abraxaslogs | [open] september/october catchall

Jayce knows it grates against his pride so he must really need this to give in. It's very hot but it feels great and he has his hand waiting to help Viktor into the bath safely. It's very necessary and he's glad they stayed awake enough for it because this water will be dirty by the time they get out of it.

Instead of going for the soap right away though, Jayce puts his arms around Viktor once he settles against him and simply holds him. After everything they've been through today and the aches and pains it causes both physically and mentally, he needs to feel his boyfriend in his arms and take solace in it. Nothing is alright about the situation, but he generally feels like everything will be okay, as long as he has Viktor.

"I love you so much, V." He bites back saying he doesn't know what he'd do without him, how he could handle any of this alone, because it creeps too closely into a life surviving him. And that is the last thing he wants to think about right then, having been surrounded by death all day.

He ducks his head down to kiss his cheek, his big hands moving from around him to his shoulders. He gently massages them, very gently, knowing he must be strained, especially with the arm that has to hold the cane.

Viktor reclines, eyes sliding closed and all air in his lungs leaving in a slow exhale. He's not relaxed, and doesn't think he will be, not fully, but this is a start. He's also in no rush to actually get clean--they'll get to it in a moment. For now, all he wants is to simply be with Jayce and feel his closeness. It's no surprise that Jayce feels similarly.

He can read between the lines, and know what isn't being said. There's a waver in Jayce's voice that gives it all away, and Viktor wishes he could be more reassuring. Instead, he leans into the touch, then forward a little bit when Jayce starts to rub his shoulders. After a moment, he finally speaks up.

"Promise that you'll let me take care of you, next." It's easy to indulge in all this--a little harder to get Jayce to accept help, in turn.

It's difficult to spend a day with injured and broken people, and surrounded by bodies as well, and not grasp onto the one thing you don't want to lose. There were a lot of people who lost their partners during the attack and afterward. Jayce is so grateful to have Viktor, to feel him warm and alive, to hear him breathe.

"Of course, love. You need to help wash my hair, you know how important it is to me." Jayce smiles and kisses his cheek again, resting his head against Viktor's for now. He is joking, although his hair is one of the things he's vainest about, so also, not entirely joking. He wants every piece of dust, grime, and possibly blood out of it, thanks.

Since Viktor didn't tell him to stop he takes that as permission and keeps massaging his shoulders. Jayce is very thorough at this and goes a little deeper, careful to hear for whether it's too painful so he can go gentle again. His hands are large enough to span most of Viktor's thin torso easily and he rubs down into his back.

"What did you do today?"

"I can't be bothered to remember your regimen. We'll do it my way."

That is perhaps a little bit of a threat. But, yes, he'll be more than happy to occupy his mind with simple tasks like getting clean and doing a few basic chores around the flat. Anything to get his thoughts off of everything they experienced today, and his own pain.

Leaning back against Jayce and having those broad hands work over him is helping. The warm water starts to sink in, and already he feels his eyes start to flutter closed, conversation the only thing keeping him awake.

"Inventoried supplies. Repaired equipment. Helped where I could."

Arguably Jayce had the harder job, given Viktor's limitations, but it's clear that he's worn out, regardless.

"Clean is all it needs to be today."

Jayce is not about to style his hair and usually he wouldn't go to bed with his hair wet, it'll wake up a mess, but he really doesn't care. He needs a bath, food, and sleep, and those can come in quick order. He knows Viktor is the same but they are both very much enjoying the chance to relax and unwind.

He holds Viktor to him and slides a hand down his hip to his bad leg. Jayce is very good at this now, gently massaging the worn muscles in his thigh. He knows it is particularly in pain so he's being careful.

"I'm not surprised we both overdid it, we're not good at taking it easy."

It doesn't matter that Jayce had the harder job, they both ended up exhausted and overworked. And if people hadn't insisted on Jayce taking a break, he might have kept going until he passed out.

"Jaskier asked me to make some bracelets for him of that new metal we're getting from Nocwich. I was thinking we could make something together too. From what I hear, it has really useful magical properties."

It meant a lot to Jayce, for Jaskier to give him any way he could make up for his bad choice with the bugs.

Edited 2022-10-14 02:21 (UTC)

"Glad to hear your vanity has limits."

The warm water helps, but when Jayce starts massaging his bad leg, he winces involuntarily, tensing for a moment before he wills himself to relax. He knows by now that there's no real hiding the extent of his pain from Jayce, but he still tries to, as a force of habit. Now, however, pushed to his limit, there's no real masking any of it.

Talking about work is always a good distraction. The timing of this new resource from Nocwich is not ideal, given the work that still must be done in Libertas, but he'd be remiss in his duties as an inventor if he didn't explore the potential uses of this material.

"Yes, I'm interested in this metal as well. Do you think you could use its inherent magical properties to enhance your enchantments?"

