[OPEN] cold wind blowing beneath my wings

[coerthantorment]

WHO: Estinien Wyrmblood and YOU
WHAT: Estinien is back in the real world and not particularly happy about it, at least until he manages to meditate his way into the Horizon again. Meanwhile, his cellmate Relena goes missing and he gets very angry about it.
WHERE: In prison and also the Horizon.
WHEN: From July 24th to August 12th
NOTES: If you'd like something more specific with Estinien feel free to hit me up on the Discord or at quixocalypse.

I➔ And Back Again

The descent from the Horizon feels akin to being summoned back to a dead body, both in terms of power and relative comfort. The aches and pains of his imprisonment return with merciless acuity. While his energy had been boundless in that higher realm, here it is reduced to scraps as the ravages of hunger and exhaustion weigh down on him. It's the contrast itself that is the most jarring, along with the fact that he wakes up in shackles.

Yes, the fear that had been haunting his subconscious his entire stay in the Horizon has come back into context. This is what he'd been desperate to escape, and now that he's returned to it, he feels no less dread. Even worse is the fact that Ambrose seems perfectly chuffed with himself for what they've experienced.

Upon being returned to prison, he wonders what it was all for. Any connection to the power of the Horizon seems to be gone, and given that somehow accessing the Singularity was his one hope of escape, their return leaves him in a rather dire mood. To make matters worse, it seems that the guards haven't forgotten about his aggression on the way to the portal, and also on the way back. They decide to deny him food entirely on his first day back to his cell. He should be glad he's not been simply put back into solitary, something in his gut says.

The atmosphere around him is one of miserable defeat, during those first few days back in prison. Even during the recreational hours, his accumulated frailty can be seen. As much as he tries to flex his muscles, he soon finds himself slumping against the rec yard wall. He's tired, starving, and clinging more and more tenuously to any sort of hope. Was the Horizon an escape at all, when it was all according to the High Mage's plan?

II➔ To The Horizon

Fortunately for him, his obsession driven life means he is not one accustomed to giving up for good. It takes only a couple of days before he realizes the futility in surrender - especially when he's hardly explored all his options. The Horizon was something experienced outside the body, was it not? So why not see if the connection remains?

He spends the rest of that day attempting to sink back into the Singularity's power, carefully clearing his thoughts. He is used to stilling his mind from years of being connected to Nidhogg's eye, but it has been a while since such intense concentration was required of him. He's not sure when it happens, but finally, something clicks.

Instead of awakening on his prison mattress, he wakes in a field of rolling grass - and not long after, a pile of snuffling karakul. Everything comes rushing back. He'd remembered his time in the Horizon, but something about experiencing it again reforges the connection between those two states of mind: the mind of the dragon, and the mind of his true self. To think, that all of this had been made by his hand.

He frees himself from the overzealous affection of his flock, a lifetime of memories allowing him to better keep his reflexive fear of them at bay. He wanders the valley for a while, his memories casting all he sees in a new light. What did it mean, that his unshackled soul decided to build this? Was this what he wanted, after everything? He comes along the long bit of housing within his domain, a single-family household carefully crafted of timber, but left completely empty inside. For all the time he'd spent in the valley, he spent little time dwelling on this creation. He thinks he can understand, the emptiness of its walls resonating with a similar emptiness in his heart.

He traces his fingers along the windows, across the door, but he doesn't dare open it. Instead, he decides he'd rather go somewhere else.

Without his memories, he hadn't been particularly curious about other people's domains, mostly interested in his own creations and keeping them safe. Now, though, a lifetime of experiences draws him to the outside world. He wonders if anyone else has reawakened to this place. He traverses the Horizon on foot this time, and occasionally in soaring leaps and bounds that are nearly akin to flying. Yet, he summons no wings. He can't imagine he made a particularly good impression on anyone, the way he was before.

III➔ The Weight of Absence (Aug 5+)

And then, some days later, Relena is taken.

He doesn't know the meaning of it, at first. The guards simply come to remove her from the cell, saying it's for some manner of 'trial', and she goes, with nothing he or Himeka could do to stop it. He demands answers at the time, shouting at the guards, but receives none. Initially, he wonders if she'll be freed, much like Kay was. It'd make sense, he thinks. If the trial was just, he could see no reason for her to be put in solitary or anywhere else, and he knows she has at least one friend on the outside.

