WHO: Alucard + [open] WHAT: Enjoying some new office space, exploring Oleuni Square, and more WHERE: Cadens, Oleuni Square, the desert, and more! WHEN: Throughout December WARNINGS: Potential for violence in the hunting grounds
[He's not bothered by the inquiry, though it doesn't occur to him to think Alucard might tread lightly because of family. Altaïr misses Masyaf because it's home, because he left so much uncertainty behind, but he'd killed the closest person to family he had left.]
That would be a very long story.
[And one he wouldn't want to go fully into. But...]
The leader of my people died hours before I was brought here. Already there was a great deal of unrest. It was an uncertain and dangerous time.
I think that these nations have a tendency to draw in those with long stories exclusively.
[It is both a joke and a gentle acknowledgement that the dhampir does not intend to ask for any more than his companion is willing to give. The circumstances of home should, in his experience, always come up organically.]
Having come from a country in similar circumstances, I can only imagine what it is like when the loss is that close and personal.
[The suggestion isn't meant to bring comfort. Instead, it is an honest consideration of magic.] Perhaps you'll return and no time will have passed at all. And for the effort, you have more time and experience. Or at least, I think that's the optimistic version of the situation.
Not at all. The only thing that makes me think it possible is that for the brief amount of time that I had others from my own time and place here, none of our precise points crossed. I learned wholly new information from both of them.
[But there could be endless reasons for that.]
Apologies, I'm sure idle speculation does not help your concerns.
It may not, but it seems as though we can't help doing so in the absence of certainty.
[Altaïr waves him off, not bothered by the natural tendency to wonder what-if. Despite his own words and even though he's set his mind to other things rather than torment himself with questions he won't be able to answer, it's impossible to fully avoid considering what the truth is.]
The others you spoke of — did they come from your future and notice no disappearance?
One element, yes, but that was a very personal one. [He and Sypha had recovered their friendship after the dhampir admitted to his newfound trust issues. They were nearly romantic partners, and it might have become serious save for Sypha's disappearance.
So it went.]
The rest was family, and that will never be fully resolved. But the person involved with that seemed better than he was when he allied with my father.
[The past tense tells him nearly as much as Alucard does.]
Do you regret it at all?
[This is definitely pushing too far. So much for not pushing into personal elements. But in just a few short words, the other man has unexpectedly touched on a raw, familiar nerve.]
Of course. [The response is without hesitation.] Just as I hate that the circumstances asked me to choose between their respective wishes, which were at direct odds with one another. And that his expression of devotion was annihilation.
Moreover, what isn't said is appreciated. Like all the people Alucard has come to like most in Abraxas, he doesn't need to explain. The lines are clear, and there is no demand for details.]
[Alucard leans back a little, propping himself up with his forearms.]
If the violence my father chose was localized and limited, I'd have been able to step aside. I might have even helped with the priest who set the whole thing into motion. But that was not happened, and to murder a country for one death was wrong. And not what my mother would have wanted. So things were unavoidable.
You could have let the people burn to preserve your own life, just as I could have stepped aside and allowed my master to take control of men's minds for the 'greater good.'
[He shifts a little in place, restlessness, as if he wants to move but has nowhere to go. A part of him is far away, in a different time and place.]
Only I expect it would have cost us both our souls. Either way, I won't shrug off the blame, or the credit if it came to that.
I'm not sure about the matter of souls. I'd more say we were raised with
particular understandings of justice and morals, born of those around us
and any personal matters of faith. [Alucard's not sure on that
front, but he knows his own family's relationship with religion is uh.
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[Admittedly, the mountains of Masyaf are likely not quite so cold.]
I find myself torn at times. There's much that would call me home, if it could, but there's been much to learn here.
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[The question has a note of genuine curiosity, but Alucard won't pry about that. Family is the are that he treads about the most lightly.]
Mm. May I ask what responsibilities you must put on hold while here?
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That would be a very long story.
[And one he wouldn't want to go fully into. But...]
The leader of my people died hours before I was brought here. Already there was a great deal of unrest. It was an uncertain and dangerous time.
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[It is both a joke and a gentle acknowledgement that the dhampir does not intend to ask for any more than his companion is willing to give. The circumstances of home should, in his experience, always come up organically.]
Having come from a country in similar circumstances, I can only imagine what it is like when the loss is that close and personal.
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It was a necessary thing. That doesn't make what comes next any simpler. I don't like to think about what I'm missing.
[To be cut off so thoroughly chafes at him constantly. It's one of several reasons he tries to fill his hours here and avoid any kind of idleness.]
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[The suggestion isn't meant to bring comfort. Instead, it is an honest consideration of magic.] Perhaps you'll return and no time will have passed at all. And for the effort, you have more time and experience. Or at least, I think that's the optimistic version of the situation.
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[Older, wiser, more capable but having lost nothing while taking the time to become so? It's too good to be true.]
Which is why I can't trust that it's a possibility.
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[But there could be endless reasons for that.]
Apologies, I'm sure idle speculation does not help your concerns.
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[Altaïr waves him off, not bothered by the natural tendency to wonder what-if. Despite his own words and even though he's set his mind to other things rather than torment himself with questions he won't be able to answer, it's impossible to fully avoid considering what the truth is.]
The others you spoke of — did they come from your future and notice no disappearance?
[That is interesting.]
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We came from similar points, but not the same one, but after a shared major experience. That matter was the source of some tensions, admittedly.
[Which is a very polite understatement of the total fall out of murdering my dad.]
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That sounds inconvenient as well as disorienting.
[Yes, he realizes that's probably an understatement.]
Have you resolved them?
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So it went.]
The rest was family, and that will never be fully resolved. But the person involved with that seemed better than he was when he allied with my father.
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There's disharmony in your family, I take it.
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My mother was murdered. My father and I differed in how to handle those responsible. The disagreement ultimately ended him as well.
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Do you regret it at all?
[This is definitely pushing too far. So much for not pushing into personal elements. But in just a few short words, the other man has unexpectedly touched on a raw, familiar nerve.]
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[As if he should know.]
My condolences.
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[Not that Alucard's any better.
Moreover, what isn't said is appreciated. Like all the people Alucard has come to like most in Abraxas, he doesn't need to explain. The lines are clear, and there is no demand for details.]
Thank you. I hope your situation doesn't compare.
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Altaïr is silent a moment, considering his words.]
The man I killed wasn't my father by blood. But he was close enough, I suppose, and it was just as necessary.
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I am sorry that your circumstances forced you into that position.
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[As if it were an act of God. Powerful forces maneuvering him into position until he had no choice but to plunge his blade into his Master's chest.]
It was his choice that set us in opposition. And mine to do what I felt I had to do.
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[Alucard leans back a little, propping himself up with his forearms.]
If the violence my father chose was localized and limited, I'd have been able to step aside. I might have even helped with the priest who set the whole thing into motion. But that was not happened, and to murder a country for one death was wrong. And not what my mother would have wanted. So things were unavoidable.
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[He shifts a little in place, restlessness, as if he wants to move but has nowhere to go. A part of him is far away, in a different time and place.]
Only I expect it would have cost us both our souls. Either way, I won't shrug off the blame, or the credit if it came to that.
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I'm not sure about the matter of souls. I'd more say we were raised with particular understandings of justice and morals, born of those around us and any personal matters of faith. [Alucard's not sure on that front, but he knows his own family's relationship with religion is uh.
Different.]
None of it changes the regret though
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Not in the literal sense.
[He isn't at all sure he believes exist.]
No. It doesn't. We'll have to live with that.
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