[ open ] We've come this far with beating hearts

[princessvegas]

Who: Julie + open
When: throughout December
Where: Cadens, Horizon
What: Dec catch-all
Warnings: in subjects where needed

[ bitchcraft or bitchcraft#2753 for a starter ]

Comments

Cadens | OTA

[princessvegas]

[ The problem with using holidays as an excuse to compartmentalize trauma is that you get a pretty limited amount of days to use, especially when you live in a world that doesn't celebrate the same holidays you've spent your whole life knowing.

Nor, apparently, does Cadens celebrate the Dimming, as Julie discovers with surprise. Last year, she had been in Nott, where the holiday was about the dark and human kindness, not outward shows of cheer. But here, in Cadens, she is met instead with what they call the Enlightenment, and as thousands of lights begin to decorate the city, she decides that, actually, some of the things she's used to might not be so unwelcome after all.

Which is why, if you happen to pass by Salves & Stitches at any given time, you might notice that the decorations are bit more distinctly Christmas than the surrounding shops. Oh sure, there's plenty of lights, but they appear more like icicles and stars than lanterns. The colors twinkle off glass baubles that threaten to overwhelm the plants in the front room and outside the door.

And that's to say nothing of the full-blown Christmas tree she's got in the front window, although she will swear up and down that it's an "Enlightenment fir". Where she got a fir tree in the middle of the desert is a mystery she won't shed light on.

(Magic. It was magic. It's not hard to conjure a plain balsam fir, she's learned. It's conjuring it with all the ornaments and candy canes and extras that makes it complicated.)

Particularly in the beginning of the month, she can be found on sidewalk outside, holding a large basket of multicolored glass balls, along with various other random shapes. Most don't exactly appear to vibe with the Enlightenment so much as representing things she remembers from home, but the sheer number of them she's got covers up what may not fit in. Every few moments, one of the ornaments will seemingly levitate from the basket and hang itself in a spot outside of Julie's reach -- this is just her invisible hand reaching where she can't. A pair of white moth kits, one with black rings around its eyes, flutter around on leashes that are tied to her belt. Both are wearing large red bows.

When she's decorating, everyone who walks in gets presented with a peppermint stick. It will be shoved into your hands no matter how hard you protest. ]

[nadine_he_loves]

Julie, this looks amazing!

[Nadine has stepped out from the clinic for a little break, still wearing her unofficial 'uniform' of black skirts and black waistcoat over a white blouse. While Julie's been decorating, she's been working on her medicines. There are multiple glass decanters of herbs distilling inside and her hands are starting to cramp. And she has the excuse of wanting to see how the decorating's coming out. Once again, the other woman has outdone herself.

Christmas was, in some ways, complicated for Nadine. A bit less so here, in a world where she's not constantly reminded of a faith she's not sure where she fits in with anymore, but it still can stir up feelings. This year she's trying to focus on the other aspects - family, friends, togetherness. Everything the Snoopy song sang about. The idea of decorating for the local holiday with a decidedly 'old world' twist had sounded like a perfect idea. She'd never really had the energy or inclination to do much decorating back in New Hampshire, just a few simple things and a little tree with thrift store ornaments.

And the clinic's front has a lot more space than their apartment.]

This is better than the public displays in Barnstead.

[princessvegas]

[ When Nadine steps out, Pianko immediately swoops over to her, tugging on Julie’s waist. There’s a second where she totters, then regains her balance and rolls her eyes. She hangs the basket of ornaments on one arm, which she crosses over her chest as she steps back. Closer to Nadine, so she stops getting yanked at. ]

Yeah? I mean, I guess when money ain’t exactly an issue, it’s pretty simple to make it look good.

[ It’s an understatement, although she’s not actually fishing. This is also a lot of actual work, of design, but Julie is someone who grew up entirely surrounded by poverty, and as much as she wanted out, she still thinks of it as cheating to not be working on a shoestring budget. Like everything else is invalidated just because it could have been harder. She’s not aware enough to actually see the toxic mindset that went along with that small world, though. All she sees is a task she wishes she could undo, just so she could do it all over again.

