises, they are things beyond anything she might ever have dared hope to gain from him. And that is worth everything.

Inej shakes her head. “Aren’t you listening to a word either of us has said? Stop trying to hold every answer in your hand right this second. You can’t— you don’t even know all of the questions yet.” She’s amused more than annoyed, really. It’s bewildering to watch him try to handle emotions as though they are equations, things easily swayed and understood with enough logic pressed into them.

All sense of teasing or gentle playfulness leaves her at his last admission. It makes her heart leap into her throat to hear it— not in the traditional words, perhaps, but it’s as good as an ‘I love you’ from someone like Kaz. Maybe more.

“Moj hjerte je tvoje—” the words come in her native tongue first but she translates on the heels of it, “my heart is yours.” It had already been for quite some time now, it’s only different now because he seems more keen to accept it, even if he does not understand it.

[bealufull]

"No. Absolutely not. You're both speaking nonsense and I'm the only one with common sense amongst us," he says. It's not sharp or biting but rather the words of a taunt, of defenses and emotions he isn't sure what to do with. It's how he's always spoken to them, even when things weren't fraught with confusion as they are now.

"And it's not rushing. It's refusing not to have answers. Not the same."

It's entirely the same but it's also just who Kaz is. He's never wanted to wait. He's never given things time. He's found solutions to problems and put plans into motion. Logically he ever knows how to set things into motion here. He's just not sure how to actually do it. Not for himself.

He falls quiet, considering their words. He wants to be able to say what they need, to try and give them all that they might want and he's not sure how to do it. Especially with those words from Inej, in her own tongue and then theirs.

"If I believed I had a heart, I would say the same," he finally murmurs. "I just have to try and rebuild it. Because you're both worth that."

[itookashot]

"No, I think for once you're being the greater fool."

Jesper replies with a roll of his eyes. Which is a fun position to be in, since he's typically fulfilling that role with good-tempered spirit. Kaz has so much pride so this is going to be an uphill battle and he knows that, but he is genuinely not concerned. They're on a path. Jesper's always trusted himself to just push through things and win out in the end. It's his way.

He glances toward Inej when she says that and it's a little startling to be in on a conversation with the two of them that is this intimate and personal. He is used to being their third wheel in many ways, and it's never bothered him, and if he didn't know Inej he would feel that he was in the wrong place right then. But she speaks from the heart in her own way, just as he does.

"Kaz, if you didn't have a heart, you wouldn't be here saying these things. You really need to be kinder to yourself. I know kindness isn't a trait you put much stock in, but it's a healing one, when used correctly." It was one of the things Jesper loved about Wylan, his insanely kind once-love. His father also has it in spades, albeit in slightly more rough ways at times.

[shadowthief]

She won't fight on him on the similarities between 'rushing' and 'refusing not to have answers'. For now. He can have that, if he really thinks he needs it.

She scoffs at that declaration. "Oh, you can't fool us on that one. We've already seen your heart. Harder to crack than even the most secure safe, perhaps, but it exists." And guides him, so much more than he'll ever admit.

"We'll be fine," she gently squeezes Jesper's fingers in her own, and Kaz's leg under her other hand. "the lot of us have been through too much together for this to be what becomes our ruin."