abraxaslogs | [july] keep me in the dollhouse, dressed up

Oh, no, it's not like that.

[Nadine shakes her head and sinks down comfortably against the pillows, exhaling smoke at the underside of the canopy.]

It's a sometimes thing. Usually if it's someone new, or if I discover some new thing I'm into. And he just sort of shares at random back, but he sleeps with so many more people than I do. I honestly don't understand how he has the energy for it.

[It's exhausting! She would be worn out so quickly, and she thinks she has a pretty healthy libido. Thank god he's not into monogamy, she'd get nothing done. There's no way she could keep up with him.]

Mmm, as far as I'm concerned, you won the masquerade. It was amazing. And there were a lot of really good costumes, but you really went above and beyond. Speaking of costumes...turns out Jaskier looks really good in a corset.

[ Julie reaches for the joint and takes another deep drag before she answers, still looking somewhat pensive. ]

But like, how often are you just figurin' out some new kink you want to try? And with someone who isn't him? [ After a second of consideration, she adds, ] Maybe it's just that, with like, real kink shit, I don't want that to be with anyone I don't know well enough to blackmail into keepin' their yap shut.

[ And while she can't claim she has an awareness of every single possible kink out there, Julie does have a pretty wide sexual knowledge. From both experience and also from just voracious internet consumption from an extremely young age. So she has a vague idea of how she feels about most relatively common kinky things. There's a lot less to discover in general. ]

I don't know. [ A thoughtful hum. ] I could have sex like, eight or nine times a day, no problem. It's more that he's havin' sex with that many new folks. That's way more work than I'm willin' to put in if I don't have to.

Really? [ Julie seems genuinely endeared at the sentiment. ] There were so many people who turned themselves into like, stars and smoke and stuff, I felt simple once I actually got there and saw everyone. Like I shoulda done more. [ She takes another drink and lets the empty glass rest next to her. ] Hm. He looked good, but like, I just don't find that very attractive.

Well, I was unhealthily repressed for most of my life, I had my first sexual experience at thirty eight...hell, I kissed someone for real the first time when I was thirty eight. Until recently I could probably count the times I masturbated off the top of my head. So yeah, there's a lot of stuff I'm still figuring out. We also probably define 'kink' pretty different. Sexting is kinky, to me.

[Nadine's sexual education had been....unbalanced. And normally she wouldn't really talk about this, but Julie both knows her well and knows about her specific history. There's no need to be vague or dance around certain subjects.]

I know what I don't like, Harold took care of that pretty well, but he was into extreme stuff. There's areas I'm slowly exploring and a lot of it is stuff I'm okay exploring with not-Jaskier partners. None of it's stuff that requires a lot of trust or anything - you and Jaskier are the only people I'd be comfortable with heavily trust-based stuff.

[Things involving restraint or blindfolds or anything like that. Anything with increased vulnerability.]

Yes, really. Sure, a lot of people used cool illusions. You didn't do an illusion. That's a hell of a lot more impressive. I'm good at magic. I've been doing it for years, and out of books. I couldn't do anything even close to what you did and if I tried...it would probably end up some nightmare out of a Carpenter movie.

[It's a kind of magic that seems so far beyond her knowledge and ability. It's not even the sort of thing she can remember seeing done in Thorne, though she supposes it's not as if she'd have seen it anyway. Still. Julie had impressed her.]

Yeah, the whole get-up didn't really do anything for me that way, but just the corset...I don't know. See, like I said, I'm still figuring out things I like.

But you knew about kinks that people have, right? Like, there's a ton of kinky shit that I have never done, but I still feel some kinda way about it. I mean, fuck, I know about kinks that ain't even actually possible in real life. That's not the stuff they make jokes about on TV, but like, you didn't go on the internet? You didn't read fanfiction or whatever?

[ Reminder: Julie was born in 1997. She is of a generation where admitting to weird internet activities is just a normal part of life. And honestly, as much as she loves Nadine, she absolutely can see Nadine reading a lot of fanfiction. Probably mushy fanfiction about fantasy characters. Could also be into coffeeshop AUs.