She’s running out of things to decorate rather than deal with her constant, crushing anxiety about being abandoned or worse. ]

I’m happy with it, though. I just wish there was more to do. Maybe I can do Sam’s tree. D’you think Mag would let me do the tavern? I don’t want her to think I’m tryin’ to push Christmas though.

[ So clearly she’s doing just fine. ]

[nadine_he_loves]

More than money went into this.

[Nadine reaches to scratch Pianko between the ears and reaches to take his lead to spare Julie having to deal with being tugged about or held in place.]

And you could probably make a convincing case that Christmas is important to a lot of us Summoned at the inn. But don't burn yourself out, you've already done a lot.

[Which she understands. She's also one who throws herself into keeping busy to deal with all sorts of things. And god knows Julie has a lot to deal with right now. She'd been through something awful, the sort of thing that lingers. Still. If she keeps up at this pace, she's going to find herself in the clinic as a patient.]

We should take a day and indulge in one of the other time honored winter holiday traditions. Gift shopping. I need to really put some effort in this year.

[princessvegas]

How can you burn out on somethin' that's only around for a few weeks? It'll be over soon enough, I'm fine.

[ It's completely dismissive. She doesn't really feel like she's working herself into a frenzy; she genuinely believes she's fine. Then again, Julie's bar for what is a "fine" emotional state is basically a question of whether or not she can get out of bed, so. Grain of salt.

She tilts her hip slightly to allow Nadine to unclip the lead. ]

Anyway, I already bought most of mine. I had to commission some of 'em, or make 'em myself. I'll go with you though. Did you have anywhere in mind?

[nadine_he_loves]

By doing way too much in just a few weeks. I don't mean burn out on the holiday, I mean it physically.

[Julie is young, and magically speaking she's powerful, but a person only has so much energy. Nadine can't help but worry a little bit.]

Make sure you're getting time to rest and stuff.

[Maybe, if it seems like Julie really is doing too much, she can talk her into a quiet night in. Or two. They could bake cookies or something low-key like that. And drink wine.]

But thanks, I...have no idea where to go, I don't even know what I'm getting anyone yet. I think I get too much in my head about it. Something practical or sentimental? Something useful or something that they'd never buy themselves but would probably like...

[princessvegas]

[ She can only scoff a little. Julie is from farm country, where there's no such thing as "too much" work. You do the work because it needs to get done, and your health comes last. In this particular case, the work is just keeping her mind empty. If it ruins her to do so, she doesn't mind. She can't sit with the things that live in her head. Everything she's seen and lived through, not just these past few months but the past few years.

It's all one big knot that she cannot bring herself to untangle any of. ]

I think the key is to not think that hard about it. Don't let yourself get hung up on those details. All that matters is that you think the other person will like it. It's like, when you get a present, you don't think about how hard the other person worked. It's that they thought of you at all, right? That's why it sucks so much when you get a gift that you can tell the other person didn't even have you in mind when they bought, that it's just some thing they're givin' you. But if you can tell they have a reason for the thing, that ties it to you, then it don't really matter that it's nothin' you want or need. You just feel good they thought about you.

Horizon | OTA

[princessvegas]

[ Julie, who was never much of a Christmas person back home, is now apparently making an annual tradition of sinking herself into decorating her domain. A space in which she could change every aspect with a single thought. But something about it feels much more real, more satisfying, when it's done by hand. And it lets her be mindless. That's all she wants.

Several people will be relieved, however, that she is using magic this year, rather than climbing a twenty-foot ladder to hang to ceiling decorations.

The best word to describe her preferred style of decoration would be maximalist. Even without entering her loft, there are easily three dozen trees placed around the club. Every tree has its own separate theme. There is a unicorn tree. There is a tree filled with pictures of her friends. Each one has its own stack of gifts wrapped in matching paper.

Mantles and balconies are decorated with multicolored trees and swags of baubles. The tables are scaped. All of the seating is covered in ornament pillows. The front door is decked out on both sides. The outside of the building has picture-perfect icicles dangling from all the eaves, and a gentle coat of snow on the ground immediately surrounding her space.

