INTRO LOG #2

[abraxasmods]

Intro Log #2

It has been two months now since the initial group of summonings first took place. Castle Thorne, or at least the part above ground, is buzzing with a vibrant air of hope following the 'success' at the Singularity. Eager smiles and excited chattering are to be found in nearly every corner of the castle and surrounding town. The honored guests may find grateful looks turned their way more often than not. A new and brighter day seems to be dawning on the kingdom.

In the dungeons it's a different story entirely. The mood is somber and uneasy. The prisoner taken for trial has yet to return, and no word has come regarding her or her fate. There has been no mention of any further trials as of yet and guards seem to have little patience for unruly behavior or even conversation. Some seem to not even look at or acknowledge the prisoners at all.

[ Feel free to continue threads from the TDM here or start your own! As cell and room assignments will be short-lived due to this month's event, you're free to assume whichever cellmates and roommates you like instead of officially signing up as long as there are ICly no more than four people in a cell or room at once. ]

Comments

[wiedzminka]

[ At least Geralt had known who she was. Ciri assumes that Yennefer is from the same time as him, and this seems to confirm her suspicions. It'll be a while yet before they even lay eyes on each other for the first time.

Oh, how Ciri had resented her then. She'd been so annoyed, acted out, pushed cheekily against Yennefer's boundaries. And Yennefer had guided her with a sure and disciplined hand, stern and unyielding in her teachings. But her lap had been soft and warm, and her voice held a nearly-hidden tenderness when she'd called her. My little ugly one.

She swallows the lump in her throat. ]

It's Ciri.

[vixening]

[ yennefer has no concept of who she is, no. there isn't even the concept of geralt's child of surprise to possibly bring into her thoughts. she knows nothing of who ciri is, and why she would know yennefer. certainly no idea why she would look at yennefer with such depth of sadness in her eyes when she does.

for a moment, yennefer actually starts to feel a bit defensive - what right did this girl have to be upset with her for not yet having lived through whatever meeting, whatever lives, they apparently crossed? what did she mean to this ciri that it would allow for that sort of look? but rather than acting on that defensiveness, yennefer simply turns her eyes to her tunic, straightening where the fabric is horrendously wrinkled, as if she were wearing fine silk. ]

Tell me, then, Ciri. [ her tone is curious, light. she distances herself from the pain in the other's eyes and instead feels a bit like tissaia, back straight, unruffled by the rest of the room. ] How is it we meet? I don't suppose we cross paths at a tavern. [ there is something of a joke, somewhere in that comment, but yennefer does not wait to see if it lands. ] Were you studying at Aretuza?

[wiedzminka]

...hah. [ Ciri actually looks surprised. She blinks, and there's that look again, that flicker of a smile that doesn't have much joy in it at all. She shakes her heads, shrugs one shoulder. ]

No. Oh, you certainly wanted me to-- but no, I'm afraid not.

As for how we met... I...

[ I'm not sure anymore.

She's regretting getting the guards to put her in here, just a little. It hurts. She thought she'd been prepared for it, but it hurts even more than that. Still, knowing Yennefer was here and not being able to talk to her would have been worse. ...wouldn't it?

Fuck. She should have thought ahead. Never mind there hadn't been more than a few seconds, but now-- Now Ciri doesn't know what to say. Of course Yennefer would ask questions. How much should she answer them?

In all her travels, Ciri's never met people she should already have known. ]

In Ellander. The Temple of Melitele. I was a student there, and you were called to teach me how to harness chaos.

[ Again, Ciri hesitates. Again, that gnawing, sick feeling slinks through her whole body, settling like bricks in the pit of her gut.

Yennefer can't be here. Yennefer is needed elsewhere.

Ciri needs Yennefer elsewhere. ]

...I'm sorry.

You...

Perhaps you should ask Geralt.

