{Every time I take your lead, feels like a curse

[shadowthief]

Who: Inej + Various / Kol + Various
When: Month of January
Where: Cadens / Thorne + the Horizon
What: Various threads through the month
Warnings: Kol: a history of child abuse; violence, torture, murder, death; foul language; alcoholism; general hedonism; manipulation; heavy trust issues; paranoia. Any/all of these may come up at any given time within a thread with him, and most if not all of it will be referenced rather casually by Kol. Inej: stealing; murder; descriptions of touch aversion, anxiety, depression, PTSD; heavy trust issues, paranoia; mentions of past instances of prostitution, slavery, and sexual assault. Everything will be clearly marked if-when it comes up.

And every time I try to stop

it feels even worse

Comments

[widows_kiss]

It's the circus tent that had caught her eye as she wandered through some of the more unknown reaches of the Horizon this afternoon. There's a bite of nostalgia as she takes in the striped canvas, a momentary pang of missing her partner and the sarcastic quips he'd no doubt be making right now, were he at her side. But she heads for the tent, ducks through the opening and pauses as she lets her eyes adjust to the dim interior.

It's the sound of movement that draws her gaze upwards, following the progress of a slim slip of a girl as she balances herself on her precarious perch. Even from here, Natasha can see she's an expert at her craft, the way she holds herself, the way she moves.

By the time the girl finishes her display and cartwheels onto the far platform, she can only chuckle, a warm smile curving across her lips as she watches. Knowing it was safe to speak now that she wouldn't risk disturbing her concentration, she steps out into the ring beneath the tightwire, head still canted upwards.

"Do you always practice without a net?"

[shadowthief]

Inej spins on her toes and looks down where the woman stands far below. "Yes," she says it with too much confidence for it to be false bluster. It's just a simple truth.

She sits on the platform, legs crossed in a lotus position, "But you aren't the first person to have opinions about it," she's thinking of Kaz and the numerous arguments they've had about it through the years.

[widows_kiss]

"I didn't claim to have opinions."

Natasha counters with a crooked smile, and while that's true, it had answered a different question. She leans against one of the poles across the ring from where the young woman perches, her arms crossed over her chest.

"To be honest, I'd probably do the same. Does it help to keep you focused?" It's a guess - she could be way off base, but...

[shadowthief]

"You don't have to claim to have them for opinions to exist," she flips it back at her whip-sharp, but a wide grin on her face all the while. People are wandering into her tent more lately and she really, really kind of adores it.

She thinks about it for a moment, mulling over the best way to explain it before she settles on, "It puts doubt on the wire with me, steals the certainty from my steps."

[widows_kiss]

"That's true." Natasha's grin just widens at the quick quip, amused. "Okay, in that case, I wasn't going to make my opinions your problem. Better?"

Not that she disapproved, and that was pretty evident in her amused tone.

The explanation has her humming thoughtfully, however, as she eyes the wire. "Most people would prefer to be certain, when dancing along a razor's edge. Doubt would make them hesitate." She's not one of them, but most people never accused her of being entirely sane, either.

[shadowthief]

"I trust myself more than any net," and it was the best way to perform on a wire. There's no room for shyness and second-guessing when you're so far up above the ground. "the few times I've had one, are the times things went wrong." So maybe it's a little pinch of superstition, too.

"Almost falling was part of my old routine," she admits easily enough. "my family performed for a living," and it was the most magical thing in the world to her. It's why part of her domain is made up of this. The caravan with its eternally burning campfire and her crow companion aren't far, either.

[widows_kiss]

She looks intrigued at that explanation. "Something to enhance the excitement, then." She can understand that, even if this whole setting is far from the way Natasha learned similar skills.

She also doesn't miss the use of past tense there.

"Do you miss it? Performing?"

[shadowthief]

"Something like that," she nods with a grin. It's rare she finds someone who understands it in the same way she does.

She nods again, "I do. Less the pomp of it all, and just..." she glances around the tent that looks like so many others she's been underneath in the distant past. It was a whole different lifetime ago. Maybe two of them now, really. "It was family. It was home."