Yet, when he doesn't hear anything from her in the coming days, he can no longer rely on that hopeful thought. Kay has been allowed to come and go, just like the other guests. Would Relena not have come to speak to them, after being freed? If not for him, for Himeka or the others?

As each day passes, his frustration and worry increases. He'll start attempting to flag down any passing guests, asking if they have seen her amount the others upstairs. On the way to recreation, he will check to be sure she hasn't simply changed cells, and ask around the other prisoners.

"Relena - the girl from my cell, with the long sandy hair - the guards have taken her somewhere. Have you seen her?"

With fewer and fewer kind possibilities in his mind, he'll start turning his aggression to the guards, shouting at them to ask for her location, and trying to grab at them through the bars when they inevitably ignore him. Finally, he manages to catch sight of a guard he thinks he recognizes from the day she disappeared. He manages to catch them by the arm, dragging them back against the bars of the cell.

"Where is the girl?" he snarls.

Comments

[coerthantorment]

Estinien does think it's fascinating, though he's also been aware there were other worlds for a while now. Between the First and the Dragonstar, there's all kinds of places out there. That part of this transition wasn't the most surprising.

He offers a tiny snort. "I only knew of a 'Black Wolf' in my world." He can see it fitting Geralt, though. There's a certain nobility to that sort of a title. Ultimately, a decent choice.

"A difficult question, but I can try," he says. "I'm never sure what qualities as news in this place." What was universal, what was world-specific, what was something he took for granted about his own home that applies literally nowhere else. There are so many things he could say about Hydaelyn, he doesn't even know where to start. He decides ot begin where he did, in Ishgard.

"Aye. There are kingdoms and city-states much like this one... from what little of it I've seen, at least." He hasn't been allowed to tour Castle Thorne all that much. "I was born in a nation called Coerthas, led by the city-state of Ishgard. Magicks were common as well, though not quite as... oppressive, as the High Mage's activities. I was told that magic here is stronger than more other realms."

"It's actually not the first time I've heard of someone being summoned to another realm by a sorcerer seeking aid... the last one was much more polite, though, from all reports. Apologetic, too."

[cointosser]

He holds back commentary on that -- Black Wolf just feels a bit too foreboding. Or perhaps that what its owner was going for? It's much more worth it to be silent to learn of different worlds. It is absolutely fascinating. If there's anything he hopes to pull from the people he meets here, it's stories of their worlds.

The Horizon, of course, was perfect for that. He's already learned so much! But he -- that one is not worth it. Not now.

Jaskier's plucking of his strings is much more distracted now, listening and setting up what he thinks it may look at in his mind's eye. Luckily, Estinien is a bit more descriptive than Geralt, but still... lacking.

Hmm. Well, at least he'd had a peek inside his head.

"Really?" He looks up with a hint of humor. "Apologetic? We'd be so lucky." Ambrose was quite pleased with himself, after all, and had offered absolutely no apology for bringing them here. Or... okay, he may have at first, but Jaskier had been naked and confused and not been paying attention, exactly. "I've known of magic, but it's the rare sort that can use it, and it's a talent that must be trained. I'm not sure if this sort of... this sort of magic would've been possible, even from the highest of sorcerers. And now they give it to anyone around here! As if it's a free bag of sweets."

Ah, that might come off badly considering... well, there was certainly no magic down here. (Jaskier had made his attempts.) He moves on without acknowledging it. "And what need had this sorcerer to seek aid in the same way?" Because if he hears it was about another large magic catastrophe about to happen that would wipe out all life -- and that this has happened more than once -- he might scream.

[coerthantorment]

Luckily for Jaskier, Estinien just snorts at the comment about sweets. It does seem that way, with how casually it's a part of everything. Most people can do some manner of magic in his world, even if it's expressed primarily through the body. At least, anybody that has much fortune taking up the sword.

Unluckily, Hydaelyn pretty closely resembles the exact sort of tale he doesn't want to hear about - though maybe it doesn't count if it's only for a handful of worlds instead of all of them. Estinien hesitates, as one does when trying to think of how to summarize a long story.

"Tis... a complicated thing," he begins. He doesn't know if Jaskier will have much patience for him explaining the various mechanics that caused all their problems, but he guesses he'll start as simply as he can. "I wasn't present for most of it, so my descriptions may leave something to be desired - but, 'twas a conflict resulting from the... origin of our star's current form." He sighs. He's really not a fan of this story himself.