Her nose wrinkles a little. ] Not to make you have PTSD flashbacks about it, but can you define "extreme" for me? Because clearly you and I have very different scales.

[ If Nadine thinks sexting is kinky, then Julie is not entirely convinced that she doesn't just mean regular anal is extreme. Anything she didn't want to do was wrong, but it definitely means Julie's perspective on the whole thing is shifted a little.

Julie shakes her head, her eyebrows arching. ]

Oh please, a lotta that was Fey potions and shit. Don't think I'm anythin' special. I even had a regular, plain ol' mask that I brought, just in case I fucked it up even worse than I thought I might. [ She had actually gone into the week unsure of whether she should even try magic. The ears, she was pretty confident with (although the ones she taught herself weren't nearly as realistic), but her face, she had been very nervous about. ] I built a lot on what the potions could do.

[ She doesn't feel as powerful as her costume might have suggested she is. Most of the time, Julie feels incredibly stupid and incapable. How can she be any good at magic? She hasn't even been doing it for two years yet. ]

Didn't you ever see Rocky Horror? That's like, the whole end of the movie. Just dudes in corsets.

I knew about some stuff. But...I really wasn't exposed to much of any of it until I was already an adult. In college at the earliest. And even then...I mean, we're talking Red Shoe Diaries on late night cable and romance novels. I saw a Playboy once, when I was a teenager.

[Nadine had come to the internet late. It hadn't been in many of the homes she'd grown up in, and even when it was, she wasn't allowed to use it beyond for school. That whole world is one she never managed to stumble into.

It may have been better if she had.]

I'm not exaggerating when I say I always tried really hard to be a 'good girl'. Which I know is a bullshit concept, but organized religion does a number on a kid. Throw in learning at twelve that you're not allowed to have sex ever until a very specific but still undefined time, and not really getting online until adulthood...yeah, no, I sometimes watched softcore porn. And then felt guilty about it.

[With the next question, she pours herself another glass of wine. No, she doesn't like this particular stretch of memory lane, but whatever. It's sharing time, apparently.]

Like...aggressive humiliation stuff. And...mmm, let's say imbalanced power dynamics. And I don't know if it was a kink thing or he just watched too much porn, but he really thought hard spanking was a lot of fun. And I don't even mind things getting rough, that's fine. It was just...I wish he'd never grown a pair and started making demands, it was so much easier when I barely had to touch him and it was done.

[It came down to control. So many things in her life did. So many times and so many circumstances where she'd had no control, or had to give it over. And at first she'd felt very in control of Harold. Until she didn't.]

It wasn't all potions. You did something really cool and impressive, Julie, just accept that. And yes, I saw Rocky Horror once, but those guys never appealed to me, so...

[ It is very clear from her blank expression that Julie is completely baffled by multiple things Nadine says. What do red shoes have to do with anything? Is it a Christian Louboutin, red bottom stiletto heels kink? Seeing one Playboy and that's a seminal event (pun unintended)?

Religion fucking with your head is one thing. Julie understands that. What she can't really wrap her mind around is a Flagg who demands not just loyalty, in the form of virginity, but also... innocence? The Flagg Julie knew, that she covetously observed, he would have wanted her to know everything to better use it against others in his service.

Or did she have to be that innocent to get so close to the witch?

Nadine keeps talking, and Julie doesn't say anything. A brief face she makes indicates that she maybe doesn't necessarily disagree with Harold (ew) on the specific subject of spanking, and she's somewhat relieved to learn that Nadine's definition of extreme is, indeed, a lot tamer than her own. It's still bad, but not the kind of bad that Julie knew lurked out in their world.

But none of that is really pertinent. The intention hadn't been to make Nadine relive it; she just wanted some clarification. She would have taken a one-word answer.