[vixening]

[ you certainly wanted me to. it's an interesting idea, as yennefer considers it - the idea she would want to send anyone to aretuza. to tissaia. but it seems as though ciri did not go, despite yennefer's apparent interest in her studying, and the thought causes yennefer's brow to furrow once more.

ellander? what causes would yennefer have to be in temeria? though, she supposes she can't be too caught off-guard by the concept. if the temerian forces were, truly, on their way to aid in the battle against nilfgaard, her path may have led her there afterwards. except that the temple in ellander is nenneke's, if yennefer was remembering correctly. and if ciri were there, it's possible she was...what? recovering? learning to be a healer? yennefer's mind starts to spin for a moment of all the possible directions and paths that could have led them to know each other from the temple of melitele, but then before she can get too caught up in that race, she settles on chaos. on being called to teach this girl how to harness chaos.

it reminds her of the girls she met when she returned to aretuza. the way their eyes followed her, young, unblinking. but the eyes that ciri looks back at her with are much more. yennefer, curious, but also warming to the idea that she was called to be someone's teacher rather than anyone else, that she would have accepted the role, tilts her head a bit to the side. ]

What was your conduit moment?

[ because she is not the academy. she is not tissaia. she would not ever, no matter the circumstances, take on someone for teaching who did not actually have the gift.

yennefer is prepared to wait for the answer, too, no matter how long she might have to. no matter how difficult it might be. ciri hasn't shown any reluctance up until this point to speak on these matters, but of course it is as soon as yennefer thinks this that something changes. in her face, in her voice. ]

What? [ she does not ask for the apology, not the sudden shift in conversation. a chill runs down the back of yennefer's tunic, her whole body growing tense in a shadow of a moment. she'd just felt herself warming up to this idea, to this girl who looked at her in all the ways yennefer thinks she might want to be looked at like. to have someone turn to her. to need her, above all else. except that she, apparently, can not have that either. not separate, not away from him.

geralt, who is only a cell or so away. geralt, who she still doesn't know if he's listening, if he can hear this very conversation, but the thought of it her mouth pulls into a tight frown. ] What does he have to do with this?

[wiedzminka]

[ Ciri sees Yennefer's expression change, harden, at the mention of Geralt. It isn't what she expected, but she can't be too surprised; she knows they fight, and vaguely remembers they had disagreed when she was little, though she doesn't have a good grasp on the details, in the way small children understand their parents are arguing but can't fathom why.

Instead of trying to backtrack and figure out how to answer Yennefer's other question, for now Ciri meets her eyes steadily and answers the second.

What does Geralt have to do with this? ]

Everything.

[ But before Ciri can elaborate, she needs to be sure of something. ]

Please tell me what you remember of home before you were summoned here.

[vixening]

[ ciri does not answer her question - what was her conduit moment, what moment did she have that solidified her connection to chaos. part of yennefer wants to turn back to that conversation, to bring them both back to what yen could have almost felt was warmth. was something better than this.

but ciri says everything and the loss of whatever that had been goes up in smoke. and then, amid that feeling of loss, is yennefer's own voice, chiding, cruel. you should have known better. and maybe she should have. maybe it is, in many ways, her own fault. but then again, there is nothing to grieve if there had been nothing at all, and so yennefer pulls back. straightens her back, just as she'd learned in court, chin held just a bit higher. ]

What does Geralt have to do with this? [ she repeats, a different kind of weight to the question this time around. not necessarily because she's avoiding ciri's question, either, but the girl asks about home and what comes to mind is much more complicated than she's really in a place to want to discuss. the cold halls of aretuza? the court rooms of aedirn? the inside of a tent, on a mountainside? the girl probably doesn't mean to send yennefer down a path she doesn't want to be on by asking something that simple, but still, yennefer avoids the thought. keeps herself from thinking too hard about how, somehow, none of those feel quite right.

so she picks a politically correct answer, something that she can give to - if she plays the cards right - get ciri to answer her with what she needs. ]

Nilfgaard was mid-conquest on the continent. Cintra had fallen, and the rest of the north was soon to follow. We were to stop them at Sodden. [ what does she last remember? fire and death and the smell of blood and ash. she remembers an army in black. she remembers chaos, exploding out from her. yennefer can assume that the answer she gives isn't what ciri meant by her question, either, but it is the one she gives. ] Why?

[wiedzminka]

[ Contrary to what Yennefer thinks, that's exactly the answer Ciri was seeking. And, strangely, the girl looks... almost relieved.

