abraxaslogs | ( catch-all ) the more that i see myself

Obviously.

[ There's no hiding how pleased she is to hear in less words that Alucard is comfortable with her. She wouldn't have guessed from that random meeting in the park that it would lead to him flying up to her bedroom as a cloud of bats or that their friendship was as strong as it was today.

At the mention of the sooty, stained laundry Hilda freezes with his back still turned to her. She hadn't realized that the clothes from that day were still in the basket. Alucard is right - they're probably irrevocably stained now - but even if they weren't, she isn't sure she wants a keepsake or reminder from the fight. She already wears them all over her body. Hopefully he wouldn't question it further. ]

If you're already cleaning my axe I guess that's okay.

[ She waits until he's seated again. ]

You didn't answer my earlier question though. Who started the rumour? Was it Ioana? [ A pointed pause. ] Or maybe it was you?

[Alucard can just take that note of pleasure and acknowledge it with nothing more than an "if you say so" sort of hum that lets him focus on the axe. It allows Hilda's moment of freezing to be hidden, and he turns only after.]

I'm good at getting bloodstains out of garments, but soot is above my level.

[He's happy to start examining the axe, polish cloth resting on his shoulder for the time being. There's....a lot going on on the axe quite frakly.]

Did it occur you to I could be lying about the whole thing in order to encourage a pointless argument to make you feel better?

I'll keep that in mind the next time I get blood on my clothes which hopefully won't be any time soon.

[ And certainly not to the extent that the clothes in the basket had suffered. At least they hadn't been her best clothes. And if her clothes were the sacrifice for not having her axe not being crushed under the weight of the dragon's body she supposes it's a worthy one. Not that she'd say that aloud normally.

She gives him a look. ]

Of course I thought about it. But there are so many other lies you could have come up with so why that one?

[ In other words she's still not letting up. ]

I would also prefer avoiding making a habit of it. Still, I'm not sure how you managed that level of soot. Should I be impressed?

[Fine Hilda. If you're not letting up, then he's finding out what you actually did to get your clothes to a state like this. Fair's fair.]

It seemed the most obvious one to get a reaction. Imply anything about romance and people immediately react.

[ Flatly, she starts — ]

I think we both know the answer to that. Do you really think that I’m going to try and make a habit of getting blood or soot on my clothes?

[ Even though she’s certain he’s joking (he better be joking), she can’t help but look incredulous all the same. ]

The only way that will ever happen is if I ever run into a dragon —

[ She almost says “again” but catches herself. Her eyes widen like saucers and she blinks several times before trying to rearrange her expression back into something that doesn’t clearly telegraphic, “Oh fuck.”

What were they talking about again? Right. Romance rumours. ]

I just didn’t think that that would be your first theme to reach for, that’s all. Does that mean you didn’t hate the kisses we’ve had? [ Teasingly then because surely that will hopefully cover up her verbal slip up. ] Does that mean you’ve thought about more of them?

[Alucard is all set to volley back something flippant but excuse his whole ass, a dragon?

He would like at latest a little credit in rolling with that punch, because there's a little amused noise.]

I continue to be impressed by what you can do with an axe. How big was the dragon?

[See! He's not going to panic, he's going to be totally chill and normal. Obviously.]

Hilda, if I hated the first one I would have had a negative reaction to the second and--!!!!!!!!!

[CAN THEY PLEASE FOCUS ON THE DRAGON?????]

[ The amused noise successfully manages to draw forth heat to her cheeks. ]

I didn't fight a dragon!

[ Her voice squeaks out at the top of her protest, her vocal chords not quite healed yet. As she winces in pain, her hand reaches out to briefly touch her throat before remembering that their are bandages there. Her fingers reach over to curl around the cup of magically kept warm water on her bedside table all while giving him a withering look from over the rim.

The water is soothing against her throat but when she does manage to find her voice again it comes out more like a rasp. ]

Stop looking at me like that! Shouldn't you be focusing on cleaning my axe that you were very concerned about a couple of seconds ago?

[A single eyebrow arches very slowly up Alucard's face. He doesn't need to say it. If you didn't fight a dragon, what was that reaction?

But to Hilda's point, he does start to rub the cloth over the metal of the axe, slow and so very, very methodical. Waiting for Hilda to keep digging her own grave.]