One change she's made this year is that there's no life-sized nativity this time. That shit was not worth the effort. Instead, the back half of the building, where there's normally a haunting, empty warehouse, has been made over to appear as a small, snow-covered pond, frozen over for skating. The ice never melts, despite the warmth of the air inside, and Julie herself doesn't seem all that interested in using the pond; there are no skate marks to be seen on the surface of the pond. But the bare trees next to it have lights strung in the upper branches, and there's a bench with a few pairs of ice skates.

Julie has never seen a fully frozen pond in her life, at least not one bigger than a large puddle. It's a scene ripped straight from movies and old stories, not memory. Her Christmas memories are religious, mostly, and of large family parties that never had enough gifts for everyone. Sneaking out to get drunk in the parking lot with her cousins during the third hour of Christmas Eve service. Nothing worth recreating here.

Whenever she's in her domain, she's downstairs, wrapping gifts or stringing garlands. Tinsel is hung on trees strand-by-strand with her invisible hand, as she picks out each ornament for placement. Her partiers, all in festive sweaters, seem to linger closer to her than normal, though she doesn't spend much time talking to them. Steven mans the bar as always, dressed in questionable taste as Santa. Her tiny unicorn and dragon both stay close to her, both wearing jingle bell collars. Additionally, the Kaer Morhen wolf often makes an appearance here, sitting next to her on the ground as she untangles lights.

While she takes extreme pains to never be seen there, she does frequently visit the Singularity, as well. For some time, she didn't go to it -- not out of desire to be separated, but out of fear. Fear for what she saw when she touched the blob. She doesn't know what any of it means, how the blob connects to the Singularity, but the sounds and colors swirl around her again when she gets close. Not a flashback, not quite, but background noise that isn't there when she intentionally keeps her mind away from the Singularity.

It reaches for her and she turns away. Tries to apologize without opening herself. She's not sure how much gets through.

But the Dimming worries her, and she feels a stronger need to visit, to monitor. She's not immune to being surprised, but she stays away during the Horizon's busiest hours, comes by at night for a short while. Talks to it again.

Come by the Singularity early enough in the morning, and you might catch sight of butterflies around the base of the monolith, ones that gently dissipate in the morning light. ]

[carmesi]

[when wanda goes into julie's horizon, having felt her presence within the shared space of all summoned, what she expected to find was her bubblegum-haired friend doing—something. wanda isn't so sure she expected that something to be the harboring of (what feels like) an infinite amount of christmas decorations that might rival that of movie and tv productions. knowing what her room looks like here, wanda thinks she shouldn't have expected any less, truth be told, but as she wanders about, she stops to observe the different things with genuine curiosity.

christmas was always such an american thing that she would see from the other side of the screen, on films and sitcoms, and never quite something she ever felt like she could celebrate. still, there is some childlike wonder in all the colorful baubles and trees and tinsel flooding the space.

she heads downstairs, where julie is wrapping gifts.]

I guess it's never too early to start decorating?

[her hand on the banister of the stairs slips back onto her own hold as she draws closer, finds a moderately empty spot on the floor and sits besides julie.]

Did you do all this by hand?

[princessvegas]

[ As it turns out, wrapping hundreds of purely decorative gift boxes is actually much easier when you have three hands. The pile she's working on now is all shimmery silver wrapping paper, to match a tree that bears a diamond theme. She's cutting lengths of white ribbon studded with Swarovski crystals -- several already finished boxes have enormous, intricate bows topping them.

For all the fact that this is nothing but maladaptive coping gone haywire, Julie doesn't look unhappy. She beams at Wanda from her spot on the floor, then glances around. ]

Is it early? I mean, I know the calendars don't match up exactly, but Christmas should be in just a few weeks, I think.

[ And while she has never been a proponent of the Christmas creep, she can't see the harm. And she knows it's post-Thanksgiving, and therefore solidly within the realm of acceptable timeframe.

Julie resumes cutting ribbon with a shrug. ] I mean, I used my magic hand for the high-up stuff. Last year I actually got on a ladder, so.