Geralt and Yennefer, at least, are from the same time. That makes things easier for her to understand, if only by a little bit. She's in the wrong time, and they're in the wrong place. Maybe it's not as 'simple' as that, but framing it that way, Ciri can organize her thoughts. She doesn't have to contend with a Yennefer years or decades out of sync, as she'd suddenly feared.

Ciri nods, exhaling slowly with the motion. She takes a moment, shifting to sit up on her knees. For a while, probably long enough to annoy Yennefer, she is silent, considering her words carefully. The situation. What Yennefer may know, and what she clearly doesn't.

It occurs to her that Yennefer not only doesn't know who she is; she doesn't know who she used to be, either. Not with the little bit of information Ciri has given her. There's context to be given, but at least now Ciri knows Yennefer's own context for it in turn.

Finally, she looks up, pushing her loose hair out of her eyes and sitting tall to match Yennefer. ]

You asked me about my 'conduit moment.' I'll tell you.

[ Her voice is steady, but even though it was a long time ago for her, the words still weigh heavy with emotion. Her bright green eyes hold Yennefer's gaze with an unwavering intensity, watching the sorceress's every reaction. ]

As Nilfgaard massacred the people of Cintra and set fire to their homes, my grandmother, Queen Calanthe, told me to flee. They had breached the castle. And so, I ran. But my retinue was killed in short order, and I was captured by a Nilfgaardian soldier. He carried me away, and from his horse, I looked back and I watched Cintra burn.

And then, I screamed. And with that scream, a power burst from me that I could not control. It freed me.

I fled into the forest.

Geralt found me there.

[ ... ]

Or... he should have. But instead, he's in this dungeon. And so are you.

[vixening]

[ the relief that spreads across ciri's face does not fit what yennefer expects to find, and it leaves her feeling a bit unbalanced. though, she supposes it shouldn't. the events transpiring around her, back home, are that of history books. news that would be spread across the land. ciri would have heard of it, and yennefer is sure the familiarity of it is comforting, but -

well, ciri doesn't exactly continue, so there is plenty of time for yennefer to regain her footing, for her to become uncomfortable with the silence. she just nearly says as much, wanting to urge the girl to begin with something, as yennefer had answered the question and expects answers in return, but there is something about how she is sitting there that convinces yennefer to wait for just a moment longer. well, speak up, girl. sits in her throat, and it is actually the exact moment that yennefer opens her mouth to free the words that ciri finally looks up. finally speaks.

you asked me about my 'conduit moment.' i'll tell you.

there's a voice in yennefer that wants to cut her off, because the reasons she'd asked that initial question felt so far away, now that she knew there was so much more to what this story became. with geralt involved, yennefer felt her priorities shift focus. except that when ciri brings it back up, yennefer finds that actually - no. she does want to know what possible show of chaos could convince her to bring on a student of any kind, especially one...what? that had been brought to her from geralt? that geralt found and dumped on her doorstep? the possibilities flickered through yennefer's find in the moments following the questions, one such possibility briefly bringing into focus geralt's child of surprise, but she pushes that away as quickly as ciri begins that next step in her story.

yennefer's eyes do widen slightly at the mention of queen calanthe, at the fall of cintra. the castle, the retinue, the reason as to why ciri was able to place where yennefer had been. ]

Princess Cirilla. You survived.

[ the fall of cintra had been nearly two weeks prior, fourteen days with which they were able to come to terms with the fact the lioness had fallen. cintra was no more, and without their army, the ongoing press of nilfgaard was a threat none of them had been prepared to take on. they had done what they could, at sodden. but even so, she had watched so many of her sisters fall, watched that army push through every plan they had made. even now, she can't be certain of what she even did, to stop the waves of bodies that had been descending on her. and had, up until just a few moments prior, hadn't been sure she survived.

now, with the information that she had, and that more than just surviving, she had gone on to train calanthe's heir - well, it just nearly made her laugh, knowing cintra's feelings towards mages at their court. imagining geralt, with a princess. and with a conduit moment that powerful...