So Julie shifts in the pillows, sits up more and curls next to Nadine, lays her head on Nadine's shoulder. She takes Nadine's hand and laces their fingers together before she sighs and presses the back of Nadine's hand to her lips for a moment. ]

Love you. [ There's no real clarification as to what she means, what it's a response to. Maybe just the whole story. That sentence hangs for a second before Julie says anything else. ] Okay, so what do you like? There's like, the hotwife-ish, open relationship thing. That's one thing. Although maybe it's only hotwife if you have like, one specific secondary dude? I'm not sure. Whatever, it's in that category. Maybe corsets? But really, I kinda think you just like Jaskier, and he wore a corset. Not sure if that counts, ma'am.

[ Still clutching Nadine's hand, Julie pours a new glass of wine with her phantom hand, then takes a sip. ]

There's like, so many other things. You definitely know stuff you're into, even if you never tried it.

You too.

[Nadine is surprised by the words, enough to automatically offer an honest response. She squeezes Julie's hand, shifting to curl up to her.

She glances over, a look of perplexity on her face.]

I'm sorry, wait, what...what is 'hot wife'? Is it like MILF?

[See, she knows some things! But not whatever Julie is talking about. There are whole realms of kink and non-traditional relationships that she's entirely ignorant of. But if anyone can give her a thorough education, it's Julie.]

And you might be right that it's a Jaskier-specific thing. There's some things that I only like when he's involved. But...I do like...control stuff. At least with men. Being in control. I like it a little rough sometimes. Biting and scratching sort of stuff.

[Color comes to her cheeks, even with the alcohol and the cannabis and the relative comfortable nature of the evening. It's ridiculous, considering she's had sex with Julie. It shouldn't be embarrassing to admitting to some, probably mild, kinks.

But some habits die hard.]

[ Before Captain Trips, Julie was pretty open with her emotions. With men in particular, she was more cagey, used feelings and affection as a bargaining chip, but never with just her friends -- she told them she loved them constantly. The virus, the aftermath, Abraxas, it all changed the way she communicates. But she can still let the words surface when they need to, for the people she cares about. Jesper, Jaskier, Ciri, Nadine.

Julie blinks, then giggles. ]

No, no. A hotwife is like, a married woman, or a woman in a committed relationship, who has sex with other people, and her husband knows and thinks it's hot. But it's not like cuck stuff, 'cause it's not about the, um, humiliation part of it? Like, guys who like to get cucked, part of it is the idea that they're not good enough or big enough or somethin'. That they can't satisfy their woman. That's the actual kink. But if you take that part of it out, and it's just that he thinks it's hot if she sleeps with other people just 'cause she wants to, then it's a different kink and it's called hotwife. [ Julie screws her face up a little, thoughtfully. ] I mean, there's some overlap with the terms, I think. The whole concept is kinda blurry, it doesn't have clear-cut divisions. And swingers really like words. They have terms for everythin'.

[ She nods as she listens to Nadine try and come up with other stuff. If biting and scratching are supposed to be kinky, well then, someone give Julie her kink crown. ]

I don't even know that I'd call that rough. I mean, if his back ain't torn up the next day, then what did he even do? [ She reaches for the joint and takes another drag. ] Yeah, I can see the control thing. Soft domme vibes. Like, Mommy domme.

Oh! Okay...yeah, that's something we're into. Jaskier just really gets into me enjoying myself, even if he's not involved. That's a weird thing to call it, though. God, does this mean I'm a swinger?

[Nadine's never exactly thought of it in those terms, but...it does pretty much fit, as far as her understanding goes. She has one primary partner she's in a committed relationship with, and then casual lovers.

Whatever, it works for them and they have fun and if it hasn't gotten weird at this point, it's not going to.]

I call that a little rough. I have sex lots of time without any lasting marks. But sometimes...yeah, I want to get thrown around and sink my teeth into my partner. And yeah, I'm sure you're not surprised at the control thing. It's lots of verbal stuff, mostly, and a little light bondage sometimes.