[ She sees that eyebrow, acknowledges it, and hates it. Almost like she can read his mind she launches right into trying to patch up the gaping hole that she had inadvertently punched in her own story.

Incited by the eyebrow raise and the return to his loudly skeptical axe cleaning she retalities in the way she knows how: childishly. With a motion that immediately sparks pain in her body, she chucks a nearby pillow aimed at his face with no guarantee that it will hit him considering he's a vampire.

But a girl can dream, right? ]

[Nice try Hilda. One hand just reaches out and catches the pillow.

Then there's the I'm disappointed in you sigh.]

I won't insist on details, but I would like to at least know the extent of your injuries so I can try and help out with the Hall where I can.

[ Not the I’m disappointed in you sigh. She hates that sigh for a number of reasons and another one seems to added to the list: when it comes from him specifically.

Her cheeks bloom at the palpable worry layered on top of the disappointment in the air. The latter makes her skin crawl while the former only serves to make her feel guilty about trying to dodge this series of questions for as long as she has. Reluctantly she lowers the blanket from her neck, revealing the wrap of bandages around her throat. She’d lift her nightgown if she didn’t think it would completely scandalize him to show the bandages that were wrapped around her torso. At least she can start with her throat because it’s the easiest thing to show without needing to say it aloud. She’ll work her way up to it but there’s more important things at hand right now. ]

You don’t have to go to the Hall to help out. I’m sure the team has it covered and you’re already busy as it is.

[He's good at being a disappointed parent, what can he say?

Alucard's naturally pale, so no color goes from his face as Hilda lowers the blanket. The bandages around her throat are alarming in and of themselves and need no additional commentary from him. He can imagine that there's more.

So extensive. The word he wants is extensive.

He exhales slowly.]

I can provide coverage. And I do stand by my remark about being impressed, it is a remarkable thing. Do your friends need to take a day for themselves? [He can take over for a few hours is what he means to say.]

[ Her cheeks are working on overtime for the both. Pointedly her gaze is looking back down at her hands instead of at Alucard as she huffs in - what? Embarrassment? Shame? ]

My ribs and throat would argue that this isn't remarkable. What would be really remarkable is fighting a dragon and not getting hurt.

[ Which clearly didn't happen for her.

The thought of giving Sylvain and Claude some time away from their self-appointed vigil does sound appealing even if it's at the expense of Alucard having to take that it up instead for several hours. ]

They need a break even if they won't admit as much.

[ Speaking from her minimal experience, caring for people is exhausting both physically and mentally even if they're asleep half of the time. ]

But they haven't listened to me. If you can convince them that I'm not going to perish if I'm left alone, you're welcome to try.

Hilda, you're not dead and you can recover from these injuries. [He simply pauses in his axe polishing, giving her a level and slightly judgemental stare.] Not being dead counts for quite a lot, you know.

[No part of Alucard is shocked that Hilda's companions are refusing to admit they need a break. No one would, in this situation. He'll address it a little later when he pops his head out, but the offer will absolutely be made.]

Do you think they'd respond to bats chasing them out of the house?

I’d rather not count anything to do with that fight, especially almost dying.

[ The truth slips out, mostly indignant, sort of snappy, and clearly a sign that she doesn’t want to talk about it more than she has to. But somewhere underneath that is a deep rooted fear that had been following her since December.

In all of the nightmares she’d had after Petra told her that she hadn’t made it through her version of the war, having her throat split open by a dragon hadn’t been one of the scenarios. Just when she thought her recurring nightmares had ended, they just had to go and rear their heads again.

Realizing what she’s done she deflates again, pressing the heels of her palms into her eyes briefly. ]

I’m sorry.

[ She tries to move past it which is easy considering Alucard offers up a very silly suggestion. She laughs into her hands and by the time she looks up she looks genuinely amused. ]

It’s hard to say. We’ve never had bats in the loft before. I wouldn’t want you being hit by a broom or magic or anything but [ Her eyes sparkle mischievously. ] I think it would hilarious to watch personally.

[Alucard would like some credit for having his reaction being wholly understated here. He accepts what Hilda says about almost dying with no wide eyes or sharp gasps. Only a nod of acknowledgement and a very dry:] All the more reason I stand by the previous statement.