there is a part of her that wants to keep asking questions, to keep pushing ciri to explain to her what happened, what lies ahead of all of them, now. but if yennefer is being honest, she can actually guess - or thinks she can guess - how the events had played out. geralt had been at cintra, so he had told her, which meant that as he was leaving he'd run into the girl. he'd fund her, scared and dirty and probably barely alive, in those woods, and had brought her along with him, either dropping her off at some other town or with one of his many contacts along his way to sodden. she's not sure if every step of that is correct, but she can see it play out. can see how the pieces were put together. he leaves the girl at the temple and then...what?

a thought comes to her - then. that when she'd spoken to geralt earlier, he'd made no mention of a princess. that when he'd told her that he'd seen the smoke at sodden, princess cirilla was already in his care. of course he wouldn't mention her. of course he would leave that out. yennefer, exhaling once to remove herself of that bit of anger, looks back to ciri. curious. weighing her next question. ]

How long has it been, since Cintra fell? [ and then she follows it with a second questions, not long after. ] And how long have you known me?

[wiedzminka]

For me, it has been roughly a decade.

[ Yennefer already knows their timelines are out of sync; it's obvious that Ciri is much older than Princess Cirilla should have been, even if Yennefer is only cursorily familiar with the Cintran court.

The second question makes Ciri smile faintly, that same sad, tired look in her eyes. ]

I've known you only a handful of minutes. And many years.

[ It's not the answer Yennefer is looking for, and Ciri knows it. What she doesn't know is how to handle a situation like this in a way that will both allow her to stay close to the family she loves and not risk her future... when she's able to return Geralt and Yennefer where (and when) they belong. Because Ciri is determined to figure it out, no matter that she's never willingly been able to manipulate time before.

In her mind, there is only one Geralt, only one Yennefer, and they are needed in very specific times and places in order for her to be here too. There are many questions in her mind, but she has no answers for them and no one to ask. The one thing she is certain of is her memories. And the distinct conviction gripping her with an urgency she can't ignore that they all need to go back where they belong, to all do what they must. ]

Yennefer... [ Ciri's voice is gentler this time, pleading. ]

My past is not your future as long as we are here. Please understand.

[vixening]

[ a decade. yennefer considers this for a moment after ciri explains - a decade has passed. a decade since sodden. in the grand scheme of things, she knows that a decade isn't much at all, and yet faced with the concept that it has passed, somewhere, and that along the way she's come to know princess cirilla of cintra to teach her to harness her chaos. this is what happens, she does not believe ciri is lying to her, but even so yennefer fights herself to accept it. to find footing amongst it. she will not act the fool who refuses to accept the truth of what is before them. she will not let herself be comfortable with it's not possible. because it obviously is. all of this is.

so yennefer takes another breath, watching ciri's small, sad smile back to her. it feels...not strange, necessarily, but misplaced. like ciri is looking to her and expecting to find something that isn't there. but then again - yennefer is used to that. to having others look to her, expecting one thing, and instead finding another. she finds she doesn't mind, at the moment, the way in which ciri looks at her. at least not yet. ]

I'd ask to see what you've learned over these years we've known each other, but. [ she gestures around them, the frustration apparent in her tone. because where ciri's worry and concern about next steps involve them all returning to their time, yennefer's attention is on her magic. her chaos. how to get it back. the rest will fall into place, after. she's sure of it.

but even still, yennefer's expression stills at the pleading look that ciri gives her. the desperation evident in her eyes. yennefer barely knows this girl, and still she feels something in her chest tighten. feels the need to fix it. yennefer lets her hand settle back on her laugh, her mouth pressing into a thin line for just a moment. ]

The Singularity here - it's powerful enough to rip us from our paths, with no regard for when, or where it found us. [ she glances to ciri to make sure she's following, though yennefer isn't sure how much of this ciri already knows. if she's spoken to geralt, how much he has relayed. she continues on all the same. ] That same power can take us back to those places and those times, as long as we learn to wield it. It's the same with chaos- with enough practice you can bend it to fit your means. We will do the same, here, once we get free of these dungeons. [ geralt can choose to rot in this prison for however long he wants. yennefer is leaving, and - with a sudden determination that nearly surprises her - ciri is coming with her. ]

[wiedzminka]

[ Something about Ciri's expression changes, but it's... difficult to place. She listens to Yennefer, so determined to understand this Singularity and harness its power, and knows the sorceress is already convinced she can. Or maybe she's simply that determined that she can. That she must.