[That's something she's still easing into.]

And I mean...obviously things with Flagg would get intense and weird sometimes, but not always in a bad way...

[Much as there are many things Nadine is glad to be rid of in regards to her dark magic husband, the sex had been, overall, very good.]

[ Julie cracks up again at the way Nadine seems so dismayed by the label. It's just very funny to her. ] No, I think the whole thing just kinda falls under... like, ethical non-monogamy. I think that was the latest name for it. That's the whole umbrella, and swinging specifically is more of like, an active thing, maybe? Swinging is like, key parties and sex clubs and stuff -- you go with your partner, with the actual goal of findin' other people to fuck. [ Still squinting a little, Julie takes a gulp of wine and shakes her head a bit. ] I'm not pretendin' to be an expert on like, the organized aspects of it all. This is just what I picked up from other people. But I think the main thing is that everythin' is consensual and agreed on by everyone involved.

[ Julie has never honestly agreed to be exclusive with anyone before, so she's not entirely sure how it all works when people have these discussions. Every time she has been in an "exclusive" relationship, she has still simply done as she wanted -- if the guy wanted to get mad about cheating, that was his own problem. Added with her pattern of dating only easily manipulated people, she was pretty much afforded free license to fuck whoever she saw fit. What were they going to do? For much of her life, Julie was the hottest, wildest, feistiest girl within a hundred miles. There was no man who could pin her down, and she was an expert at making them be grateful that she merely remembered their name.

She scoffs. No matter how bad or weird anything else associated with Flagg could possibly be, Julie would not in a million years ever believe that he was anything less than phenomenal in bed. He was an immortal, hedonistic psychopath. Those are all factors that add up to incredible sex. ]

Okay, look, I never asked about this before, but I need you to clear the air now, 'cause it's been almost two years and it's been makin' me crazy the whole time. [ She seems almost exasperated. The question has been plaguing her. ] What the fuck did you mean when you said his dick was "bigger than human"? 'Cause, like, he was still man shaped! Those jeans were tight as shit, he did not have like a full-blown tree trunk or somethin' growin' off him.

[ With another sip of wine, she arches her eyebrows. ] Lloyd woulda never shut up about it if he did.

I had no idea the world of swinging and alternative relationships was so vast.

[Nadine can honestly say she's never given it much thought. But she likes the phrase 'ethical non-monogamy'. It suits what she and Jaskier do quite well. She's going to have so many things to share with him the next time they talk.

Her expression turns almost thoughtful when Julie moves on to her question. It's not entirely unexpected. She can imagine the other woman's thought about what she'd said that once, almost in passing.]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure Lloyd only saw him when he looked human. It only happened once, the first time. Which started out...well, not normal, because he was using an illusion or something so it didn't look or feel like we were in the desert. But in the middle of things he...changed. And the illusion wasn't holding well. He wasn't shaped like a human anymore. I mean, he was, basically, but...

[Nadine shakes her head and downs the rest of her wine in one go. She doesn't even know how to describe what had suddenly been stretched out over her. Something like a corpse, but red eyed and she swears it had looked like his skin was cracked and peeling off of him...

But none of those details need to be relayed.]

It was fucked up, and it hurt, and he felt cold...but it obviously didn't leave any lasting damage or anything, so I don't know. Magic, I guess.

Oh, that's barely even touchin' the surface. BDSM is like, the only thing I can think of that gets even more detailed.

[ In Julie's defense, it's a haunting thought with too many possibilities. How big? What was it shaped like? Fucked up how? It's like getting kicked out before the biggest twist in the movie. She wants to know the twist!

For a moment, Julie is quiet. Her eyes tick thoughtfully from corner to corner, rolled up toward the ceiling. Like she is processing in real time. Finally, she speaks, slowly. ]

Okay, but like... how big? [ For whatever reason, this seems to be where she's stuck. Helpfully, she raises her arm in front of her, bent at the elbow, a vertical line. Her fist is balled. ] Like, to the elbow? 'Cause I have definitely seen a video of that, and it's possible.

