ᴛʜᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛᴇᴏᴜs ᴍᴀɴ ( ᴊᴇɴɴɪғᴇʀ ᴀɴᴋʟᴇs ) (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
righteously) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
abraxaslogs2022-11-28 07:39 am
righteously) wrote in abraxaslogs2022-11-28 07:39 am
Sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍᴇ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴀɢᴏ → ( ᴏᴘᴇɴ )
WHO: Dean Winchester
WHAT: catch-all with open prompts; the mark of cain is beginning to take a toll on Dean, resulting in some violent altercations and moodiness. also included: a quick trip to the naked werewolf baths.
WHEN: november-december
WHERE: cadens, nocwich, horizon
WARNING: alcoholism, corruption, violence, brutality, suicidal ideation, nudity
Tʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴀ ᴄᴀʟᴍ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛᴏʀᴍ
I ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴ' ғᴏʀ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ
WHAT: catch-all with open prompts; the mark of cain is beginning to take a toll on Dean, resulting in some violent altercations and moodiness. also included: a quick trip to the naked werewolf baths.
WHEN: november-december
WHERE: cadens, nocwich, horizon
WARNING: alcoholism, corruption, violence, brutality, suicidal ideation, nudity
I ᴋɴᴏᴡ, ɪᴛ's ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴍɪɴ' ғᴏʀ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ
no subject
He raises an eyebrow at the better than me personal jab because it reminds him of something he would say about Viktor and Caitlyn. He always sees the two of them as better than him, because it isn't always easy for him to see himself as the good guy. Not even when Dean says so and he smiles warmly. Jayce likes to hear it, it's important to hear it sometimes, but it is a little harder to believe it when his hands still have blood on them.
He does laugh when Dean takes it back though and takes his chin, tilting it back and forth to be certain it looks straight.)
Wow your compliments are apparently worthless if you turn them around so quickly.
( It does remind him of when Dean was trying to breathe around the smoke again and managed to cough up both insults and compliments at the same time. He's a very interesting man, Dean Winchester. )
Give me a second.
( He disappears for a moment into the washroom and returns very quickly, this time with a clean black collared shirt. His own, he keeps them in here for when he's working out and needs to be professional. Dean is not quite his bulk but it should fit just fine on him, overall. It'll help considering his clothes are questionable even if the rest of him is healed. )
You are a good man too, Dean. You know how I know that?
( Jayce turns his back so Dean can change into his shirt if he wants to. He deserves some privacy. )
You asked me to make a tattoo gun and spent your time in the inn giving protection signs to any Summoned who wanted one for free. You let people relax in your Horizon. You care a lot about others, anyone can see that. And they care about you. Maybe you should keep that in mind when you think about hiding things from them.
no subject
That quietness carries on as he accuses Dean of being good, but in a way that's less wry and more... somber. It drives his eyes to dropping, settling on dust, pointed at the ground without really seeing it. The smile fades, nearly vanishes. The ghost of it that lingers feels more sad than not.
Even before the mark, he wouldn't necessarily believe that. Might put more effort into trying to internalize it, but now? He doesn't even bother.
If only you knew.
Maybe it's that, maybe it's guilt, maybe it's a quiet fondness for Jayce — whatever it is, something drives him into a (recently uncharacteristic) moment of honesty.
He flits his eyes up again after a moment of silence, and lets slip a confession.
Hiding things from them. )
I think... things are about to get... kinda bad. ( For him. For the people around him. ) I just want you to know... if I-
( Screw up, treat you badly, act like a dick, say or do something to hurt you, I don't mean it. That's too much, isn't it? You can't preemptively apologize for something you haven't done yet and have it mean anything. He's giving away too much, and it's not even valuable.
He licks his lips. Shakes his head. Pivots. )
I'm glad I met you. You and Viktor... you two got a real good thing going, and you deserve- a thousand puppies and a freakin'... franchise or something. That's all.
no subject
Dean, I consider you a friend.
[ To Jayce, friendship is everything. He is someone who strictly believes in making your own family, that it isn't always blood, it can be a community. He's only had a few strong connections until recently, but they've always been treasured. So friendship to him isn't 'I'll help you move,' it's 'live together die alone.' ]
Whatever that means, you can count on me. If I can help you, I will. Haven't I always come running so far?