...with enough practice you can bend it to fit your means.

But that, precisely, is what Ciri is most worried about.

She takes a deep breath, and finally unfolds herself from the floor, pushing up to her feet. ]

I know of the Singularity. Geralt explained it to me.

[ She dusts off her ugly, scratchy trousers (for whatever that's worth; they're dirty enough as-is), straightens the hem of her shirt, and approaches Yennefer to sit beside her on the bed. ]

There's something else you should know.

[ And that no one else should. Ciri leans in closer, scooting in to sit thigh to thigh with Yennefer, propping herself up with one arm behind the sorceress, pressing close to speak into her ear.

Her scent -- even muted by the dankness of their prison, the lack of magic, the roughness of their situation -- is still familiar. Even after all these years. It brings back memories so suddenly it feels like someone punched her in the chest.

Her voice feels strained, but the whisper hides it well enough. ]

I can do what it does. I can get us out of here. But first, I need my powers back.

[vixening]

[ yennefer knows ciri had spoken to geralt. she knows that because of that meeting, ciri is most likely up to date with what yennefer herself knows as well. and yet even now she still tenses at the mention of it - geralt explained it to me. it's some sort of irony that geralt is the one who knows the most about the singularity, that he is the expert on a source of magic so powerful that they've been ripped from their own paths here to help harness it.

there is an entirely other issue, in there, that yennefer doesn't have the energy to follow through with at this moment. especially not when ciri moves to stand, when she mentions something else. yennefer's brow furrows as ciri moves towards her on the bed, settles in to sit next to her, close. there is barely a hint of tension that runs through yennefer, if only because she had not been expecting the girl to come sit right against her, for her arm to be settled before, all but caging yennefer in. she doesn't react much beyond that, though, not finding the proximity to be threatening in any way.

ciri's voice is low, when she finally whispers, and that is when yennefer's entire body goes still. i can do what it does. yennefer's eyes shoot to ciri where she's still so close, darting off down the hall briefly as if to make sure no one else is there, before looking back to her. her mind is suddenly spinning, running down the list of things that she has already been able to surmise the singularity can do, and then trying to imagine that inside the girl next to her. the girl who is close enough that yennefer can make out just how dirty she is. just how young. she leans away from ciri just far enough that she can find her eyes, checking first to see if - though it out be entirely misplaced - this is some kind of joke. then, when she's confident enough with that answer, to try and wrap her head around a girl holding that much power within her. ]

How? [ and then, immediately after. ] Do they know? [ she means thorne, ambrose specifically, and when she speaks her own voice is level but quiet. hushed but tense. ]

[wiedzminka]

[ Ciri feels Yennefer tense, and automatically responds in kind, though it's subtle; her shoulders tighten, her fingertips press into the bed behind Yennefer. She exhales slowly, holding still while Yennefer processes this information, pulls back to look at her. Ciri meets her gaze steadily, deadly serious. It's no joke, no mistake. Whatever she means by it, she does mean it and very clearly believes it herself.

At Yennefer's questions, Ciri only subtly shakes her head. ]

No. I do not think they do.

And they must not find out.

[ As for the how... well, that will take much longer to explain. For the moment, the most important thing is that Yennefer knows this information needs to be held in utmost secrecy. ]

You and Geralt are the only ones who know of this.

[vixening]

[ yennefer must know how it’s possible, the curiosity and need for the information burns inside her chest. but ciri looks at her with a kind of grave seriousness that - for a brief moment - yennefer sees geralt in her. can understand, as much as she might back against it, where that similarity lies.

part of her wonders if this is possible. not that ciri has some sort of unimaginable power within her, yennefer believes that solely based on the expression ciri wears, but she means the rest of it. the concept that this girl holds a power that could take them back. that could right ambrose’s wrongs. yennefer wants to pick it apart, to pull any and all information from ciri as quickly as she can, but a noise from down the hall catches yennefer’s attention and her eyes dart off to follow for the briefest moment before turning back.

yennefer understands the gravity of this. knows, almost too well, what men in power will do with access to more of it, no matter what stands in their way. she will not let that happen to ciri. she will not. ]

This stays between us, then.