[carmesi]

It feels like Sam's party wasn't too long ago.

[and—yeah, the calendar is hard to figure out, but she's also not someone who's been in the business of celebrating christmas. she's only ever seen people putting up decorations, but never figured some would do it way in advance.

she grabs at one of the tinsel on the floor, curling it around her fingers for a bit.

two christmases julie will have spent here. how strange to think about that.]

I can only imagine you've decorated similarly outside of the Horizon. [because why stop here? wanda glances at her.] Is this something you celebrated like this back home? Before — what happened in your world?

[her parents dying, the end of the world, all that.]

[princessvegas]

Well, sure. Thanksgivin' and Christmas are only a month apart. There's some overlap, and Christmas is the biggest holiday of the year, at least where I'm from.

[ Which is, of course, deep in the heart of white, Christian America. Julie isn't sure she's ever even seen a menorah in person. Christmas was an excuse to basically party (in a very, very specific and religious way) for a month. Christmas pageants, Christmas markets, Christmas festivals. Where you engage in almost all of the seven deadly sins for a whole month but it's cool because something something Christ is born.

None of that changes the fact that Julie is doing this because every second she spends on this bullshit is just a second she's not stuck thinking about what's actually happened to her. ]

Mm, not really like this. I could never have afforded to do this kind of thing back then. Doin' it here, where money doesn't matter, it's kinda different. But I guess the heart of it, makin' everythin' look festive, yeah, we used to do that back home. I've always been more of a Halloween girl myself, but why not do both?

[carmesi]

[wanda supposes any holiday is a big holiday when all you got are the rubble-remains of a life, festering for an unknown amount of time with bombings and civil unrest; childhood homes destroyed, food scarce and rationed amongst everyone.]

Americans have a lot of celebrations.

[there was that barbecue she remembers people being excited about, then halloween, thanksgiving, and now christmas... yeah, wanda doesn't see why julie shouldn't indulge in all these holidays.

anyway, it's not an apology, but— she sets the tinsel down on her lap, along with her hands, looking over at the other woman.]

I wanted to be here for Halloween, but that time was... really bad. [with the omens, and everything.] I kept to Solvunn. [and avoided the horizon for a hot minute.] —I wanted to go because it feels like a while since I've seen you.

[princessvegas]

It is one of the things we do best. Any excuse for a party, I guess.

[ Which is basically Julie's approach. She has achieved a strange plateau in life, where she no long has any kind of strict schedule to keep to. No farm chores, no job, no particularly time consuming housekeeping, now that she can use magic. It's not even like being a housewife, it's sort of just aimlessly floating through life. She spends her days with Geralt or Nadine, keeps up with the house, practices magic. Does whatever she wants.

And she likes that freedom. Sometimes, however, she wants her time so occupied with mundane tasks that she can't spare any mind power towards the crushing anxiety she's been living in for over a month. The decorations fill that space nicely.

Julie lets her hands go still and tilts her head to one side, listening. She doesn't blame anyone for avoiding the Horizon then; while her own experience was uniquely difficult, she hadn't gone through the repeated abuse of being dropped somewhere unintentionally. And because she'd been trapped for almost then entire time, she didn't experience much of the herald symptoms. She understands why people would skip the party. ]

It's okay. There's been so much happenin'. All the time. Everywhere. Are you all right? I didn't want to bother you.

Nocwich ; for Kyle

[princessvegas]

[ If she's honest, Julie doesn't see the appeal in monthly visits to Nocwich. She wishes there was a permanent portal for quick travel to Aquila, if she's to have frequent mini-vacations, but instead, no, a portal to constant night and werewolves and vampires. She's not really a hang-out-with-werewolves-and-vampires type. Nor did she really miss proper winter weather enough to actively want to experience it again.

But it's what's available, and it isn't like Julie's paying for any of this, so she's bundled herself up in her fur-trimmed cloak from Nott and come through the portal from Cadens.

She has less stuff this time, and no moth kit with her. The glowing pendant from the last time bounces gently on her chest as she wanders the square in the "morning", waiting for the spa to open. The offerings aren't all that different from a few months ago -- the only thing she has apparently seen fit to buy is a bottle of wine that she carries in a small paper bag.