[Not dead means the world. It also feels like permission to place the axe aside for a few moments and sit himself at the edge of Hilda's bed, offering out his arm to squeeze if needed. Apology accepted.]

I can deal with a few broom swats. When you're a little more mobile, I'll go about it. No one is not surprised by the whole event.

[ The lack of reaction - even if it’s a sassy lack of reaction - means more to her than he’ll know in that moment. She’s had a shocking (but objectively understandable) amount of fussing and sitting in her own woes that she’s beginning to learn there is such thing as too much attention.

Alucard’s shift of seat and offered arm are met with a brief pause before she reaches for it, giving him a grateful squeeze that hopefully will at least convey some of her gratitude. A pout forms on her face that has nothing to do with his gesture and more to do with a rain cheque for next time. ]

Aw, please? I could set up right by the door or something. Think about how funny that would be.

[Congratulations on hitting the brick wall of attention Hilda. That is remarkable to achieve.

His arm remains where it is. Just in case it is needed a little later on.]

...Hm. I think we'd need to foreground it a bit for the whole ruse to be effective. Keep fussing that they need to take a break. Offer names of those who could fill in, that sort of thing. Then bats.

[ The jury is out on that one. She'd rather go back to being a spoiled little thing, thanks very much.

When he doesn't draw his arm back, Hilda doesn't think much about it. If he isn't going to remove it and if there isn't any sign of discomfort, she isn't going to remove her hand either. She's always been tactile but she never wants it to be at the expense of others.

A mischievous sort of light mixes into her eyes. ]

I could make that happen. The way you say that makes it sound like you've done it before. Was it bats the last time too? Or was it your wolf form?

[He's just gonna keep being a physical thing to gently squeeze for whenever it is needed, it seems. Alucard can take that. He's gotten so much better about people and physical contact over the past two and a bit years now.

Good. Scheming seems to have helped.]

Oh, I've never done it before. I just understand structure. Architect and all.

[He shrugs, stating it all so calmly and matter of factly that he absolutely should not be trusted. But he's a drama queen, so that means it'll work.]

[ Thank goodness for that because she isn't about to let go any time soon.

The scheming is definitely working. She's looking far perkier than before, and there's a brightness to her eyes. His confident delivery of the line is enough to make her laugh properly though. Despite the obvious roughness to her laugh, there's a hint of her old self still shining through. ]

What does architecture have to do with scaring people as a cloud of bats? Either way, I'm honored that your first time is going to be with me.

You have to build to it, obviously. [Bad, bad joke. Alucard rushes right past it.] Bats, in and of themselves, are just a random ocurance and won't get you what you want which is an extended break. They'll just call someone to get rid of the bats. Bats after a protracted argument about taking a break is a sign that they need to take a break.

[There's a gentle shrug, as if this is all terribly straight forward.] Think you can pull your part off?

[ Oh. Oh no. She's heard some bat jokes in her time, but that one has to be up there with them. Alucard might have rushed right past that one but she doesn't, her expression falling flat almost immediately. ]

Of course I can pull it off. I have so much energy from doing nothing and acting scared because bats suddenly appeared in my room shouldn't be that hard.

[ This little prank is something she's still on board with, but she can't help but pause feeling like there's some sort of hole in the plan. Her mouth settles into a small pout. ]

What's going to stop them from grabbing me and running though? With all the hovering they've been doing I don't think they're about to just leave me alone if there are bats in the loft.

I could block them from doing so. Or just close the door and have you lock it from the inside.

[They can play fast and loose with details on this, probably. Alucard is glad to have found a good and deeply silly thought to occupy Hilda at any rate. That's a victory.]

Or I can at that point be people shaped and bodily remove them from the house.

[ Hilda's used to having to think on her feet but she would be lying if she said that she'd prefer to at least have some idea of what was going to happen when she isn't particularly mobile and still at the mercy of her hover wyverns.

Is she still entertaining this idea seriously? Hard to say, but it's definitely boosting her mood. The pout dissolves, giving way to a teasing smile. ]

If they never forgive me for this will you take responsibility and take care of me, Adrian?

( catch-all ) the more that i see myself

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