abraxaslogs | as we circle the moon [open]

If he backed up into light conversation, Istredd would allow it. He doesn't push these things. He only does it when absolutely necessary or important, it's smarter to let people come to things on their own. But he feels like there's something strong going on here, a bond perhaps sliding into place more firmly. An acknowledgement of one too. He said since Yennefer but it was unspoken there, a continuation that meant until now.

He knows what he means by the affliction, the way it emptied out all memories of anyone that used to matter. They became forgotten names or empty spaces. Gone. For most people that is difficult. For someone struggling with whether or not they want those connections, it's complicated. He slides his hand off Lucifer's back, he's been keeping it there too long, but he's still sitting close. His calm presence hopefully soothing.

The kid finally puts into perspective what is haunting him. Istredd knows about Wilhelm, although he hasn't connected with the boy himself. It makes sense that the pain from that conflict is lingering. For himself, it warms his heart. It means some of his loneliness is stripped away and that is hard because it flirts with loss too. He's been there. But there is strength in knowing what is real.

"The god blinded you, but we never really left you, Lucifer. You just have to choose to open your eyes and see what's in front of you."

He drags a hand over his face, clearly exhausted by now. "You and her are going to be the death of me," Lucifer gripes, not exactly in complaint. Maybe just fact, signed and stamped. He has no idea what to do with that particular point but it tips him towards something other. Unknown territory.

He spent so long in Abraxas trying to manipulate a network of people that would rely on him and thus provide him protection it return. People that had potential to be stronger than Lucifer in his current state. A defense while twisting intentions.

That worked and then nearly completely backfired on him.

Ah.

Hm.

Well.

"For the record," and now he, finally, draws away from that deep dive of talking, but still in some form of seriousness. "The person I thought I had to protect myself from isn't actually here. I thought they were a--brother from another... world. Turns out they're my actual brother. Ha!" he makes a wheezed, winded sound. "Funny how that goes." He's not laughing, but he's not particularly bothered.

"It's interesting you ended up friends with both of us. Wanda is important to me, we share a very strong bond due to our similar powers."

Specifically their telepathy. From the moment she stepped into his Horizon and they mentally connected, his world has somewhat changed, since he too never had such an immediate tug toward someone. And usually in training his mages learn how not to share thoughts so easily, but with her, they've just put it all on the table when they are together. Thoughts, emotions, memories. He also understands chaos magic, despite not having her specific kind of it, he knows that particular sort of madness.

And then there is Lucifer, the first person he truly met here, who they don't share a psychic bond and yet they have a purely real one. He smiles faintly, turning the fact around in his head. Maybe it does make sense. They are outcasts who have made mistakes and seek understanding while also isolating themselves from judgment. It's sentimental but also rational.

He raises his eyebrows when Lucifer explains about his brother. Lucifer did seem very concerned at one point about potential trouble. "I suppose that is a positive thing? Your actual brother is less of a concern than this other version." Istredd doesn't know the first thing about family. The Brotherhood is but a title, none of them really act as family in the end. Colleagues most of the time, sometimes friends.

"Who is your brother?"

"Her and I have a strange... similar understanding, perhaps. Similar outlook at life."

The potential is there, anyway. For prophecy, for darkness, for cages, for what everyone view them as and deciding what they are without ever giving them a chance.

It's a lot to unpack and Lucifer's mostly given up and accepted it for what it is.

"He's still a concern, just one of a different kind. Michael."

He isn't even sure how to describe Michael. He's dragged his brother's name through the dirt but that was before the possibility of him being here. But even... meeting with him. Even in Lucifer's dismal state... his brother had clearly gone through some things.

"It's not that I don't recognize him, but... he's 'further ahead' than I am, I guess. And I'm not sure where we stand. It should be the same place as always which is... oh," he forces a smile, sharp in its own right, "copious amount of violence and vitriol."

"We opened our telepathic and telempathic abilities the first time we met. We can read each other's thoughts and feelings when we are together, completely open."

Lucifer was concerned about having a telepathic roommate once he found out he had those skills, but Istredd has hopefully proven that he has no intention of crossing a boundary. Because he already has a bond with someone else, opened up in an extreme way. That is something they could both technically share with Lucifer if he ever wanted to, but for them it was the most natural thing to happen.

He listens when he talks about his brother. He understands what he means by further ahead, Istredd has experienced that himself. He is from a different point in the timeline than Yennefer, for example, and perhaps Geralt, that is harder to say as their paths diverged quickly. Istredd is not surprised to hear brothers could be violent and angry at each other. Blood thicker than water isn't a concept for him.

"The past need not govern the future, especially not here. We are separated from our world and everything tying us to our fate there. Any conflict you two bring here is voluntary." Istredd shrugs. "In summary, it doesn't have to be copious amounts of violence and vitriol."

Edited 2022-11-29 11:48 (UTC)

One day he might be willing.

One day maybe he will have a mind that isn't just filled with secrets. One day he won't just be Sannleikr and masks.

It didn't seem likely before.

But...

"You and her talk up a similar game, that's for sure. Maybe it is because you're in each other's heads." He grins, though it's small, nearly dismissive. More humor than he's had since Istredd's found him up here though. "I don't have any intention of striking against him first. We'll have to see what he does in response."

Istredd smiles back, shrugging. "We're similar people too." Istredd is far calmer and more collected, but he also is much older than Wanda. He's had decades to get to the icy reserve he has now and the ability to make it real, not a mask.

"I think it comes from a place of wanting to believe it's possible to move forward. It's not just advice. It's a hope."

Wanda from the many terrible things that happened to her, Istredd from his experience with Yennefer, the elves, and a lifetime of isolation. He wasn't really familiar with the sense of loneliness until he came here. Or the interest in filling it. He's still coming to terms.

"What should I do if I meet him?"

Lucifer doesn't understand the concept of hope, but... maybe. He doesn't comment on it though.

"Be a massive pain in his ass," Lucifer says. "He'd hate that." He rolls his eyes. "But I'd prefer you stay in one piece so maybe don't. Try not to piss him off, he holds a grudge worse than I do."

"I wouldn't know how to be that annoying. I'm very charming and likable and no one has ever wanted to beat me to death with my own books."

He says this very, very dryly. As if he has been threatened with that more than once. He's probably been threatened with that more times than anything else, it's the personal touch of being so irritating people want to get more creative than a simple stabbing.

"Come on, you've been up here brooding long enough. I can't teleport us both down, so we'll have to do it the normal way."

Michael better not stab Istredd because Lucifer is going to be genuinely put-out if he does.

He could brood for an eternity, don'tcha know? But, fair. He brushes off his legs and stands, not exactly sure what the normal way even is.

He could easily fly down and Istredd could teleport, no problem.

He chooses not to, and follows after Istredd.

as we circle the moon [open]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Can wrap here or on yours :D

important closer