Though she is walking along, she takes pains to never stray into places that appear less than half full. Several of the others had left before she woke up this morning, and she is inclined to stay as near the largest number of people as she can. She doesn't want to be alone for even an instant until she can meet back up with her group.

With a gentle tinkling bell announcing her arrival in the cafe she's chosen in the square, she quickly shuts the door behind her, the air turning her breath into mist in front of her as she does. Some snow has caught on the pink strands that peek out from her hood to frame her face, and she knocks the hood back once the door is closed.

Picking a table, she takes a seat and glances at the tea menu. Her nose wrinkles at the section of raw meat choices. ]

[ushiri]

[ In the brief time it's been available so far, Kahlil has been setting aside at least one day each month for Nocwich. There are people from other factions he would like to see in person every so often - and training he's started, hidden in the dark of the hunting grounds. It's best not to be seen with being too friendly with people from the Free Cities, or even Solvunn. He behaves under the assumption that there are eyes on the Summoned, always.

Within the square and open market, the cafe is one of the handful of shops that allow visitors to escape the cold, which is where he is right now, seated at a table with a floral blend. He sits with his back to a wall, able to see everyone that enters with the tinkle of the bell, and that's how he spots a familiar flash of pink hair.

After a moment of hesitation he collects his tea and walks over to her table. ]

Julie? It's good to see you again. [ He cocks his head, scanning her features for anything noticeably different about her appearance since the last time they met. ] Would you mind company?

[princessvegas]

[ Unless he's able to detect that she's had to start dying her eyebrows and eyelashes dark with magic (as literally every hair on her body has now suddenly started growing in bubblegum pink), she looks more or less the same as she did before. Perhaps slightly more tired, definitely colder. Julie is very good at masking for the sake of carrying on as usual; in her world, trauma had to be pushed down and ignored, at risk of being seen as weak. Weakness was death.

She doesn't necessarily seem surprised to see him, so much as just pleasant caught off-guard. As she takes off her cloak to drape it on the chair behind her, she gestures at the seat across from herself. ] No, not at all. Take a seat.

[ Her clothes this time are slightly less flashy, though just as nice -- her dress is burgundy velvet, the waist beaded in iridescent black swirls. She wears a stack of thin bangles on one wrist, a fine chain with a tiny gold Wheel of Fortune arcana hangs from her neck. She sets the bag with the wine at her side on the ground. ]

You look like you're doin' okay over there.

[ushiri]

[ With a small grin he takes a seat. He's always a little enamored by her outfits, even the more relatively subdued ones (at least compared to her sparkling costumes in Horizon). Kahlil himself dresses the same as he did when they first met, in black and greys, so that it's more easy to slip unnoticed in the crowds. He does seem like he's doing okay, nothing noticeably or negatively stands out about his appearance. ]

Things have been quiet. [ he says with an agreeable nod. Quiet is a double-edged sword. ]

What about you? [ He can clock the slight weariness, but nothing more. ] I heard you were holding a party last month?

[ Had it not been for all the events of the week prior to that night he probably would've popped in out of curiosity. His caution had lasted nearly a week, and then after that he might've been purposely avoiding her club... ]

[princessvegas]

Yeah, a Halloween party. It's my favorite holiday. I'd been workin' on it for months, I wasn't about to let some shitty curse... thing take it away from me.

[ Honestly, if she hadn't already had the party planned, she probably would have thrown it on a week's notice, just to have something to sink herself into. Her experience didn't really stain her relationship with the Horizon, so she didn't mind spending time there. The part that seems to have spooked so many of them, repeatedly ending up in the wrong place, only actually happened to her once. Besides, she can't bear to stay out of the Horizon for more than a day or so. It's her home. ]

Anyway, that's over. It was just a way to pass the time. Like everythin' else in life.

[ushiri]

[ He gives a half nod, resting his hands on either side of his tea to warm them. ]

I'm sorry I missed out, I've never gotten to celebrate Halloween before.