[ She is way too serious about it.

Sorry, Nadine. ]

Oh my God, I...have no idea, it was already inside me when this happened. I didn't see it, I just...felt it. And it felt like something freezing cold and big was tearing me apart. I have no idea what the scale is for true-form demon dicks or how magic demon sex works. It...it was a really weird wedding night.

[And she'd never once asked him about it, when she had the chance. She hadn't wanted to. Flagg had never done that again, in the handful of months they'd been together. Thankfully.

But it's something she'll never forget. How does anybody forget that? Really, she should have realized then and there. Love and magic do weird things to a person.]

Every other time he was normal, the Flagg you and everybody always saw. And it was good. Big but normal human big.

[ Julie really wants to keep pushing. She is nothing if not relentless. Ideally, she would walk away from this exchange with a pencil sketch. She died for that man-thing, she deserves to know exactly what his dick is really like. Julie feels she has earned that right.

But she loves Nadine more than her own sense of entitlement (just barely), so she lets it go. Mostly. ]

I'm just sayin', you can pretty much say you've been fisted. That's cool. That kinda shit can make a lot of money. Plus, most people haven't had sex with demons. Double cool. President of the hardcore club.

[ And then she reaches for another cookie. Taking a bite, she sinks back into the pillows and crosses her legs. ]

So then what about stuff you haven't tried, but you would?

I don't know if I want to ever say that. [Nadine laughs.] That's part of my story that only you know, and only you will ever know.

[God, she has such weird sexual baggage. Whatever, it's all in the past. That whole fucked up and lengthy chapter of her life is done. Things are better now. Even including the occasional accidental demon.]

Mmm, I don't know. I thought a lot about orgies, only because there was a time I was pretty sure that would be a part of my future. Still not sure where I land on that. I think...I'd probably try a lot of stuff, that didn't get too far into violent or was...gross.

[It's like being in the hallway of some vast mansion full of different rooms. She has explored very little, and isn't entirely sure what could be behind all of those closed doors. But she's curious. There's so much she has yet to experience, yet to even think about.]

I like learning things, and it's not any different when it comes to sex.

Like I said, it's cool. [ Julie shrugs. She can't say she's ever thought very much about the subject before, but from a purely physical facet, being fisted (or... well, she doesn't know how to translate that to "demon dicked") is objectively impressive. Sort of like how contortionists are just fascinating to watch. ] I mean, even with magic, I don't know how many people get to have that kinda story.

[ She nods as she nibbles at her cookie, listening. ] It was actually less orgies than you'd think. I mean, still a decent number, but not that many. Tons of people fuckin' everywhere you went, though.

[ The way she speaks is almost absent-minded. Julie very rarely actually speaks of New Vegas, even the benign parts like this. It is a chapter of life that she has no real desire to ever relive. Not the good times, of which there were many, and certainly not of the bad times. But Nadine has as much right to the memories as Julie does, even if she had not had the chance to live them.

And Julie is quite faded on wine and weed right now, so. ]

What about stuff like roleplay or whatever?

Okay, fair, it is a pretty unique story.

[Which makes sense. All the things that make Nadine any degree of unique are weird things. But still. It's not one any but Julie will ever hear. There's really no need for anyone else to know.]

Huh. I always imagined just a ton of orgies.

[Romanesque debauchery all around, really. That was her only true context for widespread hedonism, all those alleged stories of the sexual and pleasurable excess of the Roman emperors and nobility. Caligula and the rest.

Not that it matters. Either way, her future is a lot less orgy-filled. Maybe at some point. Jaskier seems like the type to enjoy a nice orgy now and again.

She makes another little 'hmm' noise and looks up, thoughtfully, at Julie's question.]