"Allegedly, there was once only one realm to our star... a world inhabited by godlike beings that could shape the world around them, not unlike our experience in the Horizon. However, some cosmological tragedy caused that world to be torn asunder... split into fourteen shards, each of which then developed their own distinct cultures and territories. Copies of each other, essentially, identical at first but then allowed by time to grow differently."

This is how Alphinaud had explained it, at least.

"The people of that original realm were also divided, their power split as many ways as their world. My home, as I know it, is what was left in the aftermath. Fine enough, I'd say - if not for a collection of beings from that progenitor world, their power intact, desperate to rejoin those disparate parts at the cost of all the new life that had taken root on them."

This is all very heavy, you see - but Estinien seems to speak of it with less than total reverence.

"At any rate... one of the other 'shards' was close to being wiped out entirely. If it had, the resulting magickal... confluence, would have brought about nigh apocalyptic damage to our shard as well. So, a wizard took it upon himself to summon Himeka, and those most bound to her by fate, across the void between shards to help resolve the issue."

He pauses, and then adds as an afterthought:

"She succeeded, for what it's worth. Only for this whole mess to pull her away not long after."

[cointosser]

For someone who barely takes a breath when he talks, Jaskier manages to be silent during the story, his legs folded underneath him, playing the lute as if to give the tale a bit of background spice. Or, at least, to appear as if he was still here to entertain... or to practice.

It takes a bit of mental finagling, separating realm from star. To Jaskier, the concepts would be the same, seeing as they barely understand stars themselves. Stars are untouchable, often explained by faith as spirits, and others as -- well, as something to guide one's way through the sky.

This sundering, though -- how curious. It does not reflect what Jaskier has been taught, but is almost its direct opposite. Instead of the Conjunction, it is the Sundering... separation instead of the worlds crashing together.

At the end of it, he's not even sure what to make of it. His fingers have tangled a few times, the notes sharp. "Ah," is what he falls upon at first, because that sort of runs a bit too closely to what he was afraid of -- more cataclysms. Apparently everyone is always on the edge of a bloody cataclysm. No matter what the sphere.

After a moment, he adds, "So you're being harassed by a few gods who can't cope?" That's definitely what he gets from this. Well, fuck it. What's a god when you've made a few friends with inter-plane sorcerers?

Wait a moment. "Wait. Er. You're saying Himeka is... is some sort of a hero? Where she comes from?"

That...

Huh.

[coerthantorment]

Estinien lets out a raspy laugh. It definitely feels like being harassed at this point - every other season some new disaster is happening because of the Ascians. It had seemed like it was drawing to a close with the reported deaths of the Unsundered, but now one of their underlings is enacting their most bewildering stunt yet.

When to comes to Himeka, though, that smirk fades - not because he's angry, or unhappy, but in a displacement of earnestness. As he answers Jaskier's doubts, it's with a deeply genuine sort of reverence.

"Aye," he says. "In our world, she is called the Warrior of Light. The greatest hero of our star, and seemingly its only hope against the Ascian's end of days."

It's only after he says that, that he allows some humour back into his expression, though it's matched by his quiet fondness.

"...I know she may come across as simple, shorn as she is of her accomplishments, but she is unsurpassed in the healing arts, taught by the elementals themselves. She's bested gods innumerable times and championed dragons. Mayhap it stands to reason that it seems unlike her, and yet all she has done is born from an uncomplicated desire to help all those that cross her path."

[cointosser]

He imagines he must be right on the money with that. And gods, Estinien has a bit of a shit laugh, but there's heart in it as well. He is, once again, a bit glad that the elf in reality is quite a bit less intense than his... well, the literal manifestation of his ego?

And more talkative for the white-haired man Jaskier had first mistaken tales of him for.

He chokes on his next breath, coughing to clear his throat. "I -- I'm sorry, you said the greatest? The greatest hero? On a -- on a whole sphere?"

Oh, there's follow-up to that. Thank the gods.

Nevermind. It doesn't really explain everything.

"I do understand the concept of a hero being rather morally good. Selfless, like you said." It's also that he's never considered heroes -- not in the stories he knows, the wealth of them -- to be small draconic women who inhale wheels of cheese.

Not that there was a thing wrong with that.

"You know, you make it sound as if besting gods is a side job for her. Ah! I'm imagining it. The sort of world that has gods running around like pests, sticking their noses into -- now that I think about it, that does sounds like most gods I know." Perhaps that remains true even here, where the gods are forgotten and often have no names. Perhaps they, too, were pests. "I'll take your word as honest, then. I don't feel as if you're a man whose admiration is easily won."