[ Only watched from afar. He imagines hers must have been a dazzling spectacle, nothing like he would've seen before. Kahlil frowns for a second, then ventures: ]

... is Steven feeling better?

[ They're in public, and though they're speaking low he's trying to be a little vague about what and where they're actually talking about. ]

[princessvegas]

I'll have another party next year. [ She does not acknowledge the all-too-real risk of neither of them being here next year. ] I just figure that, if this place is ready to fling bullshit at us, we might as well keep takin' advantage of the best part of it.

[ The Horizon is truly the best gift that Abraxas has given them. Julie does not truly feel at home in Cadens or Nott or Nocwich -- she feels at home in the Horizon, surrounded by the memories of a world she understood, by people designed to make sure she feels comfortable. She would no sooner flee the Horizon because of the heralds than she would flee her physical home.

Someone swings by to drop off the tea she ordered, a large blossom in the center of the glass teapot. She pours her a cup as she furrows her brow at him. ]

Um, I don't know. He never seemed not-okay to me.

[ Because, unbeknownst to her, her domain had snapped completely back to normal the second she dropped through the roof in her loft. ]

nocwich.

[londonbound]

[ Upon finding out that they'll be able to visit Oleuni Square in Nocwich again -- monthly, even -- Rhy has been relieved and excited for the opportunity to actually see his friends in person. With tensions high, he's not unaware of some level of risk, but Nocwich is supposedly neutral ground.

Julie immediately comes to mind. He reaches out on the first day, sends her a message asking if she's planning on going and if she'd like to meet. At whatever agreed-upon time, Rhy will be waiting in one of the bars, a vampire-run establishment that's more classy lounge than tavern. He has a bottle of wine on the table for them already, of the normal variety rather than blood wine.

When he sees Julie approaching, he's quickly on his feet, stepping forward to meet her with arms open for an embrace. It doesn't occur to him that she might not consider them close enough for that; to him, they've been through so much together already, he just wants to give her a good long hug. ]

Julie! Saints, it's good to see you.

[princessvegas]

[ Julie had been... less enthused by the idea of Nocwich. Not that she doesn't want a monthly vacation or to meet her friends from other kingdoms, but she would have much preferred it be somewhere with sunlight. But she's not about to turn down people who want to meet her, either, so she accepts the invitation and turns up on time.

Given the vast style gap between what she wears in the Horizon and what's actually available in this world, she actually doesn't appear all that different -- her dress is longer, heavier, less outwardly flashy, but her hair is still vibrant pink (it actually grows that way now). Her nails are still polished, her makeup still done, if more in line with Free City norms. She has a lot of jewelry.

But the most important part is that she immediately runs into Rhy's arms, her own thrown around his neck. Julie is not someone who shies away from physical affection, even with people she barely knows. She hugs him for a long moment, then leans back slightly to take his face in her hands, looking him over, as if she would even know what she's looking for. ]

Oh, Rhy, honey. You're okay?

[londonbound]

[ She here, warm and solid in his arms. He can smell her perfume, feel the tickle of her unusual hair against his cheek when he presses her close and holds her until she pulls away.

After spending all that time together but not, he can't help the wave of staggering relief that sweeps over him to actually see her in person. Not even just in the Horizon, but sharing the same physical space. It almost doesn't feel real.

There is absolutely no protest or attempt to pull away when she takes his face in her hands. In fact, he leans into it a little, closes his eyes for just a fraction longer than a blink. It's surprisingly soothing.

Rhy takes her hands very gently in his when she begins to lower them, and gives her fingers a squeeze. ]

I'm okay. Thank you.

[princessvegas]

[ She beams at him. It's a bit strange, to feel so familiar someone that she has never met in person before, but here in this moment, she feels almost like they've been together the whole time.

Maybe it's just her constant desperation to feel connected to other people. To reassure herself that she is not alone, that she is sane and real. Rhy is the most concentrated version of that, the very essence of that connection. She doesn't care why, just that he is, and they feel linked. ]

Good. [ Her voice is soft for that single word, then rises again. ] C'mon, let's sit down and have a drink now.