Jayce does try to respect that sometimes Viktor doesn't want him to know, even if he absolutely does know, when pain is bad. He hid it for so long from Jayce that he didn't know Viktor was dying. He knew he was in pain and not feeling well, but could never make that leap to something so horrible. Now that he knows, he wants to try to do anything he can to make it a little easier.

He pauses when Viktor tenses, waiting for him to relax in a subtle permission, and he is as gentle as he can be while still digging into that muscle to ease its strain. Jayce would be quick to point out that he's positive Viktor would do the same thing for him. His other hand keeps massaging his shoulders, kissing his cheek.

"That was exactly what I was wondering. I won't know until I get it and we can practice on it, see how it goes. With the practice I've had plus the new book of academic magic on it, I think we'll have a lot of options."

He says we because Viktor could use plenty of them for his own inventions and work too.

"It might be worth looking into spells that could potentially be used on the Hexcore, you know. To bolster strength and make it sturdier." They have access to magic here. They should use it as much as they can.

He grunts at the pressure of Jayce's thumbs digging into the hard knots in his shoulders and the stiffness in his leg, but it's not an unpleasant feeling. One he feels some of the pain start to ebb, Viktor will lean forward and reach for the soap, bringing it closer for when they inevitably decide it's time to use it.

"It's likely I could determine some of the exact properties."

Despite this, they both know why Viktor is wary of his own magic--why he's been reluctant to delve too deeply. Still, Jayce is right. At this point, anything and everything might help, and Viktor is encouraged by the book that Jayce has from Kell. Maybe he can give it another try.

"I'd like to go through the book together. Maybe you can teach me some of what you've learned."

"I'm sure Lee will let me know when it gets here so we can get started. I've heard it's very brittle physically, so not physically weak, magically strong."

It's a give and take in a way. Jayce will probably be a light more excited when he has it in his hands to work with, and a lot of this misery is behind them. Not that it'll stop being miserable, but eventually everyone will have to go back to normal life, even them. He's not against trying to outfit the Summoned in magical defenses and enchantments where possible. And the civilians, later on.

He is filled with a surge of delight, his first actually good feeling in this entire day, and manages to smile, easing off Viktor's muscles now that he's given them a little soothing.

"I would love to do that."

Viktor has concerns with his specific magic, but there's so much Abraxan magic in general, and Jayce has taken to it extremely well and quickly. Healing magic, obviously, but other spells. It would be great to add these sets of skills to their work together like any other. Jayce slides his finger down into the water and murmurs an academic spell for heat, keeping the water hot instead of cooling down for them.

"Maybe we can stay closer together tomorrow. I like being near you."

"Perhaps better for jewelry or charms, then. Or forge it with something stronger for tools. We'll figure it out."

He has complete faith in that. Getting their hands on the new material, plus documentation of Thornean magic to explore will give them some exciting new projects. He doubts it will distract them from the increasingly fraught political situation, but they need to stay occupied. They're always better when they have a project.

Now that he feels a little more comfortable, Viktor carefully turns so that he's facing Jayce, adjusting his position with his legs on either side of Jayce's waist before he reaches for the shampoo and a cup. His hand slides gently against Jayce's neck, encouraging him to lean in.

"Bend this way." Viktor promised to wash his hair, after all. "You should go where you're most needed."

"We can make matching necklaces. We're already that ridiculously cute couple."

Jayce likes that, it'll be simple and be on their torso, honestly the right place for anything protection minded if it's a direct attack. They'll figure it out when they see it for themselves. The two of them definitely do always need to keep busy. Even on their 'vacations' they were doing a lot and kept busy.

Jayce lets Viktor rearrange himself on him and leans forward to let him clean his hair. It is hard in a way to let someone take care of him too, but he manages with Viktor, and he likes it. His hands fall down to Viktor's hips and he caresses his fingers along the small of his back, simply wandering with his touch because it is intimate and he likes that.

"Which will be the hospital, and you can definitely find ways to help there."

Viktor rolls his eyes. He's not sure he's ready to talk about matching jewelry yet, but there's a part of him that likes the sentiment. He's not necessarily a designer of such trinkets, but the thought of crafting something personal together with Jayce is a more appealing thought than he anticipated.

"Again, if I were to look at us from the outside, I would probably hate it."

He pours the cup of water over Jayce's head, using his free hand to scrub through his hair, making sure it's wet before he reaches for the soap.

"Okay. Now tilt back." He doesn't want to get shampoo in Jayce's eyes, after all, rubbing it between his hands for a moment before reaching up to start scrubbing it through his hair. Viktor's hands are gentle but firm, massaging his scalp as he works it in.

"We'll see." Even if it would be nice, to stay near Jayce all day. "I'll go where I'm needed, too."