Just a guess.

Also, it'd be really helpful to know someone who was quite willing to help and a healer. Simply as an added bonus.

[coerthantorment]

Estinien chuckles and nods his head, in apparent agreement on all counts.

"If I were to be honest, it's gotten more and more ridiculous with time... the threats we've faced, and the things she's surpassed. We... had spent some time apart, in recent years. Much has happened in my absence."

In some ways that only feels natural, in others, he can't help but feel some niggling guilt. He's intentionally been a hard man to get ahold of, even when the Scions themselves were trying to get at him. It's hard for him to consciously explain why. There was an unavoidable anxiety to the feeling, but he's never been good at putting names to these things.

"I had just made the commitment to again fight by her side, but not long after we were drawn here. Together, apparently. And this time, instead of being met with honour and apologies, she was thrown in a cage to waste away... and instead of the Scions that have been at her side for so long, 'twas only I."

"She must needs be returned to our home," he says. "She is needed there, more than any other. I fear for everything we hold dear if she is not." He exhales. "But if nothing is resolved here, it sounds as if the problem will be much the same."

[cointosser]

Ridiculous is exactly the sort of description that piques his poetic hard simply because that's the sort of tales that wonderful stories -- the most unforgettable ones -- are made of.

Estinien must have a blessed tongue, because it is so fucking rare for Jaskier to simply sit and listen. He knows a treasure trove when he sees one. Even if these adventures are of little truth, Himeka and Estinien combined could tell him so many stories. Stories of worlds that Jaskier has never touched, full of dragons and gods. Gods! The sort of thing any master storycrafter would kill to have, that sort of inspiration.

And Estinien speaks with a sort of conviction that almost convinces Jaskier himself. A storytale world where heroes are good, the villains are evil, and there is a beautiful, horrible battle between them.

Perhaps also there is some story of romance: and elf and a dragon. What a pair! And if it is not romance, surely it must be love. Loyalty itself can be love. (Romantic love is much more fun, if you ask him.)

"Experience tells me she prefers your company than none at all. It's good you're here together." In the lightest of terms. Himeka's asking after him had bordered near desperation (when she wasn't distracted by other things, understandably.)

To be honest, he thinks the same of himself. If Geralt were not here --

He would be alone. And loneliness was often the worst foe of all.

"Well, I'm convinced." He moves his lute to his back as he shifts to his knees, then stands. It's not what Estinien was particularly trying to do, but Jaskier can't help himself. He must insert himself into this story. "No matter what happens, I'll try to help you and Himeka... you know." Escape. "I fear you sell yourself short, and that you're both needed there. If you're a part of her story, you must remain in this chapter."

Oh, that sounded good.

"Hard to say whether what they tell us is truth or not. If it is, then so be it. But surely there is some way to satisfy both of these issues. This world, and all of ours."

Talk about being a fucking optimist. Being here is turning him soft-hearted.

[coerthantorment]

Estinien watches Jaskier get up, oddly touched by the faith the man seems able to put in him. He supposes, for appearance's sake, they shouldn't talk much longer - but he appreciates Jaskier's outlook, even if it's hard to rationalize. He wants to believe this connection will help them, somehow. That maybe it will all mean something in the end.

"She told me much the same," he admits, and as he does, there is the slightest bit of meekness to it. He's not a man that accepts compliments easily, but when he has multiple people insisting that he should try to stay alive, for her sake and his own, it would be cowardly to deny them outright.

"I can only hope you have the right of it," he says, smiling faintly. "My thanks, Jaskier."

For what exactly he won't say, but this is two times now that Jaskier has been compassionate towards him without urgent cause. He can appreciate that, and he can appreciate the goodness Jaskier seems to see in people.

He will pray that he is proved right.

round it up here?

[cointosser]

"Then you should believe her. She doesn't strike me as the type to lie for flattery."

Sometimes it really is that simple. Or he convinced himself it is.

At any rate, he's fairly glad he's come to see Estinien after their meeting in the Horizon. He certainly can see the man who was there and the man who sits in front of him are one in the same. That one's memories do not define them. And from here on, he could easily be called a friend.

A friend with good stories. Definitely a bonus.

"Oh, please. There's no need for that." He gives a tip of his head in lieu of a bow simply for the sake of not piquing the interest of any guards. "I should retire for the night, but I'll return soon enough. Be as well as you can, my friend."