And then somehow, Kaz had found her parents. A fact that digs under her skin every time she thinks of it again. Found. Only to be ripped away to this world instead. Would she ever get to keep them again? Was this her punishment from The Saints?

[widows_kiss]

"I get that." She does. There's a hint of nostalgia in her own voice. Longing. An empty place where those things once fit. She lets her gaze sweep around the tent's interior, almost as if she could see what the other woman would picture that as. "Sometimes they can change shape, though. Take on a new one, in unexpected ways. Family. Home."

Hers had. And she's grateful for them.

But that's also a sad topic all on it's own these days and Natasha didn't come here with that in mind. Instead, she gives the tightrope a speculative look again. "Think you could teach someone how to do that?"

[shadowthief]

Her smile holds true and bright. "I've known it to be true, as well," new bonds with people, new ties to places, all parts of a life that she had built back in Ketterdam, something she's done further still during her time in Cadens as well. It's even common among her people at their core- roaming the country as the Suli do, it's hard to not make new attachments.

Inej lights up at the question, it's the sort of thing she's never thought about but now that she's faced with the possibility of it, it's kind of exciting. "I've never taught before, but- I could try?"

[widows_kiss]

Natasha can't help but grin at the eagerness that flares across the girl's face.

"Well, I've never tried to balance on something as thin as a tightrope before, so we'll both be trying new things." She doesn't doubt her ability to manage it, but she'd prefer to learn it from an expert rather than trial and error. That can wait for practicing it.

[shadowthief]

"I guess that's true." she muses. She hesitates only another second before she gets up from her perch on the platform and makes a hasty descent down to ground level. There's a sinuous quality to way she moves while she climbs, not unlike curls of smoke or a nosy cat. Once she's low enough she can trust it, she jumps from ladder onto the ground below. It isn't really a performance, but it isn't exactly not one, either.

She marches over to where the other woman waits and holds out a hand in introduction. "I am Inej."

[widows_kiss]

It is, however, a familiar sort of grace and balance that Natasha is familiar with, one she watches with a thoughtful glance, observing things that stand out to her and impressing her even more about this new acquaintance.

She smiles as she shifts forward half a step and reaches out to take that hand, her grip warm and firm. "Natasha. A pleasure, Inej. Would you like to start now? Or would you prefer to set up another time to meet here?"

[shadowthief]

"Likewise," she smiles and takes her hand back after a moment. "How about we go over some things today and we can meet for proper lessons another day?"

She wanders toward the stands to sit in one of the rows. "Have you ever done gymnastics or anything? I'm guessing you have some kind of similar training if you're interested in something like this." People don't really just try to walk on a rope suspended in the air just because.

[widows_kiss]

Actually, that sounds like exactly something her partner would have done, but he had a fondness for the circus anyway. In his own way. She's pretty sure he might know how to do this already anyway.

She follows Inej and sinks down beside her, stretching her legs out comfortably as she leans back on her hand and smiles.

"I've got some training in gymnastics, yes. Dance. Martial arts. I trained in a lot of things back home." She's very well-rounded. Which might also give away a hint as to why she'd look to expand that knowledge further. That's also potentially a gross oversimplification of her training, but it covers the necessities, she thinks.

[shadowthief]

"Quite the mixed-skills," she says, an amused lilt to her voice. She can't imagine what sort of training requires all of those skills, but it does at least give Natasha a step up from starting with none at all.

She's never taught before, but she's intrigued by the idea of it now that it's been presented with her. "We can start low with a slack line, I think. Something simple just to get the feel of it. All those skills, you'll be on a high rope in no time." She grins widely.

[widows_kiss]

Natasha just grins at the observation. "My skills are intended to help me blend in no matter where I might be or where I need to go." Which explains the wide variety, for the most part.

But the comment about the training and where to start has her looking back to the rope before casting a smile at Inej once more.

"I look forward to it."

This is gonna be fun.