Jayce is highly sentimental so of course he likes the idea of them getting matching bracelets. (Some day they're also going to have rings.) He knows that Viktor secretly likes it because otherwise he would shut it down right away. His love has a tendency to not be as expressive as he is, but he's not hard to read between the lines with.

"But you're not on the outside, you're on the inside, and you love it."

He smiles at him and tilts his head back. It feels so good to have Viktor's perfect long fingers in his hair and while he'd rather be doing this when they're happy and being frisky in a bath, this is comforting and what is actually needed. Jayce is thorough with his hair so he's glad to see Viktor doing the same. And being cared for is always reassuring. He'll get to do his hair next.

"The hospital needs people, not just medics." It's very short-staffed as most people were running around finding bodies. It'll only get worse on that end tomorrow. "Just consider it, okay?" Jayce would feel better with him nearby, so that part is selfish, but hands are needed everywhere.

"Enough."

Viktor is betrayed, however, by the relative gentleness of his tone. He's not fooling anyone. He scrubs for a few moments longer than he might ordinarily need to, making sure to get at all the dust and grime, with the added bonus of massaging Jayce a little in the process. He smooths a hand up his forehead, encouraging him to tilt further so that he can pour another cup of water over his hair to rinse, avoiding getting anything in his eyes.

"If they have equipment that needs repairing, I'll consider it. Otherwise I'll go where I'm needed, regardless of your location." Viktor is always adamant that he doesn't need supervision or protection. They don't have the luxury to indulge in things like this, when the situation is so dire. "I wouldn't ask the same of you, if your talents were best used elsewhere."

"Our talents can be used everywhere. There's no place in this situation we couldn't make better, given the chance."

But they can't be everywhere at once. They're doing their best but it's impossible. And Jayce does hate that, he still feels that urge that he needs to fix everything that is wrong around him. He lets his hair get rinsed out and he looks as tired as he feels. He looks defeated in a way, because of that lack of fixing capability. They'll keep at it, at least, but he has yet to become jaded to the worst.

"I don't want to argue. So, whatever you want."

Jayce rubs his eyes to make sure the water didn't touch it and then he cups Viktor's face gently, kissing him once in a placating type of way. "Now your mop of hair." He smiles faintly; he likes it longer.

"Let's worry about it tomorrow."

Jayce is right--there's no sense in getting into an argument about it, not when they're both exhausted and in pain and anything they fight about now is going to make things unnecessarily stressful. Viktor is wiling to concede, for now, if only to avoid aggravating them both. He leans into the kiss and lets it linger to indicate that he's willing to set it aside for now.

"All yours."

Jayce can recognize that there are no-win scenarios with a conversation when they're both like this. He doesn't want their crankiness to make it worse. If they want to bicker tomorrow when they've slept and eaten, they can do that with their minds clearer. Right now all he wants is to find comfort in Viktor. He is alive and they have their intimacy to lean on in bad times. He hasn't really had that before. They have always been close friends, but there were boundaries. Not anymore.

Jayce takes the cup from him and mirrors his actions, tilting Viktor's head back and pouring the water back from his face to wet his hair. His is longer and thicker so he needs more water and shampoo than Jayce. The first time they were intimate together he got to wash Viktor's hair and he has a particular love for it. His fingers dig into the wet strands as he puts the shampoo deep into the roots.

"I am so glad we have this, V. I think everything we've been through would be a lot harder if I couldn't fall into bed with you every night." Jayce never stops being grateful for them, but the nightmares were easier wrapped up in Viktor's arms, and this grief is easier with someone to lean on.

It's very tempting to fall asleep sitting up, the only thing that stops him the gentle nudge of Jayce moving him into position and the pull of his fingers through the tangles in his hair. He leans in and his eyes flutter closed. The water is warm and Jayce's hands are practiced.

"That bed is sounding more appealing every minute."

There's a small smile on his face. It's strained, still, but Viktor is less tense than he was upon their return. When the danger of soap in his eyes has passed, he blinks them open and reaches for a washcloth, lathering it so that he can reach out for Jayce to rub away some of the dirt and grime.

"Much better."

Jayce rinses off his hair, making certain his eyes are covered again first, and keeps stroking his fingers through the strands after he probably needs to. He just likes it. Who would ever want to bathe alone again when you can have this?

"As much as I love lingering in the bath with you, you look like you're going to fall asleep any second, love."

Jayce knows that the moment his head hits the pillow and he curls up with Viktor, he'll be out. It is easy to lull when feeling comfortable like this. He is getting cleaner by the minute and he takes the washcloth once Viktor is done with him. It goes fast when they both want it to, although another time he would probably encourage them to stay where they are. When things are better, when grief isn't hanging over everything. He leans forward to kiss Viktor's cheek and sits up, curling an arm around him to hold him close.