[ they are close, still with thighs pressed to each other, and as yennefer watches ciri she is overwhelmed with the urge to reach out for her. to tuck some of the hair that has fallen in her face behind her ear. the urge is filled with a king of fondness that yennefer does not recognize, and so while there may be a flicker of it across her face, she does not act on it.

instead, yennefer holds ciri’s eyes, her expression stern. serious. matching the tone ciri has shared with her. ]

We will get our magic back. And then we will figure out the rest. [ there is something strange in all of this, yennefer thinks. in how she can look at this girl and see so much more. she wants to ask so much more, wants to understand how, when, why. but she knows this isn’t the place. and she is not going to out ciri in danger for the sake of her own understanding. no matter what her relationship to this girl turns out to be.

be it her own exhaustion, the weight of all of the information ciri just shared, or something that had been in the way ciri looked at her - yennefer does feel her hand move, settling over ciri’s on the mattress. squeezing, once. (for whatever reason, it reminds her of tissaia. of sharing a drink.) ]

If I’ve taught you anything, I know you can do it yourself, [ yennefer can’t imagine a world where that wouldn’t be her first lesson. ] But I won’t let anything happen to you.

[wiedzminka]

[ It's a relief that Yennefer understands without prompting what Ciri is asking of her, to keep this secret and help her stay out of Thorne's eyes. Of course she would, but-- Yennefer doesn't really know her, does she? What Ciri is saying is so beyond the bounds of normal understanding, even for a sorceress. She knows Yennefer surely has countless questions.

And she is relieved, also, that the enchantress chooses not to barrage Ciri with them right away. Instead--

The hand upon hers is unexpected. Ciri is startled by its warmth at first, looking down, but welcomes it immediately and turns her fingers over to squeeze Yennefer's in turn, lacing them together between them. It's that, and the confidence in Yennefer's voice when she suddenly promises to protect her, that finally makes the tears well up, stinging Ciri's eyes and scrunching her brow.

Ciri looks up like she's scared to believe Yennefer is still there, still holding her hand. ]

Yennefer...

[ Her voice cracks, thin and trembling. ]

[vixening]

[ yennefer will have time for her questions, later. no matter where they go or what happens, she knows that much. but the gravity in ciri and if what she's said is true, yennefer is not going to chance either of their safety just for the sake of knowing what it could mean, here. she'd always been willing to risk what she's needed to for her own search of knowledge, but now that it's not just her, now that that risk would include ciri too, yennefer doesn't find it in her just yet.

yennefer's eyes fall to their hands when ciri turns hers over, when she squeezes back. of the moment of warmth that comes with it. the concept of time being this far compacted, that before her is princess cirilla of cintra, that a decade has passed since sodden, are all thoughts that pass through her in that moment. heavy rocks that pass through the water, falling and settling at the bottom. yennefer wants to reach down and pick them back up, threads of questions, of what magics could have allowed it, how it is that she's come to be so wrapped up in something this complex, and how she's found herself here with geralt of rivia, jaskier (who is still off here, somewhere), and now this girl.

when she looks up, she sees the tears start to well in ciri's eyes, hears the tremble in her voice. it tightens violently in her chest, but yennefer doesn't so much as flinch. ]

Come now. There's no use for those. [ but even still, her voice lacks the same sharp edge yennefer had been so used to hearing. perhaps there's a reason she never took ciri to aretuza. perhaps yennefer wasn't cut out to be quite as harsh. instead, she reaches up with her free hand, using the pad of her thumb to wipe away at the tears that haven't yet fallen. ] Access to our magic or no, we are still sorceresses.

[wiedzminka]

[ Yennefer's hand is cool and soft, gentle in counterpoint to her words. It's a familiar contradiction Ciri finds comforting, knowing Yennefer isn't really scolding her.

She inclines her head, closing her eyes a moment longer than a blink while Yennefer thumbs away the tears that scatter from her lashes. She presses her cheek into the curve of Yennefer's palm, breathing out a silent sigh, and letting herself forget for just a few seconds that things are as complicated and frightening and confusing as they are.

