[ CATCH-ALL ] and I broke my heart in two

[londonbound]

Who: Rhy Maresh & others
When: throughout September, early October
Where: Castle Thorne, Nott, Horizon
What: In the aftermath of the attack on Nott, Rhy is doing his best to help out as a healer in the fields, taking on the firefighting quest, and otherwise being fucked up about all the damage and casualties already piling up.
Warnings: blood, possible violence, will add as needed.




(( hit me up @ belleteyn or @ lenafish#3861 on disco. PM is cool too.

I'm happy to write you a custom starter!! even if we've never threaded before!! i am simply very bad at open ones. ))

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[londonbound]

Kell is right that he's not like her, though Rhy still considers the carelessness of his own actions unforgivable, intentional or not. And that is where they differ most, of course: that he actually feels guilty, and he's rather sure she doesn't give a shit.

"How could she have such disregard for her own people?" he asks no one in particular, but the tone of his voice is low and angry.

"Attacking without thinking, without defending her own people first. And now this, the level of poverty and neglect here is... it's unthinkable. These are the people who provide for the kingdom. They should be treated with respect. No wonder the people here hate the crown."

[blackeyedprince]

Kell squeezes Rhy's hand, pulls him into even a tighter embrace. As if this could ease the suffering. It's so very Rhy to be moved by such blatant injustice. So very much him to so emphatically refuse the reality of it.

"Because she is a small, selfish, unimaginative little weasel not worthy of her title, her crown or her people." And Kell hopes she dies a gruesome death. Preferably, at the hands of those she had wronged so much. Those whose life she treated as disposable with her actions. "Unfortunately, such people exist."

[londonbound]

"I know," Rhy sighs. He wishes it were otherwise, but though he might be upset, he's not that naïve. Of course he understands some people are only in it for the power, that there are corrupt and even evil rulers everywhere. It's just so unfathomable to him on a personal level, even if logically his mind can process it as something sadly not even that strange.

It's difficult to reconcile the sense of responsibility he still feels, with nowhere to direct it.

"I wish we could do more."

And then, even more quietly, buried against Kell's shoulder: "I miss home."

[blackeyedprince]

Kell lets out a long exhale. The air he didn't even know he was holding. It doesn't make him feel better to know that they, foreign royalty, are already doing more than people that should be here and helping. That's already a pretty low bar. It doesn't help that the thing he'd most like to do, go there and just yell at this stupid woman until she wakes up, would not help, but most likely make things worse. And he hates feeling so powerless.

"I know, I miss it too," he admits. "Horribly. Even the small, stupid things." He smiles, a bleak, weak smile. "Like hats. You had so many silly hats."

[londonbound]

"I can buy silly hats here," Rhy mumbles. He knows that's not what Kell means, but he can't help but sound a little resentful. He's just so frustrated and angry and sad.

He misses his mother and father. Being able to ask them for advice, lean on them for support and guidance. He misses Tieren's calm and wisdom.

He feels so helpless.

[blackeyedprince]

"They won't be the same. They don't know how to make proper silly hats here."

Kell latched on this irrelevant detail because he aggressively tries not to think about people. Not to think about Tieren. Tieren who always knew what to say, always had a good word, or a stern one if Kell deserved it. Always knew how to right his course whenever Kell let his magic steer him the wrong way. Who would sigh and roll his eyes, but cover up their antics as long as they were just stupid and not actively destructive to others.
Who would tell Kell he's being dramatic, when he was, but would listen and understand anyway.

He even misses their parents.

[londonbound]

Of course Kell doubles down on the point. For some reason, it's-- well, maybe funny isn't the word. But it breaks through, somehow, a moment of levity in the heavy creeping of despair.

Rhy lets out a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh.

"...yeah, maybe you're right," he whispers, closing his eyes and leaving Kell's sleeve damp with the tears that fall.

[blackeyedprince]

Sometimes he'd say the stupidest things just to make Rhy laugh. Sometimes it works. Kell didn't expect it to work this time. His comment was an attempt to steer his own thoughts away from the misery of the situation they both found themselves in. But he's glad that it works. Something. Anything. For once.

"I think I am."

Any other time, he would have followed it with some witty remark, but now he's just too tired. Still, tired is good when it's just tired. Not drowning in the bottomless abyss of misery like he was just a moment ago. Feeling like all his efforts are futile and hopeless. He'll take tired over that any time.