Whenever Viktor lets him steal affection, and he does most of the time, he does so, it's soothing. "We're good enough, sweetheart, let's get to bed." They can worry about every speck being gone tomorrow, when they have to do it all over again. He releases Viktor and offers him a hand so he can use it to stand. Jayce could literally just lift him and carry him to the bed, and he is tempted, but knows Viktor would grumble about it.

"It's all starting to catch up with me."

But Jayce knows that already, probably because he's in a similar state. They should eat something, but the prospect of just getting to sleep is far too tempting. There's always the morning, before their next shift.

(It will not be the first meal Viktor neglects to have--it won't be the last.)

Viktor reminds himself that if they stay in the bath much longer, they'll end up soggy and wrinkled, so he wills himself to grab Jayce's hand. He leans on Jayce perhaps a bit more heavily than he usually would, but ultimately his pride wins out. Maybe once he's dry.

"Towels. Please."

They really should eat, and it's not like Viktor can afford neglected meals, not that Jayce makes mention of it. His healing can only go so far when his body is still worn to the bone. He holds Viktor up before standing himself and getting the towels. He gives one to Viktor and kisses his forehead.

"Let's take a five-minute stop in the kitchen, alright? Something fast." He puts the towel around his waist although it has a habit of not staying for long, he's been working on it, but he also doesn't care much about covering up. It definitely has to protect his hair though when he sleeps. It curls too much if left wet. He knows Viktor could set off his pride so he adds. "I forgot to eat too, Petra managed to get me a snack." It wasn't enough but it made him less light-headed. Jayce is big, he actually does need to consume more to keep his strength up.

He puts an arm around Viktor's waist to keep him close, and also doubles as a way for him to lean on someone without it being obvious. "Just some fruit or something, and then bed."

"I don't have much of an appetite."

If Jayce brings him something, he'll try, but it seems Viktor has already decided. He takes the towel and presses it against his face, scrubbing it through his hair before wrapping it around his shoulders. It takes only moments for the cold to set in, so given the chance he'll be making a beeline for the bedroom.

Once he's stopped dripping, Viktor tries to pull them in that direction, if only so he can get some clothes back on.

"If you bring something in here, I'll share it with you."

Jayce willingly goes toward the bedroom since he knows Viktor gets colder than him and he needs to get into sleepwear. He kisses him on the cheek sweetly and goes off to the kitchen. He genuinely has no plans on taking a while or making an actual meal, they can do that in the morning. It is as simple as pulling out an apple for both of them and some bread. Easy, basic. Good for Viktor not having a big appetite. He's already back by the time Viktor finishes getting dressed.

Jayce often sleeps in the nude because he is hot all of the time and Viktor is chilly, so his body heat plus the blankets balance him out. He sighs as soon as he settles on the bed, sitting up so he can eat what he brought. The towel is moved to his head to protect his treasured hair.

"It's good that I've learned medic skills as well as magic, sometimes all it takes is first aid." And it spares him running out of energy faster. He and Nadine have been studying together for months, although she's a much better field medic than he is. "I wonder if after the damage report is in, they'd be willing to let us help rebuild." Typical Jayce, seeing this as a long-term project. He's strong and can make tools and carry things for them.

Viktor's "sleepwear" is mostly just his own pairs of undershorts and one of Jayce's oversized shirts. Jayce is only gone for a moment, but in that time the risk of sleep is so great that Viktor has pulled out one of his notebooks and started writing in it, if only to stay awake long enough to appease Jayce. When he settles into the bed, Viktor immediately sidles up next to him, though he doesn't take any food just yet.

"They'd be foolish not to let us." Again, Viktor voices some frustration at being brought here for some greater purpose, only to be held in reserve when there's a real issue that could use their expertise. "A waste of our talents."

With that voiced, he sets aside his notebook and curls up against Jayce's side. Only then does he take a slice of apple. "Perhaps focus more on the first aid, tomorrow. So as not to exhaust yourself out unnecessarily."

Jayce loves seeing Viktor in his clothing, he's not entirely sure why. It could be just a reminder that they're intimate with each other and Viktor likes having even this small part of Jayce with him. The first time he saw it he got very frisky but for now he simply smiles and puts an arm around Viktor's shoulders.

"I guess we'll see. We also have to keep our business going. We'll find a way to balance all of it."

They still need the income, especially as they work on the Hexcore and need easy substances at hand. It's fine, it's not like it is new that the two of them have many projects all at once. He eats the apple slices and gives Viktor some of the bread too. They are both so tired so it'll be easy to slip away soon.

"It depends on who comes in." But the reality is as the days go on, injuries will be handled and first aid will be the obvious answer, and bodies will be all that's left out there to handle. Which Jayce himself has no intention of doing. He's seen enough of that, he would rather focus on healing.

He shifts his legs so that he can pull the blanket over them and snuggle Viktor to him. "We have to eat a real breakfast before we go, we won't be strong enough without it."

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