But the moment is gone too quickly. Yennefer's next words, meant to be reassuring, land like someone has just pricked her with a pin. Ciri tenses, opening her eyes and drawing away from Yennefer's hand on her face (though not releasing her fingers, tight in the other one). Meeting her violet gaze only briefly before glancing sheepishly away, Ciri searches for the words with which to correct Yennefer's mistaken assumption. Considering what little she's been able to explain to Yennefer so far, Ciri understands how she reached this conclusion and is suddenly embarrassed.

It makes sense. Unfortunately, Yennefer will learn that nothing about her makes sense. ]

You're right. Tears won't get us out of here.

Regardless... [ Ciri shakes her head. ] I am no sorceress.

[vixening]

[ yennefer feels something oddly familiar about the sensation, of her palm on ciri's cheek, of ciri's tilt into her hand. oddly so, in the fact that yennefer can't really bring to mind a moment where she would know what this felt like. because the way ciri tilts her face into yennefer's palm is not something she could imagine - not this way. that fact runs a bit cold through her, a mix of unfamiliar territory and something else. something she isn't able to explain.

the moment, of course, passes quickly. because of course there is something else that yennefer says, something she doesn't know, and ciri tenses and pulls away that almost - just in those movements - tells yennefer all she needs to know. ciri glances to her, then looks away, searching for words that are already not all that surprising.

there is a part of yennefer that considers feeling defensive, that considers tension and annoyance. that consideration moves somewhere under her skin, even as she chooses a different route, instead very simply setting her hand back in her chest. taking a breath, and then exhaling. making an effort to not let herself once again feel left behind. i am no sorceress.

yennefer is silent, for that following moment. watching ciri's face. waiting for her to continue, and then when she doesn't, yennefer's lips draw into a line. she has taken this girl in to learn about her chaos, magic that is beyond something even yennefer can comprehend at that moment, but she does not go to aretuza. and is not, apparently, a sorceress. ]

No? [ a beat, while yennefer stills, despite the way she almost wants to scream, looking at the girl. how much is she out of touch? how much of this does geralt know? how far behind is she? a part of yennefer knows the answer to her question, even before the words leave her. and when those words do finally leave her, yennefer can sense something of an edge to them. an edge she doesn't necessarily mean to put on ciri, but that she can't quite remove, either. ] What are you, then, Cirilla?

[wiedzminka]

What am I? [ Ciri snaps back in response to the edge she can hear in Yennefer's voice, suddenly defensive-- averting her eyes before she can stop herself. ] I'm Ciri.

[ Why is she ashamed? She'd never really wanted to be a sorceress in the first place, and then of course everything had gone to hell, and Yennefer--

Yennefer doesn't know any of it. Yennefer looks at her with confusion, wariness, and yet a sort of veiled hope that makes Ciri's chest ache. Ciri hadn't meant to build up those expectations. She doesn't mean to feel like she's letting Yennefer down now. She doesn't want to hear that coldness creeping into the edges of Yennefer's tone when just a moment ago she'd been so warm.

It's all so damn fucking complicated. Yennefer feels so far away. Ciri has been missing her for years, and now they sit next to each other, close enough to touch, and she still feels alone. ]

Just Ciri. [ She repeats, more firmly. Geralt had called her Cirilla too. It sounds so foreign in her mind. Reaffirming the distance between them, reminding her that she's a stranger. ] That's all.

[ Agitated, Ciri pulls away, rising to her feet to pace across the tiny cell and back. She keeps her voice low, trying to keep it from carrying, but it's a strained sort of quiet, frustrated and angry and hurt. ]

I was taught to be a princess, but I'm not. I'm not a sorceress. Don't want to be. I trained to be a Witcher -- that's what I wanted -- but I can't be, not really. Isn't that right?

Everyone wants me to be something, or tells me what I can't be. There are plans and prophecies and bullshit. No matter where I go. No matter what I try to do.

[ Finally, she stops, turning suddenly on her heel to face Yennefer with fists clenched at her sides, angry-hot tears in her eyes, flushed and breathing hard. ]

What does it matter to you if I'm a sorceress or not?