[ Literally, at least once. Jayce is troubled though, it's nice, to think they deserve so much, but that sounds very much like a goodbye of sorts, and he isn't comfortable with that. ]
Listen, when I first got here, I was in a terrible spot. I'd just done some horrible things, let myself get into a dark spot. And I hid it from Viktor for months, I didn't want anyone to know.
[ Jayce was the Man of Progress, the shining beacon of Piltover. And privately, he was a moral person who cared about improving the world, changing it in the best of ways. His intentions had always been good before. It was shocking to suddenly see the depth of which he could fall. And still have no idea who he was now, with all of that behind him.
It's still a work in progress, accepting this new version of himself. Learning to live within the flawed shell of a person he'd never truly been. Being loved does help, but it doesn't make it perfect. ]
If I was open with the people around me before things got bad, I probably would've been better off. I wouldn't underestimate the importance of letting others in.
no subject
It hits a core place in Dean that Jayce probably doesn't intend. He can't know the impact, the fundamental code that makes up Dean Winchester, programmed to respond to a sentiment like that. It hearkens back to a few years ago, to a warehouse, to I always come when you call. It resonates.
It bypasses all the intentions Dean had to shut this thing down, to end this interaction without dragging Jayce any deeper into his bullshit. He chews the inside of his cheek. Looks down at his arms, now clad in a borrowed shirt.
At the scar branded on it.
Slowly, as though fighting his way through an upstream current, he rolls up his sleeve and bares it. )
This... mark. It's... a curse. A bad one, from back home. It's... I got people looking into it. I have somebody set to- handle it, if things get out of hand, but it's... it's breaking me down. It's not good, and it's gonna get worse before it gets better.
no subject
His thick eyebrows furrow as he looks at the mark on Dean's arm. If Dean didn't explain, he would've thought it a strange tattoo of sorts. ]
A magical curse?
[ His mind runs through a dozen different questions, crossing out a few in a moment since he assumes they would have already gone through options. Burning it off, using magic against it, obviously if they could break the curse they would. He doesn't like the sound of this 'handling it.' ]
Is that what happened tonight? And that's why you don't want them to know?
[ If Dean is afraid it is breaking him down, that would explain his exhaustion at the idea of questions and concerns. Jayce considers and starts to pace in the space, he often does that when they're thinking through projects. His brilliant mind is capable of many things, but he is still learning about magic. ]
Okay it's from your world, so the obvious thing is ... we're going to have to think outside the box. Use what makes this place special in order to combat it. That's what we've done to work on curing Viktor.
[ Technically the Hexcore is similar, but the serum is completely different. Viktor was going to die no matter what, because he didn't have the ability to get all the things he could here. It isn't actually something he's talked about with Dean before, Viktor's fatal illness, but that's not the point. He's focused on the problem. ]
We have access to advanced magic of all kinds here, they must have curses and anti-curses. My friend in Thorne is a mage, maybe he can see if they have texts we don't.
no subject
That's- no. Look... thanks, I appreciate the thought, but I didn't tell you this hoping you'd... fix it, or heal it, or anything like that.
( Maybe it's clear enough in his tone that he doesn't think it's possible; there's no hope in there. No expectation. )
I just... I don't know. I wanted you to know, in case things go... bad. So you'd know why.
( So you'll know it's not me. Not really.
At the end of all things, if he goes dark side and Geralt has to kill him, he finds some comfort in the thought that Jayce will understand. He's saying this out of some stupid, selfish hope to preserve Jayce's opinion of him preemptively, after the worst case scenario. )
no subject
Okay, I get it, whatever you're worried about, I'll understand it is the curse, but Dean.
[ He pauses to sort his thoughts out instead of jumping right into what normally would be a fiery or passionate speech about hope and optimism. Jayce has a tendency to do that, and he believes in it every time he does, but this is a serious situation and he's not at a podium. The Man of Progress is retired. This is just Jayce in his normal sincerity.]
You have access to resources you didn't have before and are surrounded by people who care about you. You have a better chance of finding a solution than you think, the impossible happens every day here.
[ Them just being there should be impossible. ]
Just ... please don't give up yet. Things might seem bleak, but it's not over.
no subject
Knowing and having faith are two very different things, though. )
Thanks.
( Is all he says, rather than arguing the point. There's no reason to. Let Jayce keep his optimism, he doesn't need Dean's negativity screwing that up.
Instead, he stands up and reaches out to curl a hand firmly on Jayce's shoulder. It's just that, just a soft appreciative squeeze, before it falls away. )