Roleplaying? I don't know...I guess I've never thought that much about it. Well...I don't know, I have thought about dressing Jaskier up like Lord Byron and having him recite poetry, but I'm not sure if that counts. I guess I'd probably try it, if the premise wasn't ridiculous.

[The common scenarios she's familiar with mostly come from television. Some of them she's just not sure she could take seriously. How anyone could take seriously.]

Have you done it?

Like I said, there definitely were orgies, just less than you'd expect. Probably 'cause an orgy takes more organization than most of us were willin' to put in.

[ An orgy requires being able to coordinate everyone going to the right place at the right time. And there were enough old or ugly people that it couldn't be an open door policy. But also, despite the insane level of hedonism, a lot of the time, New Vegas was a stressful place to be, at least in the upper echelons. They were constantly subject to Flagg's whims and near-omnipotence. ]

Lord Byron? [ Julie's nose wrinkles a little. It's not an unfamiliar name, but she can't say she knows any of his work. Nor does she know how that would look; isn't Jaskier basically already from Lord Byron times? Just... elsewhere? ] I think that definitely counts. I think he'd probably get all dramatic over it bein' someone else's poetry, but it counts.

[ She rolls her eyes thoughtfully, then shifts and turns over. Julie plants her knee on Nadine's other side and straddles her, sitting up to rest on her haunches on Nadine's lap. She reaches for both of Nadine's hands, lacing their fingers together. ]

Sure. Only a few times in like, a full-blown, dress up type deal. Usually at Halloween. I asked Geralt if he wanted to hunt, after my first party. [ She giggles a bit. A wolf and a deer. Good combination. ] But sometimes, you just come up with an idea. Make a little joke about it and go from there.

[Huh. Nadine had never considered that orgies would need to be organized, but it makes sense. The things one learns...

She laughs a little and shrugs.]

I like the romantics. And actually...thinking about it...I think I might be into roleplaying. I...thought that's what was going on when Dean and I hooked up while he was a demon.

[And she'd been into it. In the context of a sexy game, it had been perfectly fine. She thinks on some of the things she and Jaskier have done, and some of it has skirted close to roleplay.

As Julie shifts, Nadine lifts herself a bit higher on her pillows. She threads her fingers through Julie's and smiles with growing interest. Considering the topic of conversation this evening, she's certainly feeling it. And when she's nice and blitzed she always finds herself even more aware of how beautiful the other woman is.]

That's really cute. But yeah, I can see what you mean, about a joke growing into not a joke.

Really? [ Julie seems surprised. Her own encounter with Dean had been much more straight-forward, even if he did trigger something in her head that she does not want to think about. He hadn't said anything that made her think he was playing a role. ] Like how? He did like, a whole scene?

[ Well, now she feels even more gypped. Just another thing to get annoyed at Dean about later. What, I'm not good enough for a whole set-up?, she will say, smacking him in the chest repeatedly.

She gently squeezes Nadine's hands, leans forward to kiss her softly. ]

Or you can use stuff you're already doin'. Somethin' like, "Oh, Doctor Nadine, I just don't know what's wrong. Can you gimme an exam?"

Yeah, actually, he did.

[Aside from the - entirely non-sexual - single detail she shared with Geralt, her encounter with Dean isn't one she's told anyone about. For a variety of reasons. But her walls are down this evening, even moreso than they normally are with Julie. And there's little Nadine keeps from Julie.]

And he was real up front about the demon thing, but I just thought it was part of a scenario. He'd been helping me work through some things and a roleplaying aspect wasn't unusual. I just thought...it was basically sex therapy. It was therapeutic...

[She'd never felt threatened, or as if anything had gone beyond her control. But she hadn't known the reality. Things likely would have gone much differently if she had.

The kiss is eagerly returned, and she laughs after Julie pulls away.]

Yeah, I should have seen that coming. "Get undressed and let me take a look", it lends itself really well.