I'm Ciri, and you don't even know my name.

[vixening]

[ it's the defensiveness that yennefer catches onto first, the way ciri jerks away from her, snapping back at the edge that yen hadn't, really, meant to break through. but even if she hadn't meant it to, it wasn't as if it wasn't there - yennefer, feeling like she's playing catch up to a time, to a person, hasn't even met. she had meant the question in the way of who, of where she finds herself, of what it means when a princess is no longer a princess, that she's learning to control chaos, but isn't a sorceress, but is obviously someone. someone who can hold herself like ciri does, someone who can gain a scar like she carries and keep her head held high.

yennefer's question hadn't meant to spark so much response, but in the same breath, she's not surprised by it.

just ciri she repeats, and yennefer watches, feeling her own defensiveness roil. feeling something akin to anger, to frustration, mirroring the way ciri rises to her feet. there's a kind of kinship, in that moment, if she wants to draw that connection. but still, yennefer isn't certain she does. so instead she watches ciri pace, watches her quietly try to work through what it is she's feeling. and honestly, yennefer can see it - where ciri is coming from. what bothers her. the more that ciri shares, the more yennefer tries to follow, catching onto certain phrases a bit more readily than others. trained to be a witcher, she says, and yennefer feels that defensiveness rise again. doesn't want to be a sorceress. yennefer's brow furrows at the mention of a prophecy, a thought she will have to come back to, a mention that might mean something later.

for now, yennefer simply watches ciri boil over with her emotions, pace around the cell and hiss about what everyone else wants from her. and when ciri finally does come to a stop and turn to her with clenched fists and angry tears, yennefer is waiting for those green eyes to be back on her. prepared, for the emotion spilling over. ]

It doesn't matter to me, if you are a sorceress or not. [ it is said simply, and whether or not it's the truth, yennefer says it plainly. casually. like she could mean it, at some point. in some future version. after another breath of a moment, yennefer pushes herself to stand, wincing at the pain that shoots through her, one hand pressing tight to the wound that she is certain is bleeding through whatever bandaging they had done when she first arrives. it doesn't matter, though, because yennefer closes the distance, walking slowly to stand in front of ciri. ]

And you are right. I did not know your name until you gave it to me. I did not know you even existed, until you came down that hallway. Whatever path I take that leads me to you, I have not yet started on. [ she will not apologize for making wrong assumptions, just as she will not jump to dry ciri's tears this time around. she has been piecing together fragments of who this ciri is based on a limited set of interactions, and yennefer can see her faults in that way of thinking.

so she comes to a stop a foot or so from ciri, her eyes searching the girl's face. curious, interested, and invested. she is not sure what ciri is looking for, if she looks back, but she can't get swept up by those possibilities. ]

But let me make one thing very clear. [ her voice has an urgency to it, when she speaks next. ] I am never going to decide for you what you can, or can't, be. That is your choice, and should always remain so. [ yennfer's eye follows the scar across ciri's face before they shift to her eyes once more. the intensity remains even still, but there is something else tucked within it. something almost soft. ]

You will have to explain the rest to me, at least until we can open up your connection to your abilities and return home.

[wiedzminka]

[ Ciri doesn't move, watching Yennefer approach; there's nowhere to go, anyway. Some part of her wants to run and hide, climb up to the top bunk and pull the covers over her head to buy time just to think-- but she can't. She knows she can't. And she knows it will not help.

She'd brooded enough over Geralt. She knew what she was coming into when she'd chosen to try to speak with Yennefer.

It isn't their fault. ]

...I understand. [ Slowly, Ciri nods, taking a deep breath and letting it out quietly to force the tension out of her shoulders and loosen the fists at her side. She does not apologize for her outburst. ]

Thank you.

[ And just like that, the anger seems to drain out of her, leaving a tired, dirty girl with messy blond-grey hair and the weight of the last few days (and weeks, and years) on her narrow shoulders. ]

Give me a little time. I will explain. As much as I can. Tomorrow.

[ No more questions for tonight. Maybe that's unfair, but right now-- she simply can't.

Ciri's eyes fall to the way Yennefer's hand braces her side instead, brows furrowing. ]

What's wrong?