[ Julie is gonna kick Dean right in the shin. She demands equal treatment by demons who want to fuck her because of a grudge with someone else! But something else about this makes her squint. ]

I'm sorry, you're gettin' dick therapy from Dean? Dean Winchester? And it's helping? [ She is so incredulous. The idea of a group of consenting adults having sex interchangeably between themselves made him leave the room. ] What -- I actually cannot imagine that.

[ She shakes her head, as if to clear it. The whole affair is something Julie would rather forget, but one thing sticks with her: Dean is sexy only while possessed by a literal demon. It's just the gospel truth, pun intended.

With a grin and a hum, Julie lets go and runs her hands up Nadine's stomach, over her chemise. ]

Or I could help you study for class. Learn anatomy and... [ There is a pause. She is obviously not entirely clear what med school entails. ] biology.

[ Those might be the same thing. She's not sure. ]

[Nadine's immediate response is to laugh.]

Oh god, no! The sex and the helping me work through some things were separate. There were role playing elements to the therapy stuff. Just a lot of me being able to tangibly confront some things and stuff like that. But I do have some weird issues around sex and romance, and I honestly thought I understood what he was doing. I thought he was kind of...recreating a scenario for me where I'd have the power. But no, I'm just catnip for demons I guess.

[It had made sense to her. It was hardly the first time Dean had presented her with a 'demon' in the Horizon. Usually a pale imitation of reality, conjured with the magic of the place, but the precedent was there.

At least she can sort of laugh about it. What else can she do? At some point she knows she needs to actually talk to Dean, but...she imagines neither of them are in any rush. Anyway, now is hardly the time to think about it. Right now she's in bed with someone who means a great deal more to her than Dean. Something else she never would have imagined, just a couple of years ago. They hadn't exactly gotten off to a great start. But they'd been different people then, caught in the same dark maelstrom.]

Anatomy. Or...have you ever heard of reflexology? It's where you utilize the connections of the nervous system to trigger endorphin release with massage. It can be used for relieving pain....and increasing pleasurable sensations. I could really use some practice...

[While she's still not sold on it as an actual branch of medicine, it certainly has bedroom applications in this context. A sexy massage is still a sexy massage.]

How is he qualified to help with therapy? That man has the emotional IQ of a sack of potatoes. Like, might as well adopt a hound dog and ask it for advice.

[ She doesn't comment on the rest. Nadine may be demon catnip, but they want her; Julie just feels like an idiot because something inside her is drawn to them and they don't care about her at all. It's incredibly demoralizing to feel unwanted by literal demons.

Yes, she is aware of how fucked up that line of thinking is, but she can't help how she feels.

Brows knit, Julie shakes her head in response to the question. The word reflexology isn't exactly unfamiliar, but maybe she just thinks that because she knows what a reflex is. ]

Mm-mm, I don't know what that is. They teach that at your school? [ Her back arches and she pulls her slip over her head, tossing it to the end of the bed. ] I can suffer through a massage, though. For you.

[ Has anyone (well, anyone not creepy) ever been turned down when offering a massage? ]

Not actual therapy. Just...therapeutic guidance in one specific area. It doesn't matter.

[It's not like that's going to be resuming anytime soon, if at all. Some catharsis was found, and that's worth it to Nadine. Sometimes a girl just needs to scream angry things at her demons. Literally.

But demons and Dean are quickly fading from her mind. It would difficult to concentrate on anything, really, with Julie stripping off her nightclothes on top of her. That's the sort of thing that commands all attention.]

I took a class. They teach all kinds of things at the academy. I know all about the body, how everything works, what parts are extra sensitive....

[A smart approach from Julie, really. Nadine always likes talking about her medical studies, and she finds it easy. Even in this particular context. It's sort of fun, honestly. Similar to thinking about ways to apply her magic in the bedroom. Anatomy has dozens of applications here.

She takes one of Julie's hands in her own, palm up. Her fingers begin to rub gently but firmly at the base of her thumb and high on the center of her palm.]

There are so many nerve endings in the human body, right here in the skin. And every one of them can send good feelings everywhere.